500 Miles
Hellfire 2
By Princess Alexandria
Raven just stared at where the portal had been. She'd felt a hum of it, and actually felt when Christy entered it.
Why did everyone she loved leave her? Raven wrapped her arms around her body and the reminder that she wasn't hugging anyone else caused a tear to trail down her cheek. "Christy." A soft sob escaped her lips. She'd managed to be strong for the woman, knowing Christy felt guilty enough, but now Raven was alone. There wasn't even the fantasy of one day having Tessa back, she was just alone.
"We should head out of here in case that little portal of hers registered on the Xmen's radar." Mystique's voice was a rude reminder that Raven wasn't physically alone. Raven took a deep breath and wiped her tears away. "Lets go." Raven didn't bother to reply, not wanting Mystique to hear her pained tearful voice. Not wanting to give this woman something she could use to hurt her.
Raven felt the weight of the coat being put on her shoulders and the strong hands that squeezed her shoulders for just a brief moment. It felt almost friendly and concerned, but Raven didn't look up from watching her feet on the ground. The water puddled around them. Her clothes were wet. "You can change in the car, but we need to put some distance in before we stop moving or it could all be over before it begins."
"Okay." Raven sniffled a little and moved to hold the coat over her body as they made their way to the buildings door, which Mystique had broken into for them. The pool wasn't normally opened this early on a Sunday.
The flashes of memories played behind her eyes as Mystique drove. The silence might have been tense, but Raven was hardly paying attention to anything outside of her mind. Christy really had been pretty, and strangely taller. The boots probably. Christy didn't look like she had wanted to leave. Raven took a shuddering breath. It would be nice to believe she'd see her again, but it was over. Raven had more of a chance seeing the mother that never wanted to see her again than she did the woman that helped her survive.
Everyone she loves leaves her.
Tessa's words about never coming home haunted her and Raven clenched her fist hard enough to hurt so that she wouldn't cry again.
"You could sleep in the car, but the house is warmer." A voice interrupted her thoughts and Raven looked up to see they were parked in the driveway and Mystique was standing outside of the car looking in. She hadn't even noticed they'd stopped.
"Okay."
"You feeling okay?" Mystique grabbed the bag with wet clothes.
"I'm fine." Raven opened the door and stepped out. Her head was starting to throb. "Just fine." Her voice was flat as she lied. It would have worked if her knees hadn't failed. She started to crumple to the ground. Her hands moved out quickly to soften her fall.
"Yeah just fine." Mystique muttered as she moved to squat beside her. Mystique lifted her up and moved to the door.
"You don't have to carry me." Raven's breath was coming a little faster in fear. "Please, don't."
"I'm just bringing you inside." Mystique stared into Raven's wide eyes for just a moment. "I'm not going to hurt you." Raven's face blushed and she looked away, ashamed of her instant fear and her uncontrollable thoughts of how badly a shape shifter could hurt her. Christy trusted Mystique not to do that. Just because Raven felt helpless and more alone than ever didn't mean everyone around her wanted to hurt her. She tried to silently lecture herself on her irrational fear as Mystique stepped into the house. Irene had opened the door.
"Why don't you set Raven on the couch dear." Irene's voice spoke and Raven felt herself being lowered onto the soft couch.
"Really, I'm fine." Raven scowled a little at the older woman putting some sort of throw over her like Raven was three.
"Oh stop fussing child." Irene shook her head and started to move towards the kitchen. "You aren't well or you wouldn't have fallen. I'll get you something to drink."
"Oh, could you get me a beer dear?" Mystique's voice drew Raven's eyes back to the blue woman as Mystique sat on the chair nearby.
"Can I have a beer?" Raven asked a little hesitantly. It was disorienting to have people she'd heard about, and friends had fought, taking care of her like this.
"No, it would hardly help you. You're dehydrated." Irene sounded firm as she left the room. "Juice, you'll have three glasses of juice before you go to bed. That can't have been easy on your body."
Raven just stared after the older woman for a moment. "If you still want a beer later I can sneak one up to you." Mystique spoke quietly and Raven turned to look at the woman still studying her.
"It's okay. I'm fine."
"You keep saying that like it'll convince me." Mystique shook her head. "It won't. Stop lying to me, I heard you two last night. Kinky, but still I definitely heard a few declarations of love."
"It's none of your business." Raven's eyes narrowed, willing Mystique to just shut up.
"And that kiss you gave her, well… let me just say it wasn't sisterly."
"You are a bitch. I don't know what she saw in any version of you." Raven's voice was cold as she glared at Mystique. Raven was fully aware how some people might judge her for having sex with her double, and it would be turned into something wrong, but it hadn't been. Christy had been wonderful and sweet and caring. Christy made Raven feel safer just by being there and Raven didn't want to listen to someone turn it into something dirty.
When Mystique opened her mouth to say more Raven's eyes narrowed dangerously. Yellow eyes stared at her, measuring her, and then Mystique just closed her mouth without talking. Good. Too bad that mouth opened again a second later. "So what was her relationship with the other me?" Raven relaxed into the couch a little with that slight change in subject and considered that question.
"Christy was seeing Emma Frost, so you can stop your little fantasies." Her tone was slightly irritated as she filled in where this conversation was going. Apparently Christy left Raven with some understanding of how Mystique's teasing normally went, or it was just experience, but thinking that Christy left something behind made Raven feel better. She'd prefer to think Christy was a part of her still, just a silent part.
