A/N: I was on TV a couple of days ago. It was because I participated in the C.H.O.I.C.E.S program at Lehigh University. The cameramen took video of a couple of friends and me making putty for one of the labs. Then the footage was played on the five o'clock news. My mom was pretty excited about it.

Artemis breathed in deeply through his nose, feeling his diaphragm muscle contract in his abdomen, pushing at the rib cage to expand his lung capacity. The genius held the air for just a moment, and then let it go. The dirty carbon dioxide rushed out of his system as the diaphragm relaxed. Artemis had completed his long winded sigh.

But it wasn't just any sigh; it was a long meaningful, why-have-I-been-forced-to-go-through-with-this sigh. An I-cannot-believe-you-sent-me-here breath.

As in, forced to be sent to St. Bartleby's. Well, it wasn't just St. Bartleby's he hated being at, he reasoned, it was every secondary school in the country.

Artemis glanced at his surroundings. His bedroom was much smaller here than back at the manor. And yet, the administrators of the school expected it to fit two people. This was not going to work out.

He placed the lightest of his four suitcases on the bed. The mattress sagged slightly under its weight. Tiny wrinkles dented the dark blue comforter, reminding him somewhat of a cracked sidewalk. Truthfully, those wrinkles were the most interesting thing in the room. Bland white walls surrounded Artemis like a caged bird, and his feet dipped into the tan carpet. A single ray of evening sunlight shone through the plexi-glass of a window between the small twin beds, coating the adjacent nightstand in orange.

Artemis stepped across the room towards the large closet that he would share with his roommate. All that occupied the hollow space were a few bare shirt hangers. Artemis planned to later construct some sort of divide for the closet; he didn't want another boy's clothing mixing with his own.

The genius made his way over to the bathroom, inspecting the cool marble of the counters and sink. He ran his index finger over the lid of the toilet. Artemis's lips curled back in disgust. This toilet was covered in dust. Didn't this school employ any cleaning services?

A door slammed and the thudding of feet could be heard in the rooms beneath him. Artemis left the bathroom and sat down on his bed, sighing in agitation for the fifth time in the past hour. His dorm mates had arrived. And they were as loud as teenage boys could possibly be. Artemis could clearly hear their shouts through several layers of drywall.

"Hey! We get our own kitchen!"

"I haven't seen you all summer Adrian! How have you been?!"

"Yessss! Flat screen TV! Woo-hoo!"

Artemis swore he could feel the dorm house shake as the boys thundered up the steps, their luggage thumping along behind them. The genius wished that he hadn't finished the family taxes before he arrived at the school. At least then he would have had something to do. The mattress bounced as Artemis lifted himself off and knelt on the floor. He unzipped the largest of his four suitcases and began to rummage through it, searching for an unread book or anything else that may help him at least look busy. Idleness could provoke his fellow adolescents to try and speak with him. He didn't want, nor need their company.

His hand had just brushed the glossy cover of what he hoped was a brand new book when the door flew open, and a short, blond haired youth wearing the St. Bartleby's blazer sprinted inside. His luggage sailed out of his pale hands and slid across the twin bed next to Artemis, smacking to a stop against the headboard. The boy hurridly tore off a backpack that had been slung over one shoulder and unzipped it. He felt around inside for a moment, and Artemis's eyes widened slightly in surprise as he carefully drew out a dark black pistol.

The boy was about to rush out of the room when he spotted Artemis kneeling on the carpet. He paused in mid-stride and his face broke out into a toothy grin. "Oh hey mate. Din't see you there for a sec. Name's Travis."

Artemis opened his mouth, but before he could speak the boy ran off, slamming the door behind him. The youth of Ireland were surly not all this rude. But then again…based on Artemis's past experiences, they probably were.

Artemis continued to dig around in his suitcase, this time searching for a cell phone. He should at least notify Butler that his roommate carries a weapon. He sneered as he realized this would be a perfect excuse to get him out of school. Artemis hadn't had a chance as of yet to commit the student handbook to memory, but he assumed that there was at least one rule outlawing the possession of guns on campus.

He would simply point this out to his bodyguard, who would not doubtedly point it out to his mother and father. Of course they would immediately pull him out of this horrid school once and for all, after promptly declaring it too unsafe for their little Arty.

