500 Miles
Hope
By Princess Alexandria
More Xmen arrived, but Christy didn't move from her position right in front of the newcomers. She was a newcomer herself, but this felt remarkably like her job, so she took charge. "The pink woman is the leader." She called out to the people behind her without looking back to see who was there. She could see the Exiles were tensed and ready for battle. "You're outnumbered and outpowered here." Christy told them while shifting her sharp claw fingers on. "Blink, it doesn't have to be a battle. I just want to make sure you're safe to let stay." Her voice was gentler even as her body prepared for battle. She'd liked Blink and TJ in the comics, so if she didn't have to kill them it would be nice.
Blink looked a little tense and out of her element. "Well we have to," Blink started to talk and Christy took a step closer.
"Show it to me." She didn't want any cleaned up stories or outright lies. Mimic took a protective step between her and Blink.
"I have, what, maybe a dozen Xmen behind me?" Christy spoke louder and she could hear Scott had arrived, by his asking someone what was going on. "And I can kick ass pretty well myself. Do you really want to test me?"
"No Mimic, it's okay." Blink told him as the man continued to stand in Christy's way. He was pretty slow about moving to the side and Christy's hearing heard Scott talking, and Jean telling him to let her handle this. It made sense, because she knew more about what was going on.
Christy moved up to a nervous looking Blink that smiled at her just a little. "There are two people who don't belong here." Blink held up her arm and Christy gently took it to look at the red device that told Blink her missions. Christy had to move to the side to read it, and as she moved Blink spoke gently. "You're one of them aren't you?"
Christy didn't answer as she struggled to read the mission on Blink's arm first. Words ran across the device and Christy waited for the beginning to read it. The green words ran across the red screen. 'Don't let the new Mystique stay here and teach the wanderer control before she contaminates the realities any more than she has.' More words were moving across it, and Christy's mind was too busy to really read them. She saw Emma's name, but it was a brief mention of help too. Christy just scanned the message for words like kill after that. She didn't see any words like that.
"What is going on here?" Scott finally lost his patience and moved forward. Christy looked up, still holding Blink's arm gently to see him looking at all the new people and then glaring at her.
"Help has arrived." Christy spoke slowly, a tightness in her chest loosening as her hand squeezed Blink's and noticed the compassionate squeeze back as Christy addressed the Xmen assembled. "They're here to help me." It was at that moment that she remembered that Blink had portals too, they didn't cross dimensions on their own, but her power was closer to Christy than Nightcrawler's had been, and he'd tried to talk to her about control.
"So you are the wanderer?" Blink gently took her arm back and Christy stood in front of the woman she'd read about and nodded just a little. Her mind was still stunned by the fact that help had been sent to her. Her eyes watered a little, making seeing a little harder, and Christy took a deep breath before re-absorbing it.
For once her powers had worked better than she expected. Christy had only asked for help while jumping into it, and she thought the Healer was all the help she was getting. Christy turned her head to glance at T.J. for a moment, while Xmen drew closer and started to greet the new comers.
"I know what it's like to be lost." Blink spoke softly and Christy turned to face her again, feeling like a lost child being offered a friendly hand and a safe place to be. A tear passed her tight control and trickled down her cheek as she felt real hope touch her heart. Between Blink and Emma, Christy might just get to go home.
The Xmen moved in, talking to Blink as well, and Christy had to let the pink woman go, but she moved to the wall and kept her eye on the woman just to make sure she didn't disappear. Questions about who they were, how they got there, were all directed at the newcomers and Christy let the Exiles answer them even though she could have done it.
The brief flash of white out of the corner of her eye was warning enough and Christy wasn't surprised to hear Emma's voice. "How are you doing?"
Christy paused before the traditional answer of fine and reconsidered it. "It's been so hard to hold onto hope." Christy swallowed hard and looked down at the floor as she struggled with her emotions. "So very hard." Her hands shook, so Christy clenched them and wrapped her arms around her own body. "And now I have you and Blink, and it feels surreal, and it hurts, because hoping is so hard." A warm hand rested on her shoulder, and Christy didn't look up because she knew the expression on this Emma's face would be too much like her own lover's. "I'd almost given up. Every world was becoming worse than the one before, and I'd almost given up any hope. I was just going through the motions. God, I miss her so much, but the thought of an even worse world terrified me. I was afraid to try for home again."
"I heard." Emma spoke softly and Christy's body started to shake at the compassion in it. Christy was alarmed when the shaking got worse instead of fading, and Emma pulled her into a hug.
Christy clung to the double of her lover as tears trailed down her cheeks and painful sobs shook her body. Hope hurt like a burning in her chest, because she was so afraid that even with help she would fail yet again.
"Come on, let's get you out of here." Emma spoke softly, caressing her back, but Christy turned to desperately seek out Blink instead of moving with the arm encouraging her to walk.
"Blink." Her voice was rough as she said it. "Where's Blink?" She didn't see the woman. She did see T.J., and Heather was in sight now as herself and not the giant white beast.
"She's talking with Cyclops." A new voice spoke softly and Christy looked up at Sunfire, who was giving her a concerned look. "Explaining our mission. It looks like it's just Blink's mission this time." Christy felt embarrassed about her breakdown as she noticed a few more concerned looks from others who didn't approach. It made it easier to let Emma lead her out.
Christy found herself in Emma's room, alone with the woman that looked so like her lover. "They are offering the Exiles a place to stay while Blink works with us. Our new guests are a bit tired so Jean is convincing the others to just let them sleep." Emma told her after a moment of silence that spoke of telepathic communication. "Is it okay if T.J. visits Mystique? She's asked about the 'new Mystique', and she's a little concerned about her."
"I'm surprised she wants to." Christy sat down heavily on the couch. "She's trying to save her dad from being killed by her grandmother, that's the reality she's trying to undo."
