We are not perfect.

Ducking through the tent flap,

this thought brushes my mind when I see

(1) Karma is not there.

(The fresh reek of blood is hard to

stand for long, and I don't blame her.)

(2) My wings are trembling,

but I don't know why—

I'm not cold, not weary, just scared—

and I can't bear to make them disappear

so the shaking will stop.

The air inside the tent is close;

I push open the entry to let

a soft breeze through.

"Mara, is that you?" he moans,

and I smile, nod,

realize he can't see me in this darkness.

"Yes."

I curl up against him

to hear his heart beat—

my head on his chest, hand holding

his, wings spread out to

stop their shaking.

"I can't believe she's gone."

His voice is a whisper;

I squeeze his hand, it's not your fault.

Bt he looks at me and shakes his head—

"I could have stopped it

from happening."

I want to argue with him,

prove him wrong, but I don't know what to say.

So I settle for a wobbly smile, whispering,

"It's going to be all right.

Friends forever, remember?"

I'm hoping the memory will make him smile—

I need to see him smile—

but he only nods, "Right."

He's not happy, just blaming himself

for Iris's death as he tries to stand up.

Stop, Acelan, stop!

He cries out in pain and tries again,

while I shrink into the dark,

can't see him in pain

anymore.

And then he falls.

Screaming, I follow immediately

into Ecl.

Déjà vu hits me as I'm drowning.

This is so much like finding Iris

that my throat is raw with the

fear of finding him like her.

Stumbling on ice, I notice a body on the ground.

Acelan.

I am running, fear clogging my throat

(I can't breathe.)

But when I reach the place, again,

there is no one there.

Not even blood like the last time.

"What did you do to yourself??"

I am afraid of suicide.

Karma is here, suddenly, says

with tears in her eyes,

"I was afraid this would happen."

She puts a hand on my shoulder and I shove it away

"You don't understand!" My throat burns.

He's the only thing that keeps me from falling forever.

ComebackAcelancomeback-- !

A/N: This corresponds with chap 38. Mara visits Acelan in the tent where he's healing, and he blames himself for Iris's death, falls to Ecl, and--well, you'll see. The plot is Notebook's. The world is AHAR's. Mara is mine. Review!