Takes place about an hour after Honda's reaction in the first part of 'After Resemblance.'

I should move. It's getting cold here. The draft from under the door is sending cold air all up and down my legs, but I can't convince them to move.

He's not going to try to follow me anyway. Not tonight. If Honda was going to try to chase me down and demand what I meant by that kiss he would have done it by now.

I almost wish he had. Maybe I'm still too sleepy to think rationally. It's just that I woke up with him so close, and I thought I was seeing something special. He looked so concerned for me.

More likely he was concerned about who he was going to have to face when I woke up. The violent one? The miserably shy one? Who knows which he thinks is worse. He certainly took off quickly when he found out it was me.

He lied to me. I never thought about Honda lying. It just didn't seem like the sort of thing he would do, but he smiled at me and lied like it was nothing. I know my other self did something. I can feel it. My whole body aches in a way that can only mean he's been using it, so that I don't seem to fit inside my own skin anymore.

Either he caused some trouble Honda doesn't want to tell me about, or he hasn't caused any trouble that Honda knows of, so he figures it's safe to lie to me. I wish I knew which it was.

Serves him right that I kissed him. That's what I think. Serves him right if he didn't like it. He can just deal with it. I think I'm entitled to be a little dishonest and to steal a kiss or two if he's going to lie to me. Though, I can't help thinking that he probably didn't notice. He probably didn't even feel it.

He won't have felt it. The more I think, the more I'm sure. The other is laughing at me from just outside my mind, flaunting that he knows something about Honda that I don't. I don't want to know what it is that Honda can share with him that he won't share with me.

But why would Honda share anything with me? He doesn't see me at all.

I know it's not fair to think like that, but I can't help myself lately. I know that he thinks of me as a friend, and that I should be happy with that. I know that being friends alone should make me feel loved and important enough to be happy. Instead it just makes me feel like he's completely ignorant of what I feel for him. Or worse, he knows but he wants to keep me at arms length to keep from encouraging me.

I like him. I'm not going use a stronger word than that, though I'm tempted to. I'm not going to encourage myself to be a bigger fool than I already am.

I can feel the other in the back of my mind. I think his thoughts are on Honda too. I can pick up his emotions more easily than his thoughts most of the time. He hates Honda. I think he hates everybody, actually. Or at least he hates everybody who he bothers to feel anything for.

I've learned to pick up on the different types of hate, they all have different textures that come with them. There are people he despises so much that he can make me physically sick just thinking about them. There are kinds of hate that seem to send him into a fury. There are ones that make him dwell on thoughts of revenge. There are ones that I think are just plain spite.

Honda feels different in his mind. I think he actually enjoys hating Honda, because there's a content tone to the emotion. It's still a painful emotion, sharp and angry, but he revels in it.

It's not fair that he gets so much pleasure out of hating the one I like best.

Maybe that's why Honda lied to me. Maybe I hurt him while my body was out of my control. If that's the case then I don't know if I ever want to forgive him for lying.

He tries to protect me until he forgets that there are things I can do for myself. If anyone can keep the other from bothering him, why not me? I at least have the advantage of sharing a body with him. I've stolen control from him before. I've even saved Honda from the other me before, but apparently he still doesn't trust me to help him.

No. I can't go dreaming up accusations like that. There has to be some reason he wouldn't tell me the truth. Maybe he couldn't tell me the truth. Maybe he thought he did. The other has fooled people into thinking he's me before. I just thought Honda was able to tell the difference.

This isn't getting me anywhere. I push myself up onto my feet. My legs are numb, but at least I can still walk on them. I'm going to take Honda's advice and get to bed before I fall asleep on the floor.

I think I can still get in six hours of sleep. Sleep, dream, and forget for a little while that Honda doesn't really like me. Not the way I want him to. I can almost feel the other laughing at me, but I'm not going to let myself care tonight.

He's calling me a fool. I know it. He's curled up in the back of my mind savoring the hurt tone to my thoughts and the pleasure he gets out of hating Honda.

I almost envy him. I want to be that comfortable in my feelings for Honda. I want to be so comfortable that I don't care what he thinks of me. I want to be able to feel the way the other does, perfectly content and completely sure of what he wants.

Though. . . I don't really want to hate Honda.