Summery: Seemingly normal teen girls live the world of IZ. Very funny and extremely random with maybe few inside jokes, allusions to other entertainment, and MAJOR BUSH BASHING! Rated for safety. The story gets a bit creepy later. Reviews welcomed.

Disclaimer: None of us own IZ or anything else except the new names.

I welcome you to our insanity….

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

THE ZIM CHRONICLES

"Katt!" Erika interrupted as the insane duo raised their weapons. "He's unarmed! That's not like you!"

Katt threw Dib plastic spork. "There. Happy now?"

"Oh, come on! You've gotten way to into this!"

"Ya know, Erika," Katt said. "I really don't want to hurt you, but Zim doesn't really care so…could you please move?"

Erika went into thought. "Nah."

Katt looked at her friend pleadingly. Erika rolled her eyes and moved away. Katt and Zim raised their weapons again.

"Wait, listen to me, Katt," Dib begged. "You don't have to do this. Do you really want HIM as your ruler?"

Katt closed her light saber and her hands went to her hips. She looked at the pale boy indignantly.

"How would you know?! For all you know Zim could be a good leader! How do you know what his plans for Earth are?!"

As Katt continued her rant, Erika noticed Dib fiddling with something.

"You both want to be noticed as formidable members of your societies! Is that so-,"

"A closer look revealed that it was a laser gun.

"Katt!" Erika yelled. "LOOK OUT!"

Dib leaped foreword and aimed the gun at Zim. "Eat lasers, Zim!" Dib yelled.

"ZIM!" Katt exclaimed, jumping to knock Zim out of range.

"KATT!" Erika cried in worry.

"TACOOOOOS!" Gir announced.

Zim fell to the ground and Katt fell flat on her back. The only unfortunate happening was that Katt's shoelace was singed.

Gir giggled and ripped the shoelace from Katt's shoe and wrapped it around a stick. "Spaghetti!" he declared, and offered the shoelace to Lizz.

"Thank you, Gir!" She took the shoelace and ate it all in one bite.

"Wow," Gir said. "I love you so much, wife!" With that, he flew upward and kissed her right on the mouth.

"GIR! Do not KISS the filthy HUMAN! Do you want to get a filthy human WORM BABY?!"

"You can't get pregnant from kissing!" Erika informed him. "And we're not filthy, right Catelyn?" They all looked at her, but she was inspecting her armpits for mold and didn't answer.

"Katt?" Erika called.

"Uggha-ugh?" Katt looked up. Her brow furrowed in deep concentration. She suddenly realized where she was and quickly went back to Penguin Empress mode.

"I think it's up to Gir and Lizz whether they make babies or not." Katt said.

"Okay, that was weird," Lizz announced, wiping off her lips with the back of her hand.

"Yeah," Gir agreed.

"Let's never do that again."

"Kitty!" Gir screamed chasing after a little black cat that had been unfortunate enough to be in Gir's range of vision.

"Num-nums!" Katt bellowed, following after them, waving the light saber like club.

"We should probably follow her, huh?" Erika asked Lizz, who nodded. They made Chewbacca noises and suddenly he was right therein front of them. They jumped on his back and Erika ordered: "Follow that caveman!"

Dib glance sheepishly at Zim after they were gone.

"So," Zim said, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"So," Dib echoed.

They stared in each other's eyes for a long time until Erika sauntered back and said "Meh. I lost 'em."

Dib sighed and shook his head. "How could you be so blind, Erika? The world is in danger! And you and your friend seem to have no comprehension of that!"

Erika shrugged and replied, "Pollution, global warming, alien invasion…the worlds always in some kind of danger…. I say we just sit back and watch."

"Yes!" Zim raise a finger. "That's the submissive, slave-like attitude you STINKING, FILTHY humans need to have!"

Erika scoffed. "whatever, I'm going to find Catelyn then we're going to IHOP."

Dib, who'd been ranting nonsense to sir suddenly stopped and looked at her. "I like IHOP."

"Oh, well, why don't you come with me? I didn't want to wash dishes anyway."

Suddenly, Lizz and Gir fell from the sky with hand-gliders on their backs. Lizz's hair was frazzled and there was a bird's nest on Gir's head.

"Wow," Lizz said, "what a crazy adventure."

"We was flyin'!" Gir waved his arms. "And I hit a tree!"

"Dammit, Gir!" Zim grabbed the robot. "We're going home!"

"But…my taco wife! My taco wife!"

"Hey," Erika turned to Lizz and asked. "What happened to that big hairy thing?"

"Katt? She's still miss-,"

"NO, I mean Chewbacca."

"Oh. He fell into the water and drowned…or melted…." Lizz walked to Zim, towering above him. She simply tool Gir away from him and Zim frowned. He began to jump up and down for his robot and Lizz only laughed.

……………..

"Where am I?" Katt asked looking around. "I hate it when my subconscious cavemen personality takes over."

It was hot and sand littered every square ounce of land she saw. A cactus here, a lizard there…a camel…. She raised her fists and cried, "Hubba, hubba, zoot, zoot! I mean…wait…what did that mean?"

She had to get back to the others, but how? In the course of her caveman-like rampage, she'd lost her communicator. She'd also lost the shoe without laces and for some reason she had mud between her toes.

……………….

At IHOP, Erika, Lizz, Gir and Zim were seated in a booth. Oh and Dib too. He was about to sit by Erika, but she wagged a finger at him and said, "No, no. My coin purse sits here."

Dib frowned sadly. "Oh."

"Well, okay," Erika moved the coin purse. "You don't take up much room anyway."

Lizz and Gir were drinking from the different pitchers of syrup. Zim was complaining about anything and everything under the sun. Suddenly, a waitress zoomed by and practically loomed over them. "Are you ready to order?! Drink?! Food?!"

"But we haven't even opened our menus-,"

The waitress snarled like a Jurassic Park dinosaur. "You ORDER NOW!"

"We want waffles," Lizz said handing her menu over, then she and Gir began to Eskimo-kiss and talk in squeaky voices which made everyone else shift uncomfortably.

"I'll take French toast with strawberries," Erika said, "and a giraffe if you have it."

Zim and Dib glared at each other.

"He's an alien!"

"I'm not an alien!"

The waitress nodded, smiling and recited, "Okay, so I have two orders of waffles, a French toast with strawberries with a giraffe and two roasted aliens. Will that be all for you?"

Erika smiled. "That'll be it."

"Okay," she leaned over to Zim. "Would you like a kid's fun-filled coloring map, young man?"

"I'm not a young man. I am ZIM!"

………………

"So…hot…." Katt marine-crawled through the desert panting. "So…gritty…no penguins!"

She collapsed and sand blew over her. Soon, there was just a Katt-shaped heap of sand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Or is it?

Reviews Welcomed.