500 Miles Hellfire 2
By Princess Alexandria
Raven felt like hell as she parked her car at the brothel. She even considered calling in sick and telling Lois, by the way I'm quitting, consider this my notice, but the woman deserved more than that.
Drahke also deserved to hear it from her first and not as an announcement that they'd be advertising for a new floor maid. Drahke was working for the entire week. It seemed like wasted time to Raven, time they couldn't be together.
She did love Drahke. Not like she'd loved Tessa and she couldn't love anyone like she loved Christy, but Drahke was special and she deserved a lover that wasn't on the run. It was a shame she couldn't be that.
She came into the brothel and passed the parlor, looking to see if Drahke was there, but she wasn't. With a heavy sigh she made her way to the office, where she found Jonathan working quietly. She didn't bother him as she grabbed the log to see that Drahke had been picked in a lineup about twenty minutes ago and from what he ordered it would probably be a little while before Raven's lover was free.
Part of her wanted to just storm down the hall and yank him out of there. She put the book down on the desk again a bit harder than necessary and ignored the old man's questioning look. Drahke had to hear it first. Raven barely glanced at the book she was supposed to read when she got into work, barely taking note of how business had been that day.
The buzzer signaled her time to think was gone. Raven just nodded to Jonathan and turned to get the door. She barely glanced at the monitor before opening the door and letting him in.
She blamed her distraction and cursed herself once a large man in dirty jeans and a partly unbuttoned shirt walked in a little unsteadily and yelled out, "Bring me the Whores!"
The women didn't move and Raven's back stiffened up as she glared at him. She was supposed to screen the men for obvious drunken behavior and keep them out. She'd fucked up and he was in causing a scene. He started to make a move towards Lace and Raven stepped into his way. "You are obviously drunk. You will have to leave."
His eyes narrowed at her. "I came for whores." His voice rose again with that damned word, none of the prostitutes like its, "I'm here for WHORES." She heard the growl but didn't pay attention to the fact that it was hers. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she stepped closer to him.
"You will leave now or you will be tossed out." Her fists clenched, pissed at men like this and herself for not seeing this mess coming.
"Little lady like you," He shook his head, "Listen sister…"
Sister, little sister… Another more feminine voice echoed in her head for a moment and this time she grabbed the anger and not the fear it invoked. Raven reached out and grabbed his hand, bending it back painfully in a hold Logan had taught her once when they were out at a bar. He always liked such rough bars, and the men there never knew how to treat a woman with respect. "I can break it easily." Her voice was cold as she told him that, while watching with some satisfaction as his knees started to bend.
"Bitch." He tried to swing backwards, but he couldn't reach her. Raven looked up at a few shocked looking prostitutes.
"Door." She stared at Lace as she said that and the woman moved carefully around her and the flaying and cursing man to open it. Raven increased the pressure on his arm and pushed toward the door.
"Move or I'll make you wish you had." She spoke between gritted teeth. She could hear the heavy footsteps of the bartender coming their way. This physical stuff was supposed to be taken care of by the men. Raven gave a feral smile as she braced herself and put her foot on the man's ass, kicking him out the door and actually getting good distance with him. "You are no longer welcome here." She told him as he worked to stand up. He found his wrist wasn't much help in that, it would take a while for it to heal from the strain she put on it. Raven slammed the door with a curse. "Fucking assholes. Should have kicked him harder. I'm so sick and tired of men that think they can…"
"Raven." A voice broke her tirade. Raven looked up to see Lois staring at her and the other women were starting to grin, a few laughed a little.
"My god Lois. I didn't know you hired a wrestler to play floor maid." Ebony spoke.
"Did you see how she had him hopping around so she didn't break his arm?" Another woman sounded impressed.
Raven straighten up and sighed. "I'm sorry I let him in." She told the women in the parlor. She glanced at the monitor and was grateful to see him walking away.
"That's fine Rambo, you took care of it." Jewel teased her.
"Yes you did." Lois' voice reminded Raven the woman was there. Raven could see the measuring look she was getting from the older woman. "Can I talk with you in the office?"
"Oh, don't get her in trouble for that." Someone called out in her defense.
Once they were alone Lois shook her head. "Irene told me you used to be a superhero, but I didn't really believe her. You really handled that man." Lois finally smiled just a bit, but it faded, "but why didn't you catch he was drunk before he got in?"
Raven sighed. "I was distracted. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, learn from it. We all do it at least once. I found myself opening the door to an obvious kid once, had to tell him to take off we don't serve that young. Must have been his first solo drive in the car." Lois' stance softened. "Why are you distracted? Can I ask?"
"I have to give my notice." Raven had to give up telling Drahke first. She could see Lois was disappointed, but covered it quickly.
"Well, most of our employees are rather temporary. I guess I'd been hoping Irene would forget she gave you to me. You did good here Raven, better than I really thought you would when I met you." Raven was a little surprised when Lois stepped closer and hugged her. "You ever need a job in the future you have one. I'd take you back in a second."
"Thank you." Maybe when she was free to live where she wanted she'd come back. "Can you not tell anyone just yet?"
"Ah yes, Drahke." Lois' voice was soft and sympathetic. "You did tell her a little about your situation?"
"Yeah, she knew I'd have to go at some point."
"I heard her bragging once to the others that she had a lover that understood the job. She wasn't giving out names, but you made her happy." Lois sat back down in her chair and gave Raven an encouraging look. "So many of the girls aren't lucky in love that way."
