Internet shut itself off for two days before school decided it was worth fixing. Sincerest apologies (again). Just a warning: I'm attempting to write some dialogue in another language (which I clearly shouldn't try after my failed attempt for one German sentence in that chapter that time. Horrible memories) I'm really sorry if it doesn't make sense to you lucky bi-lingual people out there, but it was translated from a cheap online site; I did my best, so blame them for the rest. I put a translation in the story, in case it's that bad you have no grasp on what I'm trying to say.
"Land-Ho!" Called Alex from the Crows Nest. There was a momentary paused before, "Ship-Ho! She's coming about, and she doesn't look happy, Captain!" Alex cried out.
Jack, standing once more by the wheel, rolled his eyes in annoyance and turned to Will.
"Pray tell me, have you made any enemies of late?"
"No." Will replied perplexed.
"Ah." Jack turned back to contemplating the languidly approaching ship. He spun back to Will, "Have I?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
Jack frowned, picked up his spy-glass and searched the offending vessel until he found what colours they were flying.
"Alright you lot of mangy curs - hoist the flag quick-smart!" Jack bellowed to the crew, "We're noble citizens of France these days." He declared, strolling down to the main deck and planting himself in the middle of the deck with a challenging air. "You sail under the command of Capitaine Jacques Le'Sparrow, and those of you who can't be trusted to remember that name shall be referring to me as 'Shock.' Or anyone else who can't trust themselves to say anything that sounds remotely French. Alex, you brushed up on your skills?"
"Oui." Alex called down from the Crows Nest.
"Well, don't do it up there!" Rang out a call from Salt Peter, who was at the tiller. Alex aimed and dropped something very large and heavy at his head. She uttered something that Will thought sounded like 'Bon Appetite."
"Nice shot." Will heard Jack mutter under his breath as Will walked over to the eagle-spread Salt Peter. Unfortunately for the Helmsman, her aim was true and he spent the rest of the time in French waters unconscious in his hammock, with a rather large egg on his head.
"Here she comes." Jack muttered as the French vessel bore down on them. "I hope you have a loud voice!" He called up to Alex, but she was already swinging recklessly down on a loose rope. Several crew members drew in a quick breath as she hurdled towards a mast. Several crew members (including Will) almost had a heart attack as she let go of the rope, dropped a good two feet, gripped another suspended rope and swung down onto the deck. "Rope burn." She muttered as she blew her reddened hands and tucked them under her armpits, trying to stifle the pain. Though she was wearing tattered canvas gloves - of sorts - that covered her palm but left the back of her hand and her fingers free for movement, it didn't stop the friction and the heat.
"Was that skylarking really necessary?" Jack asked, a small smile playing over his face at her recklessness.
"Cut me some slack, Jacq; I just learned to do that." She grinned proudly. "Besides, our guests appear to be in a hurry, so I decided not to delay the proceedings." Alex replied cheekily. True to her summarisation –
"Sous quel est le nom du capitaine que vous naviguez?" Came the irritated call of the French crewman. (What is the name of the captain you sail under?) Despite Jack's orders to remain inconspicuous, the entire crew stopped working to follow the conversation, although precious few could understand what was being said. Luckily Jack's clothing did not mark him out as the captain, or it would be him that the questions would be rapidly fired at. Will noted that Jack had surreptitiously taken off his tricorn captain's hat and eased away into the crowd.
"Capitaine Jacques Le'Sparrow." Alex bellowed over the still water, but the officers did not look convinced.
"Vous volez le drapeau français, pourtant votre bateau a l'air de la marque anglaise. Etes-vous français?" (You fly the French flag, yet your ship looks like English design. Are you French?)
"Français?" Replied Alex flawlessly. "Oui!" She said in outrage. (French? Yes!)
"l'idiot peut être un perroquet et répète que je dit. Prouver vous être le français!" He demanded. (Any fool can be a parrot and repeat what I say. Prove yourself to be French!)
"Non parley vous francais." Alex replied back smoothly. (You can't speak French.)
"M'excuser!" Came the shocked voice of a very confused Commodore. (Excuse me!)
"Pouvez-vous moi recommander quelque bon champagne?" (Can you recommend to me some good champagne?)
"Quel est le sens de ceci!" Spluttered the outraged naval officer, his eyes bulging widely (and in a very unattractive manner, Alex noted with deep satisfaction). (What is the meaning of this?)
"Peut-être vous me comprenez mal. Peut-être tout vous buvez après le dîner est la pisse de cochon, vous la grosse grenouille pompeuse." Alex replied sincerely. (Perhaps you misunderstand me. Maybe all you drink after dinner is pig piss, you pompous fat frog.)
Jack - whose speaking of French was a little rusty, but whose understanding was excellent - was having a difficult time keeping an impassive face as he leant nonchalantly against a mast. Will looked baffled until another crew member with fairly limited French skills roughly translated what Alex had said, between fits of laughter. After the whispered translation, Will snorted in disbelief and sheer wonder at Alex's audacity. Telling a French Officer he couldn't speak French. Alex was going to get herself in deep trouble, and she wasn't wearing any dresses to help her out this time. She looked like any other crew member. He watched for the officer's reaction warily.
