Chapter 15: Please Listen
I hate these nights the most
The nights where you just lie there staring unblinkingly at the clock and the ticks begin to fade as thoughts constantly shoot through your mind.
Your bodies crying for sleep but neither mind, nor your eyes will shut.
Tonight was one of those nights
I suppose it was because of Jame, actually he had just contaminated my every thought, my entire mind.
Eventually I drifted into my uneasy light sleep with the vivid image of his dancing swirled green eyes in my mind. It fades as my thoughts do but then they always return for my dreams. I loved and despised it.
Now that I knew he was moving on it really hit me just how much I missed him.
He seemed so out of reach.
I woke and sunshine spilled through my bedroom window illuminating my room in a golden haze but I was in no mood to admire it or appreciate the simple beauty of it.
I was already depressed and the day had barely started
As I pondered why everything seemed so bland and cold lately it became increasingly clear I had to talk to Jame again, he was my greatest comfort and comfort was what I needed most right now.
All my life I had appreciated the beauty of everything, the shine and sparkle of running water, the texture and warmth of the desert sand, the creamy glow of the moon and even the pointy thorns on the cacti but lately I noticed nothing. I just sat in front of the SphereVision in a depressed sulk.
Mum told me to stop being so melodramatic and that there are "other grains of sand in the desert" but right now those words offered no comfort because there was only one grain of sand I wanted right now and that was Jame.
I walked into kitchen, where mum was talking rapidly on the CommSphere. Her face was contorted and angry as she rapped her fingers on the circular table.
"No that is no true!" She hissed, her eyes morphing into little green slits. "Well you're the stupid one who messed it up in the first place … NO … I gave you those co-ordinates and you had clear orders to look after them"
Mum looked so annoyed I wouldn't be surprised if she hurled the CommSphere out the open window.
"If those Bandai's have gotten their hands on those files I'll have you arrested … goodbye Mishaai"
Without another word she slammed down the CommSphere and looked up at me and blinked.
"Good morning Neeka"
"Morning mum … did you just threaten to have Mishaai arrested?" I asked her with amazement while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
"I suspect he has been passing information about some work related … things to that underground Yevon obsessed terror group.
"The Bandai's" I questioned slowly "but we haven't heard any news about them for over a year"
Mum shrugged "they've been somewhat dormant but there have been rumors circulating they have been trying to get there hands on some of this ancient Machina out in Bikanel … god knows why, it's useless stuff anyway"
"Okay … so what's happening with you and the aspiring Bandai?" I asked quickly watching my mothers face carefully.
"Well Mishaai has been given the flick … he was always kind of a waste of time … good for a bit of confidence though" She shrugged, although her eyes flickered with a hint of sadness.
"Sorry" I told her not really sorry at all. I didn't really care if Mishaai was arrested for aiding terrorists or not. I was just happy to have the useless idiot out of my life.
"Did you need something?" Mum asked
"CommSphere" I told her bluntly with the numb intention of calling Jame. What I was planning on saying I really had no idea, to be honest I didn't really care just as long as he spoke to me.
"Sorry hun, I need to call Baralai and a few other officials … they'll be interested in this" She added with a note of satisfaction in her voice.
"How long will you be?" I whined.
"As long as it takes Neeka" she replied sternly and begun connecting a call to the prestigious city Bevelle.
"Still trying to save the world twenty years later" I joked with a small laugh, trying to kill the disappointment of having to wait god knows long to get to the CommSphere.
Mum rolled her eyes "I'd hardly call this heroism" she replied, her mouth curving into a slight smile.
"Close enough" I shot back sticking out my tongue
"Go outside and enjoy the sunshine while I make these calls Neeks"
Slightly cheered up by the best conversation I'd had with mum in months I walked out the fly wire door and sat myself down on the warm sand. I could hear mums voice drifting out the window and I listened with bored interest.
"Rammu Karfka … I was told Gippal left a message for me" Mum asked the D'Jose receptionist
"Good morning Mrs. I mean Ms. Rikku … let me check … ah yes he did leave one" Karfka stuttered nervously
After a moments pause I heard by mum speak again " … well can I have the message?" She pressed with minimal patience.
"He has scheduled a private meeting regarding the shipment of screwdrivers to the D'Jose Headquarters tomorrow eight o'clock PM" Karfka responded quickly
"Thank you Karfka, could you also please connect me to Gippal's office … please?" she asked
"Sure Mrs. … Ms. Rikku" he spluttered.
A few moments later I heard dad greet mum happily "did Karfka tell you about the meeting tomorrow?" he questioned.
"Yeah … why are we having a meeting about screwdrivers … it's seems kind of trivial" questioned mum skeptically.
"No no, it's a very important issue, there has been a severe shortage lately" Dad replied unconvincingly
"Ah okay then … well I'll see you at eight tomorrow then"
"Abso-posi-you better believe it" he replied with enthusiasm
"Bye Gippal" she told him with a hint of laughter
When she disconnected the call I distinctly heard her mutter "what an odd man"
Several hours later mum had made all her Sphere calls as I sat patiently outside drawing my name in the sand.
