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014. Green

Aziraphale frowned as he glanced at Michael. The Commander of the Host was behaving very strangely indeed. He was quiet, serious, withdrawn, sometimes even miserable -- everything he usually was not. Even Gabriel had noticed it; he had talked about it with his brother, who had also noticed it but could not offer an explanation any more than he could.

"He's been like that for some time already," Gabriel had told him. "Neither Raphael nor I have been able to find out just what is wrong with him. Whenever we ask him he just insists that nothing's wrong and continues being strange. it is getting rather worrying."

Now, Aziraphale was determined to find out what was wrong with Michael. Thus he hung around the much older angel as much as he could, observing him, following his every move. At first he was just confused, but slowly he began to recognize some symptoms he'd previously seen in humans. By now he was almost certain he knew just what was wrong with Michael. The hard part would be getting him to admit it.

The question that now had him frowning was who. As in, who exactly Michael was in love with?

Finally he decided he wouldn't find it out just by watching Michael, so he gathered all his courage -- which was quite a fair bit -- and simply asked. As could only be expected, Michael was rather startled at first. Then, however, he regained his composure and gave Aziraphale a rather odd gaze.

"In love? Me?" he asked, trying to sound like Aziraphale had just told the best joke of all times. As the Principality merely stared at him patiently, waiting for him to answer, he finally sighed. "You're right," he admitted quietly. "I am in love, quite hopelessly, even. And I can never even tell about it to the one I love."

"Why not?" asked Aziraphale, quite confused. "Surely they'd like to know such a thing? Love is such a beautiful thing! And even if they don't love you back, at least you would get to know that it truly is hopeless and could start trying to get over it and find somebody who returns your feelings."

Again, Michael sighed. "Three words for you, Aziraphale," he said seriously. "I love Uriel."

"Oh, said Aziraphale. Then, after a small pause, again, "Oh."

This was truly a tricky matter, then. Aziraphale knew very well that Uriel wasn't too keen on letting anybody close to him. In fact, he always kept everybody as far as politely possible. Oh, he did have friends -- the other archangels --, but even them he didn't let too close. "Withdrawn" didn't even begin to describe him.

Aziraphale almost told Michael to simply forget it. It would be practically impossible to get Uriel to love anybody aside from Him -- after all, as sad as it was, he didn't trust anybody but himself when it came down to it. No healthy relationship could be placed on lack of trust.

However, he saw the pain in Michael's eyes as he spoke of it. For speak Michael did, like a dam had broken inside him, pouring all of his dreams and fears and futile hopes onto Aziraphale. And Aziraphale listened attentively, genuinely interested, at the same time trying to figure out a way in which Uriel might be made to respond to Michael's feelings. Unfortunately, he couldn't come up with anything useful. He wasn't a stupid angel by any means, rather he considered himself more intelligent than average, even if the capacity of his mind didn't come even close to the sharpness of Uriel's. Still, it seemed like a problem impossible to solve. Uriel may have cared, but he didn't love, he may have found reliable, but he didn't trust. He had trusted and loved once, and was apparently determined not to make the same "mistake" again.

Still, Aziraphale kept thinking, for before his eyes Michael was drained by his hopeless love, falling deeper and deeper into his misery with every passing day.

He couldn't find a solution.

It was morning. Well, it was morning somewhere, and the sun was rising. Michael was there, standing beside Uriel as the other archangel was checking up on the Sun, making sure it was shining brightly enough. Well, in reality there of course was no need to check such a thing as it always shone as brightly, but Uriel had wanted some silence far from Heaven and had allowed Michael to go with him only if the warrior promised to stay quiet. And he did, watching as Uriel checked the glowing ball of gas, then made sure Earth was going around on a regular pace so that the Sun appeared to move steadily. In the bright light Uriel was merely a shiny figure of infinite beauty, and Michael was grateful for the unbearable heat that had forced him to abandon his human body for the time being. Had he been in human form -- and, worse even, making an effort -- he wasn't sure whether he could have hid his reaction to Uriel's closeness.

Finally Uriel was satisfied and sat down on the edge of a cloud, watching as the Sun crept over the horizon. Michael settled down beside him. However, his eyes were drawn to something entirely else.

The Morning Start twinkled a bit as if mocking him .He sighed.

Uriel noticed his distraction and followed his gaze. Realizing what was the only thing on that part of the sky that could possibly interest Michael, he then hesitated for a moment before laying a gentle hand on the other's arm. "Do you miss him?" he asked, a bit of wondering in his voice. Ah, yes. Michael doubted Uriel even knew just how deep his "friendship" with Lucifer had run.

"Sometimes, yes," Michael replied quietly. "Sure, I know that it was his own choice to turn his back to Him, but sometimes... sometimes I can't help but wonder whether I could have done something and prevented it all."

Uriel gave him an odd gaze, the emerald eyes full of confusion -- a rare sight indeed. "What do you mean? Surely you had no more chance at accomplishing that than any of us others."

"Well, I'd like to think I had," Michael said dryly. "After all, we were lovers."

Uriel stared at him in shock, not saying a word. Michael went on, deciding to talk now that he'd started to do so. "Shortly before the Fall... we were not so close," he said slowly, now recalling the pain and confusion of his lover drawing away while still claiming to love him. "Sure, there were no days then, but I do know it was quite some time since we'd last made love. If that had happened closer to the Fall, I probably would have noticed the changes in him -- which most probably is the reason he grew more distant."

"How is that even possible?" Uriel asked disbelievingly, apparently having now got over his worst shock. "I mean, there were no genders before Creation! Forgive me if I'm terribly mistaken, but making love would in my knowledge be rather difficult for two sexless beings."

