I still own diddlysquat. The characters (with the exception of the children
I've made up) are entirely Margaret Mitchell's. This twist on the original
storyline is mine. Some quotes/passages have been blatantly ripped off from
the classic movie and book Gone With The Wind.
The months passed and Scarlett's confusion lessened. Slowly the memory of Stu, and whatever feelings he might have evoked faded. She forced the thoughts from her mind, content to know she loved Ashley and ignore everything else.
And while the war raged on in Virginia and Pennsylvania, taking the men she loved, she really lacked for very little. The important things she could get, and the unimportant things that no one could get, well, she got those from Rhett Butler.
He became a frequent caller at the home of Miss Pittypat Hamilton, and when in town was always invited to dinner at least once a week. He insulted Scarlett regularly, and at least half his visits ended with him being ordered out of her sight. But he would return with chocolate or some of other sweet gift and she would forget his transgressions-until the next one.
"Oh Rhett, you're too good to be true!" Scarlett cried, admiring the simply sweet bonnet he'd set at her side. "The darling thing. It's really for me?"
"Yes, I saw it and knew none other but Scarlett O'Hara could properly wear that bonnet." Rhett smirked.
"Oh, but I really can't accept it Rhett. You really shouldn't give me so many gifts, though it is kind of you."
"I'm not kind, I'm just tempting you. I never do anything unless it'll benefit me in the long run." He put out his cigar and stood, smirking at her. "And I always get paid."
"Well I don't know what you think I'll give you for it." Scarlett replied, putting her hands on her hips and staring at him, an inquiring look on her face. He crossed the room and stared down at her, a queer gleam in his eye.
"You don't?" He asked quietly, smirking at her.
"You mustn't-don't stand so close Rhett." Scarlett, suddenly breathless whispered, dropping her arms to her sides and backing into the mantle just behind her. "It...isn't proper."
"And your point my dear?" Rhett replied softly, staring intently into her eyes.
Scarlett looked away from his prying eyes and weakly tried to push him back. "Please Rhett, if someone should walk in they'd think..."
Rhett smirked at her and lifted her chin so he could see her eyes again. "I know exactly what they'd think my dear." He wound his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Scarlett unconsciously tilted her head up, but his piercing gaze was magnetic, she couldn't look away or close her eyes. He captured her mouth with his own and Scarlett felt suddenly faint. After an endless moment he pulled away, still watching her with that odd glow. Scarlett gaped at him, shock written across her face. Without conscious thought her hand rose and she slapped him with all her might.
"Get out, you cad!" Scarlett ordered. "Get out of this house this instant!"
He smirked and bowed mockingly. "Of course. Good afternoon Mrs. Tarleton." He picked up his hat and left quickly.
Scarlett lifted a finger to her lips and was overcome with shame. "Oh I can't think about it now. I'll think about it tomorrow." She declared aloud, forcibly turning her thoughts to more pleasant subjects. Despite herself she smiled when she realized she was still wearing the bonnet. She admired herself in the mirror over the mantle and forgot all about Rhett Butler-for the moment.
In March of 1863, Scarlett went home to Tara for a short visit. She had several new dresses with her, and a thoroughly pleased air about her. After getting over her possessiveness, she had pushed Brent at Carreen, and vice versa. Now, she was coming home for her baby sister's wedding.
"To think! The Tarleton twins both marrying O'Hara girls!" Scarlett laughed and patted Stu's arm. "I must say, Brent's awful lucky, getting a good girl like Carreen."
Stu grinned and tightened his arm around her waist. "Just like I was awful lucky, getting the most beautiful girl in Georgia." She threw him a gay smile and his breath caught-he wondered again what he had down for God to smile down on him, and give him this beautiful creature as his wife.
Scarlett preened inwardly under Stu's adoring gaze. Outwardly she appeared just as modest and unassuming as a matron and mother should be. "Aw, you're too sweet Stu." She blushed with false modesty. "Hurry now, I think I see Pa." She pulled away from her husband and pushed through the crowds. "Pa!" She called, waving.
