Chapter Twelve

They had to wait. They had to sit outside whilst the team inside struggled to keep their friend alive. They could only imagine what was happening behind the closed doors of the infirmary. They had heard muffle shouts penetrating the thick double doors as they sat quietly, shouts for cross matched blood, shouts for intubation trays…and then for a few moments nothing.

Then the whine of charging paddles; the shouted instruction.. "CLEAR!"…and again nothing…

"I can't stand this, I need to know what's happening!" Rodney stood and walked towards the double doors, his hand outstretched to push into the room, but he hesitated. "Actually, I probably don't want to know what they're doing in there do I.."

"Rodney, we are all worried, but there is nothing that we can do except wait here until Dr Keller informs us of Colonel Sheppard's condition.." Teyla knew how Rodney felt. The muffled noises that they could hear did not bode well for their friend, she herself could feel the pain and anguish sitting in the pit of her stomach like a dead weight as she guided Rodney back to the seat beside her, but at least John was now back in the city and amongst friends. Dr Keller was an excellent doctor, if a bit unsure of herself at the moment; but then having to replace Carson under such emotionally extreme circumstances had been very hard on her as well as everybody else in the city. She had fitted in as best as she could, taking control of the medical facility with a gentle hand rather than a firm one. The staff had appreciated her soft manner and had felt encouraged as she settled into her stride; she was a fine doctor, but had needed reassurance that she could be great as a boss as well.

"I'm not sure that he's going to get through this one…"Rodney stared at the floor as he put the anguish that he felt into words, "He looked really, really bad."

"He is strong Rodney, he is a fighter. We must remain hopeful that we returned in time and that Dr Keller will be able to help him.."

"I know Teyla, but you saw how much blood he had lost…I mean, there was so much of it, it was everywhere!" Rodney stood once more and paced towards the closed doors.

"McKay, sit.." Ronon stared at the scientist, his face impassive, "Sheppard's a fighter, he'll survive.."

"And when did you get to be so sure!" Rodney rounded on the Satedan, "You were there, you saw how weak he was and, .. and the blood, he was coughing up blood for goodness sake!" Rodney's voice dropped to a whisper as he finally sat down, "you saw it all just the same as I did…."

"Yeah, I saw it…" Ronon turned his head down towards the floor again, his eyes hidden from the others. He felt the anguish that they felt just as keenly, but he had learned over the years to hold in his emotions, to keep himself in check. These people were the closest thing to a family that he had experienced in a very long time and he felt their hurt deeply, but he kept it pulled inside away from prying eyes.

The doors to the infirmary opened and Dr Keller's face appeared, drawn and pale as she pulled the blood stained gloves from her fingers. She beckoned them through into the infirmary and preceded them as they moved across the room and towards her office. The infirmary was empty, but the debris spread across the floor told tales of the ferocious battle that had raged around one of the beds. The floor was littered with blood soaked dressings, strapping and discarded sterile wrappings. Rodney glanced at the empty bed and his heart sank further; there were signs that Sheppard had been there; the blood stained sheets and empty IV bags, but he was not there now.

Keller sat down heavily into her chair and rested her hands on the desk, waiting until the group settled before beginning. Just as she opened her mouth to start, the doors to the infirmary flew open and Elizabeth entered, looking around until she saw the group huddled into the small office in the corner, then joining then without a word but with a nod towards Dr Keller to continue.

"Okay, let's start by saying that he is still alive. We've got him in surgery right now and the surgical team are trying to repair the damage…." the collective sigh that the words generated brought a small, if slightly sad smile to her lips, "…but."

"Now why did I know that there would be a 'but' coming there.."

"Rodney!" Elizabeth threw a stern look towards the scientist and he mumbled an apology, "continue doctor.." Elizabeth gestured for Keller to continue.

"But….there are problems. Firstly, the bullet that struck him, nicked his left lung as it travelled through his chest, that's why he's been coughing up the blood that you saw. Secondly, because of the passage of the bullet, his chest has filled with fluid, which in turn has compressed his lung, so up until now he has in effect been trying to survive on half the oxygen that his body needs." She paused and drew in a deep breath before continuing, " ….and thirdly, the wounds have become infected – and his temperature is raging; that's one of the reasons why he started convulsing down in the gate room, his body just couldn't cope anymore."

"What can you do for him.." Elizabeth asked the question that was waiting on the lips of them all, "what are his chances…."

"Well, at the moment, as I said, he's in surgery. But he's a strong man and physically in excellent condition, so.. there is certainly hope, but we have to accept the fact that he's in a pretty bad way. The blood loss alone had caused his body to weaken to a dangerous level."

"And the damage to his lung?" Elizabeth's voice quaked slightly, "how bad was the damage to his lung.."

