500 Miles Hellfire 2
By Princess Alexandria
Raven felt like her body was made of lead and she whimpered just a little when her alarm went off. No sleep. As she dragged herself into the bathroom she started to look for red tired eyes, but all she saw was the glowing white. Well, that would cover it up well enough Raven thought with a sigh. She dressed and got her supplies together for another day at the Market.
She found herself taking a detour on the way to work, walking five blocks out of the way to stare up at an office building. It wasn't really impressive. Raven felt a bit nervous as she crossed the street and moved to the door to look at the various occupants, taking in the name of Karen's practice and a few others including a listing for one Emma Frost. Her hand moved out to touch the numbers of the woman's office slowly. She'd only seen Karen's workplace in passing, but would she have noticed this sign here if she'd gone in? Raven felt a bit of dread as she considered that she could have been here and still not known. It didn't make her feel safe, knowing these little clues would have passed her by if she weren't looking for it. She'd never expected to run into Emma here.
It seemed so very wrong that Emma Frost was now a sex therapist, after having contributed to all of Raven's hang-ups. How many other people owed their nightmares to something that woman had done? Raven stared at her name with a pained expression on her face. She couldn't really say Emma had raped her, because Christy had wanted it so badly, had never made the White Queen force her. Memories of serving the woman replayed in Raven's mind and she could still remember Christy's feelings, her longing for more, more emotion, more compassion. Emma claimed she did all she could, that she didn't enjoy abusing her, but if that were true why did the woman continue the charade in her rooms when they were alone? Raven found herself asking question after question and feeling so frustrated that she had no answers.
A person walking up the steps drew her attention and Raven turned away from them so she wouldn't be seen, even though it shouldn't matter. She felt lost, jumpy, and she left quickly to finish her trek to the Market.
Her work helped to calm her some, and every hour that went by without people rushing in to grab her made her think that maybe it could be okay. Then there were moments when she was convinced she was insane, or that Christy's affection for even this version of her lover had infected and blinded Raven, but then she just reminded herself she was trusting Ellie, not Emma. Ellie said stay, and a precog would know best wouldn't she?
She'd already ignored Irene when she came here. Maybe she should have stayed in Austria even though it hurt, Raven thought with a small sigh as she sat back down and waited for another customer. Well, it was too late now, she was here.
"Raven." A familiar almost too deep to be female voice spoke gently and Raven turned to see Karen standing next to her booth. Karen's expression was concerned and Raven stared for a moment a little stunned to find her friend here looking at her that way. "I had to see how you were. You left the restaurant so upset." Raven blinked as it registered that Karen remembered that. Emma let Karen remember that. Somehow Raven hadn't even considered that Emma wouldn't have cleaned that memory to avoid uncomfortable questions.
"I'm fine." Raven spoke softly and glanced at someone flipping through her portfolio distractedly.
"You're off soon aren't you?" Karen moved a little closer and Raven noticed one of Karen's right hands moving just a little towards her, before stopping and aborting the obviously subconsciously intended gentle touch.
There was no evading this. Raven sighed heavily and glanced at her watch. She could leave. The chances of a last minute customer at this point were slim. Raven packed up quietly and started toward the doors, knowing that Karen was following her. Her mind seemed stuck as she tried to think of a cover, a reason for her behavior the night before.
"I'm sorry." Raven finally noticed the slight limp Karen had and knew she put it there. She sat on a bench overlooking the water just outside of the Market with a heavy sigh, feeling guilty, but Karen just shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.
"What was that?" Karen moved into Raven's space sitting very close. "Emma said you two had some history, and that she'd hurt you badly." Raven swallowed hard and took a deep breath, still surprised at Emma's behavior. Even the Professor would have covered this up, she thought for a moment, but she felt a wave of disgust as soon as she realized where her thoughts had gone. He wasn't a good telepath, and clearly he wasn't as honest as Emma, surprisingly. He covered up his guilt, but Emma just admitted to it. Why? "Raven, what happened between the two of you?" Karen asked so quietly. Raven just stared into Karen's eyes blankly, completely lost as to what to say. She almost wished that Emma had invaded her friends mind and erased a few things.
"It's just between us." Raven's fists clenched a little and she stared out at the water rather than face Karen. Her voice was a little cold as she tried to shut Karen out of this.
"You were panicked and irrational. I've never seen you like that." Karen pressed on. "I'm worried about you. What happened, why did seeing her send you running?" Raven's jaw clenched as she moved to stare at her own feet.
"Karen, you aren't MY psychologist. I won't be laying my pain out for you to analyze."
"I was asking as your friend." Karen sounded a little hurt and Raven reluctantly looked up. Karen brushed Raven's hair out of her face. "Whenever you're ready, but if you want I can put exlax in her coffee for you." Raven smiled just a little as she imagined Emma Frost having to stop her sessions with some couple so she could run to the bathroom. "That's a pretty weak smile, but it's something." Karen smiled at her and Raven squeezed Karen's hand before standing up and picking up her bag of art supplies. Karen didn't press her for details again even though they went out to dinner, but Raven understood that Karen was just being patient like a good little Psychologist. Raven bit back her own questions about Emma because if she didn't bring it up the subject was closed; she just wished she could ask Karen what she knew about the blonde woman.
……………….
