A/N: Heh. Toph in Wonderland. You thought you knew Alice in Wonderland? Well welcome to my version.
Summary: Toph goes to Wonderland.
Pairings: AzulaXToph, Smoph, Taang, Tophshot, Toko, Smellershot, Ty Lokka, IrohXUrsa and Zutara.
Warnings: Femmslash, my perverted brain, and Zuko OOC like whoa.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the plot, but I did rewrite most of the actual Alice in Wonderland thing… with help from Frank Beddor, who wrote the very wonderful Looking Glass Wars.
L I N E B R E A K
"Princess… Princess Toph?" Katara's soft voice said.
Toph opened her eyes, still not used to the fact they worked. "Morning Katara…"
"It's time to start your mate search…"
"M-Mate search?" Toph asked.
"Well… you are almost on the thrown, you'll be needing someone to marry when you're sixteen…" Katara replied, "and besides, I'll be taking one of them after this whole ordeal is over with."
Toph thought for a moment, digesting what Katara just told her.
Katara helped her up, and Toph dusted herself off. Katara opened the flap of the tent for her and she stepped out into the blackness of her suffering home. "Morning Princess!" Smellerbee shouted, taking her hand.
"We decided she was first, then me, and Zuko and Aang tomorrow," Longshot told her, smiling.
Toph blushed, "And whoever I don't pick has to go with Katara and the last two have to go with each other?"
Katara nodded, "Damn straight."
Smellerbee grabbed Toph's hand, "Come on, Princess!"
L I N E B R E A K
"Ummm… can I take the blindfold off?" Toph asked, once more engulfed in black. The cloth was itchy and slightly unnerving seeing how Toph had been with sight for over 18 hours by now and was quite used to it.
"Okay… now you can…" Smellerbee told her.
Toph untied the knot at the back of her head and took off the blindfold. Smellerbee quickly kissed her on the mouth.
"Ummm…?" Toph asked, blushing.
"Sorry… you're so cute when you're irritated!" Smellerbee replied, giggling.
Toph shook it off and looked around her. They were in a giant garden of… well… giant flowers. The flowers were yawning or stretching, or often both. Smellerbee was laying out a picnic.
"Oh! Look, two lovely ladies out for a picnic!" one tiger lily said.
"Oh, Tiger Lily, don't you remember Princess Toph? Next in line for the Queen of Hearts?" Smellerbee asked.
"Oh! She's back! And she's got cleavage coming in!" another perennial said.
Toph covered her chest self-consciously and sat on the edge of the blanket.
Smellerbee sighed, "It hasn't been the same since Ty Lee and Mai were enlisted to Azula…"
Toph looked at her, "Ty Lee and Mai were part of the garden?"
"Don't you remember?" Smellerbee asked.
"I'm afraid not," Toph replied.
"Well, Mai was originally a rose, and Ty Lee was originally a pansy… but when they were humanized 13 years ago… the time you were exiled, this place… sort of changed…"
13 years? I must've been reborn into Toph Bei Fong back in the Earth Kingdom… Toph thought.
"But enough sad stuff, breakfast?" Smellerbee asked, holding up something that smelled like fried eggs and bacon, but looked like… pancakes?
"What are these?" Toph asked.
"Heartcakes! Your favorite… I thought…" Smellerbee replied.
Toph took a bite. It had a strange taste to it, but it was good. Much like pancakes, eggs and bacon all wrapped into one. Smellerbee was eating nuts and fruit.
Duh… she's a rabbit… Toph thought, her eyes darting to Smellerbee's ears and then her tail.
Smellerbee giggled, "Catching me off-guard, hmm?"
Toph's eyes widened, "Sorry…" she replied, blushing and turning away from the rabbit girl.
Smellerbee laughed again.
"Oooh… I think I know what's going on!" a primrose said, "Smellerbee's crushing on the Princess!"
Smellerbee stood up and threw a hand over the primrose's mouth, "HUSH!!!"
"Oh… that's okay… I knew that already…" Toph said…
"Awww… but Smellerbee's shy!" Tiger Lily shouted, punching Smellerbee's arm.
Toph finished her food and stood up.
"Oh, you've ruined it, guys!" Smellerbee shouted, glaring at Primrose and Tiger Lily. The other flowers booed at the two flowers, who cowered in their beds.
Toph walked over to Smellerbee and took both her hands, looking into her eyes.
"Aww…" some of the flowers cooed.
"Kiss her! Do it! Do it!" others shouted.
Toph smiled and leaned in, softly kissing the rabbit girl on the mouth. Smellerbee's cheeks turned an astonishing shade of red, and Toph's were a slight pink color.
"Oh my god… I'm gonna have good dreams tonight!" Tiger Lily shouted.
The two girls broke apart, "I'm having fun," Toph replied, "What else do you have planned?"
"Ummm… let's…. uhhh… improvise!" Smellerbee shouted.
L I N E B R E A K
Smellerbee and Toph returned to the campsite for a lunch of potatoes and butter (bugs on Aang's part, nuts and fruits for Zuko, Katara, and Smellerbee, and his pipe for Sokka). After lying on the dark grass, Longshot helped Toph up and led her into a dark forest, down a winding path, and to a quaint little house.
"Aww… it's your house!" Toph shouted gleefully.
"I'm glad you at least remember this place," Longshot replied, smiling.
"Smellerbee, Katara and you lived here, right?" Toph asked.