"You know more about them than my Christine does." Emma sat down. "I asked her about them and she didn't even recognize them all. Do you?"
"I," Christy looked up and wondered how much this Emma knew about the comic books. She was hesitant to say anything. Her own Emma had listened to her talk about them with fascination. "I read a lot about them." Her friend Mark on her home world had hunted down the entire series for her after she'd admitted to liking blue women. T.J. quickly became a favorite. "I think having T.J. visit might be good for Mystique. Someone to show her that she still has family all over the different dimensions."
"Okay." Emma went quiet a moment, telling someone the decision. Christy was a little surprised that she was being allowed to make the decision. "My lover read a little about them as well. Enough to make it clear you knew what you were talking about with the mission." Emma turned a little in her seat and her words were softer. "Christy, I know I'm not your lover, but if you need someone to talk to I'm here." Christy took a shaky breath. "I heard about the other Emma you met, and I'll understand if you don't feel comfortable with me, but I do want you to know that I'm sorry you went through that, and that I am strong enough to listen to whatever you might need to say."
Christy stared at the blonde, searching for any sign of apprehension about the offer. Part of her wanted to take her up on it, but she suppressed that. "I have to figure out what's going wrong when I make a portal." She'd open herself up enough for that, but not more. "Maybe if you looked in my head you could tell me."
"I could do that." Emma nodded, but Christy got the sense that the woman was a little disappointed that her offer of help wasn't taken more personally.
"Thank you." Christy spoke softly, a hint of apology in her voice. She just couldn't trust this fast, not again.
After a brief and calming discussion of less traumatic things Christy took a deep breath and lowered her mental shield. She did it without saying anything, and she waited as a slow and hesitant mental touch indicated that Emma had noticed. "Are you sure you want to do this now?" Emma asked gently, while the telepath's mental touch warmed Christy.
"I want to know why I'm always screwing up. I've never once done it right." Christy said quietly and tried to focus on the moments when she'd gone through her portal. Her awareness of the outer world started to fade as Emma took them both into Christy's mind.
……………..
The street Christy found herself on was littered with rubble and glass. Smoke trailed up into the air from several different fires, and the sound of crackling fire and bursting windows was clear in the otherwise quiet streets. Christy took a few steps further into the middle of the street and looked down the road, trying to determine what world this was, because she'd seen three like this.
"This is New York." Emma spoke up and Christy turned to look at the blonde now in her mind with her.
"Magneto did this. It's okay, he only got Manhattan." Christy noticed Emma's eyebrow raised at Christy's lack of concern. "I landed here in the middle of this mess first. My double was alone and running for her life from some humans that noticed her eyes glowed and they wanted to take out their hatred on her." Christy glanced over at what now was a familiar alley. "I killed one of them and then managed to run into the Xmen."
"This isn't the beginning." Emma moved to bend over and picked up a half scorched Barbie. It was all dressed in white. Christy stared at it, remembering it from a different world.
"She doesn't belong here." Christy took a few steps closer to Emma and reached out for the Blonde doll wearing a tin foil crown and all white clothes. Her fingers moved to try and straighten mussed doll hair gently, caressing her. "I lost her long before this place."
"Where?" Emma asked and Christy looked up, feeling a little lost as she stared back down at the familiar Emma Doll.
"My home world." With the doll clutched in a fist Christy watched the buildings shift and change, becoming different destroyed buildings. Tacoma came into focus as New York faded away. "This is where it all began." Christy spoke softly as she watched a memory of herself and a few of her tribe walking down the hill heading for the water. "This is where it all ended too."
"Shall we follow them?" Emma said and Christy just sighed. "We'll need to get closer, to hear your thoughts as you create your first portal."
"I can tell you what I was thinking. Some things you never forget." Christy started after the others with Emma, but the scenery shifted as only a telepath can make it and she found herself suddenly standing on the rocky beach, in her memory and yet apart from it. It felt like a dulled memory as she lived it again.
The asteroid streaked through the sky and Christy just stared at it without blinking as it passed overhead. Her hand wrapped around the small Barbie doll that one of the children of the tribe gave her, one dressed in all white to represent the woman she'd told a few stories of. Christy heard the explosion and pulled the doll up to her eyes, remembering the pride the child had in having a gift to give her after Christy's Mark had died. The small tin foil crown was out of place, but Christy just used her other hand to straighten it on Queen Emma, that's what the little girl had called her, not the White Queen.
"Maybe in a thousand years aliens will find you and think you're an important religious artifact or a representation of our queen." Christy told little Emma with a small smile as she heard the explosion. "Good bye Queen Emma."
The force hit her at that moment and Christy was pulled out of the memory to find herself standing on a quiet green hillside with Emma beside her.
"Queen Emma? Was that your last thought?" Emma asked, this time she held the doll, caressing it's hair.
"She was a gift." Christy smiled just a little as she thought of the other Emma she'd found on the other side of that portal. That Emma was a gift as well.
Emma spoke up and Christy looked up into the telepath's eyes. "Tell me about the world you landed in."
"I landed on the beach near her beach house. She found me." Christy turned on the hill to see a view of that beach in the distance. She could see her form tossed to the ground, and the double that had been innocently taking a walk screamed almost loud enough to hear in the distance as she was pulled back into the portal. "It wasn't without its sacrifices." Christy sighed heavily as the portal closed on the doomed woman. Lights suddenly filled the beach and Christy watched as people rushed out with guns to circle her memory self. "Or its misunderstandings. They thought I came to assassinate her at first. Then when they saw me they thought I'd been attacked. My double had been there on a vacation and she'd been on the beach before, she was recognized, or I was." A tall woman in white moved to walk out to her and kneeled beside her memory self. "My Queen could tell it was something more, even blinded to me by my shields she could tell."
