Resolutions

By Neurotica

Three

"I'm fat."

"Sorry?"

"Look at me, I'm a complete cow."

Sirius finished pulling his robes over his head and looked across the room, where Naomi stood before a full-length mirror, staring at her reflection in complete disgust. He sighed, trying not to smile, and moved to stand behind her, wrapping her in his arms. "You are not fat," he murmured, kissing her neck.

"Yes, I am!" she cried. "I can't even see my bloody feet anymore!"

Sirius looked down at her mismatched-socked feet. "Well, I can assure you they are still there." Naomi glared at him through the mirror. "Naomi, you're seven months pregnant—"

"So you agree that I'm fat?"

"I didn't say that," he said patiently. "Lily was loads bigger than this when she was pregnant with Harry. Compared to her, I'd say you're quite small." He knew for a fact this wasn't true—Lily Potter, compared to other pregnant witches he'd seen, had been rather petite all throughout her pregnancy, but he was trying to make his wife feel better.

"You're such a liar," she said, trying to pull away from him. "I'm fat, I'm ugly, and it's all your fault."

Sirius' eyes widened. "How could it possibly be my fault?"

"It takes two to tango, darling," she said sarcastically. "I sure as hell didn't get like this on my own."

Though he was highly tempted, Sirius resisted the urge to beat his head against the nearest wall. "Naomi," he said calmly, "you are more beautiful than the day I met you."

"What, when we were five?"

"Yes, you were quite stunning in that red dress with the bow around the middle that your mum made you wear." She finally smiled a little. "You are positively radiant, and everyday that goes by, you grow even more so."

"You're sucking up, aren't you?" she muttered, leaning back into his embrace.

"Well, yes, but it's all true. You're the most beautiful woman in my world, and I love you more than anything; even if I can't wrap my arms completely around you anymore. Ow!" he yelped when his wife elbowed him. But when she turned around, she was smiling, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close for a long kiss.

Some minutes later, they were forced apart when Naomi jumped in surprise. "What is it?" Sirius asked, startled, as she put her hands on her stomach.

Naomi smiled and looked up at him. "She kicked," she whispered. Sirius smiled back. It wasn't the first time their baby had moved, but every time it happened, Sirius became rather excited. He placed a hand on Naomi's belly, just beside hers, and waited. Sure enough, a few moments later, the baby kicked again.

Unfortunately, he couldn't stay there all day (as much as he wanted to); he had to be at work soon and in a meeting with the Minister an hour later. He kissed his wife again, and went to his knees to kiss her belly before leaving their bedroom for the kitchen and the fireplace.

Down the hall, the Lupins were having a different problem that morning. Neither of them had even gotten out of bed yet; though it wasn't for lack of trying on Emmeline's part—she found it rather difficult to move when her husband's head was resting on her exposed stomach, which he kissed every few seconds.

It had been nearly a month since Emmeline and Remus found out they were going to have a baby, and the wizard still hadn't gotten used to the idea. They'd gone for Emmeline's first check-up with a medi-witch a few weeks earlier and found out that Emmeline was six weeks along when she'd done the pregnancy spell. So far, everything was going perfectly—both Emmeline and the baby were completely healthy. It was still too early to tell if the baby would inherit Remus' Lycanthropy, but the couple didn't let that worry them—well, Emmeline didn't let it worry her and Remus just kept his worries to himself.

"Remus, we've got to get ready for work," Emmeline said, running her fingers through his hair. Remus moaned in response. "We can't be late..."

"Let's owl in sick," he said suddenly, lifting his head for the first time in an hour. "Just for today... Then we can lie here together all day."

Emmeline rolled her eyes, smiling. "We can't do that," she said, though the thought was quite appealing. "We're already taking half a day tomorrow to see the Healer. What kind of Ministry heads would we be if we skived off work?"

"The kind who are very comfortable in their bed." Remus grinned. "Come on, just this once... We can tell them you've got morning sickness and I'm staying home to take care of you."

"Oh, so you come out to be the supportive husband, while everyone tries to sympathize with me?"

Remus shrugged. "Why not?"

"You know, I think you've spent way too much time with Sirius. Even he doesn't skive off work."

"He would if he wasn't so worried about what Dawlish and Scrimgeour would do in his absence. Is that a yes?"

Emmeline sighed, still smiling. "Go write the bloody letter," she muttered. Remus' grin widened as he moved up to kiss her. "But you owe me," she said against his lips. "Breakfast in bed would be adequate compensation."

