Empire of Dreams

Written by Doggiegal

Chapter 4: Dude Looks Like a Lady

As per usual, I wake up at the crack of dawn. Nobody else is up this early—they'd keel over from exhaustion. I'm an early bird; what can I say? I usually lie back down on my bed and stare at the ceiling as I think about things, but today I have a mission. I'm going to sneak downstairs in an attempt to wrap Shiek's present. In all the excitement, I completely forgot. Plus, I need to sign the card Aryll, my little sis, made. The card is filled with seagulls and bunnies—her two favorite animals. She decorates all cards with them; for example, my birthday card features a bunny wearing a green cap, shirt, and pants while eating cake surrounded by seagulls faintly resembling my foster parents and the two Harkinians. I think the bunny was supposed to be me, if the arrow above his head labeled 'Link' is any indication.

I quietly (yeah, okay, maybe I wasn't as quiet as I'd like to think) sneak downstairs, the Mission Impossible theme song running through my head. What? It's catchy! I mean, at least I didn't try to make up my own theme song like Kronk did. He's not musically talented, but it's not as if I sing well either. In fact, the only instrument I play is this little ocarina. It's not manly or cool or anything, but I happen to think I'm quite good at it. Think being the key word, that is. Back on topic, I also get out wrapping paper, the gift (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children), the card and envelope (as mentioned previously), and a pen from my bag of junk. Getting the card ready is relatively easy. I open the card, sign my name, and lick the envelope closed. I write his name on the card as well, just in case he has amnesia or something and forgets it's his birthday we're celebrating.

Now here comes the hard part—actually wrapping the present. I'm not particularly klutzy; I just have a bad history with sticky things. Yes, that includes glue, tape, regular stickers, Post-Its, nametags—if it sticks, I have trouble. I'm not exactly sure why, though. Wonder if it's in the genes. But anyway, one way or another I usually end up wrapping myself instead of the present. Too bad there weren't any gift bags at home.

After about an hour of pain, mishaps, and starting anew, I finally finish my gruesome task. It's funny how I can finish games like Kingdom Hearts in a snap, yet I fear the wrapping of a present. Now, what should I do? I figure waking the birthday boy and/or his lovely mother would earn me a bunch of bruises. I really don't want to beaten up this early. I decide that reading my book while listening to my i-Pod would probably be my best bet, seeing as how I won't wake up any irritable inhabitants of this house.

I creep upstairs, my copy of The Da Vinci Code as well as my i-Pod video being in my bag of stuff. I open the door as quietly as I can (which is still pretty noisily, seeing as how the door creaks at even the slightest movement), and carefully make my way as to not step on her sleeping body as I reach my bag of junk. Suddenly, I realize something that causes me to stop what I am doing.

Wait a minute, her ear? I do a double take, seriously weirded out by this unique turn of events. The sleeping girl looks eerily familiar, which only serves to freak me out more. I, against my better judgment, decide to poke the pretty (I did not just think that!) sleeper awake. And, of course, I quickly realize why I should listen to the little voices in my head. Okay, the one voice in my head. I don't have more than one.

So, I'm stuck with a now-awake stranger in a bedroom in pajamas. Not the most appropriate of situations, let me tell you. And obviously the young woman was annoyed with the interruption of her "beauty sleep."

"What the hell is your problem, dude?"

I blink. Excuse me, princess. I'm not any happier by this turn of events than you are.

"Who exactly are you?" At this, a worried look appeared on her face.

"Link, are you alright? I'm the same as I've always been."

"How do you know my name? What are you doing here?"

"Hello? Remember me, Sheik? Ya know, your best friend for roughly seven years?"

…What the heck?

"Listen, Lady, I think I'd be able to tell the difference between Sheik, my best friend, and you, a random girl."

"You seriously need glasses. I'm no girl."

"Oh, really? Why don't you look in the mirror?"

"Fine, I will!" The blonde stomped away, sleep-deprived and agitated. It wasn't much longer afterwards, however, when I heard a scream loud enough to wake the dead.

"What the hell happened to me?"

Author's Note: Sorry about the delay; the last couple of weeks have been hectic. The song is "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)" by Aerosmith. Oh, and I also apologize to those who enjoyed our favorite Shiekah (which looks suspiciously like Shekinah, a word derived from the Hebrew verb 'sakan' or 'shachan' - to dwell or to reside) as his own person, but that's the way the story goes.

-Doggiegal