"This just sucks." Raven stared at the ground and tried to compose herself. This was hurting almost as bad as leaving New York had.
"I'll let you work back here a while. I'll cover the door." Lois stood up. "Should I send her back when she's available?"
"Yeah."
"I heard someone really got in touch with her inner Mistress all over some drunk bastard." A familiar and teasing voice was at the door about forty minutes later. "The girls are impressed. I wanted to yell that you were already taken." It must have showed on Raven's face, because Drahke's smile faded and she stepped in, closing the door behind her right away. "Are you okay?"
"I got that call." Was all Raven could say, and she watched the understanding come to Drahke's eyes.
"Oh, when?"
"Two weeks."
Drahke moved forward and hugged Raven even though Raven was sitting, holding her. When the buzzer went off Raven felt abandoned for just a moment, before she notice Drahke wasn't answering it. "I can miss a few line ups." Drahke caressed her hair. "I knew we weren't long term when we started, but it's been much nicer than I expected." Raven looked up and saw Drahke's eyes were glassy. She stood up and pulled the woman into her arms.
"I'm so sorry."
"No, no." Drahke's voice softened. "I knew you couldn't stay. You never lied to me about that. I thought you were worth it, and you were. I've never had a sweeter lover." Drahke kissed her and Raven found her body answering with passion, pulling Drahke closer. "Oh baby, not here." Drahke pulled away gently. "Not here. I don't want to sully it by doing it here." Drahke caressed her hair and Raven blushed, but leaned into the touch. "Of course you'd finally want me when I'm trapped here."
"I always wanted…" Raven felt a bit stunned that Drahke wouldn't know that.
"No I understand." Drahke smiled, "but you weren't ready. Are you now?"
Raven's eyes stared into Drahke. "I don't want to go without ever…" She looked away, "Drahke."
"It's okay." Drahke kissed her gently. "Two weeks. I'll call Heather and cancel my appointments for next week and we'll make the best of the time we have." Raven tensed a little. "Even if that's cuddling and watching movies. Finish up your commissions this week, because I only have you for one more week and I plan to make it count."
……………………..
The place really did look like a mansion, Raven thought again as she got out of the car. The leather made a bit of noise as she walked toward the door. A man nodded to her subtly as she passed him and Raven barely acknowledged him. It had seemed rude in the beginning, but she was getting used to it.
She walked with a long stride down the hall and then up the stairs. Her eyes stayed on her destination. When a submissive walked into her path he asked permission to pass. It seemed like a time waster, but she just nodded and didn't bother speaking to him. Finally she made it to Lady Heather's office and she reached out to open the door.
Voices surprised her. "And I assure you officer the only sex that happens on these premises is in the rooms I rent to couples. We are not violating our permits." There was a pause and Lady Heather spoke again, "Satisfaction comes in many different forms officer, not all releases are sexual." Raven closed the door and moved a few steps away. Lady Heather had a fight on her hands.
The submissive with the tray was coming her way and Raven made a decision she probably would get talked to about. "Slave." She hated saying that, which was why she rarely talked to the submissives. She took a long stride toward the girl. "I'll take that." She looked at the tray in the girl's hand. Whoever went in that room right now might get interrogated and this submissive seemed nice enough, but Raven had never heard her say enough to tell if she had a brain.
"That is Lady Heather's snack." The girl sounded a bit concerned with the odd behavior. Raven smiled reassuringly at her.
"I know, and I'll take it to her." If Lady Heather weren't diabetic she'd say it could wait, but the Lady might have ordered this for a reason. Raven stood taller when that didn't send the submissive away. "You are dismissed." She commanded and watched as the girl bowed to her and turned to leave.
Raven knocked on the door this time and waited to be invited in. "I've brought your snack Mistress." Raven spoke as she entered the room, keeping her eyes down a little, but taking in the officer in the chair across from Heather easily. He seemed a bit uptight about being there.
"Thank you Raven." Lady Heather motioned that Raven could put it on the desk. Raven looked up into Heather's eyes.
"You work here?" The man spoke to her brusquely. Raven continued looking at Lady Heather, waiting for permission to talk and noticed the slight hint of a smile on Heather's face when she did that.
"You can answer the man Raven."
Raven turned to look at him and noticed her snub had irritated him. Well it was childish, but she didn't like the disrespect he was showing Lady Heather. Her eyes traveled to the mostly done painting she'd come to work on in the corner and then back at him. "Yes."
"What do you do here?" He looked at her like she was a mutant and he didn't even know. Apparently the Dominant submissive thing made no sense to him.
"I walk around in leather, treat people rudely, and make people stay in the same position for a long time, until they ask for mercy." She gave him a slight smile.
"Do you ever touch any of the clients in a sexual way?" His eyes stared at her like he'd love to attack.
She did touch Lady Heather, but it wasn't sexual she just needed to readjust her pose. "I don't need to."
"Is that all you had to ask officer?" Lady Heather took back control of the conversation. She didn't dismiss Raven so Raven moved to stand at Heather's right side and looked down like a proper submissive. He fidgeted. She'd picked the right role to make him want to leave. Apparently he must have nodded or something because Raven next heard, "Raven will you escort him out please?"
"Yes Mistress."
As she walked him out she noticed his disgusted expression as he looked around. She answered a few other questions that showed he was trying to get her to say she did touch the clients.