"Katie Scarlett!" Gerald called out, pushing his way to her side. He embraced her immediately, happy to have his little girl by his side again. "My Katie Scarlett! You've been from home for too long child." He chided. "Now where's my little grandchild?" He demanded.
Scarlett laughed and waved Prissy over. "Here's my darling Pa. Hasn't she grown?" Scarlett asked proudly, watching as Prissy led Amy over, the toddler's short chubby leg's trying to keep up with the much older and taller girl.
"Me no walk!" Amy cried suddenly, halting. "Priss carry!"
Prissy tried to pull her further-her arms were already laden with packages- but Scarlett's deadly glare pulled her up short and she picked up her small mistress. Scarlett took the child from her arms when she came closer and all traces of hardness vanished from her face.
"Beautiful, isn't she Pa?" Scarlett asked merrily.
Gerald scooped up his grand-baby and tossed her in the air. Amy screamed delightedly and begged for him to throw her higher.
"No!" Scarlett said quickly. "No higher Pa." She repeated more quietly. "We should be going. Everyone's staring." She added, looking around the station.
"Let them stare! Have they never seen a man and his granddaughter before?" Gerald demanded. "But you're right, we'd best hurry home. Let's get your bags, your Mother is anxious to see you." Scarlett's face lit up and she nodded eagerly.
"Oh yes, let's hurry. I've missed everyone so much!" Scarlett smiled dreamily as they hopped into Gerald's buggy. "I haven't been home in over six months!"
Stu laughed and hugged her. "I'm glad you got the opportunity honey. I haven't been back here in...almost a year."
"And you've been missed, to be sure!" Gerald boomed, playing with Amy's red curls. "Your poor mother's been nearly beside herself, with near all her horses gone and you boys at war."
Stu laughed. "Yeah, she's got no one to boss now!"
"And no one to lick." Scarlett added, giggling. Stu feigned an injured look, which only made Scarlett laugh all the harder. "Stu honey, no one's fooled by that. We all know your Ma licked you even more than Tom and Boyd combined."
"Well, is it my fault Tom and Boyd never got in any decent scrapes?" Stu demanded. "Even if Brent and I did get licked more'n them, we had more fun than them too."
"Aw, Stu, I didn't mean anything." Scarlett soothed his ruffled feathers. "After all, didn't I get into twice as much trouble as Suellen or Carreen?"
"Most of it was with me and Brent." Stu grinned impishly.
Scarlett laughed with real mirth this time. "Yes, you always got me into some scrape or another!"
"Us! You started half of them!" Stu pointed out, poking her.
Gerald grinned at his laughing daughter. It'd been a long time since he saw her that happy, she'd been moping around for months. So happy and proud was he, that he burst into an off-key rendition of 'The Wearin' o' the Green', to Scarlett's amusement and chagrin.
"Oh Pa, stop!" Scarlett laughed. "You'll frighten the horses with that yowling!"
"Am I hearing me own daughter telling me I can't sing?" Gerald demanded, his eyes twinkling merrily. "I'll not have you tellin' me when I can sing and not sing! Me own voice, so 'tis." He hummed defiantly, but to Scarlett's relief did not start singing again.
Scarlett laughed at him-the adorable darling! Everything was perfect today, Amy was beautiful and Stu was safe, and she was going home!
The wedding was beautiful. Scarlett had arranged-via Rhett Butler of course- for Carreen to have a white satin dress, and between the six Tarleton women, a complete uniform had been made for Brent.
When Carreen came down the aisle, her face positively aglow with happiness, Scarlett realized with a jolt that her baby sister really was pretty. Not beautiful, but very pretty indeed. She felt a pang of guilt when she thought of all those times that she'd teased the poor girl. She really was in love with Brent. Looking at him, Scarlett realized that it was mutual- with only a small twinge of jealousy. She didn't begrudge Carreen her happiness, but rather envied it.
