"Hi Anya, how's business?" Buffy said as she walked into the Magic Box the day after Tara's party.

"This dried mandrake root is flying off the shelves." Anya replied. She was pricing and shelving jars of what looked like shrivelled up ginger. "I'm going to have to order more soon, and cut down on our stock of wolfsbane, which is just sitting there, taking shelf space away from more profitable products." She cast a contemptuous glare in the direction of the wolfsbane. "And the free rabbit's foot with every purchase promotion is a great success. Would you like one?" Anya asked with a smile, walking over to the counter and taking a furry gray foot from a basket full of them. "Do your part to keep those evil little hoppers from their evil hopping?"

"Sure." Buffy took the foot Anya offered her. "Thanks. Listen, Anya..."

"You have to purchase something now."

"What?"

"That's the way it works. Free rabbit's foot with every purchase. You have to make a purchase if you want a foot."

"Right. Uh, unfortunately, I, um, forgot my money at home." Buffy handed back the foot. Anya frowned. "I'll have to take you up on it some other time. Is Giles around?"

"He's on his lunch hour. Which, paradoxically enough always lasts two hours. He lacks the American work ethic. Not being American."

"Well, he's lucky he's got you to pick up the slack." Buffy said with a smile.

"I know. He should give me a raise."

"Totally." Buffy nodded. She was wringing her hands. "I, um, I wanted to ask you something, actually..."

"Oh? What?" Anya asked as she continued stocking jars of mandrake root.

"Okay, um, well, first, if I did something that most people would consider wierd, or even a little wrong, you wouldn't judge me right?"

"No, I would." Anya said airily. "I wouldn't shun or condemn you, because I wouldn't really care, but I would definitely judge you."

"Great!" Buffy said, genuinely relieved. "See, I don't really care what you think of me, so that works great."

"Yes, we have a mutual relationship of non-caring. So..." Anya casually put down the pricing gun and turned to Buffy. "What's this weird, wrong thing that you did? Not that I care."

"I'm working up to that." Buffy said nervously and took a breath. "Okay, here goes. Last year I, um, I slept with Giles, and it was a mistake, biggest ever, he freaked out which made me freak out and then there was guilt and blame and recriminations and pain and consequences that I'm really not going to get into, but it was all bad, bad, badness for a long, long time and I wanted to hate him forever, but then I stopped hating him and we were like, 'Let's try moving on and being normal!' and all that, but it isn't working because now I think I'm in love with him, and I think he's in love with me too but I really don't know for sure, I'm afraid he isn't, and I don't want to hurt Riley because I still love him, just not not enough, and it makes me feel so guilty and very, very confused and I don't know what to do." Buffy said quickly. She looked imploringly at Anya.

Anya seemed stunned. "Oh. I see." She returned her attention to her mandrake root.

"So what should I do? I figured you've had experience with a lot of triangular-type relationships, so you'd maybe be able to tell me."

Anya sighed and turned back to Buffy. "My experience is with relationships gone wrong. There are six-thousand, seven-hundred and thirty-two ways for that to happen, by the way. I don't know of any method to ensure they turn out all right, or even end on good terms."

"Oh." Buffy's face fell. "Well, what do you think about Giles?"

"He's vaguely handsome." Anya shrugged. "I wouldn't choose him over Mr. Arian-ideal..."

"No, I mean what do think he thinks of me? You hang out with him all day..."

"Excluding his two-hour lunches..." Anya muttered.

"Has he said anything about me?"

"No."

"Nothing at all?"

"No. I can ask him--"

"No!" Buffy's eyes went wide with alarm. "No. Don't do that. Don't tell anyone about this."

"Okay." Anya said defensively.

"Promise?"

"Yes. I promise."

"Okay." Buffy sighed with relief. "Thanks, um, for your help." She turned to go.

As she left the store, Anya called after her cheerily, "Any time!"