"I have never touched anyone here more than moving an arm or leg into position." She told him as she stood holding the door opened for him to leave. "Goodbye." She smiled falsely while closing the door and then moved to be able to see out the blinds and make sure he didn't try to sneak around the back. He got in an unmarked car and drove away.
"You don't need to." Lady Heather's voice had Raven straightening up in surprise. The woman put her hand on Raven's shoulder. "That was a good line."
"Do you get that often?" Raven turned to face the woman.
"Occasionally a man will hear about us and take offense to the idea of Dominant women and come to prove to himself that we are merely prostitutes. It is more inconvenient when that man has a badge." Heather motioned for Raven to follow. "That was the result of a wife that didn't take the news her husband visited here four times last month very well. That is one reason I encourage our clients to be honest with their loved ones about their needs, and tell then that we do hold classes for couples."
"Classes?" She'd never seen that.
"Friday afternoon." Lady Heather held the office door opened for her. "Are you interested in attending?"
Raven was curious but, "I came to tell you that I need to finish your painting. I've got to leave soon."
"Leave," Lady Heather sighed. "as in move on. I wondered how much longer we'd have you. That explains why Drahke called me from the Brothel, she never does that. She never takes time off either."
Lady Heather sat and worked while Raven painted the background. The subject was already done. "I'm going to miss this."
"Sitting and watching me work?"
"Painting." Raven smiled, "and sitting and watching you work."
"Why would you miss it?"
Raven pulled her brush away from the canvas with a sigh. "I can't carry more than three bags wherever I go. Nothing more. I can't own anything, and the thought of just leaving my paintings behind, I can't do that."
Lady Heather was quiet for a moment. "You could ship them to me. I'd be willing to store your work until you can stop running." Raven looked into intelligent eyes. "Again, no one would believe you'd be sending your art to a club like this. You shouldn't have to give up something you love so much, that gives you such strength."
Raven just stared for a moment, "But I can't tell you where I am."
"Send them on your way out of wherever you end up. I know Drahke and I would like to get regular proof you are well. Label them all Leather or Bondage." Lady Heather lightened the mood.
Raven considered it. One way mail. She'd never be able to get mail back, but she'd have to come back to Vegas someday. "Okay." She'd need to go through her three bags again, but she'd bring some of her art supplies when she left, the more expensive things.
"Good." Lady Heather nodded at her. "I should let you get back to work. You might need the commission when you leave."
Raven paused and looked down a little shyly. "I would have done this for you for free."
"No you wouldn't have, not then." Lady Heather smiled. "But I understand. Thank you." Heather paused. "You do know that you would have never posed as my submissive then either. I'm proud of you, you've come a long way." Raven smiled, seeing the truth in Heather's words. It hadn't even hurt to pretend.
……………
Raven stared at her closet, wondering what she could wear. Drahke was going to pick her up and take her out to dinner and dancing. Raven stared at more business attire that wouldn't fit on a dance floor. Her jeans and tshirts weren't nice enough for a date. It was the second date this week, but these had to be memorable. Raven reached into the closet and pulled out her leather pants. She went through every shirt before she settled on a white flowing silk button up shirt, which she tucked in and left unbuttoned as far down as her modesty could handle. After a moment staring at her reflection she pulled the shirt back out of her pants and unbuttoned some of the bottom buttons as well, exposing some of her abs. Drahke liked that.
She stood a little nervously in front of the mirror for a moment, before she decided to just go with it. These were the best clothes she had for this.
The music was loud. Raven found her hand captured by a smiling Drahke and she was pulled past the bar and right onto the dance floor. Dinner had been nice, but Drahke had been very eager to get Raven to this club.
Looking around Raven was a relieved to see a few other same sex couples dancing and her tense back started to relax as she stopped worrying about having to fight some Neanderthal man that had an issue with Raven getting such a pretty girl. Raven smiled a little as Drahke pulled her closer to dance, rubbing against Raven seductively as she swayed to the music.
After dancing it was pretty late. Raven was surprised when Drahke pulled up to an apartment building that she'd rarely been to instead of taking them to Raven's place. "My place was closer." Drahke explained as she shut the car off. Raven just smiled a little and dismissed the strange feeling of discomfort she had at going to an unfamiliar place. Drahke always came to her place after all, so it was fair for Raven to have to go to hers.
Drahke's place was nice, small but nice. Raven wandered over to the entertainment center and the pictures on it. She smiled when she recognized one they'd taken together at the Brothel. Drahke actually had a picture of her in her home. Somehow that said more than the words of affection Drahke gave her. Raven's eyes teared up a bit, hating that she had to leave this love behind. Did it tear Tessa up like this to leave her for a mission? But that was a mission and Raven was running for her freedom, or in the case of the Hellfire club following her, her life. Part of her wanted to say screw it and just stay, but the cost of getting caught was too high.
"No no." Drahke took the picture out of Raven's hand and put it back down. "I worked so hard to seduce you, don't get all depressed on me." Drahke gave her a small smile and used her thumb to caress Raven's collar bone. Raven did her best to push away her negative emotions and pull the earlier good feelings back to her. "This is what always happens," Drahke wrapped her arms around Raven's waist from behind her as they both looked at the picture. "and I want you to relax. Don't think of the past or the future, just be with me in the now."
"You a telepath now?" Raven asked, weakly teasing.
"No, but Lady Heather has rubbed off on me."
Drahke took Raven's hand and started walking backwards, with a seductive smile. "My bedroom is this way, unless you prefer the couch?" Raven felt a bit of fear and Drahke's smile faded. "No pressure. You tell me to stop and I will."