Later, as she watched Carreen preside over the dinner and party, she wondered if, had she married Ashley, would she be so happy? He'd said-what was it he'd said? She would want all of a man, and he couldn't give it to her? That she wouldn't understand him. Carreen-she understood Brent, she was like Brent. And Pa-oh, what was it he'd said? All these things she'd ignored at the time-oh she had to remember! 'Only when like marries like can there be any happiness.' Yes, that, was it. And she wasn't like Ashley. She knew that, she'd always known that. She would change him, she'd thought. Had she changed Stu one whit since she'd married him? No. Any change in him had come from the war, not her. Could she have changed Ashley? Change what, his very nature? Take away his books and his music and his dream world? What she would have left would be-a shell. An empty shell that would walk and talk like a man, but never be one. Like marries like. She was like Stu. She cared nothing for education and 'culture'. If-oh if she'd married Ashley they would have hated, hated one another! He would long for a person like Melanie, and she would long for someone like herself. And they would have regretted their marriage bitterly, so very bitterly.
She gasped audibly -garnering the attention of a few nearby matrons- as realization finally set in. She did not-could not- love Ashley Wilkes. He did not share her nature, would hate and despise her if ever understood it. Confusion filled her heart. 'What will I do now?' she wondered painfully. 'What is there to live for, if not loving Ashley?'
Her question was not answered that night, but she continued to wonder in the three o'clocks of many following nights, until it nearly drove her mad.
Then, two months after her startling realization came news that changed everything. Once again she was pregnant.
Scarlett stared at Doctor Meade. "That's impossible!" Was her immediate reaction. It had never crossed her mind that she could have more children. After Laurel-it didn't seem right somehow, that she was still able to have children.
Doctor Meade patted her hand gently. "I know it's difficult, with Mr. Tarleton away, but now your little Amy will have a playmate."
Scarlett wanted to scream at him 'she would already have a playmate but she's dead!' but didn't. She just stood numbly and led him to the door. "Thank you, Doctor Meade." She said quietly. The worthy doctor didn't quite understand her melancholy, but he rather liked Scarlett. So he patted her hand and smiled at her in what he believed to be a comforting manner.
"I'm sure Corporal Tarleton will be all right," the good doctor soothed. "Now then. Come see me again in a few weeks alright?"
"Of course." Scarlett replied automatically.
"Good day." He nodded deeply and, picking up his had an coat, left her to her thoughts.
'Another baby. Oh...damn.' Scarlett's eyes widened at this sudden blasphemy and crossed herself. She put a hand to her head and sighed. There wasn't much she could do now. She had another seven months of pain and discomfort, leading up to a wailing infant and another month of confinement. She wanted to cry, to scream, something.
"Scarlett, darling?" Melanie's gentle voice brought her attention to the back parlor door and Melly's sweet worried face. "Is everything alright? Did Doctor Meade say anything?"
Scarlett forced a smile. "I seem to be expecting a child." She replied and dropped her eyes.
Melanie approached slowly then embraced and kissed Scarlett. "How wonderful dearest." She said softly. She stepped back, surprised by the misery in Scarlett's expression. "Oh my darling." Melly took her hands and her eyes filled with sympathetic tears. "I know it won't replace the one you lost, but..."
"Her name was Laurel!"
Melanie started at the harsh tone. "I'm sorry dearest. I-I know her name was Laurel." Scarlett gasped in pain and fairly ran for the safety of her room. Melanie burst into self-reproachful tears and retreated into the back parlor.
Scarlett smiled slightly, reading her husband's most recent letter. He was such a dear, and so very excited. She felt the first stirrings of excitement and fervently wished for a boy. Stu would love a boy. It was with a much lighter heart than she'd had in months that Scarlett left her room in search of her daughter. Perhaps it would not be so horrible, having a new baby to fuss over and show off. After all, with parents such as it had it would have to be beautiful. With this cheering thought Scarlett banished all unpleasantness from her mind-without even a thought to the fighting that continued to rage in Pennsylvania.
