Author's Note: First of all, I am so sorry this took so long! (it's so short! >>;) Truth is, I've been completely stuck on this, and had absolutely no idea what was going to happen in this chapter until Astaldotholwên asked me for a sort of…"preview." (haha, I bet you had no idea I threw together the scene from scratch right there!) Well, I'm going to skip some minor chapters I intended to put in here so part two would be just as long as part one, but wow, I've been writing this thing for a year cheer for the one year survivor, already, and I'm just going to do the chapters with more important events. Like usual, thank-yous are in my profile!
Heavy Rain Blues
chapter twenty – four
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Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
Rain fell.
Of course rain fell; it's been raining everyday, day and night since last week when I got back to Valencia. It was depressing, really. Everything had gone wrong. And I was the idiot who triggered it all.
Love. It's a horrible thing to stumble across. You throw yourself out there in the running, fully knowing the consequences you may happen upon. Confession. Should you, or should you not tell? Choice one, you could keep it to yourself; bury it deep within your soul, never allowing anyone else to ever comprehend it. Choice two, take a chance. March straight up to them, and shatter your world with three little poisonous words, pronouncing your love. Can you possibly guess which choice I chose?
It was stupid. I was completely caught up in the moment, the excitement, the passion of finally seeing him for the first time in months. And I full-heartedly regret it.
Stupid ideas come with stupid people.
I remember the visual when I finally saw him. Sora, in all his glory. He was towering and handsome—honey tan skin, chocolate hair kissed by the sun, and the most gorgeous, most mesmerizing eyes one could ever hope to look into. It was bliss, locking eyes straight with his, the moment just freezing altogether, so that one could commit to memory, like a photograph for the soul. But then again, as one had said many times before, ignorance is bliss.
The stained-glass moment cracked before my very eyes, and was devastated into a million pieces, crushing a chunk of my heart with it.
I was the little girl, lost and alone in the rain, walking in the pitch black dark, hands outstretched forward, feeling around for someone to lead me back into the light. It was then that I found Brent.
I was happy. I found that I had regained the will to smile again, the sense of freedom and livelihood rekindled inside of me, and I felt as if I could go on forever like this with Brent beside me. Unfortunately, those feelings only lasted for that one night. It started on Monday, when I went back to school.
Brent would take put my hand into his, and intertwine our fingers, and I couldn't help but feel a shiver go up my spine. An uncomfortable, unwanted shiver. Conversations between us became awkward—well, to me at least. Maybe it's just me being paranoid.
So here I am now.
Somewhat sulking in my room, an ankle-length absolutely beautiful black dress that was far too thin for a rainy night like this, wrapped around my skinny figure; radio turned on. I gathered my crossed legs into my arms, hugging them, rocking back and forth, my face buried into them. It was a dark and gloomy atmosphere.
From the first day, that I saw your smiling face
Honey I knew that we would be together forever
Ooh, when I asked you out, you said no but I found out
Darlin that you'd been hurt
You felt that you'd never love again
Groan. Why did I even bother listening to this kind of stuff…
I deserve a try honey just once
Give me a chance and I'll prove this all wrong
You walked in you were so quick to judge
But honey he's nothing like me
Ill never break your heart
I'll never make you cry
I'd rather die
Than live without you
I'll give you all of me honey that's no lie
I'll never break your heart
I'll never make you cry
I'd rather die
Than live without you
I'll give you all of me honey that' s no l—
I flicked the 'off' button without a second thought, and retreated back into my previous position. Just rocking back and forth. Swimming in the misery of my mind. Yup.
The silence was driving me crazy.
"Kairi! Brent's here!"
Oh, I did mention tonight was going to be our first date, didn't I?
Before going downstairs, I glanced at myself in the mirror. My auburn hair had far exceeded my waist, and clung to my dress. "Don't cut your hair; it makes you look beautiful…" I glared at my image as the quote crept across my mind. Taking my scissors, I shred the long locks, leaving my hair back at my shoulders.
Much better.
"You look beautiful."
Blush madly.
"Um, thanks…"
Can you tell I'm extremely uncomfortable at this moment?
Much to my surprise, the rain cloud hanging over the island had lifted quite a good bit, leaving the skies just lightly sprinkling. It was a beautiful evening. The air was sweet of lilies that adorned the restaurant. It was one of those nights in which the air was so clear, so fresh, you could breathe it in, but find yourself craving more. It was one of those nights—one of those magical nights when you just know something wonderful, something that just lifts your spirits and your heart up to cloud nine is about to happen.
