Scarlett stared at her reflection with distaste. The black dress Mrs.
Whiting had lent her didn't fit properly, and her pregnant stomach was very
visible. Her eyes were red from tears and her hair was twisted into a loose
chignon. She looked away from the disturbing image and tucked the last of
her immediate belongings into her satchel. She left the room and slowly
descended the stairs, swallowing her tears. When she reached the landing
Melanie immediately pulled her into a hug.
"Write to me when...when your time comes." Melanie said gently, stepping back. "I promised Corp-I promised I'd stay with you."
Scarlett nodded slightly and patted Melanie's hand. "Of course Melly." She replied with a fake smile. "You can stay for Christmas too." She forced cheer into her voice. "We'll have great fun."
Melanie nodded, tears in her eyes. "Be careful darling." She hugged Scarlett again. "If you need me, write to me. No matter what is happening."
Scarlett handed her bag to Prissy and kissed Melly's tear-stained cheek. "I'm sorry about leaving my trunk here."
"Don't worry dearest. We'll send it along in a few days." Melanie replied softly. "Just take care of yourself, and Amy."
"I will." Scarlett bit her lower lip and picked up Amy. "I'll write to you soon Melly."
"Good-by darling." Melanie smiled gently. "Take care."
"I will. Good-by." Scarlett took a deep breath and hurried out the door to catch the evening train.
Scarlett carried Amy in her arms the entire way, actually slapping Prissy when she tried to take her. "Touch my child again and I'll kill you." She said in a deathly quiet tone. Prissy jumped back, her eyes wide.
"Y-yas'm." She choked out, and wisely didn't say another word the rest of the trip.
Scarlett looked out over the sea of people crowding around the train station, hoping for news. These were not the still crowds of Atlanta, these- her lifelong friends-were pushing and shoving in attempt to get closer, to hear something. She knew the lists were coming in from Atlanta with her-and with that knowledge, realized no one at home knew about Stu. Carreen didn't know about Brent. Scarlett would have to tell her. Fresh tears sprung up behind her veil, and for once she was glad of the traditional heavy crepe widow's weeds.
From behind her she heard a small worried voice call her name and turned to see Carreen, giving her a queer look.
"It is you Scarlett!" She cried aloud. "What-what are you doing home?"
Scarlett laughed shortly. "I'd think it was rather obvious." She softened. "Have the lists come out yet?" She asked quietly. "They were on the train with me, I believe."
"They were?" Carreen's small face was anxious and for the first time Scarlett noticed her rounded stomach. "Oh Scarlett-tell me please, was Brent-"
Scarlett could only nod, overcome with her own pain. "I'm sorry Sissy." She said softly. "Stu-and Tom-too. And Raif, and Joe, and Lafe and...so many others." Carreen's eyes widened with each name and looked close to collapse. "For God's sake Sissy, don't faint!" Scarlett cried fiercely. "I can't stand it if you faint!"
"Carreen!" Scarlett nearly wept at the gentle voice, calling her sister. Ellen appeared on the platform, her skirts rustling softly. "Carreen my dear, you mustn't wander like that." She reprimanded softly. "I was worried."
"Mother!" The strangled cry burst from Scarlett and she fell into Ellen's arms. With shock Ellen looked down at her eldest daughter, in hysterical tears.
"Scarlett! My darling what's happened?" Ellen asked gently, leading her black-haired daughter to a bench along the platform. "My dear, has something happened to-"
Scarlett nodded wordlessly, looking up at her mother in childish knowledge that her mother could fix anything. She could find some way-some way to make it right.
"Oh my dear." Ellen held her gently. "My poor darling."
Carreen had followed them, moving numbly. She sat on Ellen's right side, staring into the crowds blankly.
Scarlett straightened and wiped her tears away. "See to Carreen." She said quietly, her emotions spent. "It will hit her in a moment."
Ellen turned her dark eyes to her youngest, her heart aching for her girls, as well as for Beatrice Tarleton. "Oh Carreen." She said softly. "Come now, let's get you girls home." Gently she led them to carriage and bid them sit inside, hoping to get Carreen safely to Tara before the news really struck her. "I'll find Mr. O'Hara." She said quietly, returning to the pushing crows with a rustle of stiff skirts.
Carreen smiled stiffly at Scarlett and looked down at Amy, who had followed them, clutching her mother's skirts. "She's-lovely." Carreen said chokingly. "Absolutely perfect." With equal recognition she noted Scarlett's obvious pregnancy. "I hope-I hope-" She couldn't finish the sentence, instead retreating to the corner of the carriage and sobbing into the soft lining.
Scarlett watched her, knowing she should offer comfort. But she found she had none, her heart was sore and drained of all feeling. So she looked away, and pulled Amy into her lap. She felt a curious sense of being lost, as if the world had been turned upside down and she had no way to right it. The way she had felt the day she realized she didn't love Ashley, as though she'd lost something sweet and beautiful, a reason for living.
In the back of her mind she dimly registered her parents entering the carriage and the drive to Tara, but the only person that garnered her full attention was Amy, when she woke up for a few moments during the trip. Scarlett absolutely refused to let her child out of her arms, and even when they arrived at Tara she carried the little girl into the house and up to her old bedroom.
As she looked around her childhood room, Scarlett felt no attachment, no comfort at being home as she had always felt at Tara. Amy climbed onto her large soft bed and returned to slumber, her eighteen-month-old mind undisturbed by her mother's torment.
There was a photograph on the dresser, of Scarlett's wedding day. Despite his grim expression, Stu looked happy. Her lungs suddenly seemed too small, she couldn't breathe properly. Quickly she put the picture frame face-down on the bureau, she would scream if she had to look at it a second longer. Oh, she wished she could cry, do anything to ease the iron fingers digging into her throat.