"Neeka" Mum called from inside the house.
"Yeah?"
"CommSphere is yours hun" she told me passing the blue orb through the door.
"Thanks mum"
I had waited for this for hours yet now that the time had come my hands shook and my fingers tingled nervously.
I would rather not have Jame seeing my face when I called him so I turned of the "Screen" feature.
I knew I was beginning to lose my nerve so I had to do it now while I still had an inkling of courage left in me. So I connected the call to the dusty blue … how I remembered it so vividly.
It has been so long so I'd been there. It took a few moments but the inevitable happened and Jame answered the call.
"Hello?" Jame asked casually to the imageless screen.
The words were simple yet they hit me straight in the heart … it had been months.
All my fears and insecurities inconveniently caught up with me and rendered me unable to speak.
"Hello!" He questioned again
Jame was clearly getting annoyed now. I could tell by his heavy sigh and I knew I needed to say something now or lose the chance.
"Please just listen" I blurted out.
It was too late because the CommSphere glowed a menacing blood red … Jame had already hung up.
Numb with disappointment I dropped the blue orb into my lap and stared at the sand.
Why had I left it for so long?
"Because you're an idiot" the voice inside my head replied bitterly
Why couldn't I of spoken sooner?
"Because you're a coward"
Would it of made a difference?
"Probably not, I wouldn't want to talk to me if I were him" I whispered to myself
Then the tears came … fat salty wet tears that dribbled down my face and into my lap.
Sometimes I hated me
Mum and I sat eating dinner that night. It all seemed so quiet and wrong that Khan and dad were no longer here eating with us but I accepted that it was all very real. They lived at D'Jose now, not Sanubia.
I had no real appetite and mum was watched me carefully trying to stuff spicy bread down my throat.
"Not hungry" I mumbled sadly. The unfortunate Jame Sphere call was still heavy in my mind.
"Eat Neeka … we're seeing your father tomorrow and if you look too thin he'll try and snatch you away from me" Mum joked.
I wish I could be snatched away from this place I thought guiltily
"May I be excused?" I asked abruptly
Mum nodded her head in agreement to signify she didn't mind
"Oh by the way, we are going to D'Jose tomorrow to see your dad because I have a meeting with him about … screwdrivers" She informed me with a peculiar look on her face.
So he was dad instead of father againI decide to conveniently leave out the information I had been eavesdropping on her calls and knew about it anyway.
I walked into the lounge room and switched on the SphereVision. The news was on and urgent feeds were coming through because Guadosalam and been attacked by rebel forces that were rumored to be from the Calm Lands. I felt uneasy about this because lately there had been a lot of disturbances happening around Spira and there was even whispers of war as the tension increased.
I didn't need to hear this right now, I had so many more problems of my own. I switched the channel and the latest episode of "The happiest family in Spira" was playing to my disgust. I flicked it over to channel SphereBloid and watched a story about how Cid had apparently been romancing Bevellian women … it was all lies of course. Cid had always complained Bevellian women were uptight and boring.
The CommSphere begun flashing and I reluctantly tore my eyes away from the SphereVision screen where a disgruntled looking picture of my grandfather was splashed across it. I answered the call and the happy face of my father appeared on screen.
"Hello Princess … I see Cid has been romancing old yevonite women at his stay Bevelle" Dad told me with amusement.
"It can be true" I heard my mum yell from the kitchen with mock desperation. Apparently I wasn't the only one who still eavesdropped. I smiled as I recognized this as the first time they had joked in well … I couldn't even remember.
Dad laughed "Anyway I have to talk to you about something very important"
My ears perked up with curiosity "what is it?" I asked
"It's about your brother"
"oh" I said grumpily
"I wish you would talk to him, he's quite torn up over it"
"He'll live" I replied swiftly
"Please" dad wheedled
"no, no, no, no NO, I don't want to speak to him right now" I snapped.
Dad rolled his eyes "this is so tedious, just get over it Neeks"
I huffed angrily "I have to go"
Dad smiled unfazed "Until tomorrow, goodbye sweetie" and he nodded his head like a gentleman and disconnected the call.
The next day was rather eventful. I lay like a sloth in front of the SphereVision eating ice-cream and watching some adolescent drama about a group of teenagers in Luca. It begun to dawn on me that I was becoming incredibly lazy. I felt heavier around the stomach and I rarely got outside anymore but the truth was I really had nothing to do in Sanubia, I mean I could go for a walk but the only walkable tracks would lead me straight pass Jame's. That was not an option.
My stomach tingled with excitement as I thought about seeing dad today, it had been quite awhile since I had last seen him. Our relationship was hard to explain, I was confused as to whether I had forgiven him for what he had done to our family. Now it was more a disappointment then anger … yet I loved him too much to show any of it. He was at least trying to redeem himself and I decided that was enough for me.