"I don't want to stop." Raven reached out and caressed Drahke's arm. Raven was determined that she wasn't going to pull back tonight. She was going to get over it and be with the woman who'd been so patient with her if she had to force herself past this initial reaction that seemed to always hit her when they started toward the bedroom. She was not going to just cuddle tonight, not again. She wasn't going to look into understanding eyes as she once again pulled away.
Her breath was coming in long gasps as Drahke unbuttoned her shirt for her and slowly lowered the silk shirt off her body. Every gasp she made echoed in her sex as Drahke caressed her pale skin before undoing the clasp on her bra and lowering that as well. Raven didn't speak, didn't move, as Drahke reached around her from behind and unbuttoned the fly of her leather pants. "My Lady Raven." Drahke whispered into her ear before kissing her shoulder tenderly. "Sit so I can get your shoes off." The words were a cross between an order and a request.
Seeing a woman on her knees removing her shoes was familiar, but this time the woman on her knees was free to show her affection in her expression and did. There were no witnesses to this giving, and Raven could tell that was what it was. Her girlfriend was a Mistress, yet she was on her knees. Something about that caused such a tender overwhelming feeling in her heart as Raven watched her second shoe being removed. Mistresses don't kneel and don't use their mouths. All things she'd learned while being degraded herself. Maybe that was why she found it comforting to see Drahke doing those things. Drahke kissed her ankle and then motioned for Raven to stand back up.
"Leather is sexy as hell, but it sure isn't easy to take off fast." Drahke smiled as she lowered the zipper on Raven's pants. Raven stood passively and let her. Her hand moved to caress Drahke's hair as Drahke kneeled again and worked the pants off her feet. Drahke's face was level with Raven's sex and Raven could feel her breath on her.
"Please." Raven whispered as her hand gripped Drahke's hair a little more tightly, imagining pulling Drahke's face to her, but unwilling to actually do it. Consent was very important to her. She didn't want to in any way force Drahke to do something she didn't want to do. Drahke slowly proved she was willing as she leaned into Raven and kissed her sex, her throbbing needing sex.
"See, you're in control." Drahke spoke gently while looking up at her. "YOU are in control." The dark haired woman leaned into her again and Raven couldn't stop her whimper. Drahke seemed to worship Raven with her mouth, she took Raven to the edge and helped her lay down before taking her over it.
Drahke crawled up Raven's body after Raven fell back on the bed panting. "I love how you sound when you come. The little pleadings you mutter, the way you respond." Raven felt her tears falling from the corner of her eyes across her skin. She had responded. Part of her was sure she wouldn't be able to, that Selene and the others had ruined her. "I love that you trusted me this much." Raven rolled over to curl up against Drahke's side while Drahke continued to speak softly, lovingly, to her.
Raven used an arm to push herself up and look down at Drahke. "Can I?" Raven touched the edge of Drahke's shirt, wanting to take the woman's clothes off.
"Anything you want baby." Drahke smiled and put her hands up above her head in a clearly submissive way, almost as if there were invisible bonds holding her there. "Only if you want to."
"Oh I do." Raven gave Drahke a slightly wicked smile as she moved to unbutton the shirt and remove the bra so she could kiss Drahke's breasts, to gently suckle on them. She made love to Drahke slowly, the way Christy had wanted to make love to Emma that first time and wasn't allowed to. Raven cherished the catch in Drahke's breath and the way she made little noises that let Raven know she liked what Raven was doing, she liked that she could hear Drahke when she came.
…………..
Drahke took a sip from her wine glass, the dinner plates still sat on the table. "I've saved up a decent amount." Drahke glanced around her apartment. "I just don't buy much. I'll probably be able to start my own Brothel in a few more years."
"I'm sure you will." Raven smiled at Drahke and the familiar conversations. They talked about the art Drahke wanted Raven to do for her, things she'd like in the Brothel's parlor, her office. It sounded like they had a future, but it was all words and the sadness in Drahke's eyes showed she knew it too. For a little while they pretended that Raven would be there when Drahke's dream came true.
Raven decided that she would paint for Drahke after she left. She'd send her a painting for her Brothel that would rival the work she'd done for Lady Heather. It wasn't like she wouldn't remember every curve of her lover's body for a long time to come. Her work with Tessa when they used to train together and Raven's art made her very good at visualizing details like that without needing the model all the time.
They moved to the couch and Raven leaned on Drahke as they watched tv for a little while, more interested in the heartbeat under her head than the dialogue on the screen. When a commercial started to play Drahke caressed her hair. "Let's just go to bed." Drahke whispered into her hair and Raven didn't feel any nervousness at the idea anymore. They'd been having sex for a few days now and each time they did it was a little easier than the last. Raven couldn't help panicking at times, but Drahke helped her through it tenderly.
………………
The knock on the door was a surprise and Raven looked through the window before opening it to the UPS man. The large box sitting on the ground was confusing, but she just signed for it and pulled it inside. She had to turn the stove down on breakfast before moving back to the box. Irene's familiar scrawl made Raven relax.
She could hear the shower and knew that Drahke was just stepping into the water. "What are you up to now Irene?" Raven spoke quietly, still partly convinced that Irene would hear her somehow. The bag dangled from her hand after she'd pulled it out. Raven set it down and reached in for another, larger bag, which felt a little too heavy. She opened it to find an envelope and yet another piece of luggage. Irene had sent her three pieces of luggage. Raven glanced through her bedroom door at the mostly packed set she already had, then back at the new black set.
