It turned out that Joyce had to stay in hospital for more than one night. When the CAT scan results came back she and her family were told she had a brain tumour.
In the wake of the news Xander was able to put aside his recent anger with Buffy and be a supportive friend. He was still stand-offish towards Giles, but entirely civil, probably because he and Buffy showed no signs that they were pursuing a romanitic relationship.
And they weren't. After Buffy had told Giles about her mother's illness, they had talked about what they were going to do.
"I suppose it goes without saying that now's not the best time to, uh, get her 'used to the idea' of, um..."
"Us being couply? Yeah, wouldn't really be a health booster, I'm thinking."
"I don't mind waiting..."
"Well, maybe we could, like, have a thing, and-and just not tell anybody."
"Like a secret?" Giles said skeptically.
Buffy's face fell, but she continued anyways. "Yeah, because, you know, I'm so good at those. I could wear a trenchcoat and a wig and sunglasses, and meet you every Thursday in the same room of the Ritz Hotel..."
Giles smiled. "As intriguing as that sounds, I want anything I have with you to be entirely honest." He looked at her very seriously. "I don't want to make any mistakes this time."
"I know."
It wasn't long, however, before Buffy found herself desperate for some way to forget all the badness of her mom's health, and Dawn and Glory, for some comfort, for someone just to tell her everything would be all right. It had been a bad day for her mother's mood swings; she had been snapping at Buffy one moment and crying the next. Dawn was able to take refuge at Janice's, but that added exponentially to Buffy's nerves -- not being able to keep an eye on Dawn. When Giles opened his door to find Buffy standing there, she looked miserable.
"Dawn is sleeping over at Janice's" she said as she came in.
"Ah." He closed the door and turned towards Buffy.
She stepped forward, closing the space between them. "I wanna sleepover here." She ran her hands up his chest and linked her fingers behind his neck.
"Oh." He said, in rather a higher register than usual. He reached up to remove her hands and stepped back from her.
"What is it?"
"I, um, I-I talked to your mother yesterday..."
"Oh. Why?"
"She asked me to. And, uh, she asked me not to tell you about it, but..." he glanced nervously at Buffy.
"No, tell me. If it's bad I-I want to know."
"It's not bad," Giles was quick to say. "It's just, well, we talked about her will," he said gently.
Buffy looked as shocked as if it had been bad news.
"She's not leaving anything to your father, naturally, and she, um, wants me to be in charge of the investments she leaves for you and Dawn." He paused and continued quietly, "She also thanked me for taking care of you a-and said that if anything does happen to her she knows she can count on me to look after you and Dawn as a father would. Uh, i-in light of that, th-this feels a little, um..."
"Wrong?" Buffy laughed humourlessly.
"Strange, maybe. I'm sorry. If you want to stay and talk, I'll put on some tea and..."
"No. No, it's okay, I-I should be home anyways. In case something happens with Dawn and she tries to call. I shouldn't even be here." And she turned and left.
xxx
"Oh, damn, I'm going to be late picking Dawn up," Buffy said, checking her watch as she left the training room, and she bolted from the Magic Box.
Giles watched her go, then walked over to the till and began going over the receipts for the day.
"So," Anya said to him as she dusted nearby. "Are you and Buffy, you know, doing more than Kung-Fu in there?"
It was a moment before Giles got over his shock and was able to reply, "One, it's none of your business; two, no; and three, how can you even have the gall to ask such a thing?"
"It's not gall. Just curiosity. If you were, I bet you wouldn't be so grumpy," Anya added under her breath. She turned to him. "Why aren't you?"
"Are you serious?"
"I'm not laughing am I?"
"You saw how Xander and Willow reacted to the idea of us... being a couple."
"So?" Anya shrugged "It's not like you'll be announcing to them, 'Hey, the slayer and I found new and creative uses for the pummel horse today--'"
"Anya, for the love of all things good and holy could you please not do that?"
"What?" Anya said, oblivious. "I'm just saying, not like anyone has to know about it."
"Yes, but people tend to find out. And what if it's Buffy's mother who does, or Dawn? I don't want to be the cause of any more trouble in Buffy's life."
"But she'll be happy in other ways."
"I'm not even sure about that," Giles said, more to himself than to Anya.
Anya scoffed. "Buffy gave up Mr. 'Strength for now, strength for later' for you Giles, I'm sure she--"
"No, that's not what I'm talking about," Giles said.
Anya gave him a quizzical look.