When the first rumors of the battle raging in Pennsylvania struck Atlanta they paused. Slowly they stopped what they were doing and crowds near the newspaper and telegraph offices grew larger and more deathly quiet with every day. There was no talking. Occasionally an old man's treble voice begged for news, and instead of inciting the crowd to babbling it only intensified the hush as they heard the oft-repeated: "Nothing on the wires yet from the North except that there's been fighting." The fringe of women on foot and in carriages grew greater and greater, and the heat of the close-packed bodies and dust rising from restless feet were suffocating. The women did not speak, but their pale set faces pleaded with a mute eloquence that was louder than wailing.
Melanie's small, heart-shaped face was dead white and she made not a sound as she sat in Miss Pitty's carriage outside the newspaper office. She had declared she would not move until the lists were out, and she had not, through all the sweltering afternoon hours. Scarlett clasped her hand tightly and tried to control her fear.
There was a movement on the outskirts of the crowd and those on foot gave way as Rhett Butler carefully edged his horse toward Aunt Pitty's carriage. Scarlett thought: He's got courage, coming here at this time when it wouldn't take anything to make this mob tear him to pieces because he isn't in uniform. As he came nearer, she thought she might be the first to rend him. How dare he sit atop his fine horse in a tailored suit, while Stu and Brent and Ashley were fighting-maybe dying-at the front?
"Hello Mrs. Wilkes." He greeted softly. He raised an eyebrow at Scarlett- who was out, even in her obvious pregnancy- and smirked. "Mrs. Tarleton."
"Hello Captain Butler." Melly replied, smiling bravely. Scarlett bit her tongue, she felt if she so much as opened her mouth the hot words in her heart would come bubbling out before all of Atlanta.
"I came to tell you ladies," he said, loud enough for all around to hear, "that I have been to headquarters and the first casualty lists are coming in."
At these words a hum rose and the crowd surged, ready to turn and run down Whitehall Street toward headquarters.
"Don't go," he called, rising in his saddle and holding up his hand. "The lists have been sent to both newspapers and are now being printed. Stay where you are!"
"Oh, Captain Butler," cried Melly, turning to him with tears in her eyes. "How kind of you to come and tell us! When will they be posted?"
"They should be out any minute, Madam. The reports have been in the offices for half an hour now. The major in charge didn't want to let that out until the printing was done, for fear the crowd would wreck the offices trying to get news. Ah! Look!"
The side window of the newspaper office opened and a hand was extended, bearing a sheaf of long narrow galley proofs, smeared with fresh ink and thick with names closely printed. The crowd fought for them, tearing the slips in half, those obtaining them trying to back out through the crowd to read, those behind pushing forward, crying: "Let me through!"
"Hold the reins," said Rhett shortly, swinging to the ground and tossing the bridle to Uncle Peter. In a short while he was back, with half a dozen in his hands. He tossed one to Melanie and distributed the others among the ladies in the nearest carriages, the Misses McLure, Mrs. Meade, Mrs. Merriwether, Mrs. Elsing.
Melanie's hands shook as she scanned down the names, none registering until she reached the Ws. "He's not there." She whispered. She closed her eyes and clutched the list to her. "Oh thank God! Ashley's alive!"
Scarlett spared Melanie not a glance as she tore the list from her hands. "Let me look!" She barked. Melanie started and a look of utter self- reproach crossed her sweet face.
"I'm sorry darling." She said quickly. "I-I'm sure Corporal Tarleton is-"
"He's dead." Scarlett announced dully. She handed the list back to Melanie, her large green eyes glazing over. "Stu and Brent and Tom. They're are all dead."