"I'm perfectly happy with Irene." Mystique smirked and Raven felt some pain as she looked into Mystique's eyes. She did what she could to cover it, but Mystique wouldn't be perfectly happy much longer. No matter how irritating the woman was, knowing she was going to hurt like that when there were so few truly loving couples in the world, it hurt. Mystique had what Raven wanted, and she was going to lose it.
"Christy might have a little crush on her teacher." Raven spoke more gently, giving Mystique something to boost her self confidence. It wasn't like Mystique acted like she wasn't self confident, but knowing a woman like Christy was attracted to you, well… Raven had liked it when her double's thoughts had turned in that direction for her.
"She throws words like love around a bit freely." Mystique's tone was more serious.
"And she means it every time." Raven noticed Irene come into the room. "Christy is…" Raven sighed and gently took the glass Irene was handing her. "She's from a planet that died and she doesn't put off telling people she cares about them any more. Not after loosing everyone."
"But I thought she was trying to get home."
"Her new home. She wasn't born there." Raven had been stunned to learn this about her double, but Christy had been amazingly forthright in talking about her past, even when she was ashamed of it. Raven held up the glass in a weary toast. "She moves to a whole new reality and finds love, and I can't even keep it when it's in my own state." And why was she sharing this with these two?
Irene patted her arm gently and Mystique was looking at her, seeming to rake her eyes over Raven. "Your lovergirl is really missing out on something, but that doesn't mean you won't find someone else." Raven's jaw clenched. The idea of finding someone else was upsetting. Rather than reply Raven took a drink of her juice, knowing she had a lot more to manage to drink before she'd be allowed to go to bed and finally be away from having to play at being brave.
She missed Tessa and Christy already. She missed Storm, she even missed Kitty who got on her nerves so often.
She was doing the right thing. Raven focused on drinking and ignored the conversation the couple was having. It was the right thing. There was no way she could stay here now. She could never pretend to be okay and fool any of them.
…………………..
"Okay, so you understand what you need to do?" Irene spoke while actually straightening Raven's collar.
"They did try to train me to be a spy." Raven admitted quietly. "I can do this."
"Of course you can dear." Irene gently cupped Raven's cheek and it didn't cause the nervousness Raven was worried it would. "You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for." Irene stepped back a little and the hand fell away. "I will be calling you occasionally."
"Good." Penn station seemed to be crowded and people moved en mass from place to place. "Thank you." It was still hard to believe that when she needed help these two were the ones to offer it. Mystique was pretending to be an older man and he was coming back from the ice cream store with a cone in each hand.
"You better go before they leave without you. All the information you need is in the folder." Irene glanced at one of Raven's bag. "Good luck Raven Tyler." Raven nodded at her new name, the first of several and turned to leave. She kept her head down letting the blonde wig fall over her face, just in case anyone was watching the train stations for her.
Raven was going to have to learn to be paranoid for a while, because there was no way the people she was running from wouldn't try to find her. She never thought she could imagine a situation where she wanted her friends to give up on her, but she did now.
She found her train and moved to sit at a window with a sigh. The strap of her luggage caught in her hair, and she had to carefully fix her wig so no one noticed. It was distracting seeing blonde hair out of the corner of her eye and the feel of it on her shoulders was just wrong, but Raven Tyler was a blonde and Raven was just lucky Mystique didn't feel the need to add a new nose or something else like that to the mix.
It was going to be a long trip to New Orleans, but it was warmer there. It was different. It should be a nice place to visit. Raven opened her carry on and pulled out the file. An envelope held the key to her new apartment and a business card. She turned it around to see Irene's handwriting telling her that she was now a bartender in the French Quarter.
Raven opened the book Irene must have packed when she wasn't looking and sighed. When she went out to bars she normally ordered things like beer or wine. She didn't know anything about mixed drinks, and now she had until the train got to New Orleans to learn.
………………..
"Hey Rav, I need another beer." The man at the bar slurred his sentence a little and smiled at her. He was thin and barely looked old enough to be at a bar with his youthful eyes and messy blonde hair.
"Well Billy, am I gonna have to call your boyfriend to pick you up off the floor if I give you any more?" Raven stopped wiping down the bar and looked at the regular customer. She'd only been working here a month and she'd had to call Billy's boyfriend twice. That man didn't like to come get his drunk lover and really if Billy didn't straighten up there was a good chance there would be no boyfriend to pick him up in the near future. Raven's voice became quieter as she got closer to the man. "He's a really gorgeous man. What are you doing here looking at these lugs?" Her eyes traveled to the show and the half naked men dancing for a less than full audience. Weekdays were slow. Only the alcoholics and a few tourists dropped by.
"He's too good for me. He's gonna figure it out." Billy's voice became sad and so young sounding.
Raven gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to tell Billy he could change that if he wasn't hanging around gay bars all the time without his lover. Telling the customers they shouldn't be there wasn't the way to keep a job and this place was probably the best she could get with little to no job experience. It wasn't like she could put down superhero on her resume. None of the men around here looked twice at her. No one hit on her. For working at a bar she had it good.
After closing up she waved to Jack and stepped out. She could hear him locking up behind her. The street was a little dark and she made her way down the street to where she might be able to catch a cab home.
The cabbie let her off in front of the apartment building. It still felt wrong to think of this as home. Once inside she tossed her keys on the kitchen counter and grabbed a beer as she sat down on the couch. All the comforts of home, she grimaced as she took her first drink and turned on the old T.V. Nothing much was on this late at night, but it beat staring at a wall.