The letter was hand written, somehow. Raven just shook her head at yet more evidence that Irene wasn't nearly as blind as she appeared.
Dear Raven,
I enclosed a key to a safety deposit box. On your way out on Friday stop by the bank on the tag and pick up your new identity and plane tickets. I know you are puzzled by the luggage, but it will be pretty self explanatory very soon.
I want you to know your words of support were very welcome. I appreciate your willingness to listen, and I'm sorry that I burdened you with my problems. I've set up an apprentice of sorts with my work for the next ten years, all behind Mystique's back so please don't mention it to her yet. I'll let her know about this myself in the future. I tell you this just to let you know I've arranged to take care of you, that you'll still get letters from me even after I'm gone. I spend a lot of time writing lately, so don't be too disappointed if the letters after I die are rather short and to the point. I don't have nearly enough time to tell you each and every time how much I am proud of you, so I'll just do it now. I'm proud of you child, and I'll be proud of you ten years from now, even twenty, but you'll not be getting letters then. Your strength is an inspiration. I had worked hard on setting up a good situation for you in Vegas, but really, if it weren't for your trust and your strength, I might have done more harm than good.
You inspire this old woman child. Don't ever stop living life to the fullest, you miss it when it's gone.
Oh look at me, getting all dark and depressed again. Nevermind me.
I know you want to spend all your time with your pretty young woman, and yes I do know you are spending some very quality time with her, but perhaps you should get out of the apartment for a little while if just to give your body a rest.
Raven just chuckled at Irene writing to tease her about Drahke, but her eyes were a little glassy as she finished reading the letter. Irene really would have been a wonderful mother to have. Rogue didn't know how lucky she was. Raven put the luggage in the corner and went back to making breakfast while trying to figure out what the luggage meant. Was Drahke supposed to leave with her? Raven hoped not, because as nice as it would be to not be alone, Drahke had such big dreams and Raven didn't want to take them away from her.
…………………..
"I need to go." Drahke told her again while kissing her. "The girls want to throw you a party and I'm supposed to get some things since I'm not working." Drahke gave Raven a small grin. "Act surprised and don't kick them for making me leave you alone all afternoon. I'm taking you back to the Brothel after dinner, and I'm supposed to claim I'm dropping off something for Lacey."
"A party." Raven sighed. She did have friends there, but she didn't feel up to a party. She'd rather spend that time with Drahke, or Drahke and Heather. She was closer to them.
"The turn around on Madams and other staff is high." Drahke caressed her cheek. "You should be honored. We don't complain this much when the others leave. You might have come to us scared and shaking, but you'll be missed and the girls just want to make sure you know that."
"Okay." Raven sighed. "Oh, I like chocolate cake."
"You assume you'll warrant a cake." Drahke winked at her and got in the car.
"And I wasn't shaking." Raven called out as Drahke started to pull out, grinning at her lover. She couldn't say she hadn't been scared.
"Hey Raven." Terrance's voice had Raven turning away from watching Drahke drive away with a stupid soft smile on her face to see the boy standing a little shyly near the stairs. Raven hadn't seen as much of him as she thought she would lately.
She had to tell him she was moving. She stared at him a moment, suddenly seeing another problem with that. She was looking out for him, but when she left who would? He didn't even realize the little things she did to make sure he wasn't put on the streets. She checked on him subtly. "Terrance," Raven glanced at her watch. "Want to go get lunch?"
Raven would have to send a thank you to Lois for giving her this week off. The older woman knew that Drahke and Raven needed this time, and Raven hadn't felt this good in a long time. Maybe she'd pick up a thank you card today before the surprise party.
"I don't know." He glanced toward his apartment nervously and Raven felt uneasy with the fear in his body language. "Just a little while?" Raven was willing to bet he was grounded.
While watching Terrance talk during lunch Raven couldn't help but think about Bobby. The boy reminded her of when Bobby was younger, not that he grew up all that much in the years they knew each other, but in the beginning Bobby had a nervous quality to his teasing. It just made Raven more protective over Bobby, and now it looked like she was transferring that a bit to Terrance.
Lunch was almost over and she still hadn't told him she was moving away. The boy had been rather reclusive lately, and really this was the first chance she'd had to tell him. Raven would have knocked on his door if she hadn't seen him today, instead of just disappearing on him.
They walked out of the restaurant and Raven smiled when she noticed the older man strumming on a guitar near a fountain. His voice was a little off, but he looked happy as he sang and people slowed down to listen.
A song started up strongly and Raven gave Terrance a teasing grimace as talking normally became difficult over the sound, but her half smile faded when she watched Terrance go suddenly pale.
The boy's hands shook and when his hands started to glow in swirls of purple. Mutating, the boy was mutating. "We need to…" She spoke quickly while reaching out for his arm and hoping whatever was happening wouldn't hurt either of them.
"AHH…" Terrance's scream was loud and painful and suddenly darkness shot out of his hands and Raven jerked to the side to avoid getting hit.
Her eyes were wide as she watched a scene develop, partly transparent the singing man suddenly had a younger double. The man's voice faded in shock at the scene shaping into him and a woman laughing on a riverbed, and when the music stopped so did the illusion. "How did…"
She turned to give a pale and terrified Terrance a warning look, begging with her eyes for him to play along. "We need to get out of here." She spoke quietly to him.