"Oh my darling..." Melanie wrapped her thin arms around Scarlett's shoulder and pulled her close. "Drive home Uncle Peter." She commanded softly, rubbing Scarlett's shaking back. "Drive us home."
The months passed and Scarlett's confusion lessened. Slowly the memory of Stu, and whatever feelings he might have evoked faded. She forced the thoughts from her mind, content to know she loved Ashley and ignore everything else.
And while the war raged on in Virginia and Pennsylvania, taking the men she loved, she really lacked for very little. The important things she could get, and the unimportant things that no one could get, well, she got those from Rhett Butler.
He became a frequent caller at the home of Miss Pittypat Hamilton, and when in town was always invited to dinner at least once a week. He insulted Scarlett regularly, and at least half his visits ended with him being ordered out of her sight. But he would return with chocolate or some of other sweet gift and she would forget his transgressions-until the next one.
"Oh Rhett, you're too good to be true!" Scarlett cried, admiring the simply sweet bonnet he'd set at her side. "The darling thing. It's really for me?"
"Yes, I saw it and knew none other but Scarlett O'Hara could properly wear that bonnet." Rhett smirked.
"Oh, but I really can't accept it Rhett. You really shouldn't give me so many gifts, though it is kind of you."
"I'm not kind, I'm just tempting you. I never do anything unless it'll benefit me in the long run." He put out his cigar and stood, smirking at her. "And I always get paid."
"Well I don't know what you think I'll give you for it." Scarlett replied, putting her hands on her hips and staring at him, an inquiring look on her face. He crossed the room and stared down at her, a queer gleam in his eye.
"You don't?" He asked quietly, smirking at her.
"You mustn't-don't stand so close Rhett." Scarlett, suddenly breathless whispered, dropping her arms to her sides and backing into the mantle just behind her. "It...isn't proper."
"And your point my dear?" Rhett replied softly, staring intently into her eyes.
Scarlett looked away from his prying eyes and weakly tried to push him back. "Please Rhett, if someone should walk in they'd think..."
Rhett smirked at her and lifted her chin so he could see her eyes again. "I know exactly what they'd think my dear." He wound his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Scarlett unconsciously tilted her head up, but his piercing gaze was magnetic, she couldn't look away or close her eyes. He captured her mouth with his own and Scarlett felt suddenly faint. After an endless moment he pulled away, still watching her with that odd glow. Scarlett gaped at him, shock written across her face. Without conscious thought her hand rose and she slapped him with all her might.
"Get out, you cad!" Scarlett ordered. "Get out of this house this instant!"
He smirked and bowed mockingly. "Of course. Good afternoon Mrs. Tarleton." He picked up his hat and left quickly.
Scarlett lifted a finger to her lips and was overcome with shame. "Oh I can't think about it now. I'll think about it tomorrow." She declared aloud, forcibly turning her thoughts to more pleasant subjects. Despite herself she smiled when she realized she was still wearing the bonnet. She admired herself in the mirror over the mantle and forgot all about Rhett Butler-for the moment.
In March of 1863, Scarlett went home to Tara for a short visit. She had several new dresses with her, and a thoroughly pleased air about her. After getting over her possessiveness, she had pushed Brent at Carreen, and vice versa. Now, she was coming home for her baby sister's wedding.
"To think! The Tarleton twins both marrying O'Hara girls!" Scarlett laughed and patted Stu's arm. "I must say, Brent's awful lucky, getting a good girl like Carreen."
Stu grinned and tightened his arm around her waist. "Just like I was awful lucky, getting the most beautiful girl in Georgia." She threw him a gay smile and his breath caught-he wondered again what he had down for God to smile down on him, and give him this beautiful creature as his wife.
Scarlett preened inwardly under Stu's adoring gaze. Outwardly she appeared just as modest and unassuming as a matron and mother should be. "Aw, you're too sweet Stu." She blushed with false modesty. "Hurry now, I think I see Pa." She pulled away from her husband and pushed through the crowds. "Pa!" She called, waving.
