Disclaimer; I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.
The trees were fooling her. She was sure of it. The gentle petals raining down on her, serving as a distraction as she continued to focus. Her reiatsu had grown slightly, enough that even without incantations her kidou was impressive. She had even been able to manipulate some of the spells, bending them to her will as she saw fit.
But something continued to plague her mind.
It is not your fault.
"I don't know if this is enough."
Your best will always be enough, Momo. I can ask nothing more of you than that.
"Even if I become stronger, it might be impossible. I might falter."
Falter? Stumble, fall, Momo. It will not matter. You will have tried. Does that not matter to you?
She screamed, again, again in frustration, again in pain. "I can't put him behind me!"
So do not seek to. Instead, open your heart to the rest.
She growled, angry, irritated, exhausted. "You ask too much, too soon." Hinamori's resolve was wavering, her heart unable to push on with steadfast determination. How, why? Tobiume seemed so sure, so knowing. Patient, even, in some small way. But she couldn't just place everything behind her and move. When, if she woke, it would be like last time. With a scream, a penetrating noise ringing and echoing in the dark shadows of an empty room in the back of the fourth division. With panting sobs and hot tears.
With his mark on her.
You think you are alone?
She turned, eyes wide. What, when?
You think you were the only one deceived, hurt, betrayed, left?
No. No, Hinamori was smarter than that. She knew that even she was hurting people with her own shortcomings, her inability to overcome her demons and grasp onto Tobiume's words, by not waking and not being able to smile for her friends. Were they waiting for her?
Do you expect them to just sit there in the dark for you?
Did she want them waiting for her?
Do you want their lives to stop until you can rejoin them?
Did she want them to leave her?
She didn't know. Her head was spinning, unable to handle the sudden influx of conflicting thoughts and emotions. She knew, by now she was well aware that she was captain less, alone, without guidance.
But Tobiume was here. Tobiume alone remained, finding some part of her heart that Hinamori herself still had yet to discover, finding some way to bury herself so deeply into Hinamori's existence that Hinamori was sure that without the zanpakuto her life would simply cease to be. No matter how empty the dark, how long the road, how far away the blade lay, Tobiume would remain at her side. She wasn't alone. She wasn't the only one hurt. Hitsugaya had almost died because of her, others had been hurt throughout the entire ordeal. She'd seen the reports. Hisagai and Kira were captain less too. She was sure that in their own way, everyone was waiting for her. Patiently or not, in Abarai's case, but waiting none the less, for her. And she wanted that, wanted them to be there when she woke. Even if the room was empty, just knowing that they would come when they could, it was good enough. She didn't want them to stop their lives, not over her.
But she didn't want them to leave her, either. She wanted, needed them. Her friends. Hers, by all right and definition. Like she and Tobiume belonged to each other.
Would you miss me, she'd once asked. Her response had been wind chimes, light, airy. Fast.
I miss all, Hinamori. A zanpakuto has no control over those who fall, those who can stand again. It is not our place.
"Then what can you do?"
I can lend you strength when your own fails you. I can be company when there is no other. I can offer you advice, warnings, guard you while you sleep. I can be your friend, until the day we are parted.
"Will we have to part, Tobiume?"
Yes. The first hint of fire burned its way into Tobiumes voice. Everything has its time, Hinamori. Our partnership will end, just as all those before you.
She was still so young, so naive. Had only just started to understand her zanpakuto. And she had said, with a grin, "Then call me Momo. Before we part, lets do all we can. Help me protect those I care about."
Wind chimes, fire, summer breeze. Comforting. Of course, little one. Those you care about will strengthen you, and in turn me. We will do what we can until we can do no more.
"Thank you very much." She bowed, so stiff, so formal, eliciting more laughter from the zanpakuto in front of her.
Do not thank me, Momo. Not ever. I am only as strong as you let me be. Now, hadn't you better resume?
