Disclaimer: The wonderful characters and the good ship Serenity all belong to Joss Whedon, or Mutant Enemy, or Fox, or whoever actually owns them, and that person or entity is definitely not me. Written for amusement purposes only. No copyright infringement intended or implied.
Rating: T, with rough language warning. May go up for later chapters.
Summary: Eight months after Miranda, the crew of Serenity still struggles to adapt to the "new normal." Constructing, and deconstructing, moments of her life, River attempts to assimilate her new and sometimes painful feelings for Jayne. - - Rayne, but will touch on other pairings. Post-BDM, of course.
Chapter 11: Melted
"Explain to me again why I thought havin' ten pounds of screamin', crappin' baby on my boat was a good idea?" Mal inquired loudly, over the shrill wails of the extremely unhappy infant held in his tired mother's arms. The dining room reverberated with the baby's cries.
The first three weeks after the baby's birth, things had run smoothly. Little Hoban Jr. had been christened Hob, by Jayne of all people, and for some reason that was the nickname that stuck. Mal had been cautiously optimistic that this whole baby-on-board adventure was going to work out all right. The next two weeks convinced him that his initial take was the correct one, since the baby developed an unprecedented case of colic that caused unremitting screaming for six to eight hours of every night, beginning, without fail, just as supper was served. Simon was abashed that modern medicine provided no quick resolution to the problem. The only thing that seemed to ease the baby at all was constant walking. Inara was off the ship on business of her own, leaving Zoë, nursing and still recovering herself, and Kaylee to bear the brunt of taking care of Hob. Mal absolutely refused to do so for more than a few minutes at a time, up until now no one even bothered asking Jayne, and River and Simon were considered emergency baby caregivers only, seeing as how no one wanted a distracted or half-asleep pilot or surgeon if an emergency should arise.
Everyone disregarded the captain's question, since not only was it rhetorical, but it was the same thing he'd been asking every day for a week and a half.
Kaylee, whose turn it was that night, was staring at Jayne like a starving man stares at a thick, juicy steak, trying to think of a way to get him to stand in for her. Simon had offered to take Kaylee's place, but it soon became apparent that Simon was an important component in Kaylee's desire for a night off.
"Dishes," she offered calculatingly, figuring to start the haggling off low.
"Nope." Jayne was eating, the only one whose appetite didn't seem affected by the constant screeching.
River watched him, too, not quite as openly, but just as longingly. Her feelings for him had only intensified since Hob was born, but that strange, near-kiss on the bridge had apparently unnerved him, and he had been very careful to never be alone with her again. It didn't matter. They didn't need to be alone for him to send her emotions into overdrive. All he had to do was laugh, or quietly play his guitar, or dribble the hoopball around the bay, or throw scrap metal down into the hold, or even stroke his goatee in the habitual gesture that indicated either "What's in it for me?" or "I don't really give a fuck" that had become somehow both funny and erotic to her. When he sat at the table and cleaned his guns and knives River would feel a strange, trembly weakness sweep through her as she watched him polish the gleaming metals. She wanted him to concentrate on her like that…she wanted him to touch her with those competent, knowing hands.
"Garbage."
"Uh-uh."
"Dishes and garbage."
Jayne threw Kaylee a disdainful "give me a break" look.
"Dishes, garbage, and cooking."
"Naw."
River poked at her food with her chopsticks, sighing. She should probably volunteer to walk the baby since she wasn't getting any sleep, anyway. Not only did she lay awake thinking about Jayne, but the baby's constant crying was very wearing on her. His little mind was too undeveloped for coherent thought and she felt his infantile pain and confusion in a very visceral way. Simon had noticed her loss of appetite and the dark circles under her eyes, and Mal had caught a plotting error when he was reviewing her course outlines. This was enough to alarm both men, and Simon had even talked of giving her a sedative to make sure she got a good night's sleep. The thought of a full night's rest was very appealing…a deep sleep with no dreams of babies or muscular mercenaries.
Kaylee looked desperate as she pondered the enticements that she would be able to offer Jayne in return for his babywalking services. Suddenly her eyes gleamed with an unholy light and she dimpled sweetly at him.
"I'll give ya back your porn mags."
Simon spit his tea half way across the table.
Jayne's expression conveyed his outrage.
"That was you? I thought the post wasn't forwardin' 'em!"
"Don't ya think you've got enough naked women on your bunk walls? Anyway, you can have 'em back if ya take my turn with Hob tonight." Kaylee looked pleased with herself.
"Why the hell should I hafta put up with that –" Jayne stabbed his fork in the direction of the screaming baby – "to get back what's mine? Mal?" he appealed to the captain as arbitrator.
Mal, quite entertained, was shaking his head. "Don't drag me into this, Jayne."
River felt Zoë give an inward sigh and resign herself to another sleepless night.
"I'll do it," River offered suddenly. It was strange…she wanted to help Zoë, but she also really didn't want Jayne to have access to fresh pornography. "I'll stay up with the baby."
"I – uh, don't think that's a good idea, mei mei," said Simon, still wiping his mouth and mopping up the table. "You're already exhausted and we're going to be landing in a busy port tomorrow. I thought we talked about a sedative tonight."
