Chapter 5: Denial

My fragile physique was completely antithetical to my current state of mind. Whilst my body remained calm and restful on the cosy bed I was laying on, my mind raced desperately for apt answers. I pressured myself to recall the tiny bits of memory when I was in the starless forest.

Beatific thoughts of colourful butterflies.

Melodious tunes of the winds.

Slipped.

Fell.

Bled.

But wait-

A hand.

I remembered someone grasped my hand in a hurry.

My dark eyebrows knitted together spontaneously, a hint of confusion. I shut my delicate thin eyelids together briefly, concentrating every ounce of energy left in me to gather the lost memory of my anonymous hero.

Rough hands.

I was certain it was a man.

A young man perhaps.

But who would wander around during night time, especially in the macabre Northern Woods?

Well, who else.

I inhaled the cool air deeply, finally realising the identity of my mysterious saviour.

Natsume.

I sneered despicably at the thought of him.

Haven't I told him ages ago, to just get lost?

Why wouldn't he listen to what I said?

Death, was a much preferable option rather than to be rescued by that ruthless fool.

Oblivious to the staggering pain on my head, I pushed away the comforting mattress off me and prompted my legs into action. I was only a few steps to the door when suddenly-

"Where are you going Mikan?"

I spun around instantly, forgetting the fact that I wasn't in my own room after all.

"Hotaru, I-" I didn't even get to finish my sentence. I was interrupted by the sudden unrecognisable tone of Hotaru.

"What??" she snapped my sentence bitterly.

For the first time in my life, Hotaru raised her voice against me.

I stared at her blankly, unable to think of any suitable reply.

We kept ourselves silent as Hotaru's stern face gradually changed into her usual heartless expression.

Then, with her normal passionless tone of voice, Hotaru began speaking to me. However, her eyes remained fixated on the medicine she was preparing for me.

"Why, Mikan? Surprised? You think I've changed? You're thinking of how much I'm not your cold-hearted best friend anymore, aren't you? Well, ask yourself, because that is what I've been thinking of you for the past twelve miserable months,"

I gawped at this sudden unexpected question. My heart was beating fast and my head was spinning around wildly. I knew I would faint any moment then.

"And now, after all I did for you, you're not even going to thank me? Who are you?" she added sarcastically.

Speechless, I bent my head slightly to the ground, my brunette hair covering my shameful watery eyes. I knew that there was so much explanation to be done, but my mouth kept itself sealed, I couldn't possibly burden Hotaru with my own problems as it was bad enough that she had to deal with those greedy clients of hers.

Gomene, Hotaru.

I ignored her and ran hastily to the door. I was just about to pull the doorknob open when suddenly it opened magically in front of me.

"Nogi?"

I couldn't believe my eyes.

He was standing there before me, at this late hour of time.

"The animals…they saw you…in front of Hotaru's-" Ruka stopped at those words, shook his head as if he was talking to himself and did something thoroughly unexpected of him to do.

I shrieked in surprise as he suddenly pulled me into his arms and imprisoned my body close to him. My face laid flat on his wide chest, I could even listen to the faint beat of his heart. He stroked my hair gently like a young child; every touch clearly reflected how deep his affection towards me was.

He whispered softly into my ears then, "I was so worried, I thought you were…you might…"

Needless to say, I knew perfectly well what he intended to say. This serious kind of injury might have taken my life.

If only I hadn't been rescued by that someone.

Lost in thoughts, I gasped as he surprisingly tightened his strong arms around me; he cautiously placed his chin on my left shoulder then.

"Nogi-," my lips moved animatedly, letting out a small sigh slipped through my mouth as I urged myself to utter the valid truth.

You'll never stop trying, will you Ruka?

I've rejected you a thousand times but you'll never let me go.

Why?

"Nogi-san,"

"Ssshh," he cut me off. "Please don't say anything Mikan, just this once,"

No.

Why should I listen?

I don't even love you.

Thank goodness Hotaru stood right behind me. I couldn't bear to face her then.

Hence, without any further delay, I placed my hands on Ruka and pushed him off me as hard as I could. He stared at me in disbelief as I leisurely walked towards him with a cynical laughter.

"Get out Nogi,"

"Get out of my life,"

VVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Flashback #5

Location: Middle Branch Dormitory Building

Mikan's age: 15 years old, two weeks after Jii-chan's death

One…

Two…

Three…

Four….

Five…

"Five, right! Just five more questions and I'll be off to bed-"

Doink!
An enormous pink elephant just hit me hard on the face. I looked at the weird machine with a murderous glare. The pink elephant, an invention of Hotaru was designed to smack me down whenever I fall asleep during my study hours. However, this particular machine seemed to be over-reacting. Even the slightest bit of hint that I was about to sleep during my study period would take it into action.