Raven sat in the break room of the gym, her head down on the table, her arms folded under it. The embarrassment from the night before still lingered as Raven remembered taking the detour for the third time that week to stare up at the building Emma worked in, only to have Emma stare back. Raven had looked up to the third story window to see the woman in white looking at her and Raven still remembered how her body froze as she was caught. They'd stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, until the blinds closed. Raven had more problems sleeping that night.
She could hear the clank of weights just outside the break room, and could hear a familiar voice talking to someone, knowing that Ellie would be dropping her book bag in her locker in just a moment and still Raven didn't move to sit up. A large part of her hoped that when Ellie saw her like this she'd move to comfort her. Ellie didn't ask questions and made Raven feel protected in a way, kind of like Irene. The girl was sixteen, but Raven couldn't deny Ellie's ability to mother her or that if felt good, so Raven stayed posed, hoping for a friendly touch.
"Raven?" Ellie's voice was soft and Raven smiled just a little into her arms as she heard footsteps coming closer.
"Hey Ellie." Raven spoke quietly and felt a small bit of triumph when she felt a hand touch her shoulder.
"Tough week?" Ellie's hand moved in a small caress over Raven's shoulders.
"You have no idea." Raven sighed heavily and arched back just a little into the caress.
"You're like my cat." Ellie sounded just a little amused, but the petting became a bit more firm. Ellie's voice became softer, "I'm glad you stayed. I really thought you might leave. My visions were all over the place. They tend to do that with you, too many possibilities."
"I've heard that before." Raven sighed, remembering Irene. "It's like every little thing I do makes a difference, isn't it?" She'd thought about Irene's visions a lot in the past few years.
"No, you aren't a goddess." Ellie sounded like she was smiling. "You're just complex and tied into big things."
"Are you sure I'm not a goddess?" Raven teased and turned her head so she could look up a little.
"Maybe one day you'll be one, but right now you're just plain old Raven." Ellie spoke and Raven pretended to wince.
"Ow, plain and old. Why not say ugly and ancient?" Raven smiled to show she was teasing when she noticed Ellie blush.
"You're not ugly, old maybe but not ugly." Ellie took a little too long working on that weak come back, but Raven didn't tease her about it. Old, well compared to Ellie she was. She was near twice Ellie's age, just a few years off. Raven's improved mood started to decline again at that thought. She was getting old on the run, life was running away from her. Ellie's voice became tender. "Not old really either." Raven sat up and the hands touching her stopped.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Her voice held sarcasm.
"I think you're very pretty." Ellie was looking right into her eyes. Raven just stared at her a moment, not sure what to do. "And you understand me, not many people do."
"You're," Raven bit her lip just a little, wondering if she was really allowed to say this, "pretty too Ellie." The girl smiled and stood a little taller with the compliment.
"Thank you." Ellie glanced at the clock and Raven knew their talk was just about over. They both had work to do. Maybe that was best, because Raven was starting to feel out of her depth, like she'd taken a turn she shouldn't have and didn't know how to back up. "I better get to the desk."
"Yeah, and I'm sure my three o'clock will be here soon." Raven sighed and stood up.
Her three o'clock was on time and it wasn't until almost four that Raven found herself standing by the front desk waiting for her next client there instead of wandering the gym. "I heard your birthday is this week." She spoke while leaning on the counter and watching Ellie finishing typing up something. "What you gonna be, about twelve?" Raven smirked at the slightly insulted look on Ellie's face.
"Seventeen."
"I was thinking maybe we could go out and celebrate." Raven smiled gently. "Nice restaurant, maybe a movie." Yes it sounded like a date, and she knew it, but she had no gift to give. "I could draw for you if you want."
"Well, Ellie," Another voice interrupted them and Raven's back tensed at the cool accent. "I see you weren't exaggerating when you said your gym was large."
"Ms. Frost." Ellie turned to the intruder. "Raven, this is Ms. Frost, my telepathy teacher."
Raven swallowed hard and turned to see the blonde standing in the lobby looking like she'd already had a workout. Emma was staring at her, which was covered quickly.
"Hello Raven." Emma gave Raven a small smile that Raven didn't return, before turning back to Ellie. "If you get me an application, I'd like to join." Emma moved up to stand at the counter next to Raven and when Ellie moved to the office to get the paperwork the telepath spoke quietly. "Seventeen is still underage Raven." Emma sounded teasing and flirtatious, but Raven just glared back, insulted at the words she'd heard before from another telepath.
"You have no right to accuse me," Raven's face darkened, but when Ellie stepped back out she just turned away so Ellie couldn't see the anger on her face as she stared out the door. The girl gave Emma the paperwork, paperwork that would mean Emma could show up here at any time. When Emma moved to a chair to fill it out Raven waited until Ellie was busy with another client before moving over to her. "I don't want you here." Raven growled under her breath.
"Why ever not? It would be so much easier for you to spy on me if I just came to you." Emma barely glanced up before continuing to work on the application. "You do realize that my building has security, this is the only way you'll get a good look at me and what I'm doing."
Raven sucked in air and glared out the main doors again. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Ellie was glancing at her. Raven turned her head so that Ellie couldn't see her mouth moving. "Leave me alone, for once leave me alone." Emma stopped writing for a moment, the pen tapping lightly on the side of the clipboard.