"Well, the trauma surgeons are working on him as we speak, so we'll probably know more when they finish up, but if we can repair the damage and get a chest drain in to get rid of the fluid that's built up, there's a good chance that his breathing will improve. As to the infection….that's another thing altogether, all we can do is try hitting it with a broad spectrum antibiotic while we test the bloods and hope that there's nothing totally foreign in there that we have no defence against."

"So, we wait then.." Rodney slumped in his chair, defeated and dejected.

"Yes Dr McKay, I'm afraid that for the time being, we can do no more. He's in the best possible hands; the team in there is the finest we have to offer, so from now on, it's up to the Colonel. We have to hope that his will to live is strong enough, because god knows his body has been through enough…"

"When will we know, you know.." Rodney watched Keller's expression soften as she answered the difficult question,

"Based on the way things were going when I left them prepping, I can't see them finishing up any time soon. You have to understand Dr McKay, the damage to the Colonel's body was severe – we lost him once whilst assessing him, so I would have to be cautious and say that we probably won't hear anything more for a few hours yet," she stood as she continued, "I'll let you know as soon as I know anymore, but for the time being, we all have to be patient and wait for the surgeons to finish their work."

"You'll let us know straight away if there's any news…"

"Yes Dr McKay, of course. Look, I'm as anxious as you all are right now, but he really is in the best of hands as I said and we have to just be patient and let the surgeons work." Keller moved towards the door, but turned back as the team stood to follow her out of the office, "He's a lucky man, to have such close friends…"

"He is a good man Doctor, we count ourselves as fortunate to have a friend and colleague like him." Elizabeth nodded to Keller as she left the office and turned back to the group, "There's nothing more we can do here, we should probably go; I'm sure Dr Keller will let us know if and when there is any more news."

"I'll wait here. Nowhere else I want to be right now." Ronon's voice left no doubt that he wouldn't be dissuaded from staying nearby, whatever anyone said.

"I will join you Ronon. I wish to be here if there is any further ….news." Teyla smiled at the Satedan and he nodded briefly.

"I'll stay as well. No use me getting started on anything in the labs, I won't be able to concentrate anyway with 'Captain Invincible' stuck in there," he indicated towards the operating theatre, "so I may as well be here too…"

Elizabeth knew that Rodney wouldn't want to be anywhere else, work not withstanding, and she smiled at her team. They were so passionate in their deep respect and friendship for each other; even Ronon, who had only joined the team relatively recently.

She understood why they felt as they did. John had a way of creeping under your skin. His easy going command style had proven to be highly successful and the soldiers under his command held him in high esteem and were incredibly loyal; he commanded without brashness and never asked anyone to attempt anything that he was not willing to undertake himself. He was selfless in his loyalty to his friends and had shown on more than one occasion that he was willing to sacrifice himself for their lives. She knew that there had been occasions when they had clashed from a command standpoint, but she also knew that she respected him for his passion – and that it had been his passion for the job that had created those situations in the first place.

"I'll stay too. I'm sure that there's nothing that can't wait for a while."

"Well, I suppose that means we'll have to get comfortable then…I don't think we're going to hear anything for a while." Rodney walked out of the office and picked up a chair from beside one of the beds in the main area of the infirmary, returning to the office and placed it against the wall. As the others looked at him he looked back indignantly, "Well, if we're going to be here a while, I for one intend to be comfortable for the duration.."

Teyla shook her head and smiled briefly, "Do not worry Rodney, we will obtain our own seating."

"What, oh…." Rodney realised what she meant and half rose up.

"No, don't you move McKay.." Ronon looked at the disgruntled scientist and walked out into the room, gathering two further chairs as he moved and returning to place them next to the desk in the office.

"Well I…." Rodney blustered, but the raised eyebrows stifled his response and he sat, crossing his arms.

"Do not worry Rodney…" Teyla could see that the scientist was flustered.

"I'm not worried, well not worried about, …DAMN IT Sheppard, why do you have to do this to us again!"

"He will survive Rodney. Have faith, he is in the best of care now, we did everything that we could, we could not have done more."

Rodney's eyes dropped to the floor, "I should know that Teyla, and that's what worries me the most. Did we leave him inside that silo for too long, ..could we have done anything differently?"

"There was no way that any of you could have known how badly injured he was Rodney," Elizabeth's voice carried strength as she reassured the fretful man, "and from what I have heard, if any of you had attempted to access the building, your element of surprise would have been lost and you may well have failed to gain his release and possibly ended up as prisoners yourselves."

"We did the right thing McKay and we got him out." Ronon's voice cut through the doubt that had descended on the group, "He's only in there now because we waited and used the only weapon we had – surprise, that's all we could do and we did it."

"We did didn't we, but I just hope that we were quick enough that's all."

"Time will tell Rodney, we can do nothing now until Dr Keller tells us more, so we have to be patient."

"I know you're right Teyla, but patience isn't one of my…um, you know…"

"I know Rodney, but until Dr Keller returns, we must wait, however hard it is…."