Christy turned away from the memory, hurting, and tried to take control. The sky darkened and night came in suddenly as they shifted to another time on that beach, years later. "I arrived here, and I left from here." Christy turned back and could tell they'd see nothing from the hill. "Tonight the man responsible for sending an assassin to kill my lover came to do the job himself. This is the night that I failed her and left her alone to face them. This is the night when my job and my role as her lover collided to cost us too much. I should have had backup there, I should have known that we couldn't just take a long weekend getaway. If I had been thinking like security and not her lover we would never have faced them." Christy took a shaky breath. "She had a surprise for me, and I didn't want to ruin it by demanding details and escorts. She just wanted to be Emma for a weekend, and I should have never agreed."
A pale hand rested on her shoulder and suddenly they stood on the side of the beach house. The Emma next to her gasped a little at seeing the attackers and Christy swore she felt the blonde flinch as Memory Christy was tossed into the portal.
Christy found her frame of reference changing again as she relived it. Christy's eyes caught her lover's now opened eyes longingly, desperately, and in that moment she realized that she'd lost. Christy screamed for her as she hit her own portals cold surface and the familiar airless, cold, disorienting sensation filled her. "EMMA!"
"CHRISTY!" The words were muffled, but Christy could feel the soft touch of Emma's frantic mind, felt the love, fear, and then their connection failed.
Christy watched herself slam into her double in the next world, and she stood quietly as the Emma with her watched her kill a man. Emma said nothing about it, just turned to Christy and touched her as that world faced into a warm and elegant room that never existed in Christy's mind. "I felt her touch you, your lover. She was afraid for you. She was scared you'd be alone in hell." Christy just nodded, her mind still treasuring even the memory of a mental touch from her Queen. "I need to see more." Emma spoke and it sounded like the woman was already seeing something that Christy didn't.
"The next one isn't as traumatic. No one dies." Christy answered and felt the pressure in her mind increase as Emma sought that moment out. Christy helped her by thinking about it more actively.
There was no watching the next one, Christy was slammed into the past to relive it. "Keep her in mind." Emma yelled over the wind. Christy took one moment to look at the woman, looking so young in her amazement in Scythe. So young and so beautiful. Keeping Emma in mind had never been a problem for Christy.
Her eyes moved to her doubles wide eyes, eyes that seemed more aware than Christy expected her to be. "Sorry." Christy mouthed to her.
"Thank you." That woman told her and then Christy just turned and ran for Scythe. Dragging out the goodbyes just made it harder and she needed to be able to concentrate. Emma, I'm coming home, She mentally called out. She felt a different Emma, her friend's mental touch, before the ride began again. The light, shadows, and turbulence that marked the crossing of realities.
"What did you find on the next world?" Emma asked as Christy stood in the middle of an alley. Her ex walked passed it with a younger Christy, and Emma's words trailed off. "You went to the past?"
"Yes." Christy shook her head a little as she watched her ex walk by with a clearly irritated Christy, proof that it was her in that body. "I spent a day making my plan and then I hunted down your double in college. She was new to her powers, but she was more than willing to train so she could help me."
"So is that your ex?" Emma asked, taking a step out so she could still see the others. Christy only hesitated a moment before following.
"Yeah." Christy felt awkward having Emma see Michelle.
"You look so innocent." Emma spoke while looking at the two crossing the street.
"Well, in this world so did you." Christy sighed. "Things change."
"They certainly do." Emma spoke slowly, and turned to Christy with a sigh of her own. "Shall we do it again?"
Christy nodded, and focused on her trip out of this world, but her anxiety increased to the point that she felt Emma having to help her focus. "Just the way in and the way out. Don't look around." Christy spoke firmly as the city street started to turn into a darkened winter night.
Christy found herself walking in the woods along with a younger Emma and Astrid. The woods were quiet and Christy's scream echoed, birds and the other animals fleeing filled the silence between the first and second scream as Christy fell in the lights and shadows of her portal once again. "Emma…" She prayed as she left the younger world. She focused on an older, more confident Emma.
A moment later she found herself staring up at the White Queen. The memory shattered as Christy fought to keep what happened in this world to herself. An older and gentler Emma stood before her and helped her stand up. "I remember those days." Emma spoke quietly and looked away from her. "but what my Christy told me, I want you to know I never… Sex was rather free there, it wasn't necessary to force anyone."
"They didn't do it because it was necessary, they did it because they could." Christy's voice was cold and bitter. "Let's just get out of here."
"One thing about being a victim of this type of abuse." Emma spoke and Christy wished she wouldn't. "It doesn't matter what you may or may not have done. It's never your fault."
"How nice, now can we go?" Christy gritted her teeth and focused on leaving, and the morning at the pool, not wanting this Emma to see anything else. It was the only thing she could do for her double in this world, to spare her lover pain.
The pool house was warm, and in the winter that was very appreciated. Christy found herself looking at Raven, before walking into another portal. The world faded and it felt strange to not have an Emma there to send her off, just a Mystique and her heartbroken double. The swirling lights and cold of her portal never felt more lonely. In her mind she prayed for some god to take care of the people she was leaving behind in this world.
Christy stared at the headstone again, and stood up wiping the grave dirt from her hands, before turning to see Emma standing beside the grave as well. "I'm glad that you and my double are together, because otherwise it was just them." Christy turned to stare at the headstone again. "She didn't even know she could have left. They died and they didn't need to."
"Did they die together?" Emma asked and Christy shook her head. "Christine had to bury her lover, her wife, after finding her body and seeing how she'd been tortured. Christine buried her and then willed herself to die. That's something I wish I didn't know I could do."
"She must have never been so alone." Emma spoke slowly and Christy looked up at the blonde, seeing a thoughtful expression that reminded her of her own lover putting together the pieces of a puzzle.