"I can't read your mind, but your actions don't match your words." Emma sighed but then started to write again. "I need a place to work out. The gym at my building is really inadequate." Emma started writing faster, making it clear she would finish this application. Raven glared down at her. "Don't glare." Emma snapped out a quiet command and Raven looked away quickly.
"Is everything alright here?" Her manager's voice held suspicion as he startled Raven.
"Everything is just fine." Emma held out the clipboard for him to take rather than walk it to the desk herself. "Raven was just telling me about the personal trainers you have here. Are there any more openings with one?" Raven swallowed and tried to calm her irritation as she watched Emma protecting Raven's job. The blonde could have easily gotten her fired, because Raven would never admit to why she didn't want the telepath there.
"I think Raven might have an opening or two." Raven flinched a little at the comment he gave back. She could do nothing but watch as her life spun out of her control, her eyes went blank as she tried to block out any feelings she might have.
Emma looked at her for a moment too long. "Maybe I'll consider it later."
Raven barely glanced at Ellie as she made her way past the front desk, ignoring her client as she passed her and walked into the bathroom to throw up just as she got to the toilet. Emma was really back and there was nothing she could do about it.
…………………
Raven glanced at the clock, to make sure it wasn't time to get ready for her night out with Ellie just yet, before she laid back on the bench and adjusted her grip on the bar. She lifted the weight up into the air and started her reps. For her to claim to be a personal trainer, it didn't hurt to keep up her own muscles and her own membership to the gym was free. Raven tried to work out during the slow times, or in this case when a scheduled appointment didn't show.
Angry thoughts fueled her work out as she heard a familiar voice somewhere in the gym, a cool voice with an air of privilege for an accent. Raven resisted the urge to look for the woman and just shoved the weights up faster, a scowl on her face. She lost count of her reps and just pressed harder. Her arms were getting just a little shaky as she pushed herself a little too hard, and it was hard for her to line up the bar to put it back down.
Hands came into her sight, wrapping around the middle of her bar and helping Raven to put the damned thing away. "Thanks." Raven muttered as she started to sit up.
"No problem," And Raven froze for just a moment as she recognized the voice of her help. Raven continued to sit up, trying not to show how Emma's voice had caused Raven's body to tense up and turned to look at the blonde in shorts and a tank top. Neither of which were white. "You looked like you were having a bit of trouble there. I thought a personal trainer would know better than to work out without a spotter on this." Emma caressed the bar and just smiled a little at Raven, almost flirtatiously and more friendly than Raven had ever seen that face in real life.
Raven opened her mouth and almost told Emma what she could do with that large bar in graphic detail, but another personal trainer moved to the station next to them with his client. "So, would you care to spot me?" Emma asked, giving a slight glance toward their new neighbors. When those light blue eyes stared back into Raven's, it held a bit of a command, but something else as well. Raven's eyebrows drew together as she tried to make sense of that look. Emma didn't even wait for the answer, she just moved to lay on the bench Raven had just vacated and glanced at the weights. "I could go another fifteen to twenty."
Raven just clenched her jaw a little and moved to add the weight without speaking. Raven still got sore if she pushed too hard, she had the added burden of doing her own physical therapy. There was no reason to feel the need to compete with this pampered Queen, Raven told herself as she loudly clanked the extra weight onto the bar and tried to ignore the way Emma watched her. It wouldn't do for anyone to report Raven for less than helpfulness on the floor while working.
Raven didn't speak as she watched Emma lift the bar repeatedly, watching for when the blonde's arms were too tired. Emma focused on her workout as well and Raven found her eyes trailing over the woman. Emma was in very good shape, even better than she used to be. The blonde had some sweat soaked strands of hair sticking to her face and a determined look on her face as she continued to push the bar up and down. Raven wished she was the telepath as she stared down at Emma, wanting to know what Emma was up to. Not knowing was making Raven twitchy and nervous while she waited for some elaborate plan to hatch. Other times she reminded herself that Emma couldn't possibly be thinking and plotting about her all the time.
As soon as she helped Emma put the bar back down she barely nodded and left the floor to get away before Emma found a way to make Raven spot her on something else. "Thank you." Emma called to Raven's back, and Raven barely glanced back. Her head shook from side to side slightly as she thought about the White Queen thanking anyone, it was an act.
Raven grabbed a towel as she moved toward the showers in the locker room, nodding to a few familiar faces changing as she did so. The hot water helped with the ache in her shoulder and with more than enough time to get ready to go out with Ellie Raven stayed under the beating water longer than normal. It wouldn't do for Ellie to suspect Raven had once again pushed herself too hard, Raven didn't want another soft spoken lecture about it.
Once she was done she wrapped her towel around her and moved toward her locker. Raven dressed and as she was pulling her shirt on she felt eyes on her. When she turned she found Emma sitting on a bench across the room unlacing her shoes and watching Raven. "You have a new scar." Emma spoke as if the other two women still in the room weren't there and Raven glanced at them for a moment, suspecting they wouldn't hear a word that was said. "You were unblemished the last time I saw you." Emma's eyes were on Raven's shoulder, so Raven just pulled the shirt closed and buttoned it up. She had a few new scars now.
"Well, that was a while ago." Raven finally spoke quietly, while turning towards the mirror on the wall and pulling her brush through her hair. "Life hasn't been," Her words trailed off as she realized she didn't need to talk to Emma. The telepath gave them privacy, so Raven didn't have to pretend for other people.