He winked and pushed himself off the bed. "Consider it done. I'll be back; don't move."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Around lunchtime, Harry finally stumbled out of bed and down to the kitchen, finding it surprisingly full for a weekday afternoon. Remus, Emmeline, and Naomi were still in their pajamas, reading different bits of the newspaper, and munching on sandwiches. Rather than question why Remus and Emmeline weren't at work, Harry plopped down in a chair and grabbed a sandwich from the nearest plate.

"Afternoon, Harry," Remus said from behind his section of the paper. "Late night?"

Harry shrugged. "Couldn't get to sleep until three in the morning." He yawned. "So I started reading those books Emmeline loaned me."

"Oh, you're reading the Chronicles of Narnia finally?" the witch asked, looking pleased. "Are you enjoying them?"

"Yeah, they're pretty good so far. I'd love to have a wardrobe that went to a secret world," Harry said.

"Didn't Sirius once try to tell you that my closet led to Quality Quidditch Supplies?" Remus asked, grinning.

Harry scowled at the memory. "It was Zonko's, and I'm pretty sure I've still got the mark on my head from where I hit the wall."

Naomi raised her eyebrows. "And this is the father of my child we're talking about... Smashing," she said flatly. "Anything else I should know about Harry's childhood traumas caused by Sirius?"

"Would you like me to make you out a list?" Remus asked, still grinning. Naomi glared at him. "Sirius will make a fine father, Naomi. He was always really good with Harry, unless they had a prank war going on, of course. And if I remember correctly, he was the only one who could get Harry to stop crying for about a month after he was born."

Naomi smiled. "I remember that. James was devastated, because he thought Harry didn't like him."

"He actually thought that?" Harry asked, surprised.

Remus nodded. "He was wrong, of course; the only reason you warmed up to Sirius so quickly was because he could turn into a big, fluffy doggy—you used to love that."

"Lily and James used to bring you to Order meetings," Emmeline recalled. "You were always so well behaved, never cried or fussed. Everybody loved you."

"Oh, and you loved Dumbledore's beard." Naomi grinned. "He used to hold you and you'd tug on it. Sirius said you were trying to see if it was real or not."

Harry laughed. He started to ask another question, but the Weasley family owl, Errol, flew down the fireplace and crash-landed in a plate of sandwiches. Emmeline quickly picked him up to make sure he was all right while Harry opened the letter, which was addressed to him.

"Everything okay?" Remus asked, watching Emmeline smooth Errol's feathers.

"Yeah," Harry said when he'd reached the bottom of the letter. "Ron and Hermione are going to take their Apparition tests tomorrow. They want to know if I can go along. Afterwards, they're going out to London for the day with Charlie and Tonks."

"I don't mind," Remus said. "So long as Charlie and Tonks are there... You're old enough to go out for a day on the town, I think." He shook his head. "I can't believe you'll be seventeen in just a week. Where's the time gone?"

"It had to happen sometime, Remus mate," Harry said bracingly, thumping his beloved guardian on the back. "I'm going write Ron. I'll send Hedwig so Errol can get some rest." The owl hooted gratefully and Emmeline conjured a bowl of water for him.

Remus turned to watch Harry leave before turning back to the witches. "It seems like just yesterday we were taking him from the Dursleys, and in a week, he'll be legally allowed to go out on his own and perform magic without special permission from the Ministry," he said sadly. "It doesn't seem like he's had much of a childhood, what with everything that's happened to him."

"But he's grown up beautifully," Naomi said. "He's everything James and Lily wanted him to be, and then some."

Remus nodded. "I know. I only wish he'd had more of a chance to have fun, to be a kid. He's had to worry about being attacked by Death Eaters and Voldemort for most of his Hogwarts career. He deserves to have what we had in school, you know? Not having this misery looming over his head all the time..."

"Harry's had a great life, Remus," Emmeline said, squeezing his hand. "He's had you and Sirius—you two have given him chances he never would have had if he'd stayed with his relatives. And you make it sound like his life is over; he's still got a year left of Hogwarts, and then who knows what will happen..."

"That's what worries me," Remus said quietly, staring at the table pensively. "The prophecy says he has to defeat Voldemort, or Voldemort will defeat him. I know which outcome I want, but I won't necessarily get my wish."

"Don't say things like that," Naomi scolded him. "Harry is meant to do this, and he will. It will take time, but Voldemort will be defeated for good."