"I was only 'talking' about going to bed you filthy monster-"

Doink!
Another blow, right on the nose.

"Do not sleep. Do not talk about sleep. Do not think about sleep. Do not read about sleep. Do not write about sleep. Do not-" and thus, the diabolical machine continued its do-not-everything-about-sleep list in a very robotic manner.

"Damn! I'll stop talking about sleep if you can just keep your mouth-"

Doink!

Another blow.

"Fine!" I shouted furiously at the machine.

Sheesh! I need a break from this beast.

I stomped my feet boomingly as I headed towards the door of my two-star bedroom, indicating the mere fact that I was exasperated by the pink elephant's bitter existence.

It was indeed true that the giant pink elephant, a gift from Hotaru on my12th birthday has helped me a lot in improving my grades. My studies strengthened as time past thus soon enough, I was ranked a two-star student. Finally, a rank that suited my growing age.

But for countless years, I convicted the idea of vaporising the displeasing machine, only to be stopped by the disturbing thought that it may destroy the wondrous friendship I held ever so dearly with Hotaru throughout my whole life.

I folded my arms in place I walked timidly in the dark hallway, my thoughts were still lost in a pool of ideas regarding on ways to terrorise the galling pink machine. The night was too quiet I noticed, my footsteps echoed noisily as I desperately headed towards my ultimate destination.

The kitchen.

Coffee relieves stress.

I swung the doors of the huge kitchen open gleefully, but my thoughts stopped dead as I witnessed two dark figures hiding cautiously in a corner of the vast area.

Two dark figures.

One of them was lying helplessly on the floor while the other stood still behind a huge empty cabinet, calmly preparing a counter attack whenever an ambush might strike.

"Wait!" I yelled gravely, "It's me, Mikan,"

Nothing could be heard then but silence, a kind of silence that makes your heart beats nervously in suspense.

"Sakura?" I heard a familiar voice yelled back.

I gawped unbelievingly.

That lovely voice again.

A young lady with alluring sea-green eyes appeared dimly from the darkness. Her long blonde hair was hidden neatly under a shiny black scarf, so beautifully shimmering in the glowering sombre night. My eyes were locked in the black outfit she was wearing, she was an icon of charm and elegance, I thought.

Mayumi hastily pulled my hand, aggressively trying to hide both of us back behind the empty cabinet.

"Wait, what-"

I felt a pang of anger rushed through my blood vessels as Mayumi slapped my mouth shut ragingly with her right hand. She signalled me to keep quiet then, thus continued watching the door of the huge kitchen patiently.

I stared at her confusingly, thoughts still full of questions.

"Mayumi-chan," I whispered softly, my body was still undoubtedly trembling in shock. "What can I do to help you? You seem to look……..tense,"

"Help?" she asked me ridiculously.

She added then, "Most people would prefer to just run and save their own lives in this sort of condition Mikan, but correct me if I'm wrong, you wish to help?"

I looked at her fixedly; my mind was more confused than ever. Was it a sin to help people when they are in need?

"You do have a kind hard Sakura," I heard her mutter slowly under her breath, "so that is why he kept his feelings just for you,"

He?

In a split second, I wondered whether I might have heard it wrong. I was only about to open my mouth for questions when suddenly, Mayumi interrupted me impetuously.

"You really want to help Mikan? Please go outside and examine the place. Since you're not one of us, that person can't possibly hurt you. Please, hurry,"

But then-

I shrieked in horror as I felt a hand grabbed my legs all of a sudden.

It couldn't be.

The person who was lying on the floor was-

Natsume?

"Natsume!" I rushed to his side and placed my right ear close to his lips. I struggled nervously to listen to his squeaky voice, it was then I realised that he was bleeding heavily.

"Stay," he mentioned heartily.

"Don't go,"

"But-" I tried to explain-

I felt Natsume reached my arm in surprise, he tightened his grip then. Despite the unbearable pain he was facing, Natsume repeated his words sharply.

"Stay,"

Oblivious to the tiny droplets of tears flowing through my cheeks, I took him in my arms hurriedly and slowly caressed his bony face. I hugged him tightly, solemnly wishing that he would be able to stand the pain a little longer.

Just a little longer, until everything ends.

"I won't go Natsume,"

"I'll never leave you,"

I could have sworn I saw a tiny smile appear on his admirable radiant face.

Suddenly-

"Sakura," I heard a soothing voice behind me.

Mayumi?

"Sakura Mikan, Natsume's my mission partner. I will take care of him,"

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Author's Note:

A zillion thanks to professional, Iysabelle, Rukaru-kun and Sherea for submitting reviews to my latest chapter, Melee.

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MellyFluous riding a horse, cowboy style. So glad that she finally finished her Chapter 5!!!