"What hasn't life been Raven?" Emma asked while just sitting on the bench, her shoes beside her now.
Raven's jaw clenched, her hand on her hairbrush tightened around the handle hard enough to render her fingers white. It sounded like a psychologist question, the kind Karen couldn't resist asking once in a while. "Don't try to analyze me." She glared.
Emma sighed and her shoulders seemed to relax just a little. "I'm not. I will admit I'm curious, but I'm not trying to figure out what's with you or why you're so guarded with me. I already know." Emma's eyes stared into Raven. "Aren't you curious? I thought the way you were stalking me made it clear you were." Emma pulled her shirt up off of her body, revealing a sports bra. "Don't you wonder how I came to be here, or what happened at the club after you escaped? Perhaps you'd like to know how Tessa is doing?" Raven took a deep breath and turned away.
"Just don't talk to me." She called behind her coldly, but she couldn't say Emma was wrong. Just hearing an offer to know about Tessa was so tempting, but to admit she cared might compromise Tessa.
"What ever happened to Christy?" Emma asked quietly and the two other women in the room got up and left for their workout, leaving Emma and Raven truly alone. Raven looked into the mirror and could see Emma's expression, and something there, the way the eyes were softer, made the question an honest one. Raven's back slumped a little as Emma asked one question Raven felt she couldn't just brush aside. Christy would have wanted her to answer this one.
Raven wrapped a hair band around her hair to create a pony tail and stared at her own reflection instead of Emma's. "She left a couple months after we were rescued. We found a way to separate without you, thank god." Raven put her brush down and started to straighten her collar, but she subtly watched Emma for a reaction. She didn't see one, so she kept talking. "I don't know how she'll be able to step back into her life, to sleep next to a woman that looks like, well, you, after everything that happened." And Raven saw a very small flinch at her apparently well aimed barb. She couldn't say she hadn't imagined it, but Raven's hard glaring eyes calmed just a little.
"Well, if anyone could it would be Christy wouldn't it?" Emma wasn't really asking a question. The blonde stood up and moved to finish removing her work out clothes.
"I don't like you," Raven took a deep breath and turned to face Emma, noting that having Emma in her underwear while Raven was fully dressed helped her feel more confident, "but Christy," Raven shook her head and sighed. "Christy did, on some level she did. Aside from everything else, you ripped her heart out and made her doubt her own lover. That Emma, her Emma, didn't deserve that any more than Christy or I did. Her Emma loved her, and I wonder if Christy flinched away from her when she got home." Drahke had been so patient, but she'd also been so different from anyone that had touched Raven in the Hellfire club, what would it be like for Christy?
Emma stood quietly for a moment. "Well, we will never know will we?" The blonde spoke quietly and started to remove the last of her clothes unselfconsciously. "Thank you for telling me, but I need a shower." Emma dismissed Raven's attention and Raven just turned to finish her makeup for her night out, but her eyes stayed on Emma as long as Emma took to cross into the showers.
………………………..
It was dark out when the movie ended. Raven held the door opened for Ellie without even thinking about it as they left the theater late on a Friday night. Her thoughts were more on the movie, and Christy, and Emma and so many things that were getting tied together in her mind.
"Hannibal, that was," Ellie made a face of disgust, "more gross than I thought it would be. I mean cannibals, ew. And feeding that to the kid, gross." Ellie shuddered and Raven gave the girl a fake smile, thinking of her own reluctant cannibal. Of course Christy would never have done something like that dinner scene, she wasn't cruel, she was just desperate. Raven had seen memories of Christy's first home world.
"There are some sick people out there. Who would eat that if there was anything else around, really."
"Until he did that I was kinda hoping," Ellie turned down the street along the water and Raven glanced at the way the light reflected off of it. "They were so worried about each other. Beloved enemies protecting each other in their own way. It was a little romantic, but then he went and pulled that."
"Beloved Enemies?" Raven looked over at the girl beside her.
"He loved her, and I think she kinda loved him too." Ellie moved to sit on a bench overlooking the water, and Raven glanced around before sitting, checking to see if she thought it was a safe place to stop. "She HAD to try and stop him, but she didn't want to really catch him, she just wanted him to stop. She respected him and hated what she had to do."
"That would be hard." Raven sat back and watched the water. She had been here in the daylight before, just sitting and watching the water, but at night it had a more enchanting feel to it. "What I loved was when he was holding her up, away from the animals so they couldn't hurt her."
"Me too." Ellie smiled at her. "He was a monster, but he could still care."
"I could never imagine her actually doing it, but I almost wished she went with him." Raven admitted as they both stared out at the water. "I heard in the book she did, but they changed it for the movie."
"She never would have. She's a hero." Ellie objected.
"It's easy for heroes to loose their shine and just become people Ellie." Raven sighed, thinking of all those times she didn't object to Mystique's missions. "Loving a bad guy changes you. Makes it all gray instead of black and white." They talked a little longer before Raven decided they had to get Ellie home before Ellie's mother started to worry.
Once Ellie was home Raven walked back to the water and just leaned against the guard rail staring out at it. The water always helped her relax. "Irene," Raven spoke quietly, even though she hadn't seen anyone else around. "can you even see me now?" Raven's head bowed as she watched the water's hit the rocks below. "I miss you." She lowered her shields just a little, lowering them very much in this country bombarded her so she never took them down far. It did help with her depression, which hit her far too often since Mystique left and Terrance was left behind. She had to work early the next morning, so Raven only stayed a few minutes before wandering off towards her own home.