"She still had Mystique. They weren't lovers, but they were close. She left her. Died right in front of her." Christy spoke and watched that being considered with a nod of the blonde telepath's head. It was almost like Emma expected it.
"There is just one more left isn't there?" Emma asked and Christy had to look away from the sky to see her. "I think I see what is happening, but lets look at the last one."
"You see something?" Christy stared into blue eyes, a bit amazed. Emma gave her a small smile.
Christy found herself holding Mystique's unconscious body to her own as she ran for the portal. Christy jumped into the portal with bullets following her and focused on one thing, "Help." She called out as she clung to Mystique's body, hoping the woman could make it to medical help in time.
Emma and Christy then were standing on the Institute grounds and watched as the Healer worked on Mystique. "You are controlling the portal. You've gone where you were focusing every time." Emma spoke and Christy stared incredulously at the woman.
…………….
"What do you mean I controlled it?" Christy asked after a moment of tense silence. She stared at the blonde that looked so much like her own lover, but Christy's eyes were cold. She didn't want to hear that she had control, because clearly she didn't.
"There is a pattern to your stray thoughts and where you ended up. It's a consistent pattern. I started to be able to anticipate what would happen as I listened in on your thoughts while jumping into the portal." Emma sighed and seemed to relax, while leaning against a tall back chair that hadn't been there a moment ago. They were still in Christy's mind, and the chair looked like it was from the dining room at home. "Your lover touched your mind with fear and desperation for you, she influenced your arrival in a destroyed Manhattan. Her fear that you'd be alone and in danger affected your own thoughts, and you found yourself alone and in danger."
Christy's eyebrows drew together, not seeing a strong connection, not as strong as Emma claimed. Emma spoke again. "Then you left there with a stray thought of how young that Emma looked when she was impressed with your powers. You ended up in the past. Do you see a pattern yet?" Emma's eyes seemed to soften as Christy sat at the dining table that had slowly appeared with other chairs. "Then you tried to compensate by pointing to an older and more confident Emma, and I learned all about confidence at the Hellfire club." Emma pulled a chair out. "Then you left thinking it was strange that there was no Emma, just a heartbroken double and Mystique."
"And I ended up in a world with no Emma, a Christine that died of a broken heart, and a Mystique." Christy spoke slowly as she filled it in. "Oh God." Christy's voice cracked as she saw it all now.
"Telepaths learn to control their stray thoughts." Emma spoke gently. "But you never did. It's something we will need to work on. You see something and you process it immediately, it's human, it's normal, and it's what keeps you from finding home. We need to train you to focus harder and block those thoughts out." Emma reached out and Christy slowly put her own hand out on the table so Emma could take it. "Keep working on your journals, and I'll start working with you on focusing and meditation. I'm sure that Blink will have her own ideas of what you need to learn, and we can discuss them with her later."
"I did this?" Christy said it quietly, thinking of the other versions of herself and the damage her presence caused. Raven was foremost in her mind, but the others had been touched by this as well.
"You will learn to control this, and since even other people from other worlds have come to say Mystique can't stay, you will have time to learn to do it. Mystique will need to be at her best before she can leave." Emma's voice was soft and her caress on Christy's hand was gently as it pulled away. Christy took a deep breath and nodded. Mystique was at least one good thing she did, she saved her. Raven and the others might have been better off never meeting Christy, but Christy did help Mystique.
"Can I speak to my Christy about this?" Emma asked and Christy looked up. "If this ever happened to her, well…"
"Of course." Christy wasn't expecting some sort of patient confidentiality, but it made her feel better that Emma asked.
"Did you ever get your dinner?" Emma asked and Christy shook her head no, as the world shifted and she found herself out of the astral plane and back into Emma's room. "You could join us."
"I think I need to talk with Mystique." Christy declined gently.
"Okay, I'll meet with you and Blink tomorrow and we can work out a training schedule." Emma's head tilted a little. "And it couldn't hurt for you to train with us. When you get home you have a battle on your hands."
"I know." Christy stared into blue eyes with a resigned look.
"Why are they attacking your lover?" Emma asked.
"Politics. My Emma has great dreams for the future and not everyone agrees." Christy stared down at the soft looking rug. "Some people think their dreams are the only dreams."
"I suggest you train with a few of the Xmen, and plan a strategy for when you get home. I'll help arrange sparring sessions for you." Emma stood up and Christy took just a moment before she did as well. It would help, but she hadn't even taken time to focus on what would happen once she got home. Maybe it was time to consider it.
………………
Christy crept into the med lab as silently as possible, seeing that Mystique was laying down. It was when she got closer that she saw the woman had her eyes opened and was staring at the wall, lost in thought. "Hey." Christy spoke softly, hoping to not startle Mystique.
"I had a visitor." Mystique spoke quietly as Christy moved to the side of her bed. Christy could see Mystique was distracted and tired.
"TJ." Christy filled in that she knew. "She's reminds me of you." Christy's hand moved to caress a blue arm. "Playful."
Mystique's eyes moved to Christy, and they didn't look very playful at the moment. It was a serious looking Mystique that stared at her. "She says she's the granddaughter of a double of mine."
"Yeah." Christy smoothed the blanket over Mystique gently.
"You see this often?" the blue woman asked and Christy had to take a moment to guess what Mystique was asking.
"What? Different worlds? People who lived different lives? Yeah, I've seen it a few times. I've met three Mystique's in my life, and five Emma's. I've met several of my own doubles, some more completely than others." Christy sighed. "I thought you'd like to meet her. She's someone to be proud of. I wanted you to see her, to know that even lost like we are, we're never really alone."
"She has my eyes don't you think?" Mystique spoke and Christy looked up puzzled, before she saw the hint of a smile.
"Yeah," Christy smiled back just a little, thinking the dark blue skin was a more obvious family feature.
