Chapter 6
Rather be in Love
Point of View: Sora
"You have to tell her now or you may not have a chance until your words will mean nothing to her."
I stared at Riku. I knew his words were true.
"I know…" I stammered, "But…"
"No. No more excuses. If you want her love, you have to tell her here and now."
"…"
Stepping back into the sunlight, I glanced at Kairi, standing opposite to me, from the corner of my eye. Kairi…she's…special. Yeah, I know we let go of our feelings two years ago, but now, I admit, I haven't.
The radiant golden sun kissed her tan skin, shining off her deep, beautiful ocean eyes. Her long auburn hair shone, and her face set to a tranquil stare out into the sea. I didn't notice how long I had been observing, or staring at her until I realized how oddly she was looking at me with a slight grin on her face.
"Something wrong, Sora?"
Her angelic voice was like gentle music fluently slipping off the keyboard.
"Oh! Err…nothing!"
"You sure? You had a kind of weird look on your face…"
"No! It was nothing! Just thinking to myself!"
Smiling a little nervously, I adjusted my gaze to the sea. God, I was gonna miss everything. Yeah, I know I act all confident and so sure of myself in front of Kairi, but seriously! What would she think of a guy who was completely scared of a little change? I bet Riku'd never feel like this…
Riku.
I glanced uncertainly at the tall figure. I could still remember those days years ago when we'd compete in everything, speed, fighting, any type of skills, and all for her, Kairi. Everything was for her. Every smile, every try, just forever competing for her heart, and I'd always live in Riku's shadow. I knew he was in love with her too. But for some strange reason, she chose me. Yes, me.
She and I. Me and Kairi. We were meant to be. But over those two life threatening years trapped in Kingdom Hearts, trying, struggling to find a way to bring Riku and King Mickey back from the dark, her feelings for me had faded. At first, I suspected nothing. We all acted the same, the three of us were still best friends, but before too long, I began to realize that something was missing. The something that was between Kairi and me. The something that bonded our hearts and our love.
It was gone. The special spark that connected us was gone, dissolved with time. I couldn't believe it that day I realized. Kairi felt nothing for me. How could that be? I know two years is a long time to wait, to ask for, but couldn't her heart hold on just a little longer? I knew there and then, I had to find someway to make her faded feelings burn bright again, but that turned out to be harder than I bargained for…
For someone who's always been very observant and has noticed practically everything, she's been rather oblivious to the obvious signs I've been throwing at her. I've been trying, straining, for almost a year now to let her know my true feelings, so hers may have a chance to rekindle. But, as it turns out, either she's changed incredibly, or she just doesn't want to see…
Stretching, I ran my long, slender fingers through my spiky chestnut hair. I quickly glanced at Kairi. She was still looking outward into the ocean. What was she so concentrated on that would contain her thoughts so long? Looking at her expression, lost in thought, she looked like a child again. The sweet, innocent child I fell in love with…
"Give me a break, Kairi."
"Sora, you lazy bum. I knew that I'd find you snoozing down here."
"Say, Kairi, what was your hometown like? You know, where you grew up.""I've told you before, I don't remember.""Nothing at all?""Nothing." "Sora, let's take the raft and go-just the two of us!""Huh?""Just kidding!""What's gotten into you? You're the one that's changed, Kairi.""Maybe... You know, I was a little afraid at first, but now I'm ready. No matter where I go or what I see, I know I can always come back here. Right?""Yeah, of course!""That's good. Sora, don't ever change.""Huh?""I just can't wait. Once we set sail, it'll be great."Regaining control of my thoughts, my curious eyes wandered once more to Riku. This time, he was looking at me too. He nodded towards her, signaling for me to tell me my message. But I couldn't. My voice halted within my lungs. I looked back at Riku, and gave him a 'yeahlikeyoucoulddothat' glare. He rolled his eyes, and averted his gaze back to the ocean.
I sighed. "Just do it." Hmph. Easy for him to say. It's not like he ever had to confess to some girl that he has strong feelings for that he apparently 'loves' her. I looked back at Kairi. And besides...what if she doesn't say it back?
My courage failed, and I spent pretty much the rest of the boat ride talking to the others, actually trying to avoid Kairi. I don't know...it's just become harder to talk to her lately, unless she's alone and depressed. Okay, secret's out. I didn't just happen to see her on the dock by chance. Well, kind of...
I lay on my bed doing nothing in particular, just staring into the ceiling. I sighed. How could Kairi not realize I'm still in love with her? I mean, I've been throwing at her the most obvious signs, which even her new friend, Janice are starting to question me! Now, my slight sense of despair turned into a sense of annoyance.
Why was everything going so wrong for me? I mean, I haven't done anything wrong, hell, I even saved the whole world out there!
"Sora! You'd better start packing soon! I told you to do that last week, so you'd get it out of the way!"