…………..
"So did you and Ellie have fun?" Karen asked as she finished her reps. Raven smiled just a little at the prying tone that was emphasized to tease.
"Please, it's bad enough boss man acts like I'm dating her. I don't need it from you."
"You do remember what seventeen was like don't you Raven?" Karen sat up and used the edge of her towel to dry the sweat from her face. "Crushes and hormones. Wanting to be an adult, but not really ready for it." The psychologist moved the towel out of her way and stared right at Raven. "Crushes on teachers, or other," Karen paused meaningfully, "people."
"It isn't that way with Ellie." Raven's amusement faded fast and she just moved to wipe off the handle on the barbell.
"Don't be so sure. I know she's rather mature, but really, what seventeen year old jumps at a chance to spend a Friday night with someone," Karen's head tilted a little, "How old are you anyway?"
"Thirty." Raven started to move to the next station, making Karen follow her. Her voice lacked any and all enthusiasm for the discussion.
"I had such a crush on my high school English teacher at seventeen, Mr. Johnson." Karen smiled just a little as she sat back down at the new station. "The fantasies I had, well, they were really something." Her smile faded. "But then I finished mutating and saw his eyes when I stepped into class. I got over it fast."
Raven saw her chance to change the direction of the conversation and took it. "I fell for my art teacher. I stayed after school so much that year, working on projects while she did her paperwork." She remembered how her art teacher got married at the end of the year and moved away. She'd been disappointed, as if she'd had a chance. "Maybe that's where I got my love of art."
Karen laughed. "It could be." Karen focused on her workout for a quiet minute or two. "I wonder if Ellie will become a gym rat because of you."
"She's not young like we were." Raven thought of two different seventeen year olds at that time, and how Tessa was very mature for her age as well. "She had to grow up faster. Being a precog is hard."
"What a seventeen year old wants or needs out of a relationship and a thirty year old will always be different Raven, even if the seventeen year old is mature."
"What about a seventeen year old and a twenty one year old?" Raven asked after a while, when she decided to stop protesting, because it really didn't matter.
"A seventeen year old like Ellie, well that could work." Karen stopped her reps in the middle of her set. "Why is she talking about someone?"
"No." Raven sighed and looked down at Karen, the first person to tell her it might have been okay with Tessa.
Karen's eyes started to show some understanding. "Ellie can't replace a lost lover for you."
"I wasn't suggesting that." Raven's grip on the barbell tightened. "I never even considered that."
"If you weren't my friend I'd be working really hard to get you on my office couch." Karen shook her head. "It was a rather natural leap in your mind from our conversation to that question wasn't it?"
Raven felt her face flush. "It's never far from my mind, it doesn't mean anything."
"What happened?" Karen asked and Raven glanced around to see if anyone was listening. Her eyes stopped and widened a little when she noticed the blonde telepath working out across the room. "Was it her?" Karen spoke more quietly. "Is that why you have so much…"
"No, it wasn't her." Raven stared at Karen, knowing that woman had no telepathic defenses. "Let's just drop it." She hadn't talked to anyone about Tessa since Christy, and Raven couldn't believe she'd almost done it here in a gym with the White Queen feet away. That would have really been dangerous.
Karen went quiet a moment. "I have friends, good friends who are good psychologists, who you might consider talking with. It's not ethical for me to do it, but maybe you need someone, don't you?"
"No, I'm fine." Raven moved to encourage Karen to get back to work. She attempted to smile. "You just fantasize about me and couches. Maybe you need to accept your inherent bisexuality and realize it's all sexual."
Karen didn't speak for a moment, but then she smiled. "If I were to fantasize about you, it would be you laying on a bench here or in the hot tub, or maybe the sauna. I could fantasize about you in the locker room showers or,"
"Oh God." Raven blushed as Karen teased her. The serious conversation wasn't forgotten, but it was given up for now.
"A couch really doesn't do my gym rat justice." Karen winked at her and started her reps again.
"Anything you've been meaning to tell me Karen?"
"That I'm a raging heterosexual?" Karen smirked.
"Not sounding like that right now."
"Trust me, you are pretty to look at, but I've never had the urge to touch."
………………….
It almost looked like Emma wouldn't show up, for the first time this week, but Raven noticed the blonde's hair across the room as Raven was setting up the weights for Karen. With a quiet sigh Raven focused on her work. Emma was doing it on purpose. No one worked out every day, at varying times, and always during Raven's shift. Emma somehow knew when Raven worked, and being a telepath she probably used someone's eyes to see the shift schedule in the break room.
How did a woman who had two jobs apparently, have enough free time to work out in the morning, afternoon, or evening depending on Raven's shift? Raven turned back to Karen, noticing that the four armed woman had been asking her a question. "What?" Raven asked, having missed everything Karen said.
"You didn't hear a word I said did you?" Karen let out an irritated breath and glanced across the room where Raven had been looking. "Emma?"
"Yeah, that's Emma." Raven leaned against the wall and tried to not let the searching look Karen gave her to that bother her. It wasn't working completely and Raven glanced back toward Emma, then over to other people working out, rather than look at Karen while the psychologist was clearly analyzing her.