Artemis nearly jumped out of his skin as the door creaked open, its poorly oiled hinges screeching in protest. A long, thin hand wrapped itself around the edge of the door and a head poked its way into Artemis's room. A boy slightly taller than Artemis himself stared at the genius with tired eyes the color of dishwater. The boy brushed a long strand of dark teal hair behind an ear as he spoke to Artemis, "The head of the dorm requests that all boarders assemble in the common room. If you would please…"

"I'll be there in a moment." Artemis said. The boy sank away from the doorway and Artemis proceeded to phone Butler.

The phone beeped several times, really trying to reach the manservant's own cell. But the battery seemed to fizzle out and the cell phone's screen went blank. Artemis scowled. It seemed as though he had forgotten to charge his phone before leaving the manor. He would have to wait several more hours to make a call.

Hooking his phone up to a portable charger and plugging it into a wall, Artemis left the safety of his bedroom and headed out into the chaos that was a boy's dormitory. He was pushed and shoved down the hallway by the other, larger students running downstairs. Several times he spotted a flash of blond hair of his roommate, moving through the throng. Why hadn't anyone sent him to the dean's office yet?

Suddenly Artemis was shoved roughly into a wall, his back forcefully hitting the painted surface. He blinked away the shock and found himself staring into the neck of another boy. The boy turned, and eyed Artemis with malicious black eyes.

"Watch where you're going!" He snarled, pushing himself away from the genius.

Artemis mirrored his glare. How dare this boy talk to him like this! Clearly he was merely an innocent bystander, and yet he was being blamed for their collision. "You're one to talk. I believe it was you who slammed into me, and not the other way around."

Several other boarders took notice of their little scuffle and paused to watch. Artemis's eyes darted around the hall. These boys had formed a slight half circle around the pair, clogging up half of the hallway. Even more students had stopped to stare, and it seemed as though the whole dorm had now halted to see this morning drama through.

The boy's fists were slightly raised; a clear sign he wanted a fight. Artemis was a champion at mental fights; online chess and the like, but physical scraps he carefully avoided. Though this boy was very slightly shorter than Artemis, the genius noted that his arms had more muscle than his own, and were no doubt stronger.

Artemis had yet to reach the "bulking up" period of puberty many males go through, which meant his arms were still small and scrawny. He hadn't yet mastered the art of coordination either, so if the aggressive youth did in fact start something, it would defiantly be over quickly.

For probably the first time in his life, Artemis wished there were a teacher nearby. At least then maybe this boy would be controlled. His peers didn't seem too intent on helping him. In fact, it looked as if they were rather enjoying the spectacle. Artemis could even hear the crowd egging the boy on, with shouts of "go get 'em" and "fight, fight."

The boy raised one of his tight fists level with Artemis's face. Artemis's nose scrunched up; it took all of his willpower to keep the rest of his face from flinching.

"I don't believe hitting me would be wise." Artemis tried negotiating with the boy. The genius calmed down his own rapid breathing and attempted at speaking in a low calming voice. Artemis hoped, that like a wild beast, this boy could be calmed with soothing words.

The boy answered by pulling his arm back and taking a swing at Artemis. Artemis closed his eyes, completely scrunching up his face in preparation for the blow. He desperately hoped the fist connected with a cheek or an eye rather than his nose. A bloody nose was much less fetching than a bruise. A swollen nose couldn't be covered up with a touch of make-up either.

"Argh! What are you doing?!"

Artemis opened his eyes, blinking once more in shock. Where was that blinding pain of fist against flesh? The genius immediately sank to the floor, putting himself out of harms way. He looked up, and surveyed the scene around him. The crowd of boys had dispersed, muttering about the ruined fight. Artemis's attacker was being held firmly by another taller boy with light brown hair and smiling eyes.

"Bo, please don't act so violent. It's not very fetching. Neither are red highlights in black hair." Artemis's savior said while nodding pointedly at the other boy's spiked up hair.

"Let me go!" Bo squirmed.

"Sure, whatever you say." The brown haired boy grinned, letting Bo go. He spun headfirst into the opposite wall.

Relieved of his squirming burden, the boy made his way over to Artemis, ignoring Bo's curses from several feet away. He stretched out a hand to Artemis, smiling cheerfully.

"Satori Dalry. And you are?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Artemis ignored the Satori's hand, preferring to balance against the wall as he rose. He eyed the taller boy with curiosity. "Artemis Fowl the Second."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Artemis." Satori said. He jerked his head lightly to the left. "Now shall we join the others in the common room? I believe they're waiting."

A/N: Please review. : )