ch 3 The Test
"HEY PADFOOT," said an excited James "There's a letter on your head! No!, make that two letters, no three letters, no--"
Sirius and James yelling while the rest of the table was sleepy was a usual breakfast routine. People came to assumed it was because they drank lots of coffee in the morning. But Remus knew they were always just hyper or smashed or both.
"Uh, Prongs you don't need to shout, I'm sitting right next to you," said an annoyed Sirius.
"Soooooo, lets open them," said James throwing a letter at Sirius.
"Okay Prongs," said Sirius "Don't wet yourself!"
"It reads," said Sirius opening the letter that James threw in his cereal. "To the dearest Sex God Sirius," read Sirius grinning "you are Hogwarts number one hottie and what you did last night was utterly amazing! That James sitting next to you is the mostest hideous thing--"
"HEY!," said James "Give me that letter, I need to burn it up, flush it down the toilet and--."
"I don't think that's possible Prongs," said Remus " You can't--"
Mean while James tried to snatch the letter out of Sirius hand.
"HEY! you prat it does not say that!," said James grabbing the letter" It says Dear Marauders, NOT--"
"To the dearest Sex God Sirius," suggested Sirius grinning.
"NOOOOOOO," you perverted sicko!!!," said James.
"Look who's talking," said Sirius.
"What is that suppose to mean," said James.
"We all know you have the mostest--"
"That's not a word Padfoot," interrupted Remus.
"You know he's more perverted then me," said Sirius confidently.
"I wouldn't be so sure!" said James.
"Ok you two!" said Remus "I'm going to give you two the "Are you Perverted Test."
"Who thought of that name," said James "It's lame."
"It should be called," said Sirius "Have you been having--"
"Sickos," said Remus interrupting.
"I was just saying," said Sirius "Have you been having a wonderful time in--"
" i Bed /i ," said James.
Both James and Sirius started sniggering.
"You guys are going to get like--," said Remus.
"Oh my god!," said Sirius "Moony said like!, he's turning into a valley girl."
"Ahhhhhh!," said James "Get him away from me!"
"He needs to be taken to St. Mungo's!," said Sirius in a fake terror voice.
"QUICK, Prongs," said Sirius "conger up a stretchercher!, Call 1-800-MY-FRIENDS-TURNING-INTO-A-VALLEY-GIRL!
"GET THE PHONE quick Wormtail" said Sirus!
"He's to wrapped up in eating Padfoot!, " said James "We're going to die!"
"You stupid dolts!," said Remus "Put me down or you woun't like--"
Both Sirius and James cringed.
"--get to take the "Are You Perverted Test" if you ship me off to St. Mungos!"
"Ok," said both said Sirius "I know I'm going to get a better score then Prongs here."
"Uh," said Remus "You don't want to get a high score, the higher the score the more--".
"We get it," said James "Lets begin!"
"Well first number your parchment from one to nine," said Remus.
"How is numbering your paper from one to nine a dirty thought," said James.
"This is not the test," said Remus "you dumb as--"
"Do you need to take this test Moony?," said Sirius grinning.
"Oh shit!," said Remus looking at his watch "We--"
"Moony definitely has to take the test," said Sirius to James.
"--We are suppose to be in Professor Slughorn's class in three minutes!" said Remus.
"Hey wake up!," said Sirius to Ben who had dozed off with his head currently in his breakfast.
They had all been kept up late last night because Remus had tried to make them cram in an all nighter for their potions test which James and Sirius just turned into a party. And Ben who was not used to studying late or partying needed more sleep then the others.
"Whack him with your bat Padfoot!," said James.
"You carry your beater bat with you?" said Remus "I'm not going to ask!"
Sirius whacked Ben on the head with the bat.
"What the!," said Ben sleepily.
"We have to be in Slughorn's class in three, I mean two minutes," said Remus.
"Holy shit!," said Ben.
"He needs to take the test to," said Sirius grinning.
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