They were approaching Persephone, where they would re-supply and have a meeting with Badger regarding a job.
"I'm fine, Simon." River replied irritably. "I don't need anything."
"No, you're not." He poured himself another cup of tea.
"Really –" River began to insist.
"He's right, little witch. You look like hell and seemed kinda shaky on the controls this morning. Get some sleep tonight. We'll handle the baby somehow." Mal reassured her.
"Well, I ain't doin' it." Jayne said mutinously. "You keep those mags, you little ke wu kun chong. I'll just buy myself s'more porn at Eavesdown tomorrow." He looked at Kaylee with a triumphant sneer.
"Oh, well, if ya feel that way," Kaylee sighed widely. "But you should just see all the tasty in that winter issue. Oh, Simon! Not again!"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&
River peeped down through the catwalk and watched as the big mercenary paced back and forth with the squalling infant stretched out against his upturned forearms, the tiny head cradled in his palms. He was making a slight jiggly motion, causing his well-developed biceps to bunch and release in a very pleasing manner.
He'd finally given in and said he'd stay up with the baby so Zoë could get some sleep. Kaylee had brought him the magazines as a peace offering and he'd tossed them down into his bunk without even looking at them, still royally pissed at her.
River had acquiesced to Simon and the captain, and submitted to the hypo of sedative. It wasn't an especially powerful one, and she'd been conditioned at the Academy to metabolize drugs slowly, so she thought she'd have a little time to check on Jayne in the cargo bay before she went to her bunk for the night.
She slipped down to her haunches and wrapped her arms around her knees, staying in the shadows and trying to remain obscured. She was curious and amused, wondering how Jayne would deal with the baby. He'd been in charge for almost four hours, now.
"There ya are, little man, you jus' settle down now…" she heard Jayne murmuring with a surprising degree of patience. The baby wasn't having any, though, screaming in infant rage, writhing a bit and kicking out his tiny feet, causing one of his little knitted booties to slip off and flutter to the ground.
"Hup, whatcha getting' undressed for, little 'un?" Jayne asked mildly, "You want your feet to get cold?" He then startled River by adding, "You been getting bad ideas from crazy girl?" She tensed, thinking that he had surely seen her. Her cheeks flushing, she waited for him to look up and say something mean and dismissive.
"Now she's pretty an' all, but don't let her give you no advice on footwear, dong ma? Big, bad men like us needs their boots." He eased the baby to one arm and leaned down cautiously to retrieve the bootie, exhibiting no evidence that he was aware of the crouching girl's presence above him. A warm glow suffused River's body and she hugged her knees tightly in giddy delight. Had Jayne Cobb actually just admitted he thought she was attractive?
"That's right, little guy, we're gonna make our own crew, jus' you and me, to hell with your momma and Mal. Cobb and Hob, the biggest, meanest hun dans ever to fly the black. We'll be famous from Core to Rim. Seventy-five percent of all takin's for me, twenty-five for you, and we'll be shiny." Jayne sat down on one of the mag crates, rested the baby in his lap, and slid the sock back on the tiny foot. Hob continued to wail, his little face screwed up and red. Jayne moved his hand almost tenderly over the satiny soft skin of the baby's leg.
"Why, no wonder you're cryin', you're cold all over!" Jayne exclaimed. "I got just the thing." He fumbled in his pocket, and River saw a flash of yellowy orange.
"There!" Jayne said in satisfaction as he worked the bunchy material around the baby. He stood up and lifted the little body to his shoulder, carefully bracing the still wobbly little neck, and another piece of River's heart melted away as she saw that he had enclosed the baby, the entire baby, inside the silly hat his mother had knit for him. The familiar ache in her chest and throat was back, and River felt that strange trembly and weak feeling sweep through her.
Her breath caught in a shaky gasp as Jayne began to pat the baby rhythmically on the back, his large, tanned hand almost dwarfing the tiny body. He looked so strong, so protective, as he walked lightly back and forth, cuddling the child. River realized something that had never occurred to her before: despite all surface evidence to the contrary, Jayne would be a good father to his children. He would lavish the same obsessive attention to them that he did to all the things he considered his own. His guns, his knives, his children…his…his… woman. River spread her fingers low on her abdomen, imagining her belly swollen with his child. The thought of carrying Jayne's baby inside her made her womb twitch in yearning. She shook her head with a muted moan. What was wrong with her?
She continued to watch, mesmerized, as Jayne began humming something soft and low into the little one's ear. Hob, who must have taken some comfort from the tighter swaddling and increased warmth, reduced his full-out screaming to squirmy, irritable fussing.
River strained to hear the song that Jayne was singing, and as he turned to walk the infant in the other direction, she was able to make it out. It was a tune that she'd heard him practicing on the guitar the other day. He'd stopped abruptly when he'd caught her watching him, realized there wasn't anyone else in the sitting area, and proceeded to high-tail it out of there. He actually had a very pleasant singing voice, lighter and smoother than his gravelly speaking voice. She wished she could make out the words.