The wig came off and the cool air felt good against her real scalp. Raven rubbed at her real hair absently as she took another sip of her beer.
She grabbed her sketch book and opened it to the drawing she was working on. Christy stared back at her from the page. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't get it to feel right. Raven had finally taken to accepting that Christy was her double in a way she hadn't before. Drawing features that familiar to her made it clear, but she also felt like she couldn't tell who she was drawing. That weird ambiguity about the differences between the two of them still existed.
She grabbed the edge of the throw on the couch and pulled it down over her. The couch was ugly and had needed the cover up. This place was hardly the nicest place she'd stayed, but it was temporary. Irene had assured her that not all the new identities she gave Raven would live in dumps. Since Raven was the beggar she'd never complained, but it was nice to know the older woman thought of it.
………………….
Raven just watched the disaster in making with cautious eyes, hoping it really wouldn't happen. As the tall dark haired man moved a step closer to a shorter well built man. The subject of the argument stood to the side with wide eyes talking quickly but no one was listening.
The loud music covered up most of the words, but angry clips still reached her ears. Raven shared a glance with her boss and put her towel down. A few customers were looking at her and she had to walk past a few of them trying to get her attention.
"Where's David?" Raven glanced around the bar again and didn't see any hint of his well muscled black clad form or his long black ponytail, which is usually what she spotted first, since few of the customers wore their hair that way. David was more to intimidate people into behaving than to actually force them too, he looked like a formidable fighter, but Raven had never seen if he really could fight.
"Taking a leak." Jack sighed heavily at the scene and how the other men were starting to give the two yelling men a wide berth. "Dammit." Jack took a step towards them and Raven shook her head. Jack was a slight built man over fifty and Raven could see the anger in the other men's faces. Talking wouldn't work. She moved to follow Jack out there.
"Cover the bar." Raven managed to yell at the second bartender as she did it.
"Gentleman." Jack started to talk and was completely ignored. Raven moved around Jack and stared at the two men. The way the tall one twisted telegraphed his move and Raven moved swiftly into his space, blocking the jarring punch and startling him. She was the only woman in the bar after all.
"No bar brawls here." Raven stared into his eyes and her heart beat a bit faster, not that her expression was anything but ice. "You give it up or you take it away. We don't need this shit here."
"This isn't none of your business bitch." His eyes narrowed. "Asshole thinks he can just walk in here and take my fucking boyfriend."
Raven risked a slight glance at said boyfriend, Billy, then looked back at the tall guy. "I broke up with you because you hit me." Billy spoke up. "I can see anyone I want now." That only aggravated the man in front of her more. Raven had never even seen this man. How long ago did Billy break up with him? Figured that the minute Billy's boyfriend actually came to the bar with him this would happen. An ex would be waiting in the shadows to screw up the night.
"I don't give a shit what he did, you don't fight here." Her voice was cold. "Get out and sleep it off." It took more talking and Jack took that responsibility over, but finally the man left. Raven sighed and shared a glance with David who'd showed up somewhere during the scene.
"What the hell was that?" Billy's current boyfriend spoke to Billy finally and Raven gave Billy an encouraging smile before moving back to take care of the bar.
"Raven." Jack tugged on her arm a little to get her attention. "I want to talk to you in the office." He didn't sound pleased.
By the time she got home that night her headache was worse than normal. The loud music and constant chatter at the bar wore her down every night. Also being once again told that she should stay out of fights didn't sit well with her. She was sick and tired of being told she was too weak, that she should stay on the sidelines. She'd been hearing that for years. Sure it was always said gently and in different ways, but the message was always the same. People thought Raven was weak, even the people that knew her. Tessa was the only one that didn't… Raven sighed heavily and tossed her keys on the kitchen counter.
Raven stared at the empty shelf in her fridge with a grimace on her face. She was out of beer. She'd have to go shopping, not an easy task without a car. "Dammit." She closed the fridge door and stood up. It wasn't like she'd be able to sleep sober, she hadn't had much luck with that since she moved here. She'd have to go shopping now before it got any later.
……………….
"Have you done your taxes yet?" David asked her while Raven was busy inventorying the supplies. She stood up and stretched out the stiffness from squatting next to boxes for so long while she tried to think of an answer. It wasn't like she had the paperwork, and her old identity wasn't hers.
"Yeah. I owe a hundred." She muttered the lie while writing down the count she'd just taken.
"Damn, make sure Jack takes more out of your paychecks."
Raven just nodded, but actually she was paying bare minimum. The Raven Tyler identity wouldn't make it to the end of the year and she didn't like having to fund the governments Sentinel program or any other anti mutant measures they were taking. She didn't feel too guilty about finding a way out of paying taxes.
"So are you getting a big check from Uncle Sam?" Raven asked politely while moving to file the weekly inventory report. It felt like it took forever to get out of this place on Wednesday nights, but at least it wasn't daylight as she made her way out the door a half hour later with David by her side.
"Rav," David spoke before Raven could walk away. "Are you okay?"
"What?" Her eyebrows drew together as she tried to figure out why he'd ask.
"It's just, a hundred dollars… you don't really get enough hours to pay that do you? And if you were working at another bar you'd have great tips, but here…"
Oh, money. Raven felt relieved that this was just about money. She started to walk down the street with David by her side. "I'm fine."
"But if you're not, I have a friend that works at a straight bar and they need a bartender there. A pretty woman like you would clean up in tips."
"Trying to get rid of me so Jack hires more male eye-candy?" She smirked at David when he seemed flustered by that.