Michael cringed at the other's tone. There wasn't only disbelief there; disgust was also present. And to think that he might make Uriel disgusted...

"It was different back then," he explained quietly, carefully avoiding the piercing emerald eyes. "Even before there was a thing such as gender, He had given us the gift of... loving. It's hard to describe; you just can't understand it if you haven't experienced it yourself. But, basically, the couple abandons even their angelic forms and allows their essences to merge. Of course it is only temporary, but the feeling of being so close to the other, of sharing every and each of their feelings and emotions and hopes and fears... It's amazing." He swallowed, closing his eyes briefly as he thought back to the days of his love with Lucifer. It had been amazing, yes -- and created some painful memories.

"That sounds... unnecessary," Uriel said slowly. "Why would an angel ever want to join with anybody but Him? His love should be enough to keep any angelic being content; why should you seek the love of others? Surely you have noticed from your own experience that angelic love cannot be trusted to last. He will not turn His back to you unless you turn your back to Him. That is why all beings should love Him above everything and everyone else."

"I never said otherwise!" Michael exclaimed, always quick to defend. "I didn't say I loved Lucifer more than Him. Rather, Lucifer loved himself more than Him," he added with a slightly bitter tone. "And I know that love ended badly -- I was the one to cast him out of Heaven! But that doesn't mean that all love is destined to fail!" He thought about Raphael and Gabriel, and swallowed. Then he thought about Uriel, looking again at the wonderful, beautiful emerald eyes, and swallowed again.

Surely not all love could fail?

"Yes, you were the one to cast him out of Heaven, I'll give you that," Uriel said quietly. "And I was the one to cast all the rest out, I caused them to Fall from Grace. All of them, Michael -- including my little brother." Michael turned even more attentive at this. He hadn't heard Uriel voluntarily even mentioning Carowiel ever since the Fall, not in any context. "You saw what happens when one's love for something surpasses their love for Him. I felt it. And the one being I ever loved aside from Him betrayed me, betrayed both my love and His, and I had to feel his Fall as well among all the others. That's why I could never again even consider loving anybody but Him."

Michael couldn't help but grimace at that. "Are you absolutely sure?" he asked quietly. His hope and desperation probably showed in his eyes but he was beyond caring. He had to know.

Uriel opened his mouth as if to reply, then closed it again, watching him closely. And then, to Michael's great shock and disappointment, his expression turned into one of barely controlled horror.

"No, Michael, don't say it," pleaded the darkhaired beauty, his eyes wide with something that could only be identified as fear. "Please... please tell me I'm mistaken." There was pleading in his eyes, pleading and desperate hope. And Michael could only kill that hope, as much as he hated doing that.

"I'm sorry, Uriel," he said quietly, turning his eyes away from the other's face. "I -- I can't help it. It's like somebody had taken my heart, carved your name on it, and put it back into my chest. I definitely didn't ask for it, that's for sure, but it's a fact and I can't help it. I'm in love with you."

For a long time Uriel just sat there, staring at him, equal parts horrified and shocked. And, as it appeared, repulsed.

"Do not," Uriel finally said flatly. "Just... do not love me. I do not deserve that. And besides, I don't want to be the one to draw your -- or anyone's -- attention from Him. For any reason." He turned his face away from Michael, and the warrior's heart broke.

"I understand," he said quietly, not looking at the other archangel in fear of being hurt even more. Even now it felt like his heart had been twisted by fierce claws, twisted and torn and thrown away. "However, I can't just decide not to love you anymore, so I'll just make sure not to bother you ever again." He stood up, spread his wings, and took off. "Be well, Uriel."

Then he was flying, hurrying towards their home, and the wind rushed past his ears and covered what farewell Uriel may have called out after him.

Gabriel glanced up from his papers as the door to his study was thrown open. As he saw the person in the doorway -- and, more importantly, the state they were in -- his eyes widened in shock. "Michael!" he exclaimed, rushing to his feet. "What happened? You look -- you look miserable."

"Why, thank you, Gabriel," the warrior said dryly, but his voice wavered slightly. "I always knew you l-loved m-me." His voice almost broke at the last words. Now, Gabriel walked quickly to the other's side, taking a gentle but firm hold of his arm, and led him to the living room. There he set his colleague down on a comfortable seat, sitting down opposite to him, eyeing him questioningly.

"Now, tell me what is wrong," he said quietly. "You have avoided telling it for ages now. However, this can't go on anymore. You're a wreck, Michael, and I won't allow this to go on, whatever it is." His eyes stayed fixed on the other archangel as he fell silent again, waiting.

Michael didn't say anything. Just as Gabriel was about to repeat his question -- he would find out, one way or another, and why'd have Michael come to look for him if he didn't want to talk? -- somebody else entered the room. They both turned to look at the newcomer, who was staring at them with a shocked expression.

"Michael?" asked Aziraphale carefully. "What happened?" After a momentary pause, he continued, "It is about him, isn't it?"

Now, this was definitely interesting, Gabriel decided. He watched closely as his little brother walked to Michael's side, brushed aside a stray lock of hair, murmured a few quiet words to get him to calm down. This was exactly what he might have done had Gabriel himself been upset. Even though officially he was only Gabriel's brother, in reality Aziraphale was like a little brother -- or a son, angelic relations being rather complicated -- to them all.

Suddenly Michael broke into tears. Now Gabriel could do little but just stare in mute shock. Michael never cried, never. It was as impossible as the Sun being on the sky at night. And yet he saw it before his very eyes, the tears rolling down pale cheeks, and heard a quiet voice starting to speak, reciting a story of the recent events.

Slowly, he began to understand. But he still couldn't believe.

Next Prompt: Blue