Chapter 14: Clarity
a/n: Welcome to Chapter 14 ... "Clarity"
The whole act was rather repetative and not how I would of liked to of spent my day.
Reading, signing, marking whatever paperwork mum threw at me.
Not very professional of her but she said there was just too much of it to complete on her own.
So I read, signed and marked random bits of paper all morning and all afternoon.
I didn't know whether mum really needed help or just wanted to punish me.
I chose the later.
A feeling of injustice bubbled inside of me because I hadn't done anything wrong!
That I could recall anyway
"Thats it!" Mum shrieked making papers scatter of the table
"Uh I can go now?" I asked with caution
"NO, hand me the commsphere"
"Umm okay..." I replied before scuttling off to find it
"Hurry Neeka"
I wisely chose to ignore her before finding the commpshere in a basket of unwashed clothes.
I look at mum curiously
"I'm calling your father" she snapped
It begun to dawn on me then that mum really was trying to get rid of me
A thousand thoughts flashed through my mind
Where would she send me?
D'Jose?
Cid?
Brother and Fshea?
Besaid Island?
Hot sickly guilt churned in my stomach as it mixed with a feeling of excitement.
As much as the desert was beginning to bore me I shouldn't actually want to get sent away even if mum wants me gone ... right?
"Neeka pass me the commspehere!"
I blinked and realised the commsphere was still sitting in my hand like a dead paperweight.
I passed it to mother robotically and she begun to wave me out of the room like a was a naughty puppy.
Of course the art eavesdropping had hugely incorporated itself into my life so I felt I had no other choice but to use it in this situation
Having morals right now was not an option so I watched the conversation through a crack in the closed kitchen door
"Gippal"
"Yes Rikku" Dad replied weakly
"Your coming over for dinner, it's at eight as usual, be there or don't" said mum in a hard voice
"What, why?" Dad spluttered, but one look at mums face crackling through the commsphere told him not to question her crazy actions.
"I'll be there at eight" he nodded
Mum didn't even bother with a goodbye, she hung up and quickly opened the kitchen door not giving me a chance to escape
"What?" asked mum with an eyebrow raised, she looked coldly amused as I stared at her with confusion.
"Ah n-nothing"
"Good, lets get back to this paperwork then shall we?"
Exactly three hours had passed and the clock was slowly drawing towards eight o'clock
My tongue was so swollen and dry from licking envelopes I could barely speak.
I sat at the table in anticipation as mum rapped her fingernails on the rough surface
Then came the soft knocking at the door that took my breath away.
Was mum really going to kick me out and make me live with dad.
It sure seemed that way.
Mum quickly opened that door and ushered dad inside the house as he apologised for Khans absence.
"It's fine, I just needed to talk to you anyway" I heard her say
"Oh okay ... well he's doing well at the faction"
"I know, I talked to him last night"
"Thats nice ..." Dad replied, obviously still very confused as to why he was here.
"Dinner is ready"
"Oh okay ... at the table" he asked
"Same as ever"
As dad walked into the kitchen and observed it I heard him mutter "Same as ever indeed"
Dinner was so ... well weird was the only real way to describe it.
To have mum, dad and I all sitting at the same table for the first time in just under a year was amazing.
It was odd how Khan was the missing one now.
It seemed we would never really be complete again.
Dinner was also as awkward as it was weird
There was an uncomfortable heavy silence as dad ate slowly, throwing mum confused glances when he hoped she wasn't looking.
Catching her eye was not a good idea because in this situation eyecatching comes with conversation
Mum look somewhat calm and collected but she kept violently stabbing at her food.
If I were dad I would be fearing for my life.
Dad let out a fusterated sigh
"I am sorry Gippal are you disatisfied in anyway?" Mum asked with a poisonous sweetness in her voice
"YES!"
"As per usual"
"Will you just say whatever you want to say to me?"
"And what do you think that might be Gippal?"
"FINE, lets just get all of this out of the way, lets just talk and whinge and yell about EVERYTHING we NEVER did before. LETS JUST CLEAR EVERYTHING" Dad shouted with such energetic enthusiasm I rarely heard.
