(Bad ideas.)
Asking mother how I got here
without a father.
She screams so loud I have to cover my ears
and squeeze my eyes shut
tight.
Fleeing to the nest
and dancing insanely;
even my few friends notice
I have gone crazy.
Spent, disgusted,
dizzy, I push myself through the door
Not making it further than
A few steps.
This is when I fall for the first time
I can remember.
It is cold,
and empty,
and I'm scared.
Bitter seas licking at my feet,
bitter like my name.
I'm drowning
and I hate it.
Ecl, I hear in my head.
This is Nothing.
This is what I deserve for not having a father.
I can feel my tears
But I can't move my hands from my sides,
trapped staring at the seas
and the icicles that I know will fall
and kill me.
Opening my eyes,
I get myself out, somehow.
And see him staring at me.
"I know how you feel," he says.
I shake my head mutely--
I know Acelan has a father,
so how can he understand?