"So are you going to work with her friend Blink?" Mystique asked after a long moment of silence.
"I think so." Christy answered while her hand moved to hold Mystique's. The woman was healing a bit faster than normal, but it would be a while before she could leave the bed without risking opening a wound. "Are you okay down here? Need anything? Magazines? Books? Porn?"
"I'm not really healthy enough for porn just yet." Mystique smiled just a little. "But I wouldn't mind something to read, or maybe some movies."
"Anything special?" Christy would bring whatever Mystique wanted before breakfast. With the new training Christy was going to have to leave Mystique's side a bit more. Maybe she could talk TJ and Christine into taking shifts being with Mystique.
……………
"Can you show me your portal?" Blink asked as they sat in the empty classroom.
Christy sighed. "Not really. I'm not powered up yet." Blink's eyebrow rose a bit. "I have to power up to make one, and it takes time. I just made one a few days ago, so it'll be a while before I can make another one." She didn't elaborate on how she powered up.
"Oh." Blink looked a little stumped by that. After a moment she stood up. "Well, how about I show you mine?" Blink took Christy's hand and helped her stand, not that Christy needed help. "A quick trip to the pool and back." Blink spoke and the portal formed under them.
Christy felt a moment of panic at being sent through a portal, but the pool came into focus a fraction of a second later. She looked around at the sky, and the people walking around. She knew that Blink didn't send them to another world, but since she'd never teleported without a horrible disappointment on the other side she wasn't relaxed.
"I say we drop in on TJ and wake her up." Blink smiled just a little and Christy forced herself to nod in approval. The portal crossed over her again and Christy tried to pay attention to the way it happened so quickly, before they appeared in a darkened bedroom with a very tangled up TJ in bed.
"Go away." TJ muttered as Blink said hello.
"It's nearly ten." Blink told the tired blue woman in the bed and Christy must smiled a little to see the light teasing and the way TJ just tiredly curled up in bed. Blink turned to Christy and made no attempt to keep her voice down. "Shall we leave grumpy here and go on with our day?"
"Yes please." TJ answered for Christy and Christy just stared at the woman, carefully taking in the family resemblance. TJ's eyes opened and Christy just nodded hello, before Blink took her hand and they were off again.
"You move so fast." Christy took a moment to speak as she stared out at the grounds from the roof of the main building. "If I blinked I'd miss it." Christy turned to see Blink smirk just a little. The power probably lead to her name, chances were Blink wasn't named that at birth. In fact Christy vaguely remembered another name, but not clear enough to recall it. "My portal is a bit different. I'm inside long enough to fall, and more than long enough to notice it."
"Well, you are traveling further than I do." Blink sat down near the edge of a roof and looked out at the trees. "But the Timebroker makes our dimensional hops relatively smooth."
They stared out at the grounds in silence for a moment, and Christy took the time to study the profile of Blink as well. The Exiles were fighting for the same thing she was, a way home. Christy felt a little bad for them, understanding the pain. She at least had the power to go home on her own, with their help. No one else was making her dimension hop to right vague wrongs.
"Have you ever teleported with other people like this?" Blink turned and seemed to shake off her thoughts and focus on the lesson at hand.
"No." Christy had very little contact with the teleporter that worked security with them at home, he was on another team.
"Let me explain how I'm doing it." Blink said and Christy found herself listening to a brief lecture about visualization and determination on the roof of the Xavier institute.
…………….
The next day Emma and Blink spent most of the time together with Christy talking with each other. They discussed portals, and all the connections between telepathy and teleportation, in the mental discipline, and Christy quietly listened.
That meeting ended with a plan, one that the two women understood and one that Christy was just going to go along with. They sounded like they knew what they were talking about.
Once that meeting was over Christy held back as Emma went to her class and Blink went to meet TJ and the others. She slowly made her way down the hallways to the library and moved to find a book on teleportation, so that maybe next time others spoke she could relate. Her own Emma had been more experiential in her approach to training Christy, and now they were talking theory. Christy didn't know theory.
Part of her was disappointed in her own lover for having so little time that they never delved this deeply. It hadn't seemed necessary, since Christy was never supposed to go through her own portal again. It was her one major complaint about being Emma Frost's lover, that her lover worked so hard that free time was limited. She loved her blonde telepath dearly, missed her horribly, and felt so let down now, realizing that Emma most likely had been capable to teaching Christy more, but this meeting or that presentation always got in the way. Christy had held her tongue for years, understanding, thinking that it was just a night, or just a weekend, being taken from her. Now it was apparent it was far more, those meetings and presentations, those visits to other cities, they all lead to this mess. Christy could have known how to go home if she'd been trained more thoroughly, but her Emma wasn't a teacher anymore.
Christy sighed heavily and sat down, but she didn't open up the book she'd found, instead she let her mind wander down the painful road of regrets. She remembered missed dinners, holidays briefly celebrated later, and the anniversary where she was finally getting her lover's undivided attention being crashed by people that disagreed with Emma's politics.
Christy's eyes watered as she let that traitorous thread of thought hit her and Christy leaned forward in the chair. Her elbows resting on the table and her head in her hands, Christy let herself cry. Her body shook as she struggled to keep it silent, and part of her cursed herself for breaking down again.
Christy and her Emma had made big mistakes with these powers, and they were both paying a cruel price.
…………..
"They could probably get you your own room." Christy spoke as Mystique stood, her body hunched over just a little, showing she wasn't as healthy as she'd pretended to be when Hank was there. "But I don't mind sharing."
"Training going well?" Mystique asked as she slowly shifted while taking off the hospital gown. Her body formed pants and a loose shirt. It was a rather casual and comfortable look, and one that Mystique looked a bit foreign in. Christy would never see her own Mystique in loose fitting clothes.