Mum stared blankly at him. "Is there something wrong with you" she spat
"what? no, I'm serious"
"Seriously serious"
"Yes seriously serious"
"FINE, I'm a little bit pissed you because you had a nice long affair with you personal assistant"
"Well maybe if you hadn't ignored me for all those years it wouldn't of happened!"
"Oh my god, IS THAT A REAL EXCUSE"
"Yes, I didn't say it was a good one!"
"You had an affair, HOW could you have an affair when you have two children?"
"Yes I am aware I had one ... and Khan and Neeka weren't meant to find out where they!"
"You expected me not to tell them"
"You could of been more subtle about it"
"I'm sorry Neeka, I should of said "you daddy has been fornicating with his personal secretary" ... is that better Gippal?"
"Ugh, fine I was wrong ... but you didn't need to stay back at work that often!"
"Are you accusing me of having an affair now?"
"No, I was merely pointing out your not "Spiran mother of the year" either"
"Khan and Neeka are fine" Mum snapped
"I didn't say there was anything wrong with them but you seem to think ALL of this is my fault"
"Well the majority of it is Gippal"
"See majority" Dad sniped
Mum pursed her lips and took a sip of water.
"Fine, maybe I could of been home more often, and maybe there was more I could of done ... BUT YOU STILL HAD AN AFFAIR"
"Aera and I didn't just happen out of no-where did it!"
"Of course Gippal, I always treated you so poorly" mum replied sarcastically
"Well you didn't have to critisise every single choice I made, I wasn't always wrong you know!"
Mum remained silent
"I practically begged you to agree to leave the desert, if you had just listened to me that one time" Dad continued, he was no longer yelling but speaking quietly.
Tears begun to well up in mums swirley green eyes "I needed to keep working" replied softly
"I was willing to give up my work, you knew that ... I wanted to leave the dessert and sort things out but you wouldn't even hear of leaving this place"
"Well i-ii just didn't k-know it was that bbb-ad" She begun to sob
"What I did doesn't have an excuse, but I did try" Dad shrugged staring at the table.
I myself felt like crying as I imagined what my life would of been like if mum had just listened to dad that one time and left Sanubia Desert ... but she hadn't.
We were still here and our family was broken.
"I should leave" suggested dad sadly
"It's late, you can sleep on the couch if you really want to"
Dad looked somewhat surprised but turned down her offer anyway
"No it's okay, but thanks anyway"
"Okay" Mum shrugged and led him to the door
As dad stepped outside he spoke rather awkwardly
"I bet your more angry then you've ever been with me ... your never going to speak to me again right?"
"Actually Gippal, i've never been as happy with you as I am now in seven years"
Dad stared unblinkingly at her, probably trying to filter such a statement
"Goodnight Gippal" she said with a natural smile
And then she shut the door
That night somewhere, somehow ... from dad of all people I found my own courage.
Courage I didn't even know existed.
If dad could confront mum about well that ... then I could confont her as well.
If she was going to clear things we him then she could clear them with me as well.
So I walked into her bedroom where she sat on her huge bed with her legs crossed, she was brushing her long blonde hair.
"Mother"
"Mother? since when have I been mother ... daughter"
"Fine ... are you trying to get rid of me mum"
"Don't be stupid Neeks, where did all this come from" she snapped
I was truly at a loss for words ... did she not even see how she had been treating me?
"It doesn't seem like you want me around"
"What?" Mum questioned, blinking slowly
"You don't like talk to me anymore!"
"I'm talking to you right now am I not?"
"I don't mean like that, l mean remember how I used to go on and on about Jame and you used to care but now you don't want to listen anymore"
Mums face softened considerably
"Hun, it's not that I wouldn't listen ... i've just had other things on my mind"
"That you wont share with me anymore!"
"Trust me these aren't things you wanted to hear"
"It doesnt matter, you should of told me anyway!" I shouted
"And risk upsetting you even more?'