"Oh my god," His voice cracked and he was clearly panicking. Raven reached out and grabbed his arm, while noticing the glow to his hands had faded.
"We need to go." Her voice was commanding and she grabbed her bag with her other hand while dragging him along with her to the car. They had seconds before…
"MUTANT!" The music man screamed and Raven started to drag Terrance along with her faster.
"Get in the car." She called out to him as she raced for the car and unlocked it. "Lets go, lets go!" She spoke a little louder, trying to get through his shock. She didn't even wait for him to finish closing his door before starting to drive, but he had it closed before they got out of the parking lot.
"Terrance," She tried for soothing, but it came out a bit harsh. She made an effort to soften her voice some more. "you're a mutant."
"Yes." He seemed to be trying to sit on his hands.
"So am I." She remembered the type of fear he'd be feeling now, the panic and confusion. She didn't want him also thinking she'd attack him for it. "What did you do?"
He looked so scared, his eyes pleading with her to make it okay. "I've never done that before. When people sing, sometimes I see things, but I've never done that."
Raven zipped in front of a car and turned onto a different street while checking to see no one was following. She wasn't going to drive right back to the apartment until she knew it was safe. "What do you see?" She asked, her voice calmer than she felt. If things got ugly she wasn't the best mutant to face it. The other Xmen were better prepared, more powerful. She had no backup and a frightened boy.
"I don't know. When you sang I saw you running and laughing while a redhead chased you and things seemed to fly at you."
Raven's eyebrows drew together as she tried to make sense of that. She barely remembered singing around him, and for his power to work on her it wasn't telepathy. "I need more detail than that." Redhead could be Jean, but the rest didn't make sense. Why would he see Jean?
"You looked younger and were wearing a weird jumpsuit." Her uniform. The guitar man looked at least ten years younger in that illusion.
"Could you be seeing the past?" Raven asked and glanced over at him. "Is it only when people sing?"
"What does it matter? My dad is gonna kill me." His shoulders slumped.
……………
The next morning Raven pulled Drahke into a desperate kiss while her luggage sat on the sidewalk. She ignored anyone that might be watching. "I'm so sorry." She whispered into Drahke's hair.
"I'm not." Drahke hugged her tight. "I'm not at all. You be careful."
"I will." The trunk slammed shut and Raven glanced over at the nervous looking boy as he picked up one of his bags and started towards them a little nervously. Drahke didn't follow them in and Raven couldn't resist looking back one more time to see Drahke just watching her leave.
"Last chance to change your mind." She spoke softly, feeling very old.
"I don't have anywhere else to go." Terrance stared at his own hands, which looked normal now.
"Well Terrance, I hope you like California." She sighed. Now she'd condemned someone else to this life on the run.
"You didn't tell her where we're going."
"It's not safe to tell people." Raven stared into his eyes, hoping he'd understand the seriousness. "You'll never know where we're going until we're already moving out."
Irene's box of luggage made more sense when the news reported the mutant in the area, complete with a halfway decent sketch of Terrance on the six o'clock news. Raven had a partner now, because she wouldn't send him to the Professor, and she couldn't trust the boy's father to keep him before, he'd never keep Terrance now, not with the boy's power starting to go out of control and grow. She was going to have to teach him how to use his powers and how to keep them from taking over when people sang. If she could just teach him that he might have a chance to survive.
………………..
Raven looked at the painting one more time, before pushing it into the large box. It had taken her months to finish it since her life had been unbelievably busy with a teenager to train, and that and some other things had kept her from painting for far too long. She'd taken huge risks having it mailed to her future homes twice as she was forced to move, but it was done. Drahke stared back from the large canvas. She'd mail it off to Drahke when they got the next call to move.
Raven rolled her shoulders and walked out of the garage to take a deep breath of the early spring air. She pulled the sleeves of her long sleeve shirt down over her wrists after they'd ridden up. Vancouver Canada was really very pretty in the spring.
The mail man pulled up and opened her mailbox. Raven just waited, watching as he put the mail in. When she pulled it out a few minutes later she noticed Irene's familiar handwriting and smiled.
She opened it after she set the other mail on the table and the shakiness of the writing inside concerned her.
Dear, Dear Raven,
I love you child, don't ever forget it.
By now I should have died on a mission. Since I was going anyway I decided to take the chance to save my lover. I'm sorry to leave you a letter like this, especially after I told you how rude it was to do so. A letter just doesn't capture everything I want to say about how you've brightened my last months.
I'm sorry to give you such news and then ask for something, but I have a favor to ask of you…
Raven read on, tears streaming down her face, the words blurred.
Three days later Raven stood on the deck of the cruise ship unseen as she watched a familiar woman in an unfamiliar form toss ashes into the ocean. Raven stared as the ash floated in the air, horrified that a life could be reduced to that. She didn't even notice the other woman turn or her eyes narrow.
"What are you doing here?" Mystique's voice was cold and Raven's eyes focused to see the tear marks on Mystique's cheeks, but her expression was guarded.
"I loved her too." Raven took a shuddering breath, "not like you do, but I loved her." In the past year she'd only spent a little time with Mystique. It was always Irene calling her. Irene would never call her again. Large tears started to roll down her cheeks as she looked away from Mystique and back at the water. It was no surprise that Mystique didn't stay to talk. Raven let her walk away. She'd been asked to be here for Mystique, but Raven wouldn't intrude on the woman's grief. If Mystique wanted her, she knew Raven was on board.
