Chapter 13: Interview and Consequence
(a/n: Mwahahaha, I wrote this chapter in two days! writers block gone! I am so happy! see I wasn't lying when I said the next update would be soon)
I woke up this morning to always appreciated feeling of swatted with a rolled-up news paper.
"Mum" I whined, burying me head under the covers
"You had to get up sometime " she snapped.
Mum had been in a fierce mood since Khan left
She obviously wasn't content with just having just me here.
That really was rather a depressing thought.
That blasted interview had also put a downer on things.
It played a few nights ago but mum wouldn't let me watch it so I stayed trapped inside my room.
I wonder why she wouldn't let me watch it
Did she not trust I could control my anger?
That had to be it, I mean what other reason could there be?
So mum spent that horrible hour in the living room with only a bottle of red wine for company.
I had a vague clue of what Aera said on the interview ... the next day I scrounged around for the paper and found it scrunched up in the bin.
It basically said Aera had told "The most shocking story of the year ... in vivid detail" meaning she hadn't left a single juicy detail out.
Ugh, sometimes society made me sick.
When I walked into the kitchen mum was ironing her work clothes which consisted of a dark green tank top and shorts ... suitable for desert work.
"Your going on a dig?" I asked her dumbly, trying to remember when she had told me.
"Yep, all the way out in Bikanel, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon" Mum replied simply
"You didn't tell me" I whined
"Sorry I must of forgot"
Typical
"Can I stay here by myself?" I asked enthusiastically, excitement pricking inside me.
"Of course not" Mum dismissed
"Why?" I continued
"You cant stay out here by yourself ... what if something happened, the nearest house is Jame's"
That settled the argument because I would rather be murdered and cut up in to little pieces then have to run to Jame's for help.
"So who's staying with me ... it isn't Brother and Fshea is it?" I asked warily
"No ... no, Pops wants to stay with you, he's been whining he hasn't seen you in ages" Mum replied
"Oh ... I guess that will be okay" I answered uncertainly.
Although Pops could be quite full on at times he was pretty loveable ... despite his fierce temper which he had definitely passed down to his darling grandchildren.
"He'll be here in a few hours ... have fun" Mum smirked
Mum had an odd relationship with Cid
They almost never got along but somehow there fighting seemed to show there affection for each other more then any act of kindness.
Mum (as odd as it was) always seemed to be attracted to the people she argued with.
So why on earth was she attracted to Mishaai?
Several hours later Pops was inspecting the house, looking fussy and annoyed at the state of it.
"Why don't that girlie of mine buy a nicer house" Pops growled fingering the peeled beige paint.
"I dunno ... it's not bad .." I lied
Pops "hmph'd" childishly and moved on to the living room.
I tagged behind him rubbing my temple in annoyance.
"Gawd damn this sofa is lumpy ... and yeh that mum expects me to sleep on it" Cid whined
"Ah yes?" I replied weakly
Cid muttered something about his ungrateful daughters lack of hospitality
"Come watch some SphereVision with me, tell me what ya been doing with yeh self" Pops asked, sinking down into the lumpy sofa.
"Just the usual" I replied, as Cid flicked through the SphereVision channels
"Got yeh self a boyfriend girlie?" Pop asked with curiosity as a kissing couple flashed across the screen
"No, Jame hates me" I muttered
"Jame ... Jame ... oh ... Khans friend eh?" Pops said trying to remember
"Yeah him" I replied awkwardly
I hadn't expected pops to actually care
Cant win em all but there will be plenty more if you end up looking like that girlie of mine"
"I don't look like mum now?" I asked with interest
"Sometimes yeh do ... when yeh angry" Cid growled proudly
"Mum said I looked exactly like you when i'm angry" I laughed ... which believe me lately that had been a rare occurrence
"Never ... I don't have a temper" Cid whined defensively ... but then he gave a humorous wink and took a gulp out of his beer can.
"Yeh mum says you been angry lately"
"No I haven't I just -"
"Yeh threw a screw-driver at Khans head in a fit a rage" Pops interrupted
"It's all Jame's fault" I muttered moodily
"Yeh cared about him a lot?" Pops asked awkwardly, probably not wanting to get into a conversation about his beloved grandaughters love life
"He made me forget ... about the divorce ... and everything" I answered sadly
Somehow it didn't feel odd telling Cid this ... because I had needed to talk to someone about it for so long ... as strange as it was Pops was the perfect person.
I mean he got angry, he threatened ... but if you really got through to him he listened ... but most importantly he really did care.
"Now that Jame's gone yeh gotta put up with this rubbish all day every day" Cid nodded
wow, somebody actually gets it my mind thought with relief ... for the last month I had felt about as understood as a wild fiend.