"Well I was upset anyway mum and do you want me to leave or not, just tell me now, I can handle it"
"Neeka for spira's sake, your not going anywhere"
"Then why were you ignoring me!" I whined
Mum took a deep intake of breath and sighed "well after that interview with that ... fruna was on I become very angry, and even though I finally got all my questions answered in digustingly explicit detail I was still more confused then ever ... and trust me Neeks, my thoughts were not something you should hear"
"Your meant to tell me everything"
"This was something I really needed to talk to your father about, not you" she shrugged
"So your not trying to get rid of me ... and I was just paranoid and took everything the wrong way?" I asked, trying to reconfirm that my mum didn't want me gone.
"Sit down" Mum beckoned, patting down a spot on her bed for me. I sat down gratefully and looked around the room thinking how long it had been since I had last been here.
"Now why in Spira did you think I wanted you gone ... I was just angry with myself, your father and the fruna ... you must of realised that right?"
"No" I mumbled
Mum sighed sadly and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry" she whispered through my hair and I begun to cry softly.
We stayed like that for hours.
A/n: Well I have been extemely busy because of end of term so I have had all these assignments sprung on me and my damn internet provider accused me of not paying the bill and cut of my precious net supply resulting in two weeks of tedious fighting over it. They connected it back finally (they must of realised $25 just wasn't worth me harrasing them) AND I AM BACK! YAY!.
This was a shorter chapter then usual by maybe about 500 words, I could of made it longer but I wanted to save it for the next chapter, I wanted this one to be about "Clarity". I promise following chapters will get a little more climatic since we are nearing the end of the story and I have a lot of "nice" little things planned for them. Please bear with me.
Review Replies:
Randomcat23: Thanks for complimenting the chapter, I am glad your enjoying the "feelings" chapters, I read some feedback saying they were kind of boring but they are necessary none the less. Lol, the twists and turns are really only just about to begin ... heheheh
Jezzi: Cid was a surprizing choice as a confindent but somehow it just fit in my mind, I am thankful you understood both sides, I couldn't really pick who I was angry at because they both had their points. Thanks for reviewing!
FairyIce: I can only try and imagine how awful it would all be. It would tear me to bits if I saw my ex doing what Jame was ... I really do want to give her a break but then the story would get boring, lol
oOoDancingQueenoOo: hey thanks for reviewing, lol, I knew there would be Jame anger
Moogle Girl X2: yay you got a username, i'll have a read at your stories very soon.
FlyHigh4Life: hehe, gotta love voodoo, hopefully everythings okay with your mum, thanks for reviewing
Green-eyed-blond/ Emmy Miester: hehe, condenced version is fine, i'm sorry you found the feeling chapters boring, I hope you found this chapter an improvement. Jame isn't exactly hooked up ... I just thought I'd throw Asha in to piss Neeka off
MoMo-ChAn1: eek, i've been looking all over for the spelling errors but I cant find them, where are they, god I am hopeless, lol, whats Katamari Damacy?
PSPhreak: yeah last chapter was a little slow because I am still sort of setting everyone up for the "climax" of the story and I am pretty inexperienced with writing so I have been having a bit of trouble, anyway thanks for the review, they are valued as always.
madmaz: I know I reached the big 105 ... whoooooohooooo, and now I am on the big "120" lol, I am so happy. Hehe Time Behind is going to be a bit of a tear jerker but I haven't seen a story like it around so I am eager to start posting soon. I'm glad you liked it, I was scared I bored a lot of people with me "feeling drabble" so it's a relief to hear you liked it.
kingleby: First I want to say thanks for reviewing each chapter for me, I loved reading your reactions chapter by chapter and when I saw 13 reviews in my inbox you absolutely made my week!. i hope you stick by and read future chapters.
Krystall Trensk: The situations are hard, torturous even but it is all making Neeka into a very strong person and she is beginning to and yeah Rikku is being completely ignorant of her daughters feelings. Neeka should most definitely say sorry, atleast she realises that she was wrong but it's a very hard thing to apologise sometimes.