Somehow Raven expected to spend this entire cruise alone. Irene had to know it was too soon, and that Mystique had no intention of talking about her pain. Raven stepped into her cabin and closed it with a sigh. She spent a good deal of time in there drawing the woman that had just died.
When her stomach grumbled Raven cleaned the charcoal off her hands and left for dinner.
"She wrote you?" A hissed question in her ear caused Raven's body to tense in shock. She hadn't thought she'd let her guard down so badly someone could sneak up on her. "She had to have. I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I followed her instructions to the letter."
Raven's shoulder's slumped a little and she didn't bother turning to see what form Mystique was taking now. Hopefully this wouldn't descend into an argument. Her dinner was only half eaten but Raven had been paying more attention to her wine anyhow. "I got the letter a few days ago." Raven tilted the last of her third glass into her mouth, savoring the excuse to not talk, even if it wasn't how you were supposed to drink wine.
"Irene told you that drinking like this would kill you." Mystique's voice softened. "You promised her you'd stop."
Raven's smile was humorless. She almost said that if Irene wanted to hold her to that promise she should have stayed alive, but she stopped the bitter, hurt words from coming out. "I wasn't exactly well then was I?" She said instead, bringing up something that she rarely wanted to talk about. "Still, I was pretty surprised that an old woman was able to kick my ass."
Mystique moved to take the seat across from her, pouring herself the rest of the wine from the bottle Raven had bought. That was one way to keep Raven from drinking it. "A five year old would have been able to lay you low." Mystique let out a deep breath. "I hadn't seen Irene that scared in a while. You're lucky she didn't punch you harder for putting her through that."
"Yeah well," Raven looked over the room and the happy faces on vacation. It seemed this table was the only depressed one. This topic was getting too personal. Her hands played nervously with the cuff of her long sleeve shirt.
"If you try that again, you better succeed, because I'll make you wish you had." Mystique's voice was cold. "I had to hold her, comfort her. She blamed herself for not seeing it sooner." Raven's eyes started to tear and she stared at the glass wishing there was something in it still.
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted it to stop."
"What and the drinking and drugs weren't enough?" Raven felt a wave of shame again. She hadn't handled Christmas well and even Terrance still stared at her when he thought she wouldn't see it. He didn't know, didn't understand, how she could have sunk so fast. She was always very careful to make sure he never found out about her last Christmas, even when she worked on training him.
Raven's eyes unfocused as she started to remember the day it all fell apart, it had been building for weeks and she finally crashed just a week before Christmas.
Terrance was at school, they'd given him a new name and a school record somehow. Raven remembered waking up screaming for what felt like the hundredth time that month, visions of the rapes, dreams of Tessa in her place, painful dreams of her friends deaths all kept her from getting more than three hours of sleep a night. The Xmen, her friends, had died in Dallas, the news had replayed their disappearance from that spell Forge did time and again in late September.
Rogue had been one of the ones to die. Raven still remembered Irene's pained and panicked voice on the phone after it happened. The precog tried to say that Rogue still had a future, that it couldn't have been cut so short, that she was still alive, she had to be. Irene hadn't sounded very convinced herself and Raven felt so helpless hearing the mother mourn. They only talked about it once, and then never again. Raven didn't dare reopen Irene's wounds, but she was hurting herself and couldn't tell anyone.
The holidays were meant to be so many things, but they'd become torture. Raven couldn't escape the sounds of Christmas music, it was in all the stores, on all the radio stations, and worse yet, playing often in her neighbors home loud enough for her to hear. It was impossible to avoid it. She took to taking Terrance to the store and staying in the car so she wouldn't pale and look sick in public, and she'd told him she was teaching him about budgeting and money. She'd turned her disability into a life lesson to avoid telling him the truth. She only went in to a store when she needed alcohol.
It was a late morning alcohol run that day. She was even a little drunk while she drove, something Raven used to believe she'd never do, but she did. It was the third time she'd called in sick to her work and she fully expected to be fired soon. They played that damned music all day long and she just was so tired and couldn't face it now. She couldn't face all the Christmas shoppers looking for that perfect book. Couldn't smile and pretend she didn't want to pull her hair out and scream as another vision of what she'd been forced to do to this or that particular song filled her head. Worse was when she saw the couples, the young ones, and thought about what her young sweetheart was up to now. Tessa had been a slave in that place. It wasn't unrealistic to think she'd be the entertainment.
So Raven called into work, her dreams were worse and worse and she just didn't think she could do it. She drove three miles to the liquor store and came out with enough to last her two weeks, which was a lot, while planning where she could hide some of the bottles in her room so that Terrance didn't know how much she was drinking. It took so much more than it used to and she didn't like the worried look on his face. Even with all she was doing she knew this wouldn't be enough to stop the nightmares.
On the way to the car she noticed him. The way the man walked, the way people walked up to him and very briefly talked. Even in her distracted state of mind she noticed the exchange of money and drugs. Raven set her bottled down in the trunk of the car slowly, processing her thoughts. Emma's drugs had helped. They'd made the nightmare she was living more remote. Raven didn't even know what Emma had been feeding her that Christmas, but if she told this man what it felt like maybe he would know.
Raven remembered struggling with her decision, but the sound of music, the decorations, pulled her out of her debates, her self recriminations for even thinking of it and sent her walking like a zombie over to make a purchase. Her middle class look meant she had to work to convince him she was serious, but she used her training to help her.