Her knees went weak and darkness claimed her.
"Write to me when...when your time comes." Melanie said gently, stepping back. "I promised Corp-I promised I'd stay with you."
Scarlett nodded slightly and patted Melanie's hand. "Of course Melly." She replied with a fake smile. "You can stay for Christmas too." She forced cheer into her voice. "We'll have great fun."
Melanie nodded, tears in her eyes. "Be careful darling." She hugged Scarlett again. "If you need me, write to me. No matter what is happening."
Scarlett handed her bag to Prissy and kissed Melly's tear-stained cheek. "I'm sorry about leaving my trunk here."
"Don't worry dearest. We'll send it along in a few days." Melanie replied softly. "Just take care of yourself, and Amy."
"I will." Scarlett bit her lower lip and picked up Amy. "I'll write to you soon Melly."
"Good-by darling." Melanie smiled gently. "Take care."
"I will. Good-by." Scarlett took a deep breath and hurried out the door to catch the evening train.
Scarlett carried Amy in her arms the entire way, actually slapping Prissy when she tried to take her. "Touch my child again and I'll kill you." She said in a deathly quiet tone. Prissy jumped back, her eyes wide.
"Y-yas'm." She choked out, and wisely didn't say another word the rest of the trip.
Scarlett looked out over the sea of people crowding around the train station, hoping for news. These were not the still crowds of Atlanta, these- her lifelong friends-were pushing and shoving in attempt to get closer, to hear something. She knew the lists were coming in from Atlanta with her-and with that knowledge, realized no one at home knew about Stu. Carreen didn't know about Brent. Scarlett would have to tell her. Fresh tears sprung up behind her veil, and for once she was glad of the traditional heavy crepe widow's weeds.
From behind her she heard a small worried voice call her name and turned to see Carreen, giving her a queer look.
"It is you Scarlett!" She cried aloud. "What-what are you doing home?"
Scarlett laughed shortly. "I'd think it was rather obvious." She softened. "Have the lists come out yet?" She asked quietly. "They were on the train with me, I believe."
"They were?" Carreen's small face was anxious and for the first time Scarlett noticed her rounded stomach. "Oh Scarlett-tell me please, was Brent-"
Scarlett could only nod, overcome with her own pain. "I'm sorry Sissy." She said softly. "Stu-and Tom-too. And Raif, and Joe, and Lafe and...so many others." Carreen's eyes widened with each name and looked close to collapse. "For God's sake Sissy, don't faint!" Scarlett cried fiercely. "I can't stand it if you faint!"
"Carreen!" Scarlett nearly wept at the gentle voice, calling her sister. Ellen appeared on the platform, her skirts rustling softly. "Carreen my dear, you mustn't wander like that." She reprimanded softly. "I was worried."
"Mother!" The strangled cry burst from Scarlett and she fell into Ellen's arms. With shock Ellen looked down at her eldest daughter, in hysterical tears.
"Scarlett! My darling what's happened?" Ellen asked gently, leading her black-haired daughter to a bench along the platform. "My dear, has something happened to-"
Scarlett nodded wordlessly, looking up at her mother in childish knowledge that her mother could fix anything. She could find some way-some way to make it right.
"Oh my dear." Ellen held her gently. "My poor darling."
Carreen had followed them, moving numbly. She sat on Ellen's right side, staring into the crowds blankly.
Scarlett straightened and wiped her tears away. "See to Carreen." She said quietly, her emotions spent. "It will hit her in a moment."
Ellen turned her dark eyes to her youngest, her heart aching for her girls, as well as for Beatrice Tarleton. "Oh Carreen." She said softly. "Come now, let's get you girls home." Gently she led them to carriage and bid them sit inside, hoping to get Carreen safely to Tara before the news really struck her. "I'll find Mr. O'Hara." She said quietly, returning to the pushing crows with a rustle of stiff skirts.
Carreen smiled stiffly at Scarlett and looked down at Amy, who had followed them, clutching her mother's skirts. "She's-lovely." Carreen said chokingly. "Absolutely perfect." With equal recognition she noted Scarlett's obvious pregnancy. "I hope-I hope-" She couldn't finish the sentence, instead retreating to the corner of the carriage and sobbing into the soft lining.
Scarlett watched her, knowing she should offer comfort. But she found she had none, her heart was sore and drained of all feeling. So she looked away, and pulled Amy into her lap. She felt a curious sense of being lost, as if the world had been turned upside down and she had no way to right it. The way she had felt the day she realized she didn't love Ashley, as though she'd lost something sweet and beautiful, a reason for living.
In the back of her mind she dimly registered her parents entering the carriage and the drive to Tara, but the only person that garnered her full attention was Amy, when she woke up for a few moments during the trip. Scarlett absolutely refused to let her child out of her arms, and even when they arrived at Tara she carried the little girl into the house and up to her old bedroom.
As she looked around her childhood room, Scarlett felt no attachment, no comfort at being home as she had always felt at Tara. Amy climbed onto her large soft bed and returned to slumber, her eighteen-month-old mind undisturbed by her mother's torment.
There was a photograph on the dresser, of Scarlett's wedding day. Despite his grim expression, Stu looked happy. Her lungs suddenly seemed too small, she couldn't breathe properly. Quickly she put the picture frame face-down on the bureau, she would scream if she had to look at it a second longer. Oh, she wished she could cry, do anything to ease the iron fingers digging into her throat.
Her knees went weak and darkness claimed her.