"Seems to be, but it's hard to tell. Emma says I'm starting to control my thoughts better, but the only way to know is to leave here, and I don't feel confident enough for that. We just barely started." Christy moved forward and held Mystique's arm to steady her. Her voice softened. "Are you really ready to leave the lab?"
"If I have to stay one more night in this lab I may have to kill someone, and that wouldn't go with that Xmen image you've planted about me." Mystique's voice was low and dangerous and Christy just nodded.
"You probably should stay another week. You were shot, and you weren't all that healthy before you got shot." Christy pointed out wearily. Mystique's patience with the hotel bed only lasted three weeks. When she received a dirty look from Mystique Christy gave up her weak attempt at getting Mystique to see reason. If the woman started to backslide she'd pick her up and carry her back down to the medlab, but she'd give Mystique the chance to prove she could follow doctor's orders first.
"You need anything, you ask." Christy moved to stand beside Mystique, giving the woman someone she could lean on if she needed to as they made for the doors.
"I need a room to sleep in." Mystique smiled just a little. "I was thinking of yours."
"That's fine." Christy spoke quietly, thinking maybe then she'd be able to get a full nights sleep. Having a warm body next to her helped. She'd always slept better on the nights where Mystique slipped into her bed on the last world.
They managed to get down the hall carefully, while making it look casual. Christy supported a lot more of Mystique's weight than one would be able to guess as they stood waiting for the elevator.
"The minute you push yourself too hard I'll carry you down to the med lab myself." Christy spoke quietly as the elevator doors closed with them inside.
"Kinky little thing aren't you." Mystique's voice was a little clipped. "And overconfident."
"Hey, you're injured." Christy grinned just a little while staring at the floor readout above the door. "Only chance I'll get to beat you down and carry you around." Her mind wandered to her own Mystique, although that distinction was fuzzy, because she was considering this one hers as well. Even though Christy was stronger and faster, she never had won a sparring match with any Mystique. Maybe with four holes in Mystique it would be easier, but Christy hoped Mystique wasn't that stubborn.
………..
"Stop mother henning me." Mystique snapped at her when Christy just raised an eyebrow in question about the blue woman taking a shower. "I can manage to stand up long enough to shower, and I'm sick and tired of sponge baths."
"Oh, but I was looking so forward to giving you one." Christy spoke with flat sarcasm. Mystique was far from a good patient, but she did stop snapping at Christy as she went into the bathroom.
The water started and Christy sat back on the couch with a sigh, hoping that Mystique was taking her pain medicine as well, because the pain was making her grumpy.
The soft knock on the door was familiar and Christy sighed just a little as she got up from her comfortable spot on the couch to answer the door for her double.
That Christine stood at her own doorway patiently. "I just wanted to tell you I'll be away for the weekend, but Emma said she plans to continue the training with just you." Christy just nodded. The meditation and focus training had included them both, because Emma was cautious. She didn't want her own lover lost like Christy was someday. The way Christine stood at the doorway, shifting just a little from foot to foot seemed like she wanted inside, so Christy stood back and let her double inside.
"Mystique is showering." Christy explained the water running as she closed the door.
"I'm leaving to meet with my Mystique for training." Christine smiled just a little. "I can't wait until she sees the progress I've made." Christy nodded, aware of the progress because she'd worked with Christine a few times. "I just wanted to…" Christine sighed. "Nobody but the professor and Emma know where I'm going, but I just wanted you to know. The others think I'm taking some me time. I don't even know what that means, but the professor is claiming I need a break from the school. We really need to come up with a better cover."
"Have you considered claiming you're out recruiting a student?" Christy asked.
Christine gave one brief humorless chuckle. "Somehow I think Scott would object to me out meeting poor impressionable students by myself."
"Okay, well, I don't have anything better for you." Christy shrugged and sat back down on the couch.
"Don't worry about it, when this cover falls apart the Professor will have to consider a half truth, that I'm in training." Christine sat down on the chair and leaned forward. "How are you doing? Sleeping any better?" Her voice was softer.
"I'm fine." Christy sighed and then her mind started in another direction, something she had learned to curse because her wandering mind was something she was learning to fight, but it came with an idea. "Could you do something for me while you're gone?"
They talked for fifteen minutes, and while Christine was a little reluctant she agreed to talk with her Mystique for Christy. Just a few questions Christy needed answered.
When the water stopped running her guest stood up and moved to leave. Mystique came out later with damp slicked back hair and a silky looking pair of red pajamas, a button top and shorts. "I'm tired, I'm just going to turn in." It was only nine, so Christy guessed that the pain medicine had been taken. That was good.
"I'll write for a bit." Christy turned off the main light and kept the small reading light on. Her journal in front of her she started to write about the world she wanted to see again while Mystique crawled into bed. It was two more hours before she tried to join her, well before her normal time to attempt sleep, but Christy found the sound of Mystique's light breathing soothing.
…………
It was still dark in the room when Christy woke up, feeling someone cuddling up to her side. She looked down to see Mystique's arm over her body, holding her, and while they'd found themselves in similar situations before, there was something more tender about it this time. Christy pulled her arm around slowly and held the older woman to her gently and sighed.
"You know, if I were a bit healthier, I'd consider doing more than cuddle with you." Mystique's voice was quiet as she spoke and Christy smiled just a little at hearing it. Now she knew Mystique's position was by choice.
"And if I weren't incredibly taken I might consider it." She whispered back. Part of her cringed at thinking about her lover at that moment, knowing she'd been unfaithful. She just had to believe what happened with Tessa and that Emma had to be forgivable. "I know I'd consider it." She spoke a bit more softly, trying to convey her affection in a safe way.
"I wish I didn't hear that from you Christine's so often." Mystique sighed and Christy felt regret and sympathy for the shapeshifter. It did verify a hunch she'd had though.
"I wish I didn't have to say it." Christy admitted quietly. "I've had to say it twice."
