A Puff of Smoke

chapter twenty – five

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Bringing the tip to my lips, I inhaled, and quite instantly, as the smoke filled my lungs, began choking, a wave of nausea rushing over me. Eyes watering lightly, with a shaking hand, I forced the thing back to my lips, when suddenly, quite abruptly, I might add, a second hand drew it from me.

I whisked around, looking more shocked than I would've liked. "Oh. It's you." It sounded harsher than I meant it to be.

"Yes Kairi, it's me," Brent replied, not at all his usual cheery self. We hadn't exactly been on the best terms, not since our first and probably last date just two weeks ago, if you would even call that a date. Apparently after that 'Sora – Brent' fiasco, he did a bit of digging around and found out all about our little history. I wasn't exactly thrilled with his actions. But then again, he probably wasn't exactly thrilled with mine either.

November had come and gone, and now winter crept upon Valencia. The weather had gotten considerably colder, though there was no sign of snowfall just yet. Trees were bare, except for the few browned leaves that still clung to the naked branches. UArt students no longer fashioned the light tank tops and shorts and skirts, but were bundled up in coats and scarves of many variety.

Back home, Selphie and Tidus had been struggling with putting up the pretty Christmas lights, though as I recall, they had both been caught in a tangle of wires and bulbs, and seemed in no position to decorate the rooftop. In the kitchen, on the properly seasonal adorned table was a plate of fresh, warm cinnamon cookies Selphie and I had just baked prior the day. It was the beginning of the holidays and we were gonna enjoy it.

I had managed to convince Selphie and Tidus to stay at Valencia for the holidays, though I could tell they yearned to see the others again, so Selphie ended up arranging meetings, more specifically? The Winter Carnival Professor Lanchey had been helping us arrange for months. It would be held on Christmas Eve, and would certainly draw many students to its splendor. Candice had gone back to her home island to spend her holidays with family and old familiar faces, and Brent? Well, apparently he decided to stay too.

And me? Well here I am, on the bridge overlooking the village, smoking – or was smoking my first cigarette. Hey, no one ever said life was all sugar and sweets.

"What do you want?"

"My, that wasn't cold at all."

"It was intentional."

"Do you speak like this to all your boyfriends?"

"You know very well you're my first."

All our conversations had become like this. Actually I found it quite amusing he hadn't dumped me yet. What I found more amusing was that I hadn't dumped him yet. It was now completely obvious I didn't enjoy, or appreciate, on that matter, his company. Candice, on the other hand, I hadn't had the opportunity to converse with yet, but I don't doubt squealing Brent hadn't informed her of so.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I replied, irritated, as I lit a second cigarette and brought it to my lips, which Brent retrieved like he did the first, and crushed it with his foot.

"Since when do you smoke?"

"Since now."

"I've never seen any place on this island to sell those. Where did you get that pack?"

"Some shady place in the alley behind the bookstore."

"You should really stop."

"Oh, you'd like that now, wouldn't you."

"Yes, yes I would."

Ugh. Couldn't he take a hint! Go away, now will you! I felt myself scream inside my mind, though remaining quite level-headed, and surprisingly calm on the outside. How did he even find me in the first place? Other questions rose inside me, and gathering my thoughts, I decided it was time for me to ask the questions.

"Why are you here?"

"Hm?"

"Why. Are. You. Here." I repeated, a little more impatient this time.

"Selphie told me where I'd find you." He answered calmly, "She's been worried about you. We've all been worried about you."

"Oh really now. Can't you see that I'm fine?"

"But you're not fine, Kairi!" Brent said so loudly, pounding his fist hard into the cement bridge, that it made me jump. "Can't you see what you're becoming!"

"I am not becoming anything," I replied, equal in volume, my hands shaking slightly at my sides.

"Well open your eyes! You've changed!"

"For better or for worse?" I asked simply, leaning across the bridge, toying with the strands of auburn hair that hung limply below my chin, knowing very well it was a stupid question.

"For worse." He responded, his voice now in a hush. "Don't you realize how you're acting towards us? Shunning us away, smoking (That's not all I've been doing, I thought to myself, thinking of the packs of pills hidden in my drawers) … This has to stop!"

I straightened, throwing the longer strands over my shoulder. "How I act…" I spoke slowly, "…is my own choice, and definitely none of your business."

"Oh really." It was a statement. He turned to face me, "I'm sure you'd have no problems with these requests if your darling Sora had asked you."

Oh he did not--

I turned to face him, meeting his eyes for the first time since we met today, the vacant look on my face replaced by a glare. "Go away."

"You know it's true, Kairi," He continued darkly, his expression matching my own. "You'd be so enthusiastic under his commands, hell I bet you'd rollover if he asked you t—"

I slapped him. Hard.

Slowly he turned his head back to its previous position, my handprint planted firmly against his cheek, his shock apparent.

"Go. Away." I whispered, slowly, but clearly.

Then after what felt like an hour of unbreakable eye contact, he turned and left without so much as another word, his pace even, arms hanging limply at his sides as if nothing had happened.

I felt overwhelmed, the aftershock was harsh. My whole body shook lightly as I once again leaned over the bridge, just staring downwards. It wasn't true. None of it. Sora was nothing to me, and I definitely would not rollover for him.

He had it coming to him, I thought angrily, thoughts focused on Brent once more. The events flashed before my eyes once more. He had no right to accuse me of such…such hideous things! And demanding me to stop…? Stop what exactly! Just what exactly is so wrong with me wanting some space, or smoking on that matter! I know for a fact plenty of others do too!

Glaring off into the setting sun for a few more minutes before fumbling with my pockets for a last cigarette I had with me, I felt more burdened than ever.

Lighting it, I brought it to my lips a third time, this time with no one to abruptly take it and crush it. It didn't give off the wonderful sensation that I would've thought it'd have. I thought of Brent once more.

How I screw up my life is my own damn business...

Dropping the venomous thing to the ground and taking care to crush it, I headed on home.

- chapter twenty-five fin -