"But if something was to happen, and this Final Battle is tomorrow, Harry isn't ready for that," Remus argued. "We should have prepared him earlier, but we didn't—we were too preoccupied with pretending the prophecy didn't exist."

"When the time comes," Emmeline said quietly, "Harry will be ready. That boy is very powerful and skilled. Look how quickly he caught onto Occlumency. I've been in his mind, I've seen what he can do. If he wanted to, Harry could take Voldemort down right now. I wouldn't recommend it, but he could."

Remus sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I want this war to be over. I want my child, and your daughter, Naomi, to grow up not having to know what it is to have to hide or else be killed. But I don't want it if it will cost us Harry. He's like a son to me, and I won't let anything happen to him."

"Harry will be okay," Naomi promised. "We just have to have a little faith in him..."

Remus came to a decision that afternoon to increase Harry's defense lessons. He Vanished all the furniture in the Black family library and, with Emmeline and Naomi's suggestions, setup a sort of obstacle course. He'd wanted to replicate the final exam he'd given his third years during his last year teaching at Hogwarts, but his wife wasn't too keen on the idea of having Hinkypunks loose in the house. He had, however, found a rather nasty boggart in one of the spare bedrooms, and though he mostly wanted to use it to help train Harry, he had to admit he was very curious about what the boy was most afraid of. Three years ago, Harry's boggart had been his guardians' deaths, but had it changed over the years?

Remus knew what his boggart would be—he didn't even have to think hard about it. Over the last month, since he and Emmeline found out that they were going to be parents, Remus had started having a recurring dream. During the dream, which was always on a full moon after the baby was born, Moony breaks out of the library and attacks Emmeline and the baby. More than once, he'd woken in a cold sweat mixed with warm tears, and he'd had to get out of bed before his shaking woke his wife. He never told anybody about the dreams, but he often lost sleep sitting in the library, brooding as if he'd damned his wife and child by getting involved with Emmeline in the first place. There were nights when he thought himself quite selfish for putting her in such a dangerous position month after month, and now they were having a baby, who had no choice of who its father was. Emmeline would only tell him he was overreacting, and that she loved him more than anything—he hadn't condemned her to anything.

But what if she was wrong? What if one of these months he really did lose control of himself, break out of the library and kill her?

"Remus?" Harry said from the door of the library. "Are you all right? You're shaking..."

Remus snapped out of his thoughts as he felt Harry's hand on his shoulder. The older wizard wiped the sweat from his face and turned to his boy. "I'm fine," he said very hoarsely. He cleared his throat. "Just lost in my thoughts.." Before Harry could do more than look concerned, Remus snapped out of his dark mood and fell into his brisk, professor tone. "Wand out, Harry. I'm going to turn out the lights, and you're going to fight your way across the room using any spell that comes to your mind. The targets are programmed to fight back, but will be destroyed by one, particular spell—you've got to figure out what that spell is for each target. You will get hints along the way. I'm going to stay in the room in case you get into trouble—I don't think you will, but you never really know. When you're ready, let me know. Any questions?"

Harry shook his head. Remus nodded, backing up to close the library doors. With a wave of his wand, the lights went out, the shutters were drawn across the windows, and the room fell into complete darkness. Remus could hear his charmed targets moving into position. "Lumos," Harry murmured. Remus gave him the go-ahead and he was off. Once Harry reached the boggart at the end, a spotlight would shine so that both Harry and Remus could see what was happening, and if Harry froze, Remus would be able help him.

Wandfire told Remus that Harry had met the first moving target—it was a life-size replica of a Death Eater. After a simple Disarming Spell, there was a pop signaling the Death Eater had been destroyed, and Harry moved on. The targets increased in difficulty as he went on. Harry cursed loudly as another Death Eater target jumped out at him. This target returned spells just as quickly as Harry shot them. It took a little longer this time, but after the fifth attempt, Harry figured out that a Jelly-Legs Jinx was what it took to get rid of it.

Twenty minutes into the course, Remus was ready to jump in and banish all the targets—one of them had hit Harry with a Cutting Hex, which Remus didn't remember spelling it to do. But Harry kept on, calling out that he wasn't bleeding too badly. Finally, he made it to the far end of the library, and a spotlight shone brightly on the trunk. When Harry came into close range of it, the lid popped open, and a cloud of smoke rose out and formed into the strangest boggart Remus had ever laid eyes on.