Right now I was currently in the hover with my mum as she drove like a maniac to get to D'Jose on time. Her diamond earrings twinkled in the nightlight as she honked with frustration at a slow Hypello.
"Bloody Hypellos" She muttered
"We aren't going to be late mum" I assured her.
Being late was the last thing on my mind, personally I was more worried about the possibility of Khan lurking around.
A hour later we pulled up at the front of D'Jose. Mum looked at the building nervously and gave a few friendly waves to some employees she knew. Most looked surprised to see her.
"This is so awkward" She groaned
I gave mum a sympathetic pat on the back as we entered the large Temple, her eyes scanned the area carefully before spotting Karfka who was wondering around absentmindedly with a clipboard.
"Rammu Karfka" Mum greeted him, tapping him on the back.
He spun around and looked quite frightened "He … hello Mrs. Rikku – lady – lady Rikku" he greeted before giving her a low shaky bow.
"Which room is the meeting in?" She asked him
"Room C1" he answered, looking at his clipboard.
"Thank you Karfka, have yourself a nice evening" and with a swift smile she led me to a descending staircase.
"Your father added an underground to D'Jose temple when the Yevonites finally gave him full permission to do whatever he wanted with the place" she told me
"The Yevonites let him do that?" I asked with amazement
"Well Baralai made them … and after all that Vegnagun business they were in your fathers debt"
"What happened with Vegnagun?"
"I'll tell you some other time … ah here we are" she said quickly and came to a halt in front of a door which c1 was written in old Al Bhed tongue"
"I always get satisfaction in seeing Al Bhed culture in these Temples" She smirked and opened the door. I went to follow her but she told me to wait outside.
Feeling a bit put out I sat slumped against the door trying to listen to the meeting. Unfortunately it was all soundproofed so that just wasn't happening.
I sat out their for maybe an hour before I started to get a bit antsy … how long could they possibly be talking about screwdrivers for, I know they were both Machina freaks but still …
I was picking at my nails when it happened. My brother in his dirty grease stained overalls with a tool belt swinging from his waist came walking down my way. He unfortunately had several friends with him who were chatting enthusiastically.
Khans eyes widened as he noticed me sitting in front of the door. I glared at him while his friends looked me up and down. When Khan realized I wasn't going to say anything to him he looked down at the ground and continued walking. He was hurt … I could tell, but right now I didn't really care.
About twenty minutes later mum finally emerged from the meeting room blushing. I looked at her trying to get an explanation but I didn't get one because dad came up behind me and gave me a huge hug.
"Wow look how long your hairs getting … and these braids of yours look rather familiar" He added with a smile, flipping my braids playfully.
I stayed and chatted to him about random things for ten minutes while mum went to get a glass of water. When she came back she was still blushing and announced it was time to go.
Dad hugged and kissed me goodbye, and then awkwardly shook hands with an equally uncomfortable mum.
That night I left D'Jose in high spirits and as I sat in the hover cruising along the Moonflow with mum who was wearing a most secretive smile on my face. I decided there was hope for my parents and if there was hope for them there was most definitely hope for Jame and I.
AN: well there we go, another chapter. For the last few chapters I've noticed my heart has really been in them as much as it was this chapter due to some personal things happening in my life. Anyway I hope you have found this chapter to be an improvement to my previous ones. I hope the Rikku/Gippal goodness wasn't too much but I have to start evolving the plot more instead of keeping it just where it is …personally I am lovin' it
Review Replies:
Kingleby: thanks for reviewing! The dinner scene was my favorite scene. I thought it was nice and random of me, especially since I have been feeling horribly unoriginal lately.
Krystall Trensk: I wrote a nice long reply to you review before only to realize I had just given away the entire plot to my story within it so unfortunately I cant answer too much on your last comment, but thanks very much for the review … ahh heck, this isn't the last you'll hear of Jame and Neeka! (grrr couldn't help it)
Madmaz: That's a very good idea you have there, and to be honest it didn't even occur to me before to write about Gippals state of mind, lol, you give me too much credit for this story but I love it anyway! Thanks for another lovely review, I always find myself checking my Inbox with anticipation.
randomcat23: You most certainly do see forgiveness between Rikku and Gippal, which I probably emphasized too much during this chapter, I was just trying to kill the hostility that had been dragging for fifteen chapters. I was finding it tedious, hehe
FlyHigh4Life: It feels most great to be back. Unfortunately I am too dependant on the net, a week without it and I was having withdrawals, lol.
Moogle Girl X2: lol, "Huggo" is a crack up, I just checked it out on the translator then and you just gave me a little idea for my story, lol, thanks for the review! It made me laugh.
FairyIce: Things are starting to look up … regarding her parents anyway. I loved the dinner scene. Head on confrontation was the best way to handle things in my opinion.
MoMo-ChAn1: I have updated to using Microsoft Word instead of Notepad, how modern am I? (joke) anyway I now have spell check so that should be the end of spelling errors … cant say the same for grammar though.