"Are you ever going to talk about what she did?" Karen spoke quietly and Raven had to turn to glance at her friend.
"Don't." Raven shook her head just a little from side to side.
"How are you dealing with seeing her all the time like this? You know she's doing this to you on purpose, don't you?"
Raven went quiet as she honestly thought about the question. Emma always drew Raven's attention and made it hard for Raven to focus on work. In spite of her inability to not see Emma, Raven didn't feel as afraid. It was almost like every day that Emma came and then left proved the blonde wasn't trying to get Raven captured again. Raven felt anger, irritation, and so much curiosity it kept her up at night. Emma had become a puzzle, a maddening one that consumed Raven's thoughts far too often.
Emma knew it too. It had to be behind some of the smirks Raven got whenever Emma caught her looking. Raven was hardly stupid and she knew Emma was manipulative and was weaving a web, but it was hard not to be caught in it.
"I'm fine." Raven didn't bother to elaborate and Karen's disbelieving look showed she wasn't really selling that lie well. Raven wasn't terrified anymore, but she wasn't really fine with Emma hanging around and consuming her thoughts.
"And I'm really convinced." Karen spoke flatly. Her voice became more animated. "Can't you get her banned from the gym?"
"What would I tell them?"
"That she's stalking you? That's still against the law." Karen glared over at Emma, and the telepath looked over at them. Raven let Emma see her looking and Emma just nodded subtly to her before turning to say something to the gym Casanova, all the while not acknowledging Karen's cold gaze. Whatever Emma said to the gym gigolo was strong enough for him to get the hint to leave, before Emma started her chin ups.
"And I'd have to drag our history out. I'd have to…" tell people she wasn't Raven Christine. No, it wasn't worth it. Her current identity wasn't strong enough, she was sure if police looked into it they'd find holes.
The idea of trying to get Emma kicked out didn't appeal to Raven at all. She wanted the blonde right there where she could see her, not angry and sneaking up behind Raven to stab her in the back, or calling the Professor to turn her in. Raven stared at the telepath's smooth motion as Emma did chin up after chin up, her muscles not complaining about the strain. Of course a body like that would have no trouble with that. Her eyes traveled over Emma. "No, it isn't worth it."
"I'm worried about you." Karen's concerned pleading words drew Raven's attention to her friend. Raven's expression softened as she saw Karen clearly was.
"Thank you." Raven spoke quietly, softly. Karen was the kind of friend Raven needed, probably had needed ever since Irene had died; someone to call her on things and force her to think, but also someone that clearly cared even when Raven didn't want to hear what she said. "But you don't need to."
After Karen's workout Raven walked with the woman toward the lockers. Her shift ended with Karen and Raven had to get ready to go man her booth. After just a few weeks doing the drawings she was becoming someone that customers sought out. Raven had heard of a few referrals that came her way and hoped that it continued, because her income was on a steady rise and with all the money she'd left behind for Terrance she needed a new nest egg.
"Raven, can I talk to you." Emma's voice was soft, but then she didn't need to yell since Raven had to walk right past her. Karen looked at Raven for some clue as to whether she should stay or go and Raven just nodded to her. Raven watched as Karen gave Emma a warning glare and then waited until Karen had walked far enough away to not hear her.
"What?" Raven's voice held more than a hint of her irritation as she turned to glare at the telepath. Emma just leaned against the edge of the treadmill and crossed her arms in front of her while looking at Raven, studying her. "What do you want?" Raven glared at Emma.
"Is it really so hard to talk with me that you have to bristle and growl every time I try?" Emma showed little expression and Raven just stared at the woman coldly. What did Emma expect, polite chit chat after everything the woman did to Raven? Emma took a deep breath and glanced around them, "You can speak, I am keeping the riff raff from listening in."
"You are nothing but a power hungry selfish bitch. Is that open and honest enough for you?" Raven's voice held a hint of a growl. "You think you can just appear years later and I'll sit down to tea and a chat? What am I supposed to tell the sex therapist about my nightmares and hope for some gentle advice to fix it all? You," Raven scoffed, "a sex therapist and teacher. It just shows how wrong this world is that a woman like you would become either of those things. What do you teach, how to destroy people to cure your own boredom? Do you talk about how to whip someone, or how to force them to…" Raven's angry words trailed off as her scowl grew. Her words became colder, "Sebastian and Selene may have been the worst monsters, but you," Raven's fists clenched, "you chose to cater to their," Raven shook her head, unable to finish her thoughts, lost in what to say. "The White Queen," Raven shook her head, "you were no queen, you were a drugged out pathetic child determined to break her toys." Raven pointed at her own chest. "I'm not a fucking toy."
"Are you quite done?" Emma spoke quietly and far too calmly. It frustrated Raven to no end and made her feel unheard.
"No I'm not." Raven took one menacing half step closer to Emma. "I've barely even started."
"No doubt, but if you really want to do it right we probably should book an entire evening." Emma waved on hand lightly, dismissing the idea. "But what I wanted to talk to you about was something a little less emotional. Ellie suggested you for the schools Independence Day celebration. A large fair in celebration of Magneto turning this into a mutant utopia or some such garbage." Emma sighed. "I hear you are an artist and we need to have some booths at this colossal waste of time and I've been put in charge of it. New teacher and all, I didn't start the school year early enough to pick something less bothersome to organize." Emma complained, completely ignoring Raven's disbelieving expression.