My eyes, which had become slits, squinted even smaller. Ugh...I just didn't feel like doing anything right now...
"I will!"
"Soon," I mumbled quietly to myself, hardly above a whisper.
12:57 am
I yawned. Okay, so I didn't start packing exactly so soon, but I will...soon... Okay, this isn't working out. I'm leaving tomorrow, and I haven't even started packing! Better start...if I can get up...
I've been in the same position for hours, and now, my legs are feeling a little numb... Reacting a little too suddenly, I rolled off the side of my bed, and fell splat on the floor. I growled as I pulled myself to my feet. Stretching, I felt another yawn escape. Glancing out my window, I thought I saw a figure walking outside...
A few minutes later, I glanced outside again. This time, I saw the silhouette sitting down. This couldn't be some trick. I gazed on, completely mesmerized. The wind blew through her hair, lifting it gently, and then setting it down again. Her ghostly skin seemed to glow palely in the moonlight. The gentle beams of light revealed the auburn color of her long hair...
Wait...that's Kairi! Why would she be wandering outside at this hour? Hauling the window open, I slipped outside to meet her. I could see her face tilted towards me as I approached her. Her eyelids were shut, and I realized she was asleep. I brushed my hand against her flesh, only to realize how icy cold it was. Running back to my house, I snatched a blanket from the still open window.
I knew I couldn't carry her back. I didn't want to arouse her from her peaceful sleep, and besides, I know she always locks the door to her house after she exits, and I wasn't about to search her for the key.
Returning to her, I gently placed the blanket over her. Sitting down next to her, I lifted the other end of the blanket over me. I was surprised by her reaction, for her shivering body crept closer to this new source of heat. I could hear her mumbling some words, which, judging her soft tone, were describing...sadness?
"...don't...why...please...love...you..."
Interested in these set of words, I asked her,
"Kairi, do you love me?"
I waited a few moments, but she didn't answer. I sighed in defeat. Then, I heard her mumbling again.
"Sora...I..."
And that's all I heard before she fell silent again.
Reflecting on the events last night, well, I guess it makes me depressed. I was so close to knowing her feelings, even if it was just sleep talking. I greeted Wakka as he took a seat next to me.
"Hey, mon." he said cheerfully, his Jamaican accent crystal clear, "You excited?"
"Yeah, but kind of nervous too."
"Yea, I know what you mean. I felt that way too my first year."
Feeling I could trust him, I decided to ask him, out of the blue,
"Hey, Wakka? You ever worry about falling in love? You know, not having anyone there?"
He thought for a moment before answering.
"Well...I guess that would be a problem for someone like you! Still young..."
"Hey! You're only older by a year!"
He chuckled.
"Well, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. When the right girl comes, you'll know!"
His words swarmed in my head for a while, and many weeks to come. We sat in silence for a few moments.
"So," he started again, "Who's your girl? Kairi, eh?"
My blushing face answered him. He gave another chuckle.
"Don't worry about it; I'm sure she likes you too!"
"You think...?"
"Yeah! You know what, brudda, you worry too much. Later."
He walked away, thinking about our conversation. I swear I heard him praise himself.
Okay. So lets back up for a second and take a second to realize where everyone is. Kairi's on the deck, and last I heard, Selphie and Tidus were on the observation deck, Wakka was heading for the cabins, Riku's in that café, and I think that Janice-girl's, well, she's probably with Kairi, and yours truly, I'm just outside the bridge, which overlooks most of the ship.
9:00 sharp
I released a yawn as I stretched out my arms. This boat ride was almost over. Just half an hour left.
"Hey Sora."
"Hey, Selph, what's up?"
I smiled warmly at her. Unlike four years ago, her attire didn't consist of the bright yellow color, strangely enough, she was wearing...black.
"You really like Kairi, don't you."
"Wha-how'd you know?"
She laughed sweetly, but something about it was missing...yeah, it was her old liveliness.
"Kind of obvious, don't you think? You're constantly gazing at her."
I gave her a big lopsided grin.
"Yeah...I guess."
"She doesn't really get it, does she?"
"Nothing escapes you!"
"Well, you'd better tell her soon, you won't be seeing her for a while."
With that, she left me feeling partly confused and in thought.
Then, I focused my attention more on Selphie's personality. Why hadn't I noticed how much she's changed before? Then I thought, why did she change in the first place? Well, I suppose a person's allowed to change, Kairi certainly has. Going back to Selphie, a sudden flashback ran through my mind, when I just didn't mean to be eavesdropping...
"...you know what I hate the most about you? The fact you're so happy-go-lucky and have never ending energy. It makes me sick..."
I watched as Kairi started grabbing her luggage. I knew our time together was almost over...
"Here, let me help you."
"Thanks, Sora."
She flashed me one of her truly gorgeous smiles that made my heart melt.
Riku and Selphie's words rang clear in my ears.