Yet I couldn't soak any of it in.
"Dance with me?"
"Sure…"
He led me onto the dance floor, where all the other couples swayed in each other's arms. That artificial smile reappeared on my face again, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms just loosely coiled around my waist, but I couldn't help but very noticeably shiver as he did so. "Wow, I didn't realize how chilly it was tonight!" I'd be shocked if he bought that.
It was all just so unreal. Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have imagined I'd be out with Brent, my nothing-more-than-a-friend friend, and now I still can't believe it. This, everything, it just didn't seem right. Kairi and Brent. Brent and Kairi. They just…didn't fit. I don't know…I'm not making any sense, am I?
I felt ourselves fall into a lull; the moments were slow and slurred together, all just like a dream I couldn't quite recollect. It all seemed too...fake. Yes, that's what it was. Fake. This wasn't the sweet and 'aaw'-ing moment it appeared to be. I looked into Brent's eyes, and saw Sora. Fake. That's all it was. And I had to stop this before I hurt Brent…again.
"Brent, I…" I started, my steps coming to a stop, my stare hard at the ground.
"What is it?" he asked, lifting my chin so that we stared eye-to-eye. He pulled me in closer, and I could feel myself staring in horror, though unable to move. Our bodies pressed against each other's and faces so, so close. I found myself frozen, as if my will didn't matter anymore. He was in control, and he had me mesmerized under his trance.
'No, no, no' I wailed in my head, as our lips barely met.
And then I think someone up there finally heard me.
It was a blessing in disguise. The restaurant went pitch black, undergoing a blackout, quite easily scaring the daylights out of me, therefore making me stumble backwards, and giving me the opportunity I had been begging for to break out of Brent's arms. Of course I did hit my head pretty hard on the floor... And so partially on all fours, I found my way out of the restaurant, clutching my throbbing head all the way.
Skies would be dark, and rain would pour, but I realized broken hearts never healed completely.
The light sprinkling rain had ceased, and in its place the heavy thunderstorm resumed, soaking me head to toe. It was a depressing occurrence, and what was even more depressing was the fact that it kept occurring.
My head pounded, my sight was blurry, and all I could seem to do was cry. It's funny…the whole reason I wanted to split from Sora and Riku and go my own separate way when we came to college was so I could prove I could care for myself, so I could prove I wasn't as dependant as I appeared, yet here I am now; finally all alone, and all I can manage to do is cry.
Ha.
'Cry, Kairi, cry; there's no one to catch you this time,' the world seemed to taunt, and oh, what a cruel world it was.
I stumbled along in the rain, left hand clasping my face, unable to stop the tears, the other outstretched, my eyes of no use now. I trudged through the mud barefoot, having lost my heels long ago after the many times I had fallen. I couldn't find my way out of this maze.
Wasn't anyone trying to find me?
Finally, I curled into a ball, my back against a tree trunk; completely wasted. Tears littered my pale face, wind whipped against my skin, and rain shot at me like daggers. My lips were blue, due to the freezing temperature, and my body ached all over. The dress that had worn so beautifully earlier this evening was now torn and run with mud. I was lost and alone.
"Kairi!"
The voice rang clear through the night. My head shot up, eyes straining for the source. Forcing myself to my feet, I sauntered forward a few paces, still wildly searching. My mouth felt dry, and my voice refused to come.
"Kairi!"
The voice came again, and this time I stopped him. Him. My eyes filling with tears once more, I dashed towards him, falling into his arms.
I tried to speak but I just choked on my tears. My palms forced into fists and I tried hitting him, but I was acting in vain; my strength was gone.
"You idiot!" I choked, crying hard now, "I was so alone! I-I—" I had to stop to cough; I was so worn out, and finally fell into his arms, burying my face into his drenched shirt. "I've never felt so alone," I whispered, "I was so scared, Sora, so scared…"
His relieved smile faded a little as he held her in his arms.
"You're freezing…" he mumbled as he took off his own jacket and wrapped it around me. "Come on, I'll walk you home."
It wasn't until I got home that I realized the one walking me home…
…was Brent...
--
I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I... I'm with you
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-fin chapter 24