"No, I just..."
"I know, but," Raven sighed and glanced at him. "I really don't want people hitting on me right now. Working at a gay bar, it's… I like it."
"Bad break up?" He sounded sympathetic and Raven almost wished she could really answer.
"Yeah." That minimum of truth was all she offered as she moved to wave at the cab. "Want to share?" She asked him, and he just smiled and followed her into the cab. David lived twice as far out, but she'd pay her part. He didn't have to stay late, he'd done that for her.
……………….
Raven sighed as she stared up at the dirty ceiling on her day off, her arms hung over the back of the couch and her pencil dangled from her fingers. This was boring. It felt like she just waited for her shifts at work.
She missed having a house full of people she could visit with if she felt lonely. Her eyes fell on the phone and she grimaced. She couldn't even do that.
When the phone started to ring Raven stared at it for a moment to make sure she'd heard it right. She reached over to the table and picked it up. "Hello?"
"How are you doing child?" Irene's voice made Raven smile just a little. It was almost like the old woman knew she needed someone to talk to.
"Bartending is working out." Raven settled in comfortably on the couch again. "It's not too bad."
"That's good to know." Irene's words trailed off a moment and Raven hoped that wasn't the end of the conversation. Her mind moved quickly to try and find a way to keep Irene on the phone.
"You two doing okay?" Her own voice sounded awkward to her ears, and she cringed at how unnatural this conversation sounded.
"Yes. Mystique is on a mission right now, so I'm catching up on my writing."
"You write?" Raven smiled just a little, feeling like this was something she wanted to hear about.
"Well, not novels." Irene seemed to hesitate just a moment. "You know I'm a precog. I write down my visions so that I can try to make some sense of them."
"They don't make sense?" Raven had always assumed it would be like watching a tv show, seeing what was going to happen.
"Not always. And sometimes I get several visions related to a single event. They can be just slightly different or they show me how just a small action can change things drastically." Irene chuckled. "Once I sent Mystique on a mission to move twenty dollars that had fallen out of someone's pocket so that another man would see it. She grumbled for days about sitting out in the cold rain waiting for some man to pick up the money. I managed to keep him from being killed with that twenty dollars. He changed his plans for the day and wasn't in the car accident, he was in the movie theater."
"Wow." Raven shut her hanging jaw, stunned to see how powerful Irene really was. She stopped problems before they started.
"That man has a chance of assassinating a key player in the anti mutant movement. It's a small chance, but if that Senator is allowed to live he could very well cause untold damage." And in that one comment Irene reminded Raven what side of the fence she was on. Raven felt a little uncomfortable with the topic.
"You did that just so he'd kill someone, maybe?" There was a bit of Raven's condemnation in her voice and she didn't try to hide it.
"I had a lot of reasons to do that. One of which was he might kill the senator, or he might become a moving force in the Mutants right movement. He could also become a cashier at a store and live his life in relative obscurity. My powers aren't an exact science. That's why I spend time writing my visions down and trying to figure out how they all work together."
"It isn't right to play god like that."
"So tell me, have you written to Emma Frost yet?" Irene's voice was a little harsher and Raven's eyes dropped down to the floor at that question.
"No."
"And why haven't you? You know she's in danger, her children are in danger." Irene paused. "Is it because you are playing god? You are deciding which ending is more beneficial?" Raven stayed quiet, feeling the guilt again. She'd written the letter and it still sat on the dresser. It had been there for a month. Christy had made her decision, but Raven wasn't sure she could do that. Irene spoke softly. "Some of the children would become Masters, some slaves, but none of them would be innocent. One might die at Selene's hands, Two might torture Emma Frost, one might start a bid for the seat of Black King and your spy might be crippled in the battle… it's all possibilities, not guarantees. Do you understand now? I can't walk away from playing God anymore than you can. Even deciding not to act is making a decision." Raven felt her skin pale at the picture Irene was painting. Knowing that Irene knew about Tessa was also a little concerning.
"But they haven't done anything wrong yet." Her voice cracked as she weakly protested her own inactions.
"Then there are the students that Emma Frost won't have in the future, the ones that will be killed if she isn't out saving them."
"You do this all the time?" Raven finally interrupted the long silence after Irene had spoken.
"All the time." Irene sounded weary. "Constantly trying to mold a future I'd want to leave my children in, but whenever I move one piece another shifts and it's so very hard." Raven was so glad in that moment that she only had the one decision to make. That Christy hadn't left her with endless information about the future.
"That's…" Raven just shook her head. "I wouldn't want your powers."
"Yes, it is a shame we can't pick them out isn't it?" Irene sounded a less irritated, she seemed to be calming down from her defensiveness as Raven started to deflate with understanding.
"Am I…" Raven's question trailed off for a moment, almost afraid of the answer or that Irene wouldn't answer. "Am I like that man with the money to you?"
There was an obvious pause in the conversation. "I won't lie to you Raven. I've had visions about you and our choosing to help you is partly based on that. Partly. I'm also helping you because I honestly like you child."
Raven leaned back so she could stare at the ceiling again while taking a quiet breath. At least Irene was being honest about it, unlike the Professor. When the Professor took her in he claimed it was for her own good, but he'd had ulterior motives. "What are you hoping I'll do?" Her voice was a little higher reflecting her fears of what she was supposed to become.
"There are so many visions about you Raven. I'm still working on deciphering them all, but I do know that telling you wouldn't help. You'll do what you do."