"Your own Mystique?" Mystique asked quietly and it didn't really need an answer.
"It's never easy, there is a lot in you to be attracted to." Christy hugged Mystique one armed and gently kissed her forehead.
"Well I can be anyone." Mystique's voice was slightly more upbeat, and Christy couldn't tell if it was faked or not.
"Well yeah, but I kinda think blue skin is hot." Christy teased, trying to get the serious air broken and she felt Mystique laugh just a little. "Red hair is pretty hot too."
Mystique cuddled a little closer and spoke softly, tenderly. "You've been away from home for over a year now. My Irene used to forgive me little flings if it had been that long." A gentle hand caressed Christy's arm. "Or is it because you were raped?" Christy's body tensed a little. She hadn't really told Mystique about that. "Because a gentle and patient lover can help you heal, I know this. I've been there."
Christy really had no idea what to say in response, and it felt like the silence was stifling. Her eyes were wide and her body a bit tense as Mystique gently caressed her arm. "I… ah…"
"It isn't hard to see if you know what to look for. It was rather recent for you, that world before mine." Mystique told her gently and turned over carefully, letting go and facing away. "Just know that I'd never hurt you. I owe you a lot, and I really do like you. Consider it."
It took Christy a few nervous moments before she moved closer to carefully spoon Mystique from behind, moving her arm around the woman. "I can't. I just can't. I have to go home and we'll have too much to deal with as is." Her eyes became teary and her voice raspy. "But I like your closeness, it helps. Can I just have that?" Mystique's fingers threaded through the fingers of the hand holding her in response, and it took a while, but Christy fell back to sleep.
……………
It was nearly Halloween, her powers were fully charged, and Mystique was still recovering from two years of a limited diet. The older shapeshifter was moving easier, starting to shift more quickly, and the bullet wounds were faded scars that she said would be disguised and completely gone in another month.
Christy was still in training, and while her mind was a bit better, it took a lot to hold stray thoughts out. That was why they weren't leaving yet. Blink didn't seem to mind, because as missions go it was a rather easy one for her. No danger, just teaching a couple of hours a day and the rest of the day was hers.
Reading her homework on meditation was a bit relaxing on its own, but when Christy looked up from the table in the library she was working in her breathing stopped and her eyes widened.
"Tessa." The word came out as a whisper as the dark haired woman stood in the doorway looking at her. Feelings flooded through her, a spike of adrenaline at the studying look and familiar stance. Tessa was older, but it took a moment for Christy to also think that this was a different Tessa as well.
The small feeling of safety faded with that realization and the small smile faded on her face as she strove for a more appropriate response to a stranger.
"I heard you'd asked about me." Tessa spoke calmly while stepping into the library. "That it was the first question you asked."
It took just a moment for Christy to remember the day she'd arrived in this world and how she'd measured the Xmen's trustworthiness by their answer about Tessa. It made this a little awkward, but Christy went with honesty. "I needed to know you weren't in the Hellfire club anymore." Christy sighed when Tessa just gave her more silence to talk in. "I went to a world where you were, and the Professor in that world was a complete bastard. If you had been stuck there I wouldn't have stayed here. If this Professor left you there, well what I saw of that place fit its name. I couldn't trust a man that would do that."
Christy studied Tessa for any reaction to her words, but this Tessa held her emotions even closer than the last.
"I was there, and I did spy for years." Tessa filled in what small hints from Emma had revealed earlier.
"And I don't turn my back on him." Christy admitted flatly, showing her displeasure. "I don't leave him alone with Mystique, and I don't tell him anything I don't have to."
"Yes, he suspected that." Tessa moved to the chair across the table and pulled it out to sit on it. "It's why he asked me to come back, to talk with you." Tessa paused. "I'm called Sage here, I don't respond to Tessa. Emma seems to forget that often, but the others respect my choice of name."
Sage, first the thought of a flower came to her mind, and then Christy considered the other meaning. It fit, Tessa was rather smart, wise. Still it would take effort, just like calling her double Raven had taken effort to remember in the beginning. "I met a Tessa." Christy admitted quietly. It was a little awkward. "She loved my double. Their love was very inspiring, or it would have been if the Professor hadn't torn them apart so he could have his spy. He destroyed their lives. I can't even begin to tell you how evil he was."
That earned a sharper look, a more penetrating one, and a small brief look of surprise. Emma had this version of Christy in this world, so maybe mentioning this was cruel. It also let her see something in Sage's eyes that were a little regretful and cemented her own strategy to avoid the Professor and not trust him. This woman was lonely, and knowing how caring and sacrificing she was, it was a tragedy that she was alone.
It was then that it was clear Raven's insight into her lover lived on in Christy now. Thinking of the clues she'd used, without Raven's insight she never would have seen it.
"This man is a different Professor. I've not been destroyed, damaged I will admit to, but far from destroyed." Sage spoke softly. It wouldn't be the words the Professor wanted her to admit to. Christy nodded in understanding. "He isn't pure evil."
"I've met three Professors, and the morality of them all is brought into question. I'll admit I live in a glass house. I've done some pretty questionable things in my life, but he makes me cringe." Christy's voice deepened and she sighed. "He's a dreamer, and one that doesn't respect other dreams. The one on the world I call home is that way, Raven, my double, her Professor is that way, and my double here is the one that let me know it may be that way in this world. She doesn't trust him, so why should I?"
"I didn't realize she didn't." Tessa, no Sage, Christy reminded herself, looked a bit thoughtful. "Well, I can't really change your mind. But I can give him a few things to think about when he asks why you avoid him."
"Okay." Christy nodded her agreement. At least Sage was honest that she reported on her.
"Ororo wanted to know if you'd like to go to the mall with us." Sage mentioned it casually, but there was still a hint in her body language that the mall wasn't her favorite place to be.