"Yeah and now I cant get away ... it all just ... like builds up"
"Then get just as angry as that psychotic Shuyin fella?" Cid offered
"Yeah ... but who's Shuyin?" I asked with confusion
"Eh get yeh mum to tell yeh one day ... it's a long story ... he was all mixed up in that bloody Vegnagun business"
My stomach dropped slightly at the thought of trying to communicate with mum
"Oh ... okay"
Cid sunk lower into the sofa and took another sip of his beer "Bloody family shows" he whined "cant get nothin' decent on ere anymore"
I smiled slightly but I was still thinking about how my stomach had dropped at the thought of trying to have a conversation with mum.
Lately mum and I just didn't work ... there was so much friction and fighting that I doubt she even liked being in the same room as me.
She didn't even let me watch the interview and she had mentioned nothing about how she had even felt about it.
Where had the trust gone?
Why had she stopped confiding in me?
Ever since Cid had gotten here I had felt calmer ... and the house almost seemed bearable
I didn't want him to leave ... unless I could have Rikku - my mother back, not this cold robotic shell that had replaced her.
For gawds sakes she didn't even tell me she was leaving until the last minute.
The only time she showed even the slightest bit of emotion was when Mishaai was around, when she saw Aera on SphereBloid, and the morning Khan left.
I was feeling pretty unloved ... and that didn't improve my mood one bit.
I guess it all come down to Jame
I missed him so much ... just having someone there to always talk to ... someone to tell me they actually care about me ... someone who wont run off to Djose and leave me behind.
Jame gave my something to think about, to look forward to
Now I had nothing
I didn't want to be this way
I didn't want to be angry, mean and bitter
I didn't want to turn the rest of my loved ones against me
So what to do?
Be more pleasant around people?
I knew that would be a waste of energy, I couldn't just pretend to be happy when I was aching and miserable inside.
I needed Jame back ... he couldn't just forget about me dammit ... it wasn't right.
Ever wake up to the sound of a SphereVision ringing mercilessly?
I did the next morning
Eventually I could no longer bury my head under my covers and wait for the piercing noise to stop so I stumbled into the Living Room and picked up the wailing thing which was next to a snoring Cid.
How anyone could sleep through that awful shrill I did not know.
I answered the SphereVision and saw Khans face.
"Sissy -" He started.
Too late ... I had already hung up.
I guess he must of been having a guilt trip about abandoning his sister in a silent war zone
If he was looking for forgiveness anytime soon he shouldn't look for it here.
I still was unspeakably angry at him and I was happier when I didn't have to think of him.
I guess I was also jealous he got to leave this damned desert
I mean I could live with dad if I really wanted to ... but no matter how angry I was with mum, and how cold she was being ... I just couldn't do that to her.
I was a prisoner of my own conscience
The CommSphere didn't ring again
I had been staring at myself in the mirror for that last hour and attacking my messy blonde hair with a comb
I was eating bacon for breakfast this morning and a memory flashed through my mind of when Jame had come over for breakfast once and I was in those disastrous chocobo pajamas.
I smiled fondly at the memory and I knew then I had to see Jame today.
So I went to my bedroom with fierce determination to formulate a brilliant plan that would make somehow Jame forgive me ... and make everything right again.
One hour later I had still not thought of this brilliant plan
My swirly green eyes remained blank
The only thing I could do was knock on his door and beg for forgiveness
My stomach churned uncomfortably at that thought
I didn't like begging ...
I shook my head angrily
This is Jame you selfish bint! my mind snapped at me
I knew then I had to make an exception
I had to let my pride go
I summoned the courage to leave the house an hour and a half later.
Cid was reluctant to let me out of his sight because he had this phobia that I would run off on an adventure and abandon him.
I firmly told him I wasn't as random as mum was when she was fifteen and Pops let me leave the house.
I loved leaving the house ... even to check the letterbox
It was a windy day and the sand blew mercilessly in my face, stinging my eyes.
One of the negatives of living in desert I guess
It would usually take twenty minutes to walk to Jame's if I walked fast ... but today I was walking unusually slow.
My hands couldn't stop shaking and long apology speeches that I had practiced ran through my head
I was so sure this was going to work when I left the house ... so why was I feeling so nervous now?
I continued to walk ... knees getting shakier and weaker by each step.
Still I struggled on until I saw Jame's dusty pale blue house and the rusty gate.
My stomach shook violently as I came closer.
That was when I noticed the people at the front of his house ... and loud music filled my ears
By instinct I dived behind a large prickly brown plant common in Sanubia and watched.
In the distance I could see Jame chatting to his friend Kiyak.
Jame
My heart flip flopped as I realised this was the first time I had seen him since that awful night just over a month ago ...
I spied Asha in the distance, mingling around the party ... her sun kissed blonde hair shimmering in the sunlight
Anger that Cid had tried to mellow out begun to rise again.
I was moping at home heartbroken and Jame was having parties!
Angrily I turned around and begun to storm back home
I must of made an attractive sight with my twisted knotty blonde hair and my puffy red-rimmed eyes that the sand had gotten into.
I couldn't believe it ... I mean I knew he was trying to get over me from what Khan had said ... but I didn't expect this.
When I was a nice safe distance from Jame's house I collapsed on the sand and attempted to filter it all ...