The Commodore decided that a retreat was the best approach to handle the bizarre situation being played out impertinently in front of his incredulous eyes. He disappeared off deck, only to emerge seconds later with another crew member.
"Do you speak English?" Asked the weedy man in heavily accented French, addressing Alex.
"No, I do not speak English." Alex called back in perfect English, glad to be able to speak her native tongue. French required delicate tongue and throat movements, which was difficult to achieve when you were yelling yourself hoarse over water. "Do you speak French, otherwise we're damned well in the wrong bloody place." Alex inquired cheerfully.
"I thought you said you couldn't speak English?" Replied the interpreter, a smirk over his dark features.
"I can't," Alex replied back straight-faced, "I only know how to say, 'I do not speak English' in English."
"Well, comprehend this; you are under arrest."
"Finally; a sentence that doesn't end in a question -Monsieur, may I now take the liberty of interrogating you?" Alex plowed on without a concern as to the Frenchman's answer, "What has this noble, loyal, patriotic French crew done wrong, apart from not speaking English?" Alex guestured behind her, to the stunned pirates who took their cue and hastily grinned in what was meant to be a non-threatening smile of good-will. With their rotting teeth and straggly beards however, it didn't score them many points with the French.
"You are a potential threat to the French government." The Frenchman continued unyeildingly.
"And who are you to arrest us?" Alex cried. "You're not the navy! What authority do you have in challenging us?"
All the crew on the French ship drew their pistols and muskets and cocked them menacingly at Alex.
"Aha. That kind of authority."
Jack, Will, Alex and the rest of the crew raised their hands slowly above their heads as the French men boarding, their blades and guns still drawn.
"Come on Jack, it was obvious that they were out to pick a fight anyway." Alex complained out of the corner of her mouth. Jack just rolled his eyes as he allowed himself to be bound and trussed by the French.
So what is to happen to the loyal crew of the Black Pearl? Judging by their inability to make port, perhaps they still be under a curse; pure and simple Bad Luck. And who be Jack's new enemy that he is to meet with? Or perhaps the enemy is actually the nemesis of another aboard the Black Pearl? (I have hinted at one of the perpetrators, waaaaay back near the start of the FF)
So hello, my fellow motley crew! I'm still a tad under the weather, so I'll hastily type some feverish gibberish then alas, retire for the evening. I just popped on the 'net, and lo and behold; possibly the most flattering reviews ever written in all time have sprouted and flourished in my inbox, although I still feel my work does not merit such high praise and commendation. Regardless, those reviews cheered me up splendidly, especially as recently I have been feeling as if my work is lacking; to me it seems boring and lacklustre. I've been reading a crime book (of all things) by Kathy Reichs, and she is a master of similes and metaphors, which reminded me to include a few more of the sort to colour my FF. I shall endeavour to accomplish just that, in the accompanying few chapters.
On a moreserious note: just a brief note of wonder; I'm so happy so many people are taken with Alex; I thought perhaps she'd be seen as an annoyance, an outsider or a Mary Sue. I'm glad so many like and identify with her character. Yay; no-one hates me! No-one thinks I butchered up the POTC characters! Happy! And now to answer reviews…
Pebbles1234 – yay! You're back! I thought maybe my FF was getting too boring for everyone, so I lost a few reviewers. But perhaps not, as you are back!
DCoD – I love Greek mythology. Any culture's myths and legends, really. There's so much history, and truth behind them; and often the situations and events and message still applies to modern society, even now. However, I think the Persephone will just be a passing reference; a fleeting mention. Perhaps not. (shrugs) We'll see, I guess…
FastFuriousChick – yay! A new reviewer! I admire your dedication in reading this for 3 and a half hours; I'm just flabbergasted someone would set aside several hours of their valuable time to read something I wrote. (overwhelmed) I'm also flattered you want me to help you co-author your first FF! I've never co-written before, but I must warn you, I'm in the last semester of year 12, so I'm trying to focus on studies (grrr; assignments). The only reason I update my DM FF so much is it's mostly pre-written. Once I come to the end of the pre-written story, my updates will be much less (sorry all). However, I'd be thrilled to help you:) At present though I'd only be good at editing (grammar etc; not too good on the spelling, as doubtless you can tell from the state of my FF), and perhaps suggesting some plot-lines, using your suggestions and ideas. And colouring the storyline somewhat; metaphors, specific detail, similes etc. So I fear the majority of the workload would fall on you, to determine characters, general or specific plotlines and the basic text – for this, of course, you can publish the FF in your own name, seeing as you'd be doing the majority of the workload :) Sorry if that doesn't work for you, but my parent's would kill me if I didn't get into the university they want! (trembles in fear of their wrath; I don't want to be a homeless drop-out) Let me know if you still want me to help co-author. By the tone of your review, you seem very funny and well-written and expressive; it'd be an honour!