Chapter 3: Big Stick Therapy
Despite the grin, the amused expression in Jayne's eyes had dropped away like a stripped off mask, leaving only a concentrated ferocity that had a few of the more sober customers of the saloon rethinking the wisdom of taking him on. Spanky wasn't one of them.
"Oh, I'll make you!" Spanky bellowed, and charged, and the place erupted.
"Back left!" Mal shouted.
Jayne must have heard, because with a quick jerk he'd lofted the pool cue, wedged it under his left arm, and sent a vicious jab backwards, scoring a rib-crackin' spike into the gut of one of Spanky's buddies, who had undoubtedly been trying to grab Jayne from behind and hold him down for some Spanky punishment.
Spanky kept comin', and some of his burly friends behind him, and Mal watched in amazement as Jayne shifted the pool cue and swung it right around like he was slammin' out a home run. He whacked Spanky across the face, then reversed and got the two other guys on the backswing.
Have some big stick therapy, you assholes, Mal cheered inwardly, courtesy of my merc.
A couple more townies surged to their feet and were in the fray. Now it was three on one, as Spanky and buddies recovered and attacked Jayne. They were swearing volubly, with blood flying from a broken nose and a couple of split lips. Jayne held them off with the pool cue, which they were furiously trying to wrench from his hands. Jayne spun them around, and then flung the stick forward, watching in satisfaction as their own momentum crashed them into a table, which collapsed under their weight.
Jayne got clipped across the jaw and he locked down on the offending arm, hoisting the guy up and hurling him into a wall. There was a light in his eyes like a berserker of old, and Mal mentally congratulated Jayne's high school guidance counselor, 'cause Jayne had definitely chosen the right profession to match his skill set.
Now there were people fighting all over, regulars taking the opportunity to score a few hits off each other, settling old grievances. There was even a cat fight over in the corner between Ling and some other trampy-looking broad. It was a general free-for-all. Mal couldn't help but give himself a mental pat on the back.
Jayne got jumped by two big reubens and was taking some serious punches to the gut and kidneys. He shoved one down and stomped, and Mal thought he could hear bones break. He could definitely hear the screaming. Spanky was back on his feet and was headed for Jayne, a club made from a fragmented table leg in his hand.
"Uh, Mal?" Jayne grunted, as Spanky swung. "Any time?" He warded off the blow with his forearm, and managed to get underneath Spanky's raised arm and send a swift knuckle jab right to his throat. Spanky fell back momentarily, choking, but came on again, still wheezing, with help. They flowed onto Jayne, and Mal could hardly see the large man at the center of the shifting bodies and swinging fists. The whole group lurched against the wall and smashed into a huge decorative mirror, sending it crashing to the floor in an explosion of shattered glass.
Great. Huge shards of jagged glass really upped the excitement factor.
Mal looked over his shoulder at the grizzled old bartender, who was standing there watching the destruction with supreme indifference, his white towel slung over his shoulder.
"Not your place, huh?" Mal asked.
The guy shook his head definitively and folded his arms. "Shitty pay, too."
"Ah," an understanding Mal nodded, rolled up his sleeves, and waded in.
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"I'd say we're humped," Jayne gritted out, throwing out a left hook that sent one of his opponents reeling across the room. He and Mal were back to back, having been boxed into a corner by sheer numbers. The door of the tavern looked pretty far away, Mal considered, no gettin' out without sustaining some serious bodily damage. The only other exit available was a set of stairs to Jayne's right. In Mal's estimation their only course of action was to try and get up the stairs before they got dragged under by Spanky and company.
Mal was pretty sure those steps would eventually lead to that balcony on the front side of the building. It hadn't been too high. They could probably hang onto the banister and drop to the ground. Then at least they'd be outside, where their options would expand. Might even get rescued by his little pilot. If they didn't break their legs first, that is.
"Stairs," Mal jerked his head towards the flight of stairs behind him. He took a badly aimed punch to the ear. It stung like a sumbitch and Mal let loose a few choice Mandarin curses.
"What's that gonna get us but trapped?" Jayne growled, reaching out and clamping his big hands around the scrawny necks of two of Spanky's less attractive buddies. He clapped their heads together with all his might, sending both of them spiralling to the floor.
"And your plan is?" Mal demanded sarcastically, dodging another punch.
Jayne took a moment to consider.
"Go," he conceded briefly, fists still in motion.
Mal darted behind him and started up the stairs. Jayne shifted slightly to block the stairs more effectively, and then feinted to the left before falling back. He gave an inhuman roar and heaved up a heavy wooden bench from against the wall, sweeping it back and forth. Jayne angled the legs outward and drove forward into the crowd, encouraging the mob to shift backwards to escape the press. Jayne backed up quickly, still holding the bench like a shield, until he was about halfway up to the first landing. At that point he flung the bench back down onto the surge of followers. The first wave collapsed underneath it in a tangled mess of limbs, cutting off immediate pursuit.
"I hope reavers come and eat your puny little balls, Spanky!" Jayne snarled as he turned and pounded up the stairs after Mal.
Mal entered a darkened corridor in the upper level, searching for some kind of egress to the balcony. There were closed doors lining the wall. Mal tried a couple of knobs as he ran, but they were locked. Place had probably been run as a hotel or whorehouse at some point. There, at the end of the hall, there was a lot of light coming from a small hallway on the southeast corner. Yep, he peered around and was rewarded by the sight of tall French doors, with the evening light shining faintly through dusty lace curtains. He struggled to get the 'com out of his pocket and thumbed the send button urgently.
"Captain?" River responded immediately.
"You comin', lil' albatross?" Mal demanded. "'Cause sooner would be better!" He shot Jayne a look as the big man joined him in the little passageway. Jayne merely nodded, lifted one big boot, and splintered the thin wood around the lock with a rending crack and a tinkle of breaking glass. They could hear shouts from below, growing louder.
"Almost there!" River's voice was steady and cheerful.
"We're climbin' down from this –" Mal began, but River cut him off.
"I know where you are. Three minutes and thirty-two seconds. Out."
"Bless your witchy little heart," Mal murmured with gratitude, and moved forward.
They burst out onto the balcony, which was actually more of veranda than a narrow walkway. There were battered lounge chairs and tables arranged haphazardly in the spacious area, complete with cups and litter and other remains from some party. The two men ran for the railing, and grabbed the top bar with the intent of vaulting themselves over.
Simultaneously, they baulked, and Mal clutched desperately at the railing to keep himself from falling over. It was a hell of a lot higher than it had looked from the ground outside.
"Mal…" Jayne glared at him in exasperation, a "What did I tell you?" clearly forming on his tongue.
"What?" Mal protested. "It's not like you –"
There was the unwelcome noise of pounding footsteps crunching on broken glass.
"Now we got you! Hands up, you gorram browncoats," Spanky's hoarse voice, the result of Jayne's fist to his trachea, came from behind them, along with the unmistakable sound of a rifle being cocked.
Mal sighed in resignation, and lifted his hands in the air as he and Jayne turned to face the music.
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A/N: Holy Crap, action is hard! Fun, but hard. Hope it wasn't too confusing to follow. Thanks to michebabyblue (You're right about River's heart, BTW! Smushy stuff will ensue. Sorry, though, Wash is gone in this fic) and EreshkigalGirl (Your reviews are like being visited by a celebrity - I loved "Angel" so much!) for taking the time to review. Gem