"Emotional?" Raven's voice rose. "Emotional?" Emma called her emotional? What else would she be, she had the right to be a little emotional, Raven thought angrily.
"Again, if you want to discuss more," Emma's held tilted to the side a little. "Personal and painful things perhaps we should do it elsewhere, or you could even call my secretary and make an appointment. As you say, I am a sex therapist."
"Oh my god." Raven just shook her head at Emma's gall.
"At least you are trusting me with your feelings now," Emma glanced around the gym coolly, "and to keep our conversations from the public as well. It's amazing the progress you are making Raven."
Raven looked around them with wide eyes, suddenly realizing that she had trusted Emma to keep this talk quiet. Her mind supplied a new nightmare of everyone staring at both of them, but when she looked no one seemed to be paying them attention. Other people were just continuing their workout.
"The celebration is in three weeks, and we are hoping that part of the profits will go to the school beyond the fee for booths, but I'm sure you could make a decent amount of money as well. It shouldn't cost much more than that booth you have at the Market, and quite frankly teenagers are just narcissistic enough to want to get several sketches done, and have few enough bills to have money to burn."
"You are completely ignoring me." Raven was trying to talk about something real, something painful, and Emma brushed it aside like it was nothing.
"No, I'm more than willing to talk to you about it Raven. I wouldn't be here if I weren't, but this isn't really the setting. I should be able to pay more attention to that talk than I can do while controlling some twenty odd people so they don't notice us. I was thinking someplace more private." Raven had been about to open her mouth and spit out more about Emma's seeming lack of remorse, but Emma's words stopped her. Raven found herself just staring at the telepath. "So what I'm asking about is your art. I had heard from Ororo and a few other Xmen that you were an artist, so when Ellie reminded me of it I thought why not ask. The school needs more funding for special programs and technology and we can wait for Magneto to give it to us, which I wouldn't hold my breath on, or find a way to make it ourselves. What you do would be a money maker and would be a draw to get people to come if we advertised it." Raven took a deep breath but didn't say anything. Emma's voice got softer, more intimate. "Ellie is interested in Drama, and if we could get enough money there might be a production next year she could be involved in." Emma smirked a little as Raven started to think about that. "There are only four booths left and we'll be at capacity."
"I can't make promises about the future. I never know if I'll still be around." Raven glanced over at the main desk and noticed Ellie glance their way. At least Raven didn't think their voices would carry that far. Was Emma's protection still up or did Ellie's power compensate for the telepaths cover up? Still, if Ellie suggested this, was it because of a vision or just something she thought about?
"It's three weeks, hardly a long term plan."
"For me that is." Raven turned to stare into Emma's eyes, more than a hint of blame in her own eyes as she spoke. "I live a very temporary life. I can't stay anywhere long. I'm a runaway slave after all." Raven turned her back to Emma and walked away, her head down as she thought about that. She wanted to be able to say she'd be there, that she could give Ellie that, but she couldn't. Emma didn't call after her to stop her and when Raven glanced over at the telepath before Raven stepped into the locker room she saw Emma hadn't moved and was staring at the ground.
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The next day Raven didn't have to work at the gym, as she had Sundays to work at the Market all day. She set up mid morning and had a relatively steady flow of work. In the moments she didn't have a model Raven started to work on a new item she was starting to sell, sketches of dragons and other more mythical creatures. While Raven preferred human and mutant models, she thought that something with a fantasy theme would sell as well.
Maybe even if she left she could leave these sketches with the school for the fair. The Drama department could just take all the profits.
Every so often Raven glanced around even when she had a model, to check for interested people. She'd normally smile at them to encourage them and occasionally shifted her seat so that people could see her drawing. With her serious art she hated people watching her make them, but the quick sketches weren't as personal to her.
The frequent comments of appreciation made her smile as she worked on drawing a young man. She carefully put her signature in the bottom corner and turned it so that he could see. He was actually a very good looking boy. He paid and left, looking at the drawing as he walked away, and Raven liked that he was smiling. His friend's muttering about wishing he hadn't spent all his money already was nice. She might get more work out of that one later.
A voice from behind her startled Raven and she tensed up as Emma spoke. "You are very good at that." Emma stood behind her still glancing at the easel. "I learned about art of course, mother figured that an upper class young lady should be able to appreciate art. Trips to Europe and endless museums, art shows, they were more about being seen than actually appreciating the art, but mother insisted." Emma moved around to the front of the table Raven kept her portfolio and price list on and Raven just started for a moment.
"Is your day incomplete if you don't hunt me down?" Her voice was cold. She'd really thought that with her having the day off the gym she wouldn't be seeing this woman today.
"Is this Ororo?" Emma ignored Raven's comment and was slowly flipping through the portfolio. Raven looked over the edge of the binder to see Ororo's back. She'd done that from memory, a tasteful nude that really showed nothing. She had taken her friend up on the offer to pose naked. It was actually a little surprising that Emma would recognize Ororo in that pose.
"She used to pose for me." Raven reluctantly answered the question.
Emma smirked while looking at the drawing, before turning the pages again. "Nude as well. I hear a lot of artists sleep with their subjects. Did you?"
"I never did." Raven's voice was a little colder and her mind was working frantically trying to remember if there were other drawings in her portfolio that would cause trouble. With relief she remembered pulling all the Tessa inspired art out of there and putting it in her personal portfolio.