"When…" Raven's jaw clenched and her throat felt tight. "When did you start seeing me? Did you know about the club?"
"Not beforehand. I didn't know beforehand." Irene spoke quickly, her voice attempting to soothe. "A few days before you came to dinner with Rogue I got the vision. I promise you that I didn't set you up for that. Mystique can confirm it, I woke her up because I was crying for you child. I took our decorations down that morning so you'd feel more at home."
A large tear trailed down Raven's cheek. "Thank you." She believed Irene. She had to, because thinking the woman had anything to do with that hell meant she'd trusted the wrong person again.
They talked a little longer about less emotional topics. Raven told Irene about her new job and the people she saw. She talked a little about the weather and other random little things, but her mind stayed on the talk about the visions and on the letter she had on the dresser that she was never going to send out.
……………………
"I noticed you actually have Friday off this week." David's voice startled her as she was doing inventory. She hadn't even realized that he'd stayed for her. "That's my day off too." He smiled at her. "Want to hit the other clubs and listen to music with me?"
It almost sounded like he was asking her out on a date. Raven had to remind herself that David had just recently broken up with a boyfriend, boy being the operative word. It helped her tension from being asked out fade a little. She noticed the hopeful look and wondered if he got as bored on his days off as she did. "Okay." It would beat trying to find something to rent at the video store since Friday night television wasn't that great.
"Great." He smiled even wider and seemed a little puppy-like as he moved to help her lift the boxes she'd been counting back onto the shelf. "We could have dinner first. Do you want me to pick you up? There are a lot of really nice restaurants you'd need a local to show you."
"Okay." Raven wrote down the latest count on her inventory. "Is eight too early?"
"No, it's just fine." He smiled and grabbed Raven's coat off of the chair for her as they started toward the front of the bar. He walked her to the better lit part of the street for a cab yet again and it made Raven feel a little irritated that he felt he needed to protect her. The cab let her off half way to David's house again.
……………….
She checked her outfit in the mirror and decided she looked good. The blonde wig was starting to seem like it belonged to her eyes. Her makeup was subtle and her clothes classy, but not too classy. She had no idea where they'd be going and figured this outfit would blend in best. It wasn't like she had a lot of clothes to pick from anymore. She also didn't have female teammates trying to drag her out to buy new clothes all the time either.
Her living room had a view of the parking lot and she noticed the car moving into a spot out front. It was a surprise to see David getting out of the car, she thought he didn't have one since he never drove to work. She glanced around her less than impressive apartment and deemed it as good as it got. She'd hate for her co-workers to think she was a shiftless loser, but apparently Raven Tyler was. It was pathetic that she was a little embarrassed. Well, maybe it was rude but there was no need to invite him in.
Raven met him on the stairs, heading down to him. "I saw you drive up." She smiled at his surprise. "And what's with the car?"
"I don't bring it to work. My last car got trashed after I had to break up a fight in the bar and I'd rather spend the money on cab fare than go through that again." He stopped walking up the stairs and let her walk down to him.
"Oh that sucks." She kept an eye on the stairs as she walked and tried not to think about how he'd dressed up a bit more than she'd expected. When he held the car door open for her Raven felt a wave of apprehension and a sudden clarity of understanding she wished she didn't have. She was on a date and she hadn't realized that. He closed the door for her and walked around the back of the car, giving Raven a moment to try and calm her mind.
They were two blocks down the road when she started to talk a little nervously. "It's nice to finally have a friend around here. I'm so sick of going everywhere alone, so I just stopped going." She smiled and stared out the side window after glancing at him. "It really is an interesting city, nothing like Manhattan."
"You're a New Yorker?" He sounded amused. "I never would have guessed that."
"Well, here we are." David announced while putting the car in park. Raven noticed the small restaurant. "One of New Orleans better kept secrets. You are going to love the food."
His smiles and his over attention during dinner were just nails in the coffin of the evening. She'd thought he was gay, but he seemed too interested in her. He was probably bisexual. Lucky her.
Raven finally stared down at her fork as she lowered it to her empty plate and sighed. Her habit of not talking about herself, which was more of a necessity than ever before, landed her here. "David," Her eyes moved up to look him in the face. "You do know I'm gay don't you?" He looked a little like a deer in headlights for just a moment. Raven watched him close his mouth and then his shaking his head and smiling helped her relax.
"No I didn't. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize…" Raven sighed and reached out to gently touch his hand across the table. "I really like you David, and I wanted to spend time with you, but I didn't want you thinking it was going to go somewhere."
"It's okay. It's just different." He sighed. "Normally it's the men I'm interested in that are the wrong sexual orientation for me. This is new." After a pause his smile seemed more genuine. "I do have a pretty sister that you might like." Raven hoped he was joking. She didn't miss pretending to date. Would it be pretending anymore? Tessa said she'd never come home. Tessa told her to move on. Raven's eyes fell to the table as she tried to keep herself from showing how much the thought of dating anyone else hurt. "Or not." David spoke more softly. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Her smile felt weak and fake, but she tried.
"She really broke your heart didn't she?" His voice was tender, understanding.
"Yeah, she really did." Raven took a deep breath and tried harder to push this hurt away. She'd cried more than a few nights over everything, but she didn't like the idea of doing it here with a man that didn't even know her real name, even if he was a friend.
"Well, I think this night out is just what you need." He smiled and pulled out money to pay for dinner. "We'll drink and dance and party all night. It'll get your mind off of it all."