Suddenly the baby reared up against the pressure of chest and hand, and with one last high-pitched complaint, curled up his tiny legs as tightly as he could against his stomach and let loose a long, surprisingly audible fart. Jayne broke off his song abruptly to angle his head at the baby on his shoulder, his expression one of offended dismay.
River suppressed a giggle, wondering what Jayne would do now.
The big mercenary waved a hand around as if to disperse the smell and gave a soft, philosophical hmph. "Whoo. So that's what was botherin' you. Well, like my mother always said: better out than in." He slid the baby down a bit and reached an apprehensive hand into the back of the hat to check the contents of the baby's diaper. He squinted down with a fearful grimace and then his face cleared. "All air. Good man! I think our future profitable association woulda hafta been cancelled if you shit all over my favor-ite hat."
River had to press her hands over her mouth to prevent her laughter from escaping.
Jayne patted Hob on the bottom a few times and the infant turned his face to snuggle his nose against the smooth skin under Jayne's ear. Hob made a few snuffling noises, and then River watched almost in envy as the little body relaxed completely against Jayne's shoulder in the instantaneous sleep of the very young. How wonderful it would be to rest her body against that strong, warm flesh…to know that secure comfort. River shivered, feeling the chill of the ship in its down cycle. Jayne continued to move around the room in the blessed silence.
"Thank you, Lord," Jayne sighed in relief a few minutes later, when he was convinced the baby was truly asleep. "Back to your cradle, young 'un."
River reversed soundlessly through the hatch as Jayne carried the baby around the corner and back to his nursery in the passenger quarters. She put her back against the rounded wall and slid into a sitting position. Just to be safe she would wait here until she heard him come back upstairs and go to his bunk. She could hear faint sounds from the nursery as Jayne put the baby down. Who knew he was so domesticated? He'd handled that baby like a pro. River yawned. She was so sleepy all of a sudden. She realized that Simon's sedative was finally starting to kick in.
River turned sideways to the wall and hugged her knees to her chest to stay warmer. Jayne had been so sweet with the baby…so patient and kind…was this the Jayne that hid behind that dark cloak that swirled between her mind and his? Had the sadness and loss of Miranda awakened this kinder, gentler creature? St. Jayne, she thought woozily. A saint with the temper of… a…a…bad-tempered person, and...and an extensive porn collection. She gave an unconscious little giggle and let her head rest against the wall. A few seconds later her mind registered the sound of footsteps, coming closer. It had to be Jayne; he was the only one still awake, she thought sluggishly.
"Oh, what the – I thought I heard – hey, girl, what are you doin' now?" Jayne's hushed voice was exasperated.
"Mm. Sleepy." River managed, blinking up at him.
"Well, go to bed."
"Can't…tired. S'mon gave me a seda …" It was too hard to explain.
"You can't sleep on the floor…'sides, you're shivering."
"You…take me to bed, Jayne," she murmured, letting her head flop down to her knees. There was silence, and then she thought she heard a low groan.
"C'mon, then," he mumbled finally, and River felt his hands slide behind her shoulders and beneath her crooked knees. Her body felt limp and dangly for a second, until she felt the solid warmth of his chest against one side as he stood up and held her to him.
"M' I heavy?" she murmured, feeling the strength in his big arms as he carried her through the passage. She giggled a little as she realized that her earlier wish to be held like the baby had come true. River snuggled her cheek against his shoulder.
"No," he replied tensely. "You don't weigh no more'n a feather, and you know it."
She realized that his even steps had changed into bumpy ones as he descended the stairs. Her slack face creased in a sudden frown. This wasn't the way to bed for either of them.
"Go to your bunk…" she tried to open her heavy eyes.
"Will you stop sayin' things like that, crazy?" He sounded like he was in pain. "I ain't takin' you to anyone's bunk."
"Where?" she asked dazedly, trying to leverage her head up by clutching at his shoulder with her hand. Where was he taking her?
"I'm puttin' you in the nursery where you belong, so hush up now," he said gruffly, elbowing the door open quietly and carrying her to the cot Zoë had set up next to Hob's cradle.
River sighed as he slid her onto the bed. The sheets were cool and she missed his warmth. She felt him arrange her heavy limbs and draw the covers up to her chin. Like parents in books, who tucked their children into bed with cocoa, kisses and admonitions against the nightly predations of Cimex lectularius.
"Kiss me," she whispered, almost fully asleep.
It was so quiet she thought he must have left, until, incredibly, she felt the brush of his lips against hers. Her last semi-cogent thought was: I really hope I remember that in the morning.
&&&&&&&&
Chinese:
mei mei – little sister
ke wu kun chong – obnoxious bug
dong ma – understand?
hun dans – bastards/jerks
A/N: Hey, Myth87! Per our discussion, did you like the further adventures of our favorite siblings, Jayne and Kaylee? (The only good kind of JayLee, lol.) Of course, with porn. Hmm. Porn, spit-takes, baby emissions…where won't I go? Just amusing myself…hope y'all are amused, too. Doped-up River, so cute. And finally, a sweet Rayne kiss! Thanks for reading and for the nice reviews! Gem