He sighed and continued reluctantly, "Buffy hated me, Anya, for more than a year. She said she would never forgive me. Then two weeks ago she does, and suddenly we're in love and she's asking to spend the night with me, and it's incredibly confusing. She changed so drastically, I can't help but wonder if at any moment she might not change back."
"Oh." Anya nodded. "So this is about you being afraid of having your feelings hurt."
Giles rolled his eyes and grimaced, but answered, "Partially."
"Wuss."
He pretended he didn't hear her say that.
xxx
January 10, 2001
...And I thought Buffy couldn't get any weirder. Giles is in England for three days, and she's acting all mopey. More mopey than usual, even. I swear, she has a crush on him. She thinks I don't notice these things, but I do. I don't get them -- I mean, besides being all old, Giles has been bad moody himself lately, really not fun to be around, so I don't get it -- but I do notice it. Other things I've noticed: Buffy looking at me funny, still. Gawd. She's been doing this for months. Like, watching me, with this weird look, then when I look at her, she looks away and pretends she's all normal. I think she's spying on me. She's doing a really crappy job, but I think that's what she's up to. That's why she never wants me to go anywhere, I bet. So that's why I got a real lock for my diary, so she can't sneak into my room and read all the secret stuff I write in here. A few months ago when Buffy was suddenly on this "Ooh! Let's hang and talk and play every single board game ever invented, like ever!" -kick it was scary-level weird, but this is way, way worse...
xxx
"Well, that could have gone worse," Giles said bracingly.
Buffy just looked at him. Her trials with aikido and jiu-jitsu had been disasterous.
"I, um, I-I was trying to b-be, uh, funny."
"I got that, Giles."
"Lost cause?"
"Totally."
There was a loud BANG! Buffy and Giles looked to the front of the store and saw a steaming Spike scambling to get back under his ratty blanket, having apparently dropped it when he ran headlong into the locked door of the Magic Box. He proceeded to knock madly as he threatened to be consumed by flames.
"Spike, however, always good for a laugh." She turned to Giles, who was fightintg back a smile himself. "I guess I'd better go see what he wants." She started towards the door.
"Don't feel obliged."
"Must be something pretty, or at least vaguely, important if he's risking flambe." She opened the door, and Spike ran in.
"Took you long enough!" He said, after he stopped, dropped and rolled to put out the fire. "It is a regular business day, you know, what's with the locked door?"
"We've been closed down for the duration of the Council's review." Giles said as he leaned against the counter. "What do you want?"
"Oh!" Spike said with mock-surprise. "The Watcher's Council is reviewing you, are they? Well, that explains the nice little visit I had with that charming clip-board lady and her mates with the cross-bow. Don't worry luv," he said to Buffy, noticing her cross her arms and step forward. "I didn't tell them anything too incriminating." He smirked. "But I did make sure I got a phone number and a time by which I should call, in case I remember anything else..." His eyes travelled up and down her body, "interesting, that might've slipped my mind."
Buffy punched him hard and he fell to the floor. She grabbed a stake from a shelf and was about to lunge at him.
"Whoa! Whoa! Wait!" Spike yelled. "Wait, you don't seriously think I'd do mailing this black without some insurance do you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Got a letter, luv, that will find its way to your mum, unless the courier gets word from me, and only me, by a certain time not to deliver it." He got to his feet, looking back and forth from Buffy to Giles, who had moved forward from his spot by the counter, and had his hands balled into fists. They were both looking at him with death glares, but Spike could see the fear underneath. "Strikes me, Rupert, that you've got a lot on the line with these Council blokes. Got a lot to lose, haven't you?"
"What do you want, Spike?"
"Money, surprisingly enough. Five-grand, to be exact." He smiled, seeing the shock register on Buffy's face and Giles' failed attempt to remain stoic. "Of course, I may decide to ask a kinder price," He looked Buffy over again, "in exchange for a few small favours from the slayer. Uh-uh-uh," He said, raising his hands as Buffy made to hit him again. "No violence, or I may decide to up the price."
Buffy lowered her fist and turned away, running her hand through her hair instead.
"So, Rupert, any suggestions as to what our girl does best?"
"Get out." Giles growled.
"Alright, alright. But I expect the money at my crypt, at sundown, brought to me by the slayer," He nodded to Buffy, "alone." And with that he threw his blanket over himself and ran out the door.
Buffy marched back into the training room. After he locked the door to the shop again, Giles joined her. She was giving the punching bag the pummeling of its life.
"When you're done on that, I think I may want to have a go," he said.