She smiled, liking the way the zanpakuto had said her name. Slender, slightly reddened fingers slipped around the hilt, swinging the blade and cutting air. And she had continued with her kidou practice.
She wasn't sure she was doing it right anymore. While she had managed to train her shikai to emit blasts ten, twenty times more powerful than before, untraceable on top of that, her normal kidou seemed to suffer. Was it just this place? Hinamori doubted that, trying harder, pushing herself to the limits. She had lost all track of time, knew it had been several days since she had woken here again but beyond that it was all lost on her, nothing mattering but this moment in time, this place, her determination burning and her desire to completely understand the kidou hadou spell she was trying to perfect.
"Hadou 63: Raikouhou!"
Perfect. Strong. Flawless. A high level spell cast as it should, ending how it should. Each movement, from holding her hands in the right position to summoning the energy had been carefully planned and set in motion. But it didn't feel right.
Her heart was in it. Her soul was in it. Her everything had been in it.
But it hadn't been enough.
"Oi, Kira! Wake up, lazy!" Kira fell unceremoniously to the floor with a grunt as Abarai pulled the chair out from underneath him. "Geez, hogging the only seat in this room, huh?"
"Eh? Abarai-kun, I'm sorry! I guess I dozed off."
Hisagai suppressed a laugh as he watched the two interact, arguing over just why Kira had thought it was fine if he fell asleep because after all, what if she woke up to find him snoring there? "Come on you two, no harm done. And she looks peaceful right now, doesn't see?"
There were no arguments over that. They could tell, despite the dark red burns on her arms, that she was fine. No fever, no chills. She could almost be sleeping, and really, that was what she was doing. Taking an awfully long nap. They smiled at each other, right before Abarai made a dash for the chair. Kira was knocked off balance but Abarai hit the floor. "Hey! What sort of bastard just steals a- Oh." He snickered slightly as he watched Kira back up almost instantly at the sight of cold green eyes.
"You're making a lot of noise for three respected vice captains."
The three bowed deeply, mumbling apologies for being so loud and rude in Hinamori's room, even though Hisagai snorted as Abarai made faces at him behind the short captains back.
"I assume you'll stop that now, right?"
He froze before turning his gaze to the white haori with a content smirk. "Yeah yeah, shorty. It's not like it's going to kill anyone."
The temperature dropped and Kira laughed nervously, already backing towards the door. "Ah, Abarai-kun, I don't think you should..."
A low, irritated growl. "Stay, Kira." Cold eyes turned on the blonde as Hitsugaya sat down in the stolen chair. "She likes your company."
The three glanced at each other, somewhat taken aback. It wasn't every day the tenth division's captain was willing to be in the same room with them. And the last time they'd seen him, he had been dragging his rather intoxicated vice captain away from them, muttering something about irresponsible louts who would probably be better off taking a page out of Hinamori's book and trying to talk to their zanpakutos than sitting about drinking the night away. Least of all, this was a room with Hinamori in it.
But they caught his downwards gaze, the small slip in his ice mask. He was just as worried as they were, really. Abarai smirked, leaning against the wall, folding his arms. "Guess we'll wait then."
Hisagai nodded in response, crouching down to the ground. "Is it a bad thing this is our source of entertainment?"
Another low growl, but they all saw the small smile on his face. Enough for Kira to settle against the doorway with a contented look on his face. "Until the end."
He humph-ed at that, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes forward on her sleeping form. "Or until one of you idiots falls asleep and gets kicked out by Unohana-taichou."
Hisagai and Abarai's sniggers were cut short by the arrival of the fourth division's captain, and she looked at them for a second before starting her check up on Hinamori. "Honestly you four. Just don't destroy anything."
A/N: No zanpakuto banter for you this chapter. But you get a little vice captain dorkisms instead This is also where I'm going to slow down, since past this point I haven't really planned much, so updates aren't going to be quite so fast. So vice captian silliness seems like a good place to leave it while I write the next few chapters. :3