The night wasn't a complete failure, she did manage to have fun and there was no awkward moment as David dropped her off. He even suggested doing it again if they had the same night off.
……………..
"No." Raven twisted in the sheets of the lumpy bed her arms raising above her. "Get off of me!" Her body jerked awake and her heart pounded. Raven sat up and shifted to put her feet on the floor. "God dammit!" Her whisper was harsh and pained. It was bad enough to go through it once, why did she relive it in her dreams?
The amount of light coming in through the drapes made her think it was early morning. Her sleeping was over and she'd only managed to get to bed at four. She violently tossed the sheets away from her and trudged to the bathroom for a shower.
Half an hour later she sat on the couch with her drawing tablet in her hands. She hated nights like last night, where she couldn't drink enough to stop the dreams. Her hand moved quickly with broad rough strokes over the paper. The pencil was dark on the white because she was pushing too hard on it, but she didn't care. A form started to take shape. Long black hair, cold dead eyes, and a cruel smirk started to stare back and her. Raven's lines started to become a little shaky and she continued to work. "Monster." She whispered at the page before the pencil started to scribble out the face. "Monster."
When she was done she had to dump a few pages of her tablet, she'd ripped through Selene's face
She dressed and left the apartment a few hours later. Her house keys jingling in her hand after she'd locked up. Of course the monthly meeting would be today, she felt like shit.
"You look like hell." David spoke as he held the door opened for her.
"Gee thanks what a charmer." She gave him a weak smile as she stepped past him for the monthly meeting. It was going to be an hour of boring talk and watching some of the other employees flirt with each other. At least after this bitchfest she'd have the rest of the day off.
A hand rested on her shoulder and her body tensed up. "Are you okay?" His voice was concerned and she struggled to relax.
"Trouble sleeping, nothing serious." Her voice was cold as her mind pleaded for him to just drop it, and to stop touching her. She didn't want… dammit, things had been better before she knew someone was attracted to her. She'd gone four nights without the nightmare and after the date with David it came back with a vengeance.
"Yeah, sure." He sounded hurt. Great. Raven took a deep breath and turned to look at him.
"I'm sorry." She hesitantly reached out to rest a hand on his arm. "I just get major grumpy when I can't sleep."
He gave her a small smile. "Okay." The meeting seemed to be starting up so they both moved to take a seat.
………………….
"So where is the May Pole." Raven smirked at David and glanced at the stage. "I thought gay men might like prancing around a big pole for May Day."
David's jaw dropped and he just stared at her. He was just a little too stunned. "I can't believe it. Was that a sex joke? I don't think I've ever heard one from you." He started to grin and Raven glanced back at the stage she'd been talking about. Had she really stopped talking about sex at all? She used to joke all the time. "Hey Tony…" David started to talk louder. "You have got to hear what Raven just said…" Her face started to blush a healthy pink as he repeated her joke to another bartender. It earned her a grin before Tony went back to work to get ready for the night and take in the delivers that came in on Tuesday afternoon. He had the shift and Raven had just come in to get her paycheck and meet up with David.
"So I was thinking Jazz tonight. We'll see the St Louis cemetery early," He sighed, "like I do when ever anyone from out of town visits." His grievance was weak and Raven didn't feel at all guilty about asking him to go with her. David sat down at the bar next to her. "We could eat some good Cajun food, and then head out to the Funky Butt." Raven's jaw dropped as she stared at him, sure she'd heard it wrong. David grinned. "The Funky Butt… you know down the street." Oh, Funky, she'd thought she heard something else.
"Sounds like a plan." Raven smiled but she couldn't help but think that if she were really dating David, he'd been a pretty good date for all the times they'd gone out. It would have been nice to have Tessa here, seeing and doing all these things with her. Tessa should have come.
"You two going out on your weekly non-date." Tony asked with a grin that showed he still considered this dating. "Or are you up to bi-weekly non-dating?"
Raven shook her head at the teasing and got up to go. David had his check now they needed to go to the bank. She was paying for today's non-date as Tony called it.
………………..
She didn't see Tony at work for about five days but the first words out of his mouth were, "So how was the cemetery?" as he moved to his side of the bar. They were both it for the night.
"Dead." Raven smiled as she poured a shot for their first customer of the night and handed it off to the man.
"Maybe you and David can go on a non-date to the tomato festival." Raven stopped wiping the counter to look at him, thinking for sure she'd misheard that.
"Tomato?"
"Yep, tomato." Tony smiled and moved towards her. "New Orleans likes any excuse to hold a festival and if they can't find a good one they'll just make stuff up."
"What do they do at a Tomato festival?" Raven felt herself grinning at the absurdity of it.
"They eat tomatoes."
"Okay." Raven turned to the sink. "That seems too wild for me. Maybe I'll just suggest a night of watching paint dry."
"Alrighty then." He smiled and turned to leave, but gave her one more parting shot. "But you'll be missing out on… Tomatoes."
"I think I'll live." A group of three men came in the door and Raven moved to take their orders. It would be a few more hours before things picked up.
Billy came in just as things were getting busy, but Raven nodded to him and pulled out a bottle of Billy's normal and set it on the counter as he stepped up to her. "Hey Billy. You ever been to this Tomato festival thing?" He gave her a confused look as he reached out for the bottle. "I hear it's all the rage."
"Ah, no." He smiled like he understood the joke and Raven smiled at him.
"Tony was telling me I should go."
"I'd take a trip on a riverboat, you'll have more fun. That tomato thing sounds stupid. I never even heard of it." He took a deep drink of his beer. "They have riverboats with music and dinner. Good for dating."