Raven took the pills as soon as she got home and waited for the pain to leave. She was shocked to find Selene in her living room and Tessa tied down. She couldn't see that there was no way they would just appear like that. She was raped again in that room, by her own bad trip, unable to see it wasn't real.
Tessa, god. Tears filled Raven's eyes as she remembered how her vivid imagination tortured Tessa, how Tessa suffered what Raven had. Selene kept saying that it would stop if Raven just killed herself. Most people used razors for something like that, but Raven grabbed the kitchen knife and tore it through her wrist while crying and yelling and telling Tessa she loved her and she'd stop the pain. Raven barely remembered telling Tessa to run when she could. She barely remembered any of the words she used as she fell to the ground and leaned against the kitchen counter. She'd done it, so why was Tessa still screaming? Selene was supposed to stop. Blood was pooling underneath her.
The loud slam barely drew her eyes up and Raven was stunned to see Irene run right through Selene to her. Raven remembered the pain in Irene's eyes and the way her voice cracked, "Oh god Raven, child, what have you done?" Raven saw Irene find the phone, and she remembered thinking it was amazing how Irene could find it when Raven had tossed it across the room. The tense call to 911 ended and Irene came to her and held towels tightly to her wrists. Raven looked around and saw Selene watching, but Raven couldn't see Tessa anywhere. Maybe Tessa was free, her death bought Tessa her freedom. Raven was so sure she was going to die.
"It's okay. It won't hurt anymore." Raven whispered to the crying old woman in her kitchen.
"Oh god Raven." Tears streamed down Irene's face. "I'm so sorry I didn't see this. I've been failing all my children lately, I'm so sorry." Raven had wanted to protest the guilt in Irene's voice, but the blood loss was too much and she passed out.
Mystique broke Raven out of the hospital early, and she didn't say much to Raven as she did it. Raven remembered being a bit afraid of the woman. Once they got to the new house, which was still in the same city, Mystique just left Raven in the kitchen with Irene and walked away.
Raven remembered feeling horrible and weak. She remembered feeling shame. She also remembered how tense Irene's back was as the woman angrily cut vegetables without talking to her or turning around.
"How could you?" The words were soft and angry. "There wasn't even a letter, not that it would have made a difference. A letter is a horrible way say goodbye, but how could you?" Raven wasn't even given a chance to answer. "God damn you. I already lost Rogue, I've only got a few months to live most likely, I thought it would be nice for one of my daughters to outlive me." Irene's voice was quiet steel, kept down so that Mystique didn't hear her. Raven didn't even know where Terrance was. "And what about that boy you took in? He would have come home and found you. I had to wash the floor, I had to clean up your blood, so that you didn't scar that boy that way. So he wouldn't see how close it was. You're all he has in this world Raven and I had to tell him that you were in the hospital for almost killing yourself."
"I'm sorry." Raven's voice was raspy and weak. She was supposed to be in the hospital a bit longer to recover, but Mystique thought it was tempted fate to stay there. That Raven's suicide attempt might have drawn attention from the wrong people. The slap was a shock, and Raven's head rolled to the side. Her eyes were wide as she looked into Irene's face for the first time.
Irene radiated anger. "Don't you ever do anything like that again." The older woman looked like she was ready to hit Raven again. "No more drinking, no more drugs. I saw a copy of your chart, I know, and you won't ever take drugs again. Promise me." Irene's voice became very loud. "I'm an old woman, you promise me you'll try to live." Her voice was quieter. "You don't throw that away, god damn you. I'd give anything to not… and you just throw it away."
"I'm sorry." Tears had streamed down her face in shame.
"No more drugs. No more drinking." Irene's voice was firm.
"Okay." Raven had no idea how she'd survive, how she'd be able to sleep, without drinking, but Irene had tears running down her face. "Okay."
Raven looked up when Mystique sighed heavily and the other woman's voice lost some hostility. "Are you okay? Did Irene at least arrange to take care of you?"
"I'm fine." Raven watched a woman across the room laugh with her lover, some man that looked at her like he adored her. "She said that she had everything arranged." The woman was kissing him now.
"You do know that I was busy getting information when she had that vision. I came out to find her missing and a short note telling me that Raven needed her." Mystique sighed. "She drove herself to you. It is very hard for her to use her powers in that way and it causes her a migraine every time. My Irene broke into your home alone to find a woman she cared for on the floor bleeding."
"I'm sorry." Raven's eyes teared up. She'd said those words so many times to Irene and Terrance, but Mystique hadn't been around very much, or had been too disgusted to be around her that much at the time. Raven looked away and tried to keep herself from crying.
"And are you okay?" Raven felt the touch on her arm and the meaningful light caress to her covered wrist. It tore her eyes away from the happy people to stare at Mystique. The moment of sympathy and concern in those eyes were a bit of a surprise.
"I'm doing a bit better." Raven turned her hand and held Mystique's, squeezing it softly. "It was just…" Her words failed her yet again. She had a hard time explaining it, explaining the hopelessness. Raven looked at their hands and noticed her own cuff had moved. She could see the angry scar on her wrist. Hopefully in time it would fade.
"She's gone." Mystique's voice cracked, as if finally admitting this to herself. "I find it harder to condemn you for that night, when I find myself wondering if I can do this alone."
Raven took Mystique to her cabin, after ordering another bottle of wine to take with them. Apparently Raven was wrong. Mystique would talk to her about this.
………………