"No, I'd rather stay here." Christy sighed. She hadn't left since she got here, not wanting to leave Mystique alone. The place was growing very boring, but until Mystique wanted to go out she wasn't going to. Perhaps soon Mystique would feel up to it. She had started physical therapy to gain back some of the muscle her diet had robbed her of. Christy had no idea how lucky she'd been to not have to recover like this, her body was back to healthy looking three days after her arrival after her homeworld died.
When Sage stood up Christy found herself speaking before thinking. "Live your own dreams Sage. Your double didn't listen to me. She didn't listen to my double, and she was miserable and tortured. You saved his life, and he repaid you by taking away yours. An honorable man would have used his power to ensure you lived your own dreams, he wouldn't have bent his savior's life into hell for his." These were words that Christy had thought up for Tessa too late, but she watched as Sage listened and nodded just a little. Maybe Sage would listen.
…………
December was harder than she thought it would be. Christy sighed as she listened to the Christmas music the Xman next door was listening to and found she couldn't relax. Visions of that club filled her mind and so she shifted a coat on and left her room with a heavy sigh.
This wasn't really the time of year to feel like this, and Christy was determined that at some point in her future she'd be able to sit in the living room with her Emma listening to music and decorating trees, but that wasn't this year. It was a little disappointing that it hadn't even been a year since that last Christmas. Her leaps had brought this month to her even sooner. Perhaps a full year to recover would have made it so that the mere sight of people decorating didn't make her feel trapped.
She made her way down to the danger room level and wandered over to the room to see if maybe she was lucky and it wasn't booked. A lot of Xmen were into shopping right now, so she had a shot at least.
The sound of some sort of battle disappointed her and Christy passed the entrance to the danger room to make her way to the control room to see if it was anyone that might welcome her joining them. Not everyone would. Logan preferred to train alone, Scott preferred to train with anyone but her, and some people's powers were so different from her own that the scenarios they picked just wouldn't do anything for her.
The control room wasn't empty, Christy noticed Hank watching the windows first and when she turned to look out she stared as she watched Mystique dodging an attacking and flipping over a tall crate. Mystique was using her arms easily and Christy took a few steps closer to watch as her friend rolled and then ran. "She's looking good." Christy offered to the doctor monitoring Mystique. The way Mystique moved was a bit more fluid than it had been when they were working together on Mystique's home world. It looked like the older spy had been keeping secrets, because this looked recovered to Christy.
"She's been pushing herself rather hard lately. I don't think she wants to spend Christmas with us." Hank spoke quietly as he glanced at reading he was getting on Mystique's physical health during the workout and Christy just watched with a growing smile as Mystique took out two opponents and kept moving. "She has me here to prove that she deserves a clean bill of health, because you said you would want that in writing before you left."
"Did she earn it?" Christy's hand moved to touch the window as Mystique climbed and kicked.
"I believe she has." Hank told her and Christy felt proud, proud of Mystique and proud of herself. Here was one woman she'd saved, and it looked like Mystique would be okay. Now Christy just needed to work on her own plan, her own surprise. It looked like she may even be able to give Mystique a new world for Christmas.
It sure helped to make Christmas seem a lot brighter.
……………..
The crowd was rather large, especially considering how cold it was outside. Christy watched as Mystique said her goodbyes to TJ. The Exiles expected to be sent away as soon as Christy left, and this time they had their own backpacks. Mystique's influence, Emma's money, and Christine's donation of time had given the Exiles that.
Christy and Mystique had their own care packages of money and supplies.
"You have made a lot of progress." Emma spoke quietly from beside her. "I really believe you can do this."
"I can." Mystique was looking a bit sad about the loss of her one acknowledged family member from here, the native Rogue and Kurt hadn't been willing to hang out with her very much. "Thank you for your help." Christy turned to look at the blonde telepath.
Emma smiled just a little. "Anytime."
"I'm sorry if my being here was inconvenient." Christy stared into the blonde's eyes. Her taking over Christine's room pushed Emma into moving faster in her own relationship than Christy knew her own lover preferred to, but she hadn't heard of problems. Of course neither woman was likely to make Christy feel guilty if there were.
"If I haven't manage to mess things up with Christine yet, well maybe we can really make a go of this." Emma reached out and rested a hand on Christy's shoulder. Her eyes became more serious. "Take care of yourself. That includes finding someone you can talk with." The only hint to the subtle pressure Emma had consistently put on Christy to open up about her ordeals. "And when you get home, you tell that Emma she needs to take time off, not a weekend, not a few days, but some serious time off and she needs to be there for you. You don't just deserve it, you need it." Emma took a deep breath and looked away for a moment before her eyes turned back to Christy's. "And if she can't do that for you, maybe you should go find your Mystique and rethink your relationship with your Emma, because if she can't see how painfully much you love her she doesn't deserve you." Those words hurt Emma to say and Christy to hear, but Christy just nodded rather than argue. Emma, this Emma meant well in saying them.
The people talking were a bit distracting, but Christy closed her eyes and rather than scream her portal into existence she visualized. Her mind focused Mystique, why she cared about the woman, and the words Christine had told her about her discussion with this worlds blue shape shifter. Christy focused on conversations with the woman that had shared her room for months, and Christy screamed.
Most of the crowd watching just wanted to see this portal, they'd never seen it. Christy kept her mind off of her double's flinch, or this Emma's careful study of the portal. Christy just held a hand out and Mystique took it.
"Toss me in any direction but the direction we're going." Christy gave one last direction to Mystique and then focused her mind harder on what she wanted as they stepped into the portal.
Lights and swirls surrounded them and Christy fought the urge to think of the people she'd met as she thought about a woman she'd never met, that was a part of her. She focused on a world that Mystique might like. The one that Blink had quietly informed her existed out there when they were alone.