Buffy kept her head down, watching her feet as she walked down the sidewalk away from the Magic Box. She wasn't interested in what the rest of the world was up to. She sighed, disappointed and frustrated. But she also felt better, just for having told someone what was going on inside her. It didn't seem like such a world-ending problem anymore. And Anya hadn't judged her -- or, at least, she hadn't said anything judgmental -- so Buffy didn't feel like quite such a terrible person as she did before. Maybe that was all she had wanted from Anya anyhow, someone to tell her problems to, because really, she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to be with Giles. She just didn't know how much he wanted to be with her. And she didn't know what to do about Riley.

Buffy knew the smartest thing to do would be to ask Giles straight up how he felt about her, but she was afraid to, afraid the question would mess them up again. Not that they were acting normal around each other anymore anyways. While Buffy was watching Giles as much as possible, trying to figure him out, he seemed to be keeping his distance as much as possible and avoiding eye contact.

That changed when Buffy told him that a vampire had nearly gutted her with her own stake. Giles put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her intently as he asked if she was sure she was all right. She assured him that she was. Then Giles suddenly seemed to become aware of their proximity. He awkwardly dropped his arm to his side and walked away from her around the research table. Buffy didn't know if he wanted to keep away from her, or if he just thought that was what she wanted, or if he had executively decided that it didn't matter what either of them wanted, that it was simply best this way. In any case, it annoyed her.

She told him that she wanted to look into the Watchers' Diaries, to find out how the other slayers met their ends, so she could learn from their mistakes, and they settled down for an evening of reading.

The Watchers' Diaries turned out not to have the kind of information Buffy was looking for at all.

"Why didn't the Watchers keep fuller accounts of it?" she complained. "The journals just stop."

Giles looked thoughtful. "Well, I suppose if they're anything like me, they just find the whole subject too--"

"Unseemly?" she said irritably. "Damn. Love ya but you Watchers are such prigs sometimes."

"Painful... I was going to say."

"Oh."

Giles immediately returned his gaze to the diary he had been reading. Buffy watched him carefully.

"Giles?" she asked quietly after a long silence. "Do you love me?"

He looked up, surprised by her uncertain tone. "Yes."

"Oh." She raised her eyebrows. "Since when? Just, um, out of curiosity."

He took a moment to think about it. "Um, it's hard to say exactly. S-since I read the prophecy about, uh, you and the Master, at least."

"You never told me." Her voice was very quiet.

He looked up at her, she looked hurt. Giles hung his head, not knowing what to say.

"So, um..." She finally broke the silence. "What's the difference between, uh, that and, um, being in love?"

Giles blinked, taken aback. "Oh. Um..." He removed his glasses and fidgeted with the arms, keeping his eyes on them instead of looking at Buffy. "W-well, the way I-I loved you, um, jarred with, uh, w-wanting you. I-it felt very wrong. Being in love, a-as you know, is quite, uh, quite the oppposite sensation". He spoke in barely more than a whisper. "Although it can still be very painful."

Buffy moved to a chair closer to Giles. "How do you feel about me now?" She was watching him intently.

When he raised his eyes they met hers, and she willed him not to look away. He didn't. "I... um, I-I-I..."

She leaned closer to him. She noticed his gaze travel from her eyes, to her lips and back.

"I, uh... h-h-how's Riley?"

"What?" Buffy blinked. She sat up straight again. "Oh. Um, he's, um, he's good."

"Good. Uh, th-that's good."

"Yeah. He's a good guy."

"I like Riley."

"Me too." Buffy nodded. "So, um, we were talking about slayers."

xxx

After Buffy stopped crying and went back inside, Spike stayed in the shadows, watching the house.

He saw Joyce come out with a small suitcase and drive away.

About fifteen minutes later he heard yelling coming from inside. The door opened.

"Mom said I could go!"

Buffy tried to close the door, but Dawn got between it and the door jam. She didn't leave, however. Buffy must have been holding on to her arm.

"I want to know where you are!"

"You know I'll be at Janice's!"

"I want to know you're where I can keep an eye on you!"

"Well you're not my mom! Mom said I could go! Now let go of me!" She yanked her arm away and ran down the porch stairs.

"Wait!" Buffy ran out after her. "I'm at least coming with you."