Emma set the portfolio down and picked up the less serious one, her cartooning work. "Is there a reason you decided to stalk me at this job too?" Raven asked.
"I wanted to see your art. I'd seen one of Ellie the girl had in her possession, and a very pretty painting of Ororo in her attic. Having a nearly nude done in paints." Emma smirked. "Rather narcissistic."
"It was a gift." Raven moved to straighten the book Emma had moved out of place, opening it up again for the customers to see. "And she is a work of art herself, she hardly needs to be modest." She wanted to ask how Emma had ever gotten to see that painting, because Ororo hated the woman, but asking a question would just stretch out the conversation and Raven wanted Emma to just get to the point and go away.
"I think I'd like a portrait." Emma closed the cartoon portfolio, clearly not as interested in it. The blonde smiled at her and Raven's eyes narrowed for a moment before she remembered something. She was her own boss. Her own answering smile was a little cruel.
"No. Your money can't buy everything Emma, and I won't draw for you." Raven moved to her bag and pulled out her personal portfolio. "But if you're desperate for one of my pieces," Raven found what she was looking for. Her way to deal with her irritation at Emma had lately gone into a rather graphic art piece, posing Emma in a pose Raven had been forced to take in that club.
The drawing was of Emma tied to a cross, bloody strips out of her back from being whipped. The woman's eyes were pained and hopeless, how Raven had felt at the time as she had to trust Christy to take care of it all and unable to help herself. "Here. Enjoy." Raven tossed the page across the table.
Emma's hand reached down to pick up the page and turn it over to see it. Raven stared at Emma's face and was not satisfied by the reaction. Emma just studied the picture, no horror or disgust on her face. "Like I said, you are a good artist. The composition of this piece is rather dark, but you use your lines and the shadows so well to show emotions." Emma actually started to critic her work. Raven's fist clenched as her slap in the face move was ignored. "The pain and hopelessness springs right off of the page." Emma's finger caressed the page lightly. "The black boot in the edge of the page, hinting to what, Selene or Tessa, being the one to torture me is interesting. Which one did you imagine in that position, or," Emma's eyes moved up to capture Raven's, "was that supposed to be you?" It felt like Emma was very far into analyzing Raven with the evidence of the drawing to pull her conclusions from and Raven suddenly didn't think her insult was a good idea.
"What are you doing here?" Raven ignored the question she'd been asked, because she wasn't comfortable with any of the possible answers.
"It's three weeks." Emma set the picture down on the table face down and set a gentle hand on it for a moment. "I'm willing to front the cost of the booth and if you end up leaving before then I'll be out the money. It's hardly anything to me, but you wouldn't lose anything." Emma's arms crossed. "I will advertise you, give you free publicity in all our flyers, if you agree to this. It's what only our highest paying companies will be getting and it will increase your income both here and at the fair."
"If you have so much money why don't you just cut a check for the Drama department?" Raven started to notice how the others in the Market were avoiding her table and it irritated her that Emma was probably doing that, which hurt Raven's income as she offered to make Raven owe her to increase it.
"The political situation at the high school is," Emma grimaced just a little, "not what I would prefer. If I did that I would actually get cold shoulders for 'flaunting my wealth'. I'm a very successful mutant and there are those that are jealous. It is just easier to be subtle. I will donate a great deal anonymously, but I won't fund the program outright." Emma glanced down at Raven's portfolios. "By picking booths that will actually make money, and putting in the fine print that the school will get part of the profit, we will get more than just by selling booths to banks and other businesses that like exposure but don't really sell anything, at least not in the same way you do." Emma stared at her and it seemed like such an ordinary conversation that Raven found herself responding to it by nodding as she followed Emma's business decisions and could see the sense in them. "I was thinking of also selling raffle tickets for some things. If the demand it high enough we'd make more that way than by selling them outright."
Raven went quiet as she thought about it. No risk, and if Emma wanted her that badly for this she wouldn't be making any calls to America to tell anyone who she'd met here. "Okay." Raven said it quietly. "If I do it will you leave me alone?"
"I still have my gym membership."
"Just stop checking on my work schedule when you come in." Raven's back slumped a little as she asked this. It was a trade and she felt she didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. She had to bargain or see Emma every single day.
"I'll give you that IF," Emma smirked at Raven and Raven could see more of the Mistress Emma in that expression than she'd seen in Emma since running into her again. The cool calculating woman laid down another condition to freedom from her. "you agree to raffle something. A sitting, a painting like you did for Ororo. For that I won't even ask you to pay me back for the booth fee."
"Smaller." Raven thought about how long it would take, the worth of the gift, and did her best to not underprice herself. "An 11x14, and I'll have it framed." She'd learned how to do that herself to save money. "Ororo's took me weeks. Of course she had to miss a lot of sittings for missions, but still I can't give away that much time. I still need to make a living."
"Okay." Emma nodded just a little. "I'll start working out from three to five every other day." Raven nodded back, knowing she'd probably see Emma at least once a week with that schedule, but that was still an improvement. Emma picked up the picture Raven had given her and smirked. "Are you really this angry at me or do you feel you SHOULD be that angry with me?" Emma motioned to the picture. A customer stopped at the table before Raven could answer and Raven had to bite back her angry retort as Emma walked away.
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