Darthjag, one of my longest and most helpful readers, will be receiving a cameo in this chapter. Nobody else ask for a cameo, please. He/she only gets one because they've helped me out a lot, and I needed a guinee pig for some ideas. Bwahahahahah!
Lets see if Dr. Insane-O can scrounge up some Author Powers... And if so, how badly he'll screw up the world with them...
"Stupid Agent HUNK..." Dr. Insane-O growled as he walked down the street, kicking a can as he went. A few hours had past since their discussion in the Shinobi HQ. Agent HUNK had finally grown tired of Asuma and wrapped him up in a giant cigarette. Dr. Insane-O, already upset by his lack of Author Powers, was seriously jealour now. "He gets to use Author Powers while all I can do is use a few crummy Jutsus..."
"Psssssst... Come here..." a voice hissed, catching Dr. Insane-O's attention.
"Huh?" he looked around.
"Over here..." a shadow figure wearing a trench-coat waved from a dim alley.
"My mommy always told me now to talk to shadow figures in alleys... And the last time I did it..." Dr. Insane-O whimpered, "I saw some very bad things..."
"Uh..." the figure seemed a bit disturbed to hear that, "Don't worry... I've got an offer for you..."
"What kind of offer?" Dr. Insane-O asked suspiciously.
"Author Powerssss..." the shadowy figure replied with a hiss.
"Awsome..." Dr. Insane-O grinned. He quickly sprinted into the alley and leaned against the wall next to the shadow figure. "What's the deal?"
"I can give you Author Powers, but for a price..." the shadow figure replied, waving his hands around oddly.
"Whatever the price, I'll pay it..." Dr. Insane-O replied eagerly.
"Excellent... Meet me at the abandoned warehouse in 3 hours. And don't tell Agent HUNK anything..." the shadowy figure replied.
"No problem..." And with that, Dr. Insane-O walked away.
"Heh heh heh hah hah hah..." the figure chuckled. "Excellent... KABUTO!"
Another person stood up from behind him and adjusted his glasses. "Yes, Lord Orochimaru?"
Dun dun dun! Sure enough, the shadowy figure was the Snake-Nin in disguise. "What were you doing with my arms!?" Orochimaru growled.
"Making you look more animated..." Kabuto shrugged, holding up a pair of ropes.
"Well you suck at it!" Orochimaru growled. "Now lets go. I've got to find some Author Powers for our friend..."
---
Three hours later, Dr. Insane-O was standing in the dark inside an abandoned warehouse. "Helloooooo? Mr. Shadowy Figure?"
"Yes?" the figure walked out from behind some boxes.
"Where are my Powers?" Dr. Insane-O asked eagerly.
"Right here..." the figure pulled a briefcase out from inside his trench coat. He did it a bit awkwardly though, as if his arms didn't work right. "Kabuto!" he hissed under his breath.
"Sorry..." a voice whispered from behind him.
"So where'd you get the Author Powers for me, anyway?" Dr. Insane-O asked.
"Somebody was kind enough to give them to us..." the shadowy figure replied.
"WHERE'S MY FREAKING COOKIE?!" a loud voice boomed from another room. "YOU PROMISED ME A COOKIE, YOU SCALY JERK!!!"
"Who was that?" Dr. Insane-O blinked dumbly.
"Darthjag... They were the nice enough person..." the shadow figure replied, a sweatdrop visible upon him even in the dim lighting.
"Oh... well... GIMME THE POWERS!!!" Dr. Insane-O exclaimed impatiently.
"Okay..." the figure handed him the briefcase.
Dr. Insane-O eagerly opened it up. He pulled out a pencil and a few pieces of paper. "What's this?"
"Author Powers..." the shadowy figure replied.
The papers and pencil suddenly turned into dust. The cloud of dust swirled around Dr. Insane-O, and then dissappeared. "Duuuuuude..." Dr. Insane-O grinned. "I feel Author-y!"
"Now I need you to do something for me..." the shadowy figure replied. "I want you to go take care of Agent HUNK..."
"Take care of as in kill him?" Dr. Insane-O asked in shock.
"Well, maybe not kill him..." the shadowy figure shrugged.
"Oh..." Dr. Insane-O paused, "Because, I mean, I've got no problem with killing the jerk..."
"But I thought you were friends?" the shadowy figure asked.
"Nah, we're more like rivals usually..." Dr. Insane-O shrugged. "Well, I'm going to go take care of him for you. See ya!" He then turned and walked out of the building.
"Talk about loyalty..." Kabuto grumbled.
"I know..." Orochimaru nodded in agreement.
"WHERE'S MY COOKIE?!" Darthjag screamed from the other room.
"SHUT UP, PUNY MORTAL!!!" Orochimaru yelled.
"PUNY MORTAL!? YOU'RE THE FRICKIN' PEDOPHILE!!!" Darthjag retorted.
"Hah hah..." Kabuto chuckled. "You are a bit creepy around kids..."
"Oh, shut up..." Orochimaru hissed.
---
Agent HUNK was sitting in the Break Room at the Shinobi HQ when Dr. Insane-O found him. He was sitting on the couch chatting with Iruka and a few other random shinobi. "Hey dude, guess what!" Dr. Insane-O swaggered over to his friend.
"What?" Agent HUNK looked up.
"I GOT AUTHOR POWERS!!!" Dr. Insane-O exclaimed.
"WHAT?!" Agent HUNK screamed, scrambling backwards against the back of the sofa in shock. "YOU GOT WHAT?!"
"CHECK IT OUT!!!" Dr. Insane-O held up his hands.
"NO, DON'T-" Agent HUNK tried to protest and stop him, but it was too late. Dr. Insane-O clapped his hands together, and he was gone. There wasn't a single trace left of the Author. He was completely and utterly gone.
"What did you do?" Iruka stared in horror at the spot where Agent HUNK had been sitting seconds before.
"I sent him away..." Dr. Insane-O shrugged.
"Away to where?" Iruka asked.
---
Meanwhile, Agent HUNK had suddenly found himself standing in the middle of a wide hallway. There were no light fixtures, but the room was illuminated by the moonlight coming in through the many open windows stretching down the hallway. "Why does this place look familiar?" Agent HUNK mused.
"Hhhrrrrrrnnnnnggg..." a moan caught his attention. He suddenly realized that there was a crowd of zombies at either end of the hallway, and they were all slowly advancing towards him with their arms outstretched and their mouths open.
"This should be fun..." Agent HUNK chuckled. He clapped his hands together, expecting a shotgun or revolver to appear on the ground in front of him. But nothing happened. "Uh oh..." Agent HUNK gulped as the zombies came closer and the sounds of dogs growling also joined the chorus of moans. "This isn't good..."
---
"The Spencer Estate..." Dr. Insane-O shrugged. "You know... from Resident Evil..."
"..." Iruka and the other ninjas stared at him.
"I also stole his Author Powers..." Dr. Insane-O grinned. "Now its time for me to have some fun!"
---
At the exact same time, Jariaya was "researching" near a waterfall in the jungle. As he watched the women bathing in the water with perverted glee, his grin was suddenly replaced by a frown, and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I sense a disturbance in the Perversion..."
Is Agent HUNK out of the picture? Will Dr. Insane-O wreak unimaginable havok upon Konoha? Can Jariaya save the day? We'll find out in the next chapter. Probably...
Review, please!