It wasn't often that a boggart could manifest itself into a full scene, but this one managed it. Remus, Sirius, and Harry were all in what looked to be a nursery. The older wizards were holding what Remus assumed were their children while Harry looked on with a longing expression.

The boggart-Sirius turned to Harry and raised an eyebrow. "You're still here?" he asked harshly. "Haven't you realized by now that we've got what we want? We don't need you here. All you ever were was a liability..."

It took Remus a few minutes to get over the shock of what he was witnessing to realize Harry, too, seemed very surprised, and obviously couldn't get rid of it on his own. Remus stepped in front of Harry and didn't even give the boggart a chance to change before firmly saying, "Riddikulus!" The nursery scene shattered into tiny pieces and faded into nothing, leaving the two wizards in darkness as the spotlight went out. They remained in the stunned, silent darkness for a few minutes, until Remus could neutralize the look on his face. Once he thought he'd succeeded, he waved his wand again and filled the room with light. The werewolf looked over at Harry, who was carefully avoiding his eyes.

"Harry?" he said tentatively. "Do you want to talk?"

Harry shook his head hard, his black hair going in all directions. "No, I'm fine," he said firmly. "Actually, I'm a bit tired, so I'm going to go have a lie down. Thanks for the training session." And before Remus could do anything to stop him, Harry had left the room.

"He saw what?" Sirius said incredulously later that night when Remus told him about Harry's training session.

Remus nodded. "I was just as surprised, Sirius. I've never heard him mention anything like that. Have you?"

Sirius sighed. "Yes. The day I told him about the baby... I thought he'd gotten over it, though. He was upset, but hasn't said anything else to me about it..." He ran a hand through his hair. "I still don't understand how he could be afraid of something like that. He knows we'd never do that to him..."

"It's something that goes through every kid's mind when there's a baby on the way," Emmeline said. "My brother Thomas was the baby of the family until I came along, and he told me once that he was afraid our parents were going to forget about him."

"But Thomas was, what, three when you were born? Harry's going on seventeen, and we've never given him any reason to think we'd just abandon him once the babies were born. Have we?" Sirius added, suddenly uncertain.

Naomi shook her head. "I don't think you have," she said quietly. "You know, it's possible he's still having flashbacks from living with Vernon and Petunia. From what you've told me, if they'd had the chance to dump him off somewhere, they would have. And fear of rejection isn't something that just goes away on its own. Harry trusts you two with his life, and he loves you more than anything. But something that's happened this year—whether it was the weddings or the babies—could have triggered that fear, and it's come back."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. "What, are you a child psychologist now?"

"No, but I'm a soon-to-be mother, and we just know these things."

"Right," Sirius said. "So what do we do now? We can't just let Harry go on thinking we don't want him around."

"Someone needs to talk to him obviously," Remus said. "But I'm not sure if it should be you or me, Padfoot. He'll just lock himself up like he does when he's embarrassed or ashamed about something."

"Do you want me to go?" Emmeline asked.

Remus turned to look at her. "Please?"

Emmeline smiled. "Of course. I'll be back," she said, standing.

Harry sat on his bed, staring at his bare feet, wondering how, of all things he should be afraid of, his Boggart turned out to be what it did. He'd told Ginny months ago of his fears, and blurted them out to Sirius not long after that, but he'd thought that fear was long since taken care of. But it was obviously still in there somewhere. And it only made Harry feel worse that Remus had been there to see it. The older wizard must think him totally childish to be so insecure about something he knew would never happen. And of course Remus would tell Sirius the moment the Auror returned home from work. How would Harry be able to look at either of his guardians in the eye again?

He sighed loudly at the knock on his door, already knowing it was one of his guardians—or maybe both—coming to assure him he'd never be left out of their lives, and he had nothing to worry about. And once they finished their little speech, Harry would hug them and everything would turn out just fine. That was how every other problem had been taken care of, anyway.

"Come in," Harry called out reluctantly. His eyebrows rose of their own accord as Emmeline entered his room with a tray of tea and biscuits.

"Hey, you," she said quietly, setting the tray on Harry's desk and bringing the cups and plate over to his bed before sitting down beside him.

"So," the witch began, looking around the room. She noticed that Harry's stuffed stag had gotten a place of honor atop his wardrobe—the toy's hazel eyes seemed to overlook the entire room. "Do you feel like talking?"

"What would you do if I said no?" Harry asked flatly, looking back down to his feet.

"I'd sit here, drink my tea, and eat my chocolate and peanut butter biscuits until you changed your mind."