"You have to tell her now..."
"...you won't be seeing her for a while."
I sighed. Could it really be this hard to confess your love to someone?
"Stop 3! We are now approaching ValenciaIsland! Please make sure your boarding luggage is with you at all times! Thank you for choosing your ride with Destiny Waters! And we look forward to seeing you soon!"
My heartbeat almost stopped when I heard that horrible announcement. No... Was it really so soon? I found myself realizing I'd be missing Kairi probably more than my own mother! I watched as she hugged Wakka. I could see Riku whispering some words into her ear as his turn came. It was heartbreaking to see her and Janice embrace, for you just know how much they'll miss each other by the tears in the corners of their eyes.
Kairi turned to me with a look of sadness in her eyes, a faint smile pasted on her thin face. I returned the regretful look, my heart heavy.
"Well, I guess this is my stop." She started, not really knowing how to say goodbye.
I cannot help it
I couldn't stop it if I tried
The same old heartbeat fills the
Emptiness I have inside
And I heard you can't fight love,
So I won't complain
'Cause why would I stop the fire that
Keeps me going on?
"Bye, Kai," I said softly smiling sadly, "I'll miss you."
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
But without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love with you
"I'll miss you too," she smiled, her eyes filled with sorrow and passion.
Turn out the lights now
To see is to believe
I just want you near me
I just want you here with me
And I'd give up everything only for you
It's the least that I could do
She began to turn away, and then she faced me again. She dropped all of her luggage and threw her arms around me giving me a tight embrace which I held on to with my life.
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
But without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love with you
That moment, I felt as if Kairi really loved me too.
And I feel you holding me
She released our hold and quickly snatched her items and quickly walked down the platform, not daring to look back.
Why are we afraid to be in love?
To be loved
I can't explain it
I know it's tough to be loved
I just couldn't let her go like this.
And I feel you holding me
"Kairi!"
She looked back. I knew tears were threatening to spill.
"I-I..."
So many people were watching me. I glanced at Riku, Selphie, and Wakka. They were nodding slightly, while others waited eagerly to hear my message that was only for Kairi alone.
Oh, oh
And when there's you, I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
But without you I'm alone
"I-I..."
Kairi faced me completely waiting for me to say it.
And I'd rather be in love
Yes, I'd rather be in love
Oh, I'd rather be in love with you
"I need to tell you something."
"All passengers departing, this is the last call. Please disembark immediately. Thank you."
Kairi glanced at me worriedly, for this was her stop. I had no choice.
And I feel you holding me, oh
"But not here, not now. We'll talk...soon."
I glanced at Riku. He was shaking his head in defeat, as was Wakka. Selphie just closed her eyes and looked down.
"Let's go, Kai," Selphie said to her, motioning for her to go.
They waved to us as they walked down the platform. Soon Kairi, soon.
Then, the ship began moving again, heading for its next destination. 'Goodbye'-s were shouted and replied.
"See you guys!" I shouted, waving wildly, "We'll see you soon!"
My heart sunk as Kairi grew smaller and smaller, slowly disappearing from my sight. I held back any tears that threatened to fall.
"We'll see you soon..."
Those words are false. It'll be a good couple of months before I see any of them.
Kairi...
I turned from the sight. She was gone, and I hadn't told her.
I'll miss you...
Author's Notes: Wow!!! That's got to be the longest chapter I've ever written! And I'm darn proud of it! I spent hours sitting in front of the computer typing all this junk! (What?! You AGREE?! This is NOT junk!!!) So Selphie has a reason! You guys think I should make a chapter out of it? Can you believe Sora didn't get to tell her?!
Yes, yes, I'm very evil. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, please review!
Reviews:
Juzluvnsora: Mwahahahahahahaha!!! I know your name!!! nodnod Hey everyone! I know her name!!! It's !!! Hope you liked this chapter!
luv1nyOu: Hey girl! Sorry! I told you you'd be in this chapter but you weren't! Oh well...I'll dedicate a whole chapter to you! And Sean and Wendy's gonna be in it! What do you think? Talk later!
madcow863: Hey, I'm so glad you like my writing! Yeah, I know, I'm the best! Glad you like our writing. I swear, I'll update the story Amanda and I are working on soon. Plz R&R!
Astaldotholwen: Hey Candy! (Mind if I call you that? That's what I call this other girl about your age named Candice) Too bad about your chapter... Well, hope you get it up soon!
aliasfan: Hey Holly! (Sorry if I'm mixing your name with someone else) The person in the scrapbook is...I have no clue! Naw...it's...it's...I'll tell later. And your prediction is...correct! I'll try to check out your writing when I have time, 'kay? Later!
Hey everyone! Check out my new story I'm working on with Lvkishugs! It's called "Message in a Bottle," and if you have trouble finding it, there's a link in my newly improved biography! Please R&R everyone! Later!
-Lyphe