"Or non-dating." Tony's voice over her shoulder had Raven tensing up in shock. She hadn't even noticed him get close. Her heart hammered at being surprised but she gave Tony a tense smile and pretended he hadn't scared the shit out of her.
"Why don't you go mop up after some queers." Raven tossed over her shoulder and the ohhs, of joking from the nearby customers made it impossible to hear Billy well enough to talk to him. Billy just pointed that he'd be leaving to get a seat for the drag show and Raven moved to help someone else who had their hand up.
When things started to wind down Raven started to look around for Billy, ready to offer to make that call. She was surprised to not see him, he was normally among the people they had to actually kick out before closing. Maybe Billy was learning about moderation, or maybe Billy's boyfriend put down his foot on the late night drives to pick up his drunken boyfriend.
Not being Wednesday she was free to leave after clean up. David helped her by putting up the chairs even though as the security he didn't have to do that type of work. It meant she was ready to leave earlier than normal.
She locked the door and then started to walk with him towards the better lit part of the street, but a loud slam and a groan of pain had her turning to the side of the bar. In the shadows she saw a man kicking at something on the ground. "David." Her voice was commanding as she moved to the alley with David next to her.
"Hey!" David yelled out as they got close enough to see it was a man on the ground. Raven moved forward carefully and when the standing man turned to run she started to move after him.
"Call the cops, and an ambulance." David ordered her as he ran after the fleeing man. She'd been planning to do the chasing, but of course David didn't know she could fight.
Raven moved to the middle of the alley and looked down at the victim, taking in his bruised face and cuts that were bleeding into his hair. It was hard to see in the dark and the fact that she could told her in the light he'd look horrible. His eyes were closed and he wasn't responsive when she touched him to check for a pulse. He was alive though. "Oh Billy." Her voice cracked. She hated to leave him alone, but they did need an ambulance.
Once the call was made she went back out to the alley in time to see David kneeling by Billy and checking his pulse. "Bastard got away." David sounded out of breath. "This is Billy isn't it?"
"Yeah." Raven moved to rest a hand on David's shoulder. "Do we have a blanket or anything? I can't see him being comfortable like that. It's too cold."
"There might be one in the office. I'll go check." He stood up. "You'll be okay out here?"
"I'm fine." She gave him a weak smile. Once David left she found herself looking for any sign Billy had been more than beaten, but Billy's pants were still on. How sick was it that his just being kicked unconscious seemed like the better alternative to her? He might not even live. "Billy, you're gonna be okay. I called the ambulance and I'll call your boyfriend as soon as they get here. I won't leave you alone. You won't be alone." A tear trailed down her cheek at the idea of anyone hurting such a gentle man. She kneeled down next to him and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'll keep you safe." Her eyes moved to stare in the direction the attacker went, making sure he didn't come back.
It felt like it took hours, but that was probably the same sense of time that made every horrible moment in a person's life take an eternity. She was used to that slowing of time so that you could feel every ounce of pain, but staring down at Billy, and hearing his wheezing breath that made her worry about his lungs, it still amazed her that time was like this. He still wasn't conscious.
The ambulance took him and the rush made her feel out of touch with what was happening. David's hand on her shoulder was meant to comfort as well as make sure she wasn't in the way, but it didn't comfort. It just made her tense. The police came for their statements, and talked to the paramedics as well. Raven wanted to say let the men take care of Billy first, but at least even in the slow time she could see it was just a quick few questions.
"We'll need you to talk to a sketch artist." The officer was talking to David, who apparently did get a glimpse of the attacker. "And we need to finger print both of you, to rule you out of the finger prints we'll try to get off of the victim."
"Sure, anything we can do to help." Raven's body tensed a little more as David talked for her. Fingerprinting meant her time in New Orleans was over. There had to be a search running on the Mansion computers to see if she showed up and the Professor had her fingerprints on file. He'd see if someone ran them. How thorough was her Raven Tyler identity? Would this cause the police themselves to wonder?
Someone hurt Billy. This was someone that could be made to pay for their crimes, unlike the bastards that hurt her. Raven took a deep breath and nodded, agreeing to go to the station with the police. "I just need to make a call first. Billy's roommate needs to know why he isn't home." She wasn't stupid enough to out the victim, she'd seen too many cases where the police decided to not waste too much time on gays or mutants and if she was going to lose her new home and her friends she wanted this case to go all the way.
She was just starting to really like New Orleans. It just figured.
"I know this is a gay bar Ms. Tyler." The officer spoke softly. "And I still plan to get the man that attacked the victim. I'm a police officer, and that was a crime." Her back muscles relaxed and she nodded to him, understanding that she'd run into a good cop. "Go ahead and call his boyfriend and then I'll drive you both to the station."
Billy's boyfriend, Peter, cried. Raven stood rigidly trying not to cry for him as she told him what she knew and what hospital Billy was going to.
The trip to the police station was quiet. David seemed to think holding her hand was a good idea, and she didn't have the energy to pull it back. Raven stared at the streets they past.
They gave their statements again and their fingerprints were taken, along with some dna and hair. She didn't volunteer that hers was a wig, they'd figure it out soon enough. It sounded like the police were planning in case this became a murder investigation. Hopefully Billy would be strong enough to stop it from becoming that.
Dna. Great. So if her fingerprints didn't set the Mansion computers into fits, this would.
