Disclaimer; I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

Trees. Everywhere. Petals raining down. Clear, cloudless, open sky. Grass.

Fire.

Hinamori whirled around, gasping for breath. No matter how far she ran she always managed to come back to the clearing, and no matter which direction she took none of them contained Tobiume.

But then there, a flash of colour out of the corner of her eye. Crimson gold. She turned, raced, panted, paused. Breathless. She stared, mouth open as she looked at the flower. Another bird of paradise. She eyed it warily, almost unwilling to proceed. Was this it? She came in search of Tobiume, only to find another flower? It couldn't be. She screamed in frustration, screamed because somewhere along the line that had become her response to everything as eternal day wore on in this place. It was almost a joke that this place, her heart, could be so beautiful, so filled with sunlight and gentle breezes when she knew she was a mess externally, bruised, broken, thrown aside, clinging to the small sliver of hope that Aizen was being forced into these things by Ichimaru and Tousen even though she knew deep down that the cold smile he'd shown her as the blade plunged deeper had been far too real, far too him, far too painful to comprehend.

Her voice gave out on her and she sobbed, sinking to the ground. What was left? What was that fragile looking flower hiding? Shaking fingers reached out to touch the petals.

She paused, unable to still her hand. "Tobiume?"

I do not know. This is your heart, Momo.

She sobbed again, one hand outstretched to the flower, the other finding its way to her stomach and clutching at fabric, all still shaking. "I can't. I just can't. I still want to see him!"

You will die then. You have come too far.

"I just, if I understood I could, if I could talk to him, bring him back!"

Hinamori Momo! There is no one to bring back! Why must you be so stubborn on this? Do you not wish to know what was kept from you by that traitor? Will you let yourself fade away because he left you? Will you run to his side like an obedient little puppy or will you finally do something for yourself?

The wind picked up. She continued to shake, trying to calm her mind, calm the wind, calm herself. Why was she even doing this?

Aizen had left her for dead. He had made her point her zanpakuto at Kira and Hitsugaya. He had told her to turn to only him when she was worried. He had always asked her to stay late if he was still working. There was very few moments of her waking life in Seireitei that had not been filled with his presence.

And now there was no chance of regaining that. But her shaking fingers told her that she wasn't sure she did want it, that she did want to return to that. Hadn't she left Hitsugaya to be stronger? Because she wanted a chance to protect him too. Even if he was a captain, he'd always be the first true friend she had.

Things started to make sense then.

Hitsugaya had always been there for her, even when she'd turned to Aizen for advice. Her academy days had been filled with loving friends, her squad days too. Her days as a vice captain had left her with adoring subordinates. And more so than that, she'd always had Abarai and Kira there to turn to on advice about vice captain duties, or just to take a break and complain about paperwork with. Even Hisagai had been there for her, ever since that day. Although he got on better with the boys, she'd always been able to count on her respected senpai's advice, both before and after graduating from the academy. She'd never shunned them willingly, but had so often backed out of moments together because of something Aizen had asked her to do.

She had distanced herself from everyone she cared about at his request without even realizing it. Aizen had systematically removed everyone from her life until he was all she had to depend on.

She screamed again, in anger, in frustration, in pain, shaking fingers ripping the flower to shreds as the last remnants of her love and adoration for Aizen filled her senses.

No more. If this is what it was like, she didn't want another flower to grow in this place. Hinamori sobbed, quieter this time, bringing her arms around herself as there was no one else to comfort her in this place. Her heart was empty because Aizen had seen to it that he was the only one in it.

No more.

If this place was to be as it had been, then it wouldn't be like this. It would be under her own terms. It would be how she wanted.

Again.

She stood, fists clenched, voice level, fire burning. "I can't find you yet. I'm sorry, Tobiume. We need to start over. I'm ready this time."

Very well, little one.

Bright red light, two simple words, and two hearts joined as one. Hinamori pressed on as the flames grew.

She was burning up again. "As I told the other two, she is struggling internally. We can't wake her up, or it will do lasting damage." Unohana watched the impatient shinigami with an amused expression. He looked ready to throw her patient against the wall in an effort to snap her out of it, while at the same time so obviously holding himself back.

"But she's going to be fine, right? She's going to wake up? This isn't going to be the last chance I get to see her, is it?"

"I know Hinamori-fukutaichou has been through a lot recently. But she was able to wake up from the coma Aizen put her under. I'm sure she can make it through this too." He really looked ready to throw something, his eleventh division traits coming to the forefront as he paced the small room out of a sheer lack of anything else to do to keep him distracted and moving.

"Good... Good. She'll wake up. She has to. I know she will. Right? Hinamori's never let me down before."

She quirked a smile. It was well known Hinamori was one of the more liked shinigami, but even knowing their history Unohana would never had expected this sort of reaction from him. "I knew you were at the academy, in the same class, but I didn't know you were close, Abarai-fukutaichou."

"Ah... We're not really, I guess. But we got on well, and she was always really patient about helping me learn kidou." He laughed nervously, finally pausing in his movements as he glanced over at the dark haired girl. "Listen, she gets better or worse, I want to know."

"Of course. You will be one of the first alerted." She smiled warmly as Abarai gave her a dismissive wave, heading back to the sixth division with an irritated scowl in place. "Hinamori-kun? Your friends are getting worried. Don't leave them for much longer."

Hey! How long is she gonna mope about for, eh?

She isn't moping, Zabimaru.

Sure seems like it to me! Why doesn't she just wake up, hm?

She isn't ready to yet.

You've got half this place awash in speculation, Tobiume. What are you doing to her?

What she requested. A chance to become herself.

Oh, is that so? She requested it?

Do you doubt us too?

I hear you got ice boy's panties in a bunch, is all. Isn't like you. You're normally a lot less aggressive, you know?

I wouldn't call this aggressive. But Hyorinmaru does not share my views on this.

Does he ever? Forget about ice boy and that idiot dragon though. She's gonna wake up, right?

Yes. She will not be the same, though.

Things like this change you. There's nothing that can be done. She was utterly betrayed.

You have no objections then?

Hey, I didn't say you were doing the right thing! But... When she wakes, we will be there.

I'll ask no more than that.

A/N: Zabimaru and Tobiume. Annnnd, Zabimaru is probably the most ooc zanpakuto ever, but there you go.

Before anyone yells at me, I don't support Abarai/Hinamori. But they do have a past together, and that's something a lot of people tend to gloss over, favouring Abarai's relationship with Rukia and all that. So this is my little stand against people who forget that Hinamori's academy days were spent with Kira and Abarai. That, and because I've always seen Abarai as a protective big brother to Hinamori. :3