Dawn rounded on her. "NO! Leave me alone! I don't need you taking care of me all the time! Just leave me alone!" And she ran off down the street.

"Dawn!" Buffy called after her. She started to follow her sister, but then seemed to think better of it. Running a hand through her hair, she turned back to the house. She stopped at the door and stood there for a minute. Instead of going inside she closed the door and walked away down the street, in the opposite direction from Dawn.

Spike followed her.

xxx

After Buffy left the Magic Box, Giles continued researching slayers' final battles at home. He was just about to go to bed when there was a knock at his door.

It was Buffy. She looked miserable.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course." Giles let her in.

She headed straight for the sofa and sat down.

Giles sat besides her. "What's the matter?"

"It's mom. She's, uh, she's spending the night at the hospital. She's getting a CAT scan. She said not to worry, it's still early..." Buffy took a deep breath. "God, I thought I already cried myself out."

Giles moved closer and took her hands in his.

"I can't help it, I'm sorry."

"No, it's all right." He waited for her to calm down. "How did Dawn take it?"

"Better than me, apparently. She's sleeping over at Janice's."

Giles nodded. "I wish there was something I could say that would make it better."

"Can I just stay with you a while?"

"Of course. Can I, uh, would you like a tea?"

Buffy shook her head. "Just stay with me." She lifted his arm and put it around her. She moved so that she was right next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. In a few minutes she was asleep.

xxx

It was late, but Riley wanted to tell Buffy that the vampire that had staked her was taken care of. When he got to her house, however, it didn't look like anyone was home. He turned away from the door to see Spike standing at the end of the walk,

"Well, if it isn't G.I. Junior," Spike said smugly. "Lost your girl?"

Riley walked right past the vampire without acknowledging him.

Spike followed at a distance. "Ever think about why you can't keep her in bed at night?"

Riley didn't answer.

"Might be your lack of, er, personality. If you know what I mean. Or maybe your lack of experience."

"You can't get to me, Spike," Riley said as he continued walking. "And you can't get to Buffy either. Evil's not her type."

"Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. I'm just saying, she has a history of going for men with a few more years on them than lil' boys like you."

"She's over Angel."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that either. But he's not exactly what I'm talking about."

Riley let out an exasperated sigh and turned on Spike. "Then just come out with what you are talking about, bleach-boy."

Spike smirked at him. "Next time you're with her, if you get the chance, try asking her to call you 'daddy.'" He started to walk away. "Might turn her on."

Riley was left standing there, looking confused.

xxx

The morning light was casting sunbeams across Giles' apartment when Buffy woke up. She and Giles had rearranged themselves somewhat during the night so that he was stretched out diagonally, and Buffy was lying half on top of him. She watched him sleep, in no hurry to move. His eyes fluttered opened.

"Hi," she said softly. Their faces were only a few inches apart.

For a moment he looked surprised to see her. "Hello. How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. I was watching you."

He smiled sleepily. "I noticed."

Buffy smiled sleepily back. She ran her finger lightly along his jaw. "You need to shave."

"Often do in the morning."

"Mm hm..." She snuggled closer, her eyelids drooping shut again. Then her eyes shot open. "Oh my God, it's morning!" She rolled off of Giles and got to her feet.

Giles was still getting over his grogginess, but got up as well,

"I need to be there when Dawn gets home! What if she's home already?" She was half-way out the door when stopped in her tracks. "What if mom's home already?" She turned to face Giles. "What do tell her?"

He shrugged as he walked around to Buffy's side of the sofa. "That you came over here to talk because you were upset and ended up falling asleep on my couch?"

Buffy blinked. "Oh. Yeah," she said, calmer now. "That is all that happened."

"That's all." They stood facing each other for a moment.

"Yeah." Buffy turned away awkwardly and started out the door. Then she stopped again.

She ran back to Giles and he wondered what was wrong, but then her arms were around his neck and she was kissing him. He had just begun to kiss her back when she broke away, smiling like a nervous school girl.

"Bye," she said quickly, and ran out the door.

Giles stood there for a long time, staring out the still-open door into the sunlit courtyard.