They were sat by a desk with a middle aged man as David started to describe the man he'd seen. David talked about the shape of his chin, and the style of his hair, and a picture started to form in Raven's mind. It wasn't the picture she saw developing on the sketch artists paper and David was getting a little frustrated as he tried to remember details that non-artists just didn't remember or notice.
"Can I have some paper." She interrupted the sketch artist and he looked a little irritated but he handed some over. Raven grabbed a pencil without asking and started on her own sketch. She could feel the men looking at her a little surprised, especially since she hadn't seen the attacker. She drew someone she had seen, someone with motive and someone with anger issues. Billy's ex-boyfriend started to fill the page just as she'd seen him that once in the bar.
"That's his chin." David's voice was closer, obviously looking over her shoulder. She hated that but she ignored it and kept drawing. Filling in the hair David described, but changing the eyes to what she'd remembered. "Yeah, yeah… like that." The sketch was rough, but David clearly recognized him.
"That's Billy's ex-boyfriend." Raven handed the picture to the sketch artist, and noticed his slightly impressed expression. "I heard he was violent, but I don't know his name. Maybe Peter does."
"You're good." The artist took the paper and stared at it. "Good detail."
"If I had to just hear what he was looking like it wouldn't be that great, but I saw him before." She was diplomatic, but really even just looking at the lines in the sketch the other man was making it was clear she was the better artist. "He tried to start a fight in the bar over Billy. He didn't understand that Billy had moved on and he wasn't his boyfriend anymore."
"I'll get this to the primary detective right away."
The police car dropped her off at home and Raven just sighed as it pulled away to take David the rest of the way. David deserved to know why she was leaving, but maybe she'd get lucky and not have to leave just yet. The police might need more information. She wanted to know if Billy ever woke up.
The next day Raven got dressed like normal and went in to work. Just another day. The fact that she'd made sure she knew every exit to her apartment and the bar that day didn't change that she'd taken money, filled orders, and smiled at lame jokes during her shift.
………………
The phone call came just as she was making breakfast.
"Hello?"
"Child it's time to move on." Irene's voice was firm. "Grab only what you really need and leave, the Xmen are already in New Orleans. Catch the Sunset Limited train to California and get off in Maricopa. I'll have a new identity sent to you and a bus ticket to your next stop."
Raven knew this day was coming. She just sighed. "Okay, do I have time to say goodbye to David?"
"He'll want you to answer questions and you don't have time to talk. Mail him the letter you most likely already wrote. I called you a cab."
"Okay." Raven wearily hung up the phone and moved to the closet. Only the things she'd brought with her needed to go. The clothes she bought, the kitchenware, and other things would be too many bags. She did grab the few pictures she and David had taken while out playing tourist. She left the apartment quickly once her cab got there.
Out the back window she could see a van drive up and she watched as her friends got out. She could see Logan sniffing the air and fought the urge to tell the cabbie to drive faster.
"How much do you think a train ticket costs?" She looked in her wallet and didn't like what she saw. "Nevermind, take me by a bank." She'd have to clean out Raven Tyler's account anyhow.
"What bank?"
He wouldn't know. Raven forced herself to calm down and think. She gave him directions to her bank, which was not far from her work. Maybe she could sneak in and drop off her keys and David's letter. She didn't want her co-workers to worry about her.
The bar was quiet when she went in. Raven put the letter on the bar and a note she'd made on register tape told her boss that she was sorry she couldn't give notice and that she'd loved working there with them, but she had to go. She also told him that she'd put the keys in the mail drop after she locked up. She took the picture of them all that was in the break room and stared at it a moment, wondering if she'd feel like this every time she had to run.
"Knew I'd find you here kid." The deep masculine voice was familiar and her body tensed.
"Logan." She said it as she was turning to see him. She was a little surprised to not see the others behind him.
"Storm and the others thought maybe Christy kidnapped you, or someone else."
"Christy's gone." Her fists clenched just a little as she went through her mental map of the bar and the exits. "She left in February."
"Why you running?"
Raven took a deep breath. "Everyone else can come and go as they please, but I can't? I told the Professor I wanted to go and he told me he couldn't let me." Even after all this time her heart ached over having to leave them all. "Just let me go Logan. I don't want to be an Xman anymore."
"Why?" He was also so brief in his questions.
"It doesn't matter, it's time for me to be free." Raven was always conscious of telling anyone too much, it was a habit drilled into her and one that she didn't feel comfortable putting away. "I just want to be free Logan. Let me go. You take time off, why can't I?"
"But you're not talking time off are you darlin'?" His voice was softer.
"No, no I'm not. It's over for me. I just want a normal life without the fights and the lies and the constant fear. I just wanted to live here and pour drinks, but I lost that now. The Professor told you to drag me back regardless of what I said didn't he?" She stared into his eyes. "How would you feel if it were you? If you tried to leave and were forced back?"
"Shame I didn't see you." Logan leaned against the bar. "I woulda liked to tell you good luck and that Xman or no, if you needed help you knew how to find me, but we didn't catch you. You left before we got here."
"Thank you Logan." Tears filled her eyes. "Thank you."
"I'm gonna go suggest we check out the train…" She tensed up and Logan smiled. "The airport to see if you ran there." He pulled out his wallet and walked up to the bar, setting something down. "A tip. Bartender here was cute." She just stood and watched him walk out the front door. She took a hesitant few steps to the bar and stared at the money he'd left for her. A hundred dollar bill stared back.
The train left just a little before noon and Raven sat in her window seat and sighed as New Orleans faded into the distance.