"Yeah, I guess. I left this in the care of Katara and Smellerbee when you were born," Longshot said, smiling down at the young Princess.
"Aww… I missed this place," Toph said, remembering Longshot taking her here when she was five or so.
Longshot smiled and clapped his gloved hands and a tablecloth appeared over the outdoor table, laden with teapots, toast, butter and jam.
"We just had lunch!" Toph cried, clapping her hands over her mouth in surprise.
"Well… we'll just have the tea first… " Longshot replied, pulling out a chair. Toph sat down and Longshot pulled up a seat for himself.
"Can I wear your hat?" Toph giggled.
Longshot smiled and handed her the top hat. She put it on and grinned. Longshot laughed out loud.
"I'm sorry… but you look ridiculous!" Longshot said through fits of chuckles.
"Nonsense, Longshot, I look very handsome," Toph said, looking at herself in the back of a spoon.
Longshot quietly chuckled some more as he poured her some tea from a yellow teapot.
"So… what was it like… when my parents were alive?" Toph asked, suddenly getting serious.
Longshot crossed himself, "Well… the sun shined back then," he replied, gesturing to the darkened sky.
"Oh, good," Toph replied, willing herself to smile.
"Your parents were good people, Toph," Longshot told her, reaching for her hand, "It's a shame you don't remember them."
"I'm trying," Toph said, blinking back tears.
"You father was a friendly fellow. He loved our tea very much, and would come here almost every day. He even took you and me a couple times after your birth, before the accident…"
"What?" Toph asked, looking again into Longshot's onyx eyes.
"Azula shot him with her blue lightening when she got angry and wounded him. He was paralyzed from the waist down. So I took you down here to visit Katara and Smellerbee."
Toph's eyes widened, "Is that why Zuko stopped liking her?"
"Oh, please, those two spat like a married couple ever since she was born!" Longshot said, smiling, "Your mother had to take them by the ears and scold them many times."
"What was Mother like?" Toph asked.
"She was a goddess if I ever saw one… she was strong, beautiful, and loved your father and you very much," Longshot said, his eyes glazing over with nostalgia.
Toph wove her fingers in with Longshot's, bringing him back to the present, "She loved you so much, Princess, that when she died, her spirit stayed with you until you left for that… other world…"
"Is she still here?" Toph asked, looking around.
Longshot shook his head, "No… she left to go through another life cycle, as did you. Instead, Katara, Smellerbee and I tried to bring you back here, trying to find you and bring you back… then Sokka and Ty Lee joined, convinced you were going to come back and restore Wonderland back to it's rightful state. Lastly, Zuko joined after Azula banished him from the palace, though that's a likely story."
"You don't like Zuko, do you?" Toph asked.
"Not really… he IS Azula's sister, after all. He could turn on us anytime…" Longshot replied.
"But he's stayed here, hasn't he? And nothing weird has happened yet…"
"Yet is our key word, dear."
Toph finished her tea and set the cup down.
"Bread and jam?" Longshot asked, offering her the food.
She nodded and spread the jam herself on the bread, "So… how did you and Smellerbee meet?"
Longshot thought for a moment, then laughed, "It was in summer, about nine years before you were born. I was on my way to say hello to Ursa, er, your mother, and your father. We were all so very young then, and Smellerbee accidentally bumped right into me. We got to talking, and we found that we both enjoyed a lot of the same things. I totally forgot about my visit to your father and mother, so I asked Smellerbee to live with me!"
Toph smiled, They… they belong together…
Longshot didn't hear her thought, for he continued with his story, "Katara was actually Ursa's pet mouse, until she accidentally charmed the poor mouse into a human. Those kind of charms always become permanent after three hours with it on, but of course, six-year-old Ursa didn't know that. Smellerbee offered to care for her until Katara grew up, but we all became so attached to her…"
Toph smiled, hearing about her real mother and father was unnerving, but she felt closer to her own lands now. She stood up, and Longshot followed suit, "Your right, we should be getting back soon." Longshot started, he turned to go but Toph caught his hands before tip-toeing up to kiss him.
His eyes widened and he blushed a deep shade of red, much like Smellerbee. Toph was, again, a little pink around her cheeks.
They broke apart, Longshot quickly looking away from the Princess. Toph giggled and placed his hat back on his head. He fixed it and continued blushing.
Toph took his hand and pulled him down the little path.
"Oh! Wait!" Longshot cried, turning back to the little house. He clapped his hands and the tablecloth and tea things disappeared.
Toph smiled and they continued back to the campsite.
L I N E B R E A K
Toph smiled as she lay on her pile of blankets and pillows. She was so much closer to finding a mate and becoming the rightful Queen of Hearts. Ty Lee would be back in about two days to pick up the reservations and drop off the disguises, and then they would all start the journey to the palace, where they would get rooms and go to the ball, and Toph would confront Azula and…
Toph fell into a deep, dreamless, sleep.
A/N:
Zuko: I still can't believe your making all of us fight over Toph…
Toph-sama: Sorry… I had to! I am a fan of TophXEveryone except Sokka! (All except Sokka faint)
Sokka: That's okay!
Toph-sama: But I also ship SokkaXEveryone except Toph!
(Sokka joins everybody else on the floor)
Toph-sama: Heh… Heart breaker Toph and Pansy Ty Lee!
Ty Lee: I AM NOT GAY!
Toph-sama: (grins) When did you wake up?
Ty Lee: …
Toph-sama: Mai Ty.
(Ty Lee faints again)
Toph Monster