"Katie Scarlett!" Gerald called out, pushing his way to her side. He embraced her immediately, happy to have his little girl by his side again. "My Katie Scarlett! You've been from home for too long child." He chided. "Now where's my little grandchild?" He demanded.
Scarlett laughed and waved Prissy over. "Here's my darling Pa. Hasn't she grown?" Scarlett asked proudly, watching as Prissy led Amy over, the toddler's short chubby leg's trying to keep up with the much older and taller girl.
"Me no walk!" Amy cried suddenly, halting. "Priss carry!"
Prissy tried to pull her further-her arms were already laden with packages- but Scarlett's deadly glare pulled her up short and she picked up her small mistress. Scarlett took the child from her arms when she came closer and all traces of hardness vanished from her face.
"Beautiful, isn't she Pa?" Scarlett asked merrily.
Gerald scooped up his grand-baby and tossed her in the air. Amy screamed delightedly and begged for him to throw her higher.
"No!" Scarlett said quickly. "No higher Pa." She repeated more quietly. "We should be going. Everyone's staring." She added, looking around the station.
"Let them stare! Have they never seen a man and his granddaughter before?" Gerald demanded. "But you're right, we'd best hurry home. Let's get your bags, your Mother is anxious to see you." Scarlett's face lit up and she nodded eagerly.
"Oh yes, let's hurry. I've missed everyone so much!" Scarlett smiled dreamily as they hopped into Gerald's buggy. "I haven't been home in over six months!"
Stu laughed and hugged her. "I'm glad you got the opportunity honey. I haven't been back here in...almost a year."
"And you've been missed, to be sure!" Gerald boomed, playing with Amy's red curls. "Your poor mother's been nearly beside herself, with near all her horses gone and you boys at war."
Stu laughed. "Yeah, she's got no one to boss now!"
"And no one to lick." Scarlett added, giggling. Stu feigned an injured look, which only made Scarlett laugh all the harder. "Stu honey, no one's fooled by that. We all know your Ma licked you even more than Tom and Boyd combined."
"Well, is it my fault Tom and Boyd never got in any decent scrapes?" Stu demanded. "Even if Brent and I did get licked more'n them, we had more fun than them too."
"Aw, Stu, I didn't mean anything." Scarlett soothed his ruffled feathers. "After all, didn't I get into twice as much trouble as Suellen or Carreen?"
"Most of it was with me and Brent." Stu grinned impishly.
Scarlett laughed with real mirth this time. "Yes, you always got me into some scrape or another!"
"Us! You started half of them!" Stu pointed out, poking her.
Gerald grinned at his laughing daughter. It'd been a long time since he saw her that happy, she'd been moping around for months. So happy and proud was he, that he burst into an off-key rendition of 'The Wearin' o' the Green', to Scarlett's amusement and chagrin.
"Oh Pa, stop!" Scarlett laughed. "You'll frighten the horses with that yowling!"
"Am I hearing me own daughter telling me I can't sing?" Gerald demanded, his eyes twinkling merrily. "I'll not have you tellin' me when I can sing and not sing! Me own voice, so 'tis." He hummed defiantly, but to Scarlett's relief did not start singing again.
Scarlett laughed at him-the adorable darling! Everything was perfect today, Amy was beautiful and Stu was safe, and she was going home!
The wedding was beautiful. Scarlett had arranged-via Rhett Butler of course- for Carreen to have a white satin dress, and between the six Tarleton women, a complete uniform had been made for Brent.
When Carreen came down the aisle, her face positively aglow with happiness, Scarlett realized with a jolt that her baby sister really was pretty. Not beautiful, but very pretty indeed. She felt a pang of guilt when she thought of all those times that she'd teased the poor girl. She really was in love with Brent. Looking at him, Scarlett realized that it was mutual- with only a small twinge of jealousy. She didn't begrudge Carreen her happiness, but rather envied it.
