Empire of Dreams
Written by Doggiegal
Chapter 6: Ain't That Unusual
Smile and nod. That is my response to the insanity that was just told to me. Smile and nod. Impa and Zelda—or Shiek, supposedly—have attempted to sell me this ridiculous story. As an act of kindness (or maybe not), I decide to humor them and play along. "So…what exactly do I have to do as the 'Hero of Time'?" They seem surprised that I am accepting this so well. If only they knew.
"Well, the two of you will have to locate the five other sages. They should be in professions or places related to their elements. Here, I've made a list."
I look down at the paper placed in my hands. Were these real people, or just figments of this crazy lady's mind? But that thought provides the clarity I had previously put on a shelf. This was Impa, who I've known for seven years. She's not big on jokes, especially ones like this. There was actual proof that Zelda and Shiek were the same, too. Sure she was wearing the same clothes he slept in, but what was more important was that I could tell that she honestly believed that she was a boy. In fact, I heard her scream after she looked in the mirror.
The paper, now that I had realized the truth in what had earlier seemed to be a fable, had a new meaning. This was what we'd use to accomplish…whatever it was we needed to do. Impa hadn't gotten that far yet.
Sage : Element—Full Name, Place of Occupation
Saria : Forest—Saria Kokiri, Deku Parks
Darunia: Fire—Darunia Goron, Rock Grills
Raruru: Light—Raruru Watts, Shine Electric
Ruto: Water—Ruto Rhine, Rhine Pools
Nabooru: Spirit—Nabooru Nabudim, Gypsy
At the end, there were two names crossed out—Impa's and Zelda's, the Sage of Shadow and the Seventh Sage, respectively.
"You'll also need to find Gannondorf's cousin," Impa adds. "Her great-something-grandmother was his great-something-grandfather's older sister, and because the Triforce passed through the oldest child, there was a change because Gannondorf's ancestors wanted the male of the family to carry on the tradition. They settled the argument by splitting the Triforce in half. The eldest got one half, and the male got the other. As you can probably guess, Gannondorf's not content with just one half of what he believes to be rightfully his. This cousin will need your protection, and protecting her will keep Gannondorf at his current power level."
I wonder if that was supposed to be comforting. It didn't quite sound that way to me. Rather, it sounded slightly intimidating.
"But if we need to do all this traveling, it'll take time, so what will happen with school? I mean, I'm planning to graduate and go to college, so I do need to be there to finish out the year." Impa just smirks, and I get a bad feeling.
"Don't worry about that. I have my ways of getting everything back to the way it should be." Yep, she's definitely got something wicked up her sleeve. We should fear for our lives.
"Okay. So…how are we going to get to these places?" This is like a video game, so maybe it'll have some fancy thing we can use. "Is there a mystical means of transportation? An 'Ocarina of Time' that you play songs on to teleport you places?" I cross my arms, feeling stupid at Impa and Zelda's confused looks.
"What are you talking about, boy? That's nonsense! You're seventeen, aren't you? You'll drive places, genius. With a car, not some pansy ocarina. Eat too many fruit loops?" Zelda giggles at my expense.
I sigh. Okay, so the whole ocarina idea was pretty crazy. Not one of my better ideas, let me tell you. Quietly, I let Impa lead us to her old truck. She opens the doors of the car and tosses the keys to me. I catch them awkwardly, and slide them into my pocket. This, unsurprisingly, causes Zelda to complain.
"How come dumb ole' Link gets the keys? I'm more responsible!" She stomps her foot.
"You, responsible? Hah, don't make me laugh. You'd have lost your head years ago if it weren't attached to your shoulders! Besides, I expect you to use this," and at that she hands over a large book entitled Proper Princess: How To Walk, Talk, and Everything Else You'll Need To Know, "to learn how to be a proper lady, because Heaven knows you don't have a clue. And first off, no self-respecting queen would ever drive her own car. Think of Link as your own personal chauffer, if that makes you feel any better."
This elicits a grin from her, and I groan. "I'm nobody's chauffer," I vehemently declare. With a look of 'Yeah, sure you're not,' Zelda climbs into the passenger seat. I follow her lead and hop into the driver's seat. I fish out the keys, and, to tease Zelda, I turn to her and spin them around. She growls at me angrily, and I laugh. Zelda is Shiek. Shiek is Zelda. They may be different physically, but inside—mentally—they're the same.
We wave goodbye to Impa, who threatens to massacre me if the truck gets damaged. I gulp—threats from Impa aren't meant to be taken lightly—and start the car, backing it up and driving off.
The car ride is mostly quiet, save for the music pumping through the speakers, until Zelda lets out a cry of horror. I turn to face her in confusion, and she points to the car next to us. My eyes widen in recognition.
Camouflage Guy.
Author's Note: "Ain't That Unusual" is by the Goo Goo Dolls. I apologize for the extreme delay; school and everything just caught up with me. Plus, my muse ran away, but I think I'm back now.
-Doggiegal