Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: I hope you did not expect all chapters to be as long as the three first ones; this will hardly be the shortest one.

A Hundred White Feathers

004. Insides

The first thing Aziraphale noticed upon awakening was that he was not within his body anymore. Instead, he was floating around, with no sight or hearing. At first he panicked; then he remembered the battle, and how a sword had been run through him. His body had died; his soul lived on.

He was a prisoner in his own mind.

Uriel's gaze did not wander to his sides as he travelled through the halls of Heaven. He kept his eyes strictly forward, his mouth set on a thin line, ignoring the whispers that arose wherever he went. It was him they were talking about, that he knew, or more specifically the change in him. Well, what did they expect? He'd just finished the task of separating a third of the Host from the Presence. How could he not have changed?

As he finally reached the safety of his own rooms, he hid his face in his hand and sighed. Exhaustion came over him often these days. It wasn't the tiredness of healing that most had, for he had been left uninjured in the battle and was about useless in healing others, and it wasn't the exhaustion of using his power, either, although that affected him, too. Mostly he was tired because of the constant emotional turmoil he often found himself in nowadays. The pain of making so many Fall had been almost unbearable.

He'd had to make Carowiel Fall, too.

For a moment, he just stood there, shivering. Then, he took on a determined expression. He would mourn for Carowiel, yes, but like he had died with no coming back. He would not feel anything for the... the thing that Carowiel had become. The beast that had betrayed his brethren was not his brother.

And yet every moment that passed tore at his heart like something had been eating him from the inside.

"Aziraphale..."

The young angel was startled to hear somebody calling his name. He could hear? Was he about to get back his body? He felt a bit excited, and at the same time very tense. "...Aziraphale, wake up..."

Slowly, very slowly, Aziraphale came to see. He blinked a bit, and then noticed that there was somebody looking down at him. Still, there was no body on him; all he could see of himself was a faint glow.

"Have no fear, Aziraphale," Raphael said quietly, giving him a gentle yet sad smile. "You will soon regain your body. At the moment I am too exhausted and there are too many people I have to attend to, but as soon as I am able to I will return to help you along in your healing process."

Aziraphale would have nodded, had he been able to. As it was, he just watched the healer, seeing the tired lines on the pale face, the way Raphael's body seemed too thin to contain him, the glow of the archangel's aura seeping through. It was obvious that Raphael, too, had lost his body in the fight.

Then his gaze met the blue eyes, their gentle but somehow empty stare, and he knew that the healer was just as broken in the inside as he was.

Next prompt: Outsides