Fool's Mate
chapter twenty – six
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I'll be white, you be black. ♥
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Hand to face.
Slap.
Words to ear.
Scream.
My life was just one big chess game.
And just how could this be possible? I'd never cared for chess much. Hell, I'd never cared for any board game much. It was superfluous pain, exchanging time and dedication to learn the nuts and bolts of such a thing, only to find insufficiency at the heart of the clockwork. And thus was a good ten dollars or so wasted. Hardly a bargain, if you ask me. Instruction booklets? Hah. Instruction booklets are for lunatics. Why waste good time reading the tiresome and monotone text? Despite popular belief, I've always preferred to be a bit more reckless, you know, live life on the wild side.
Ha.
As if.
So I gave up smoking. What can I say? Guess all those redundant health lectures from eighth grade finally kicked in. Not like I'd ever tell Brent; if the tobacco didn't kill me first, the smug look on that bastard's face just might. Which brings me back to the question, why, exactly, did I agree to be his girlfriend again? Well. That really doesn't matter now, does it.
We broke up.
Or better yet, he broke up with me.
Talk about a short lived relationship.
White; pawn to f3.
But hey, it doesn't matter, right?
It had all been one silly, impulsive, naïve relationship experience all humans were destined to experience during the span of their lifetime, at one point or another. And that's why the thought of having Brent as my boyfriend seemed so brilliant at the time. It was my silly, impulsive, naïve human persona – destiny! – and frankly, there was absolutely nothing I could do to oppose it.
That, of course, is a great load of bull, and ignorance is indeed bliss.
Black; pawn to e5.
The truth of the matter? I wanted Brent to be my new Sora, one perhaps more perfect than the actual (though heaven knows the idea of another boy more perfect than darling imperfect Sora is utterly ridiculous) in the sense that he would be mine, and profusely devoted to me alone. But oh, my actions were so cliché and apparent, and to such an extent that even a fervently ignorant girl such as myself could decipher the truer motives.
But enough psychology.
The salty residue of regret lingered in the back of my throat and thoroughly sickened me, and I, captivated by my own spur of the moment wanderlust and a sudden necessity to breathe, threw open the front door and found my legs walking me down the street in long irregular strides. And of course I complied. I was half dazed, half delusional, but fully alive, damn it.
White; pawn to g4.
But I still couldn't breathe. Not even the counterattack of restorative salty sea breeze against abhorrent salty regret could completely take away the sinking sensation of nausea, and a new wave of self-loathe refreshed me, along with disgust at my dependency. Because I wasn't dependent. Hell, I'd been on my own since I was seven, I'd been alone without my two best friends for two years, and I'll be damned if I start acting dependent now.
My legs lingered to a halt, and I found myself at the corner of the street; a red stoplight glared into my eyes and toyed with my senses. And I think, I think, it was in that moment that I felt a drop of impulse enter my bloodstream. Because don't you know? I can fly.
Black; queen to h4.
I'd brought it upon myself.
The fiery lights left their post and waltzed before my eyes – laughing – in a slurred dance, and my heart skipped a beat as the thrill of falling consumed me and filled my nostrils.
Why hadn't I seen it? I'd brought it upon myself.
Black; queen to h4.
And then I hit the ground with a thundering yet angelically graceful thud that vibrated throughout the islands for miles on end.
And suddenly, I could hear myself breathe long slow breaths, loudly.
I was half dazed, half delusional, and now, I was only half alive.
And suddenly, the equation didn't add up.
Fool's mate.
- fin chapter 26
Author's Note: Omgbbq, it's been, like, two years since I last updated! (The site looks so different! Almost every writer I knew is dead!) How lame is that. D: I think I was reading january blue's mirror, mirror when my muse returned to me in a flash. And I thought of my long-procrastinated fanfic, and made up my mind I'd finish it. Or the next chapter, at least.
And so, a recap for anyone who reads this silly story and cares: Kairi loves Sora. Sora loves Kairi. They're both too thickheaded to admit that to each other, and so they go their seperate ways and head off to college. And then one day, Kairi finally snaps out of it and talks to Sora, but by then, Sora's already moved on (or is trying to). And so, Kairi's all weepy and heartbroken-like. So then, Riku becomes the hero and makes Kairi go see Sora. So they talk. But they fight. And Kairi leaves again (or starts to). And then Sora gets hit my a car and goes into a coma. And then Kairi's sad, but then she sees Sora's new girlfriend kiss him and becomes sadder, and so she leaves. For real. And then she goes out with one of her friends, but then calls him Sora by accident, and it all just goes downhill from there.
And now she gets hit by a car. Or a bus. Man, Kairi's life sucks. 8D
For anyone who was confused, fool's mate is the quickest possible checkmate in chess, which takes a total of two moves. Because it only takes two moves, it's almost never put into practice, as it requires precise movements from both players, and so, that is why Kairi says she'd brought it upon herself (although much of her internal thoughts refer to both the chess game and what's going on around her). The entire "chess game" is internal – and a sort of reflection – and regards the decisions Kairi has already made, but as we see, this internal game also affects the decisions Kairi makes afterwards.
And I just realized yesterday that my ffnet three year anniversary is in three days! So I might try to write a one shot or something to celebrate the fact that, well, I've only been active for approximately one out of the three years. 8D
Oh, and I decided that length shouldn't matter, and anything I write from here on out will be relatively short. Have a nice day. ♥
- lyphe