I was so angry right now ... but really I was more hurt if anything
I just wished I didn't have to be so soft sometimes and that I could just see Jame as a jerk and never think of him again.
I knew that was unlikely though ... because I knew Jame wasn't a jerk ... he was far from it.
When I think of Jame I think of the person he was when we were together.
I knew that wouldn't change ... no matter how angry I was.
When I finally come home ... emotionally drained and hungry, I found mum waiting for me preparing a bowl of spicy soup.
"Hi mum" I greeted warily
"Hi Neeka" Mum replied plainly, stirring my bowl
Mum had just twisted the blade that Jame had already stuck inside of me with her cold greeting.
I sat at the round circular table in the plain beige kitchen and took a sip of my soup.
The soup was stone cold
Somehow I wasn't surprized
"How was your dig?" I asked mum in attempt to somehow connect with her.
"Mishaai messed up the co-ordinates, it set us back" Mum replied
The rest of dinner was completely silent after that
I wondered if it would always be like that now that Khan was gone
I wondered how long this ... women who was supposed to be my mother would be around for
Mostly I wondered how long I could handle this house for.
I was breaking up ... and I knew it.
(a/n: ahhh poor Neeka, I am so cruel to her, this way another "Neeka's Feelings" chapter basically ... it's funny how stories evolve, like at the start it was about a divorce and now it's becoming this "coming of age/learning to deal" type story as well ... I cant believe how long it is now! the longest story I have EVER written. I am so excited about the coming chapters. Haha, I am one happy author right now ... yeah sorry about that ramble, anyway I hope you didn't find the chapter too boring ... and REVIEW so I can reach the big 100!)
REVIEW REPLIES
Jezzi: Thanks for the review! it never ceases to amaze me when someone tells me they have gotten emotional over a chapter
FairyIce: Your review comforted me! I felt so bad about the long space between the updates, but I swear I am going to start making up for it now! I was happy someone had commented on the fence metaphor ... it was the only way I could describe how Neeka was feeling about Jame.
Green-eyed-blond/Emmy Miester: lol, threaten me all you wish ... they make me happy! oooh tearing an Aera plushie to bits sounds good right now eh? I was surprized you felt sorry for Khan, because most people were angry at him ... but I felt sorry for him too! lol
oOoRikku4EveroOo: I hate fighting also ... which is odd because my story contains so much of it. Thanks for another much appreciated review!
Krystall Trensk: Yay! you understood why Khan needed to leave, because you are right, he and Neeka are completely different people who handle different situations in different ways, but yeah I reckon Neeka anger is justified, poor dear, lol, Mishaai is just stupid ... but he is there unfortunately.
PSPhreak: Don't apologise! I know what you mean about studying ...it should come before reading fanfiction, lol! thanks for the compliment about my characterisations, it made me blush! I was very happy. I love Jame also ... theres just something about him I have liked from day one. You discovered a hole in plot that I was hoping would go unnoticed until I found the perfect moment to fit it in ... and well I never really did find that perfect moment in previous chapters but I have finally worked out where I can slot it in ... so Khan will talk about it soon. Your right about Neekas weird mood swing from Hopeful to Angry, at the start of last chapter I had kind of lost Neeka and my plot because I had fierce writers block and looking back it does seem a rather drastic change but I think her and Jame's breakup really shook her up ... so I tried to give an explanation to her anger in this chapter, I hope it kind of cleared things up for you. Your review helped me as I was writing this chapter because without it I wouldn't of noticed the oddities about last chapter and I probably would not of attempted to fix them. Thanks very much!
MoMo-ChAn1: I don't mind birds really, very graceful creatures ... chickens, hens and roosters are the exception though ... I have been attacked that many times on my aunties farm! Yeah Neeka is cracking up a bit, sorry about that long space between updates!
FlyHigh4Life: hehe, may I have a poke at that voodoo doll, thanks for your review! it made me laugh like crazy
Moogle Girl: haha, yeah Aera needs a good slapping (I presume you were talking about her not Neeka) lol, yay free Tidus Poster ... this makes my week drool of course I will read your stories! so get writing!
Rikkuhasgil: This was a very touching review for me and I thank you so much for taking the time to write it! it warmed my heart
randomcat23: Ugh, I am so sorry about the horrible updating wait, I am going to start making up for it now!
MadMaz: omg, I am relieved to hear from you, it wasn't your wonderful input I was afraid of losing (which would be a shame) , I thought you might of died or something. Thankfully it was only your computer and you are alive and well. As usual your reviews are pretty much the highlight of my week ... I mean you have been here with my since chapter one and 29000 words, thirteen chapters, and 96 reviews later you are still as faithful to the story as ever and that means a lot to me! I have actually already wrote the first chapter for a new story which I will begin posting as soon as I finish this. It will be called "Time Behind" I cant wait for you to read it! anyway I'm glad you liked chapter 11 and 12, I hope you like this one also. One of my regrets is not having more chapters lined up for you to read.