Disclaimer: We are not JKR. We don't claim to own James, Lily, or anyone here really. We know Alice's real last name probably isn't Prewitt.

Author's Note: Hello. Ashleigh here. So, I finally got around to finishing this chapter. It isn't nearly as good as anything that Jazzi has written, but get over it. See you in chapter four.

Oh, and review please

I still don't know when it started.

But as I watch Alice get ready for her fifth – or was it sixth? – date with Potter, I curse myself for not realizing sooner.

Was there something that I could have done?

When was that last time he asked me out, the last time when instead of insulting him, I could have said "I'd like that…"

When was the last time he commented the way the color of my eyes meshed well with my robes, when I could have commented back that the way his hair hung so elegantly messy wasn't really all that bad…

Why did I have to be a stubborn prat?

I could have so easily had him all to myself, and then I wouldn't have had to worry about stupid Alice and the fact that I was head over heels for her stupid boyfriend.

Why couldn't he be mine?

"LILY!" Alice's voice broke into my reverie.

"…Yes?" she asked looking up.

"I've been calling you for the past few minutes… Anyway, do I look all right? D'you think he'll like this dress on me? Or is it too trashy? I don't want to seem easy…" her friend trailed off, looking at her questioningly.

"No, no, it looks fine. Great. He'll love it." I gave her a big smile. I've been surprisingly glad to find out that I'm good at hiding how I really feel, saying one thing and meaning something completely different, without anyone noticing.

That's just one less thing I have to worry about.

I walked Alice to the door, quickly deciding against following her to the common room.

It would be nearly impossible for me to see the reunion again.

I could stand to see the way he looked at her.

It made me so mad to see them kissing.

Just thinking about it made me want to vomit.

Sometimes I just wanted to run up and rip them apart, yelling at them... doing anything I could to make them understand that it physically hurt me to see them together.

I mumbled something about writing a letter to mum, shooing Alice out of the room with as much of a smile as I could offer.

Sitting down in a stiff chair, I closed my eyes and let my facade drop for a moment.

Was it always going to be like this?

What if they got married, and happily had four children and a lovely little barnowl? What would I do then?

I couldn't continue with this charade for forever.

Maybe I should just stop hanging around with Alice.

As much as the idea should have hurt, I was surprised that I actually liked it.

If I stayed away from both her and James, then there would be no pain, right?

I hadn't ever really been with James, so I couldn't really miss him, could I?

He'd already stopped doing all the little things that I was (secretly) fond of.

Forming the plan in my mind was probably much easier than it would be to carry out, but...

Maybe I was actually getting somewhere.

Maybe I was actually going to be able to restore whatever happiness James had stolen when he began to date that foul girl.

Or... my best friend, rather.

Was I really that mean?

Did I really not care about her anymore?

Opening my eyes to glance around the room, I frowned.

Because really, compared to James, losing Alice was nothing.