Buffy held the punching bag still and leaned her forehead against it.
"Can you even get five-thousand dollars by sundown?"
"Oh, yes. Having no dependents and two incomes for most of one's life tends to lead to a rather substantial chequing account, even after a year's sojourn from employment." He ran his hand through his hair and looked up at the ceiling. "I just hate the thought of that little pillock being able to jerk us around like this." He let out a sigh of frustration. "And I thought this whole situation couldn't get any worse."
Buffy went over to the couch, she sat down and held her head in her hands. "Five-thousand dollars. God! Kinda makes you think we should be doing something to really get our money's worth, huh?" She looked up at Giles with a laugh.
He smiled too, but then the next moment neither of them were laughing, and they were looking at each other like they were feeling rebellious and reckless enough to make it not a joke at all, and the moment after that Giles was next to her and kissing her, and vaguely hoping that his glasses didn't break as he dropped them to the ground.
For a long time they just kissed, the way Buffy had imagined for weeks, and the way Giles had dreamed of but never let himself think about during the day. She tasted sweet and salty and was damp from working out, and he didn't want to take his hands from her, and only did when she slid his jacket off. She climbed onto his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist, and undid his necktie, his buttons, kissing his neck as she did. His hands were under her tanktop, on the bare skin of her back. As he moved them around to her front, his fingers grazed the sides of her ribcage and she suddenly laughed.
Giles pulled away from her. "Are you ticklish?" he asked, surprised that she might be without him knowing until now.
Her eyes were wide with fear. "Um, no."
"Oh," he said, nodding, as if he accepted her answer, but then his eyes sparked and he smiled wickedly and tickled her again, and she burst out laughing.
Then she was on her back, and he was on top of her, and she was gasping for air, she couldn't stop laughing. "Stop it!"
"Alright!" He said, laughing himself, and kissed her hard.
She still couldn't quite breathe, and suddenly this was too much like the last time. His hands were under her shirt, and under her waistband. They were going too fast and not being careful and she was very scared that it would all end up like it did before, with her in that doctor's office. She couldn't breathe, she felt trapped, she wanted to stop. "Stop it!" she pushed him away, onto the floor. She was on her feet and half-way to the door.
"What's wrong?" she heard him say. She turned around. He looked worried and confused and hurt.
"I'm sorry. I..." she couldn't speak, she was crying. She ran away.
x
The day after the Watchers' Council left Sunnydale, Buffy came into the Magic Box and gave a large wad of cash to Giles.
"I beat Spike up and got your money back,"
"Oh. Thank you." Giles said and put the money in the cash register for the time being. "Um, are you sure he won't, in retribution..."
"His face is too swollen for him to talk right now. It's five hundred dollars short, by the way. Must've spent it already."
"That was fast."
"Yeah." There was a moment's awkward silence before Buffy spoke again. "I am sorry for how I acted the other day."
"No, no, it's all right, i-it's, um, understandable, e-especially if..." Giles trailed off. He looked very serious. "Buffy, I-I w-w-want to know i-if I... if, uh, last time, d-d-did I, uh..." He trailed off again, ran his hand through his hair and sighed. Buffy realized she hadn't seen him look like this in months, not since he had gotten over his guilt.
"What? What do you think you did?"
Giles took a deep breath. "The type of, um, reaction you had would not have been unusual f-for one wh-who had been, uh, traumatized. Physically or emotionally," he said, unable to look at her. "I know it was, um, upsetting, because I said I was going to leave, and I assumed your relationship with Riley uh, generated more guilt that you projected onto me after your party, but I didn't think..." He had to pause to collect himself again.
"You didn't do anything to me Giles."
"Then why...?" Suddenly he looked even more concerned. "Riley never did anything --"
"No. No. Riley never did anything to... and neither did you. What could you have done to me?" Buffy said, trying to blow it off.
"Emotionally coerced you?" he said softly. "I was half-drunk and thinking I could do anything with you because you're the slayer and could take it." He kept his head hung low, not able to look at her face. His voice dropped even more. "I've done worse, when I was much younger. I wouldn't hold myself above it."
Buffy was shocked by Giles' last confession, but he seemed so ashamed of himself that she couldn't judge him. She shook her head. "No, you didn't do anything."
"Then what happened?" He looked up at her, his eyes searching her face for an answer.
"Nothing. I just freaked a bit. It happens. That's all."
"Oh."
Buffy could see that he knew it was a lie, and maybe he could see that she knew it, too. But she could never, ever, tell him the truth.