Chapter Four
Solar Powered Killing Sheep
Disclaimer: I own none of the Harry Potter characters or places. I don't even own the title. I do however compliment whoever came up with that idea.

Lord Voldemort was a happy camper indeed; his loyal Death Eaters had managed to secure the location of the order of the phoenixes new head quarters.

Draco had apparently stumbled upon the place whilst going for a pedicure. The fact that Draco had been going for a pedicure had not eluded The Dark Lord and his minions but in all honesty they had not been that surprised. They had however been surprised when Ron had compliment the work and claimed his pedicurist could never hope to produce such 'fabulous' results.

Voldemort had decided not to try a 'long drawn out frontal assault' (although he didn't actually know what half of the words meant) and had instead decided on stealth tactics (He didn't know what that meant either but he had seen it on TV. Why was Voldemort watching T.V.? Who knows?)

So he had ordered the HQ to be watched 24/7 to find weaknesses and what not.

"I'm bored." Whined Draco.

"Shut up Draco, this is a stealth mission." Hissed Lucius.

"I'm bored too." Ron piped in.

"Here's a pine-cone, amuse yourself"

"Ooooh pine cone!" Ron started to make spaceship noises whilst moving the pinecone around.

"I want a pine cone too daddy!"

"A Malfoy does not play with pine cones. We play with acorns"

"Can I have an acorn then daddy?"

"Do I look like I carry acorns around with me?"

"You carry pine cones around with you!"

"No I don't, a Malfoy doesn't carry pine cones around."

"Oh." Muttered Draco, now thoroughly confused.

Back at Voldemort's' Base of operations

"I want to be the top hat!" Yelled Bellatrix (who had been in Narnia, don't ask) enthusiastically.

"Race car!" grunted Crabbe

"What do you want to be Severus?" asked a familiar voice

"Dumbledore!?!!?!?!?" Gasped Snape "But your dead!"

"YEEEHAAA!" Dumbledore then threw a lemon drop at Voldemort and vanished.

Voldemort blinked as a lemon drop hit him in the head and looked up to see the (supposedly) dead leader of the light disappear in a cloud of smoke. The Dark Lord blinked again and rubbed his eyes.

"Well that was unexpected." Voldemort muttered as he massaged his temples. Suddenly "The Shins – Phantom limb" ring tone broke the shocked silence that had settled over the monopoly playing death eaters.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Screamed Voldemort, secretly terrified.

"That's a ring tone from a muggle cell phone." A voice supplied helpfully.

"Who are you?"

"YEEEEEHAAAAA!" Another lemon drop went sailing through the air and hit Voldemort between the eyes.

"Oh for the love of…. Piss off Dumbledore! You're dead!"

Silence. Voldemort perked up, the ringing had stopped. Thank Merlin, the death eaters resumed their previously forgotten game and Voldemort went back to reading 'Wheres Waldo'. Finally, peace at last.

The ringing started again.

"AHHHHHHHH…Oh wait its mine, heh. Hello Lucius!"

Snape just sighed and returned to his favorite book '1001 ways to hurt, kill and maim children'. Bliss.

"Ok Death Eaters, Lucius and the children have been watching the HQ for a week, its time to strike!"

The cheers could be hear miles away, they had been playing monopoly for a solid week. Bellatrix was ready to eat the board.

"Ok Men!" Yelled The Dark Lord enthusiastically "And Women!" he yelled more out of fear of the glare Bellatrix than anything else. "Lets go!"

And they disappeared with a crack of apparation, well, all except Crabbe who was trying to steal the fake monopoly money.

Back at the Order of the Phoenixes HQ

The sound of a large group apparating into a muggle street was enough to cause utter chaos. Each Death Eater started firing off jelly legs curse (they had gotten bored of the killing curse) and the tickling jinx (more affective than the crucius according to Voldemort.) Lucius and Bellatrix in a once in a life time efficient move send a reducto curse simultaneously at the door and took cover behind the wall waiting for any escapees. Ron and Draco quickly cast a shield charm and charged in swiftly followed by every other death eater. After checking every room except the meeting room (where movement was seen) Lord Voldemort himself strode in. Kicking the door down in a cool action movie sort of way he stepped in.

To face a herd of sheep.

"…."
"…."
"…."
"…."
"AIEEEEEEEEEEE!" Voldemort screamed in terror and ran for his life.

"Voldemort's scared of sheep?" Lucius muttered
"Well that was unexpected."
"YEEEEEHAAAAAA!"
Whack

"I hate you Dumbledore"