Later, as she watched Carreen preside over the dinner and party, she wondered if, had she married Ashley, would she be so happy? He'd said-what was it he'd said? She would want all of a man, and he couldn't give it to her? That she wouldn't understand him. Carreen-she understood Brent, she was like Brent. And Pa-oh, what was it he'd said? All these things she'd ignored at the time-oh she had to remember! 'Only when like marries like can there be any happiness.' Yes, that, was it. And she wasn't like Ashley. She knew that, she'd always known that. She would change him, she'd thought. Had she changed Stu one whit since she'd married him? No. Any change in him had come from the war, not her. Could she have changed Ashley? Change what, his very nature? Take away his books and his music and his dream world? What she would have left would be-a shell. An empty shell that would walk and talk like a man, but never be one. Like marries like. She was like Stu. She cared nothing for education and 'culture'. If-oh if she'd married Ashley they would have hated, hated one another! He would long for a person like Melanie, and she would long for someone like herself. And they would have regretted their marriage bitterly, so very bitterly.
She gasped audibly -garnering the attention of a few nearby matrons- as realization finally set in. She did not-could not- love Ashley Wilkes. He did not share her nature, would hate and despise her if ever understood it. Confusion filled her heart. 'What will I do now?' she wondered painfully. 'What is there to live for, if not loving Ashley?'
Her question was not answered that night, but she continued to wonder in the three o'clocks of many following nights, until it nearly drove her mad.
Then, two months after her startling realization came news that changed everything. Once again she was pregnant.
Scarlett stared at Doctor Meade. "That's impossible!" Was her immediate reaction. It had never crossed her mind that she could have more children. After Laurel-it didn't seem right somehow, that she was still able to have children.
Doctor Meade patted her hand gently. "I know it's difficult, with Mr. Tarleton away, but now your little Amy will have a playmate."
Scarlett wanted to scream at him 'she would already have a playmate but she's dead!' but didn't. She just stood numbly and led him to the door. "Thank you, Doctor Meade." She said quietly. The worthy doctor didn't quite understand her melancholy, but he rather liked Scarlett. So he patted her hand and smiled at her in what he believed to be a comforting manner.
"I'm sure Corporal Tarleton will be all right," the good doctor soothed. "Now then. Come see me again in a few weeks alright?"
"Of course." Scarlett replied automatically.
"Good day." He nodded deeply and, picking up his had an coat, left her to her thoughts.
'Another baby. Oh...damn.' Scarlett's eyes widened at this sudden blasphemy and crossed herself. She put a hand to her head and sighed. There wasn't much she could do now. She had another seven months of pain and discomfort, leading up to a wailing infant and another month of confinement. She wanted to cry, to scream, something.
"Scarlett, darling?" Melanie's gentle voice brought her attention to the back parlor door and Melly's sweet worried face. "Is everything alright? Did Doctor Meade say anything?"
Scarlett forced a smile. "I seem to be expecting a child." She replied and dropped her eyes.
Melanie approached slowly then embraced and kissed Scarlett. "How wonderful dearest." She said softly. She stepped back, surprised by the misery in Scarlett's expression. "Oh my darling." Melly took her hands and her eyes filled with sympathetic tears. "I know it won't replace the one you lost, but..."
"Her name was Laurel!"
Melanie started at the harsh tone. "I'm sorry dearest. I-I know her name was Laurel." Scarlett gasped in pain and fairly ran for the safety of her room. Melanie burst into self-reproachful tears and retreated into the back parlor.
Scarlett smiled slightly, reading her husband's most recent letter. He was such a dear, and so very excited. She felt the first stirrings of excitement and fervently wished for a boy. Stu would love a boy. It was with a much lighter heart than she'd had in months that Scarlett left her room in search of her daughter. Perhaps it would not be so horrible, having a new baby to fuss over and show off. After all, with parents such as it had it would have to be beautiful. With this cheering thought Scarlett banished all unpleasantness from her mind-without even a thought to the fighting that continued to rage in Pennsylvania.