The comment seemed to surprise Harry into smiling a bit. "Remus told everyone about my boggart, then?"

Emmeline nodded solemnly. "Only because he's worried about you, though; he doesn't want to embarrass you."

Harry shrugged. "There isn't anything to worry about," he muttered. "I know I sound like Sirius when I say that, but honestly, I don't know where that boggart came from."

Emmeline watched him thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, if you'd once feared what you saw in your boggart, whether it was last week, or years ago, a boggart won't change until a new fear takes over."

"Really?"

She nodded. "Do you want to know what my boggart was until I was about twenty-five?" Harry nodded, trying not to seem eager to hear what she feared most. "From the time I was twelve on, whenever I found a boggart, it always turned into a werewolf."

Harry's eyes widened. "You're kidding!" he exclaimed.

"Nope," she said. "See, my father was killed by a werewolf before my second year at Hogwarts and I'd seen the attack. Since then, I've been able to see thestrals, and for many years, I had a horrible fear of werewolves."

"What changed it?"

"Well, I'd like to say Remus changed my mind about werewolves, but that would be a lie." She smiled a little. "It was all an accident really... See, I had a really good friend after Hogwarts named David Withers. We never dated or anything, but we were very close. In the five years that I'd known him, I never once noticed how ill he always looked—he'd told me once that he had a terminal illness, and eventually, he would die from it. So I tried to make whatever years he had left the best he'd ever had.

"One night, I got an owl from Hestia Jones, who was doing her Healer training at the time. She'd said David had been brought in, and she didn't know how much longer he had. I got to the hospital and Hestia led me down the corridors to the Lycanthropy ward. I thought maybe he'd been bitten by a werewolf that night, but it hadn't even been a full moon. He finally told me that he'd been a werewolf all his life—he'd been born one; both his parents were werewolves too."

"What happened?"

"I was in shock, obviously. I thought I'd known everything about him. He said he'd understand if I left him to die alone, but he wanted to tell me that I'd helped him feel normal for the first time in his life." Emmeline's voice broke a little. Hesitantly and awkwardly, Harry reached over and held her hand, making her smile through the tears that filled her eyes. "That night," she went on, "I realized that even though my best friend in the world was a werewolf, one of the beasts that killed my father, it didn't change all the good times we'd had together. He was still the man who'd make me a cup of tea half-filled with firewhiskey to calm me down after a fight with a boyfriend, and then give me a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream while we talked about ways to torture said boyfriend.

"A few weeks after David's funeral, I found a boggart in my basement. I'd been so surprised that it had changed that I didn't even register what it had changed to until later—I just laughed in relief that I'd gotten over my fear of werewolves."

Harry wasn't sure how Emmeline's story was supposed to help him with his current situation, but it had gotten his mind off his own boggart for a bit. "Does Remus know about all that?"

Emmeline nodded. "While we were in Italy for our honeymoon, we stayed up until sunrise one morning, just talking about everything—our fears, our goals, what we wanted for our future, that kind of stuff."

Harry nodded pensively and sighed. "After you and Remus told everyone you were moving your wedding up a few months, I started to get afraid that I'd be left out of everything. I spent most of my life with just Sirius and Remus, and in less than a year, I felt like I was losing them. Please, don't get me wrong, Emmeline. I like you a lot, and Naomi too, once I got to know her. I guess I just got used to having them to myself and it was odd having to share them."

"That's completely understandable, Harry," Emmeline said softly, squeezing his hand. "And I don't think any less of you or think that you're just some spoiled, selfish kid—" He furrowed his brow, not remembering ever saying that to her, and she grinned a little. "Legilimens," she reminded him teasingly. He chuckled and nodded.

"Harry, you don't ever have to worry about losing Sirius and Remus to anybody. Yes, they're both married now, and Naomi and I hare going to have their babies, but you will always be one of the most important people in their lives, no matter how old you get. Those two practically worship the ground you walk on. There are days when I can't get Remus to talk about anything other than what you've accomplished. They will always find time for you, no matter how hectic their lives get. And if they don't for some reason, you just come to Naomi or me, and we'll knock some sense into them. Got it?"

Harry laughed. "Yeah," he said, nodding. "I'm really glad you and Remus got married, you know. I love having you around to help me threaten Sirius."

Emmeline smiled, feeling herself tear up again. She reached over and pulled Harry into a hug, which he returned in earnest. "And I love being around, Harry. Even if it is just to threaten Sirius."