When the first rumors of the battle raging in Pennsylvania struck Atlanta they paused. Slowly they stopped what they were doing and crowds near the newspaper and telegraph offices grew larger and more deathly quiet with every day. There was no talking. Occasionally an old man's treble voice begged for news, and instead of inciting the crowd to babbling it only intensified the hush as they heard the oft-repeated: "Nothing on the wires yet from the North except that there's been fighting." The fringe of women on foot and in carriages grew greater and greater, and the heat of the close-packed bodies and dust rising from restless feet were suffocating. The women did not speak, but their pale set faces pleaded with a mute eloquence that was louder than wailing.
Melanie's small, heart-shaped face was dead white and she made not a sound as she sat in Miss Pitty's carriage outside the newspaper office. She had declared she would not move until the lists were out, and she had not, through all the sweltering afternoon hours. Scarlett clasped her hand tightly and tried to control her fear.
There was a movement on the outskirts of the crowd and those on foot gave way as Rhett Butler carefully edged his horse toward Aunt Pitty's carriage. Scarlett thought: He's got courage, coming here at this time when it wouldn't take anything to make this mob tear him to pieces because he isn't in uniform. As he came nearer, she thought she might be the first to rend him. How dare he sit atop his fine horse in a tailored suit, while Stu and Brent and Ashley were fighting-maybe dying-at the front?
"Hello Mrs. Wilkes." He greeted softly. He raised an eyebrow at Scarlett- who was out, even in her obvious pregnancy- and smirked. "Mrs. Tarleton."
"Hello Captain Butler." Melly replied, smiling bravely. Scarlett bit her tongue, she felt if she so much as opened her mouth the hot words in her heart would come bubbling out before all of Atlanta.
"I came to tell you ladies," he said, loud enough for all around to hear, "that I have been to headquarters and the first casualty lists are coming in."
At these words a hum rose and the crowd surged, ready to turn and run down Whitehall Street toward headquarters.
"Don't go," he called, rising in his saddle and holding up his hand. "The lists have been sent to both newspapers and are now being printed. Stay where you are!"
"Oh, Captain Butler," cried Melly, turning to him with tears in her eyes. "How kind of you to come and tell us! When will they be posted?"
"They should be out any minute, Madam. The reports have been in the offices for half an hour now. The major in charge didn't want to let that out until the printing was done, for fear the crowd would wreck the offices trying to get news. Ah! Look!"
The side window of the newspaper office opened and a hand was extended, bearing a sheaf of long narrow galley proofs, smeared with fresh ink and thick with names closely printed. The crowd fought for them, tearing the slips in half, those obtaining them trying to back out through the crowd to read, those behind pushing forward, crying: "Let me through!"
"Hold the reins," said Rhett shortly, swinging to the ground and tossing the bridle to Uncle Peter. In a short while he was back, with half a dozen in his hands. He tossed one to Melanie and distributed the others among the ladies in the nearest carriages, the Misses McLure, Mrs. Meade, Mrs. Merriwether, Mrs. Elsing.
Melanie's hands shook as she scanned down the names, none registering until she reached the Ws. "He's not there." She whispered. She closed her eyes and clutched the list to her. "Oh thank God! Ashley's alive!"
Scarlett spared Melanie not a glance as she tore the list from her hands. "Let me look!" She barked. Melanie started and a look of utter self- reproach crossed her sweet face.
"I'm sorry darling." She said quickly. "I-I'm sure Corporal Tarleton is-"
"He's dead." Scarlett announced dully. She handed the list back to Melanie, her large green eyes glazing over. "Stu and Brent and Tom. They're are all dead."
"Oh my darling..." Melanie wrapped her thin arms around Scarlett's shoulder and pulled her close. "Drive home Uncle Peter." She commanded softly, rubbing Scarlett's shaking back. "Drive us home."