Hooray for reviews. Thank you all kindly :hugs: 'member if ya review, I'll get back and answer questions and comments.

Epona: Hmm…now that you say Ryou and Kura should be together, I'll have to think about it. Lol, kiddin'. You'll have to read to the end and find out. BTW, did you get Epona from the Legend of Zelda games? Just curious, hehe..

Landi McClellan: Hooscow…hehe. So Ryou'll end up with Yami then switch to Kura, eh? I'm assuming that you like RxY then? Maybe, possibly, perhaps? …you know what they say about assuming though...oye. I'll tell ya a little secret, it's not exactly 'Yami'. I'll leave the pondering to you. Thanks for readin'!

Seto'sWifey: …you're as inquisitive as your husband, I swear! Sorry my answer didn't make sense. It's hard to explain. Ry can't tell if he's happy or mad at Malik right now. Short and sweet. For some reason, I think that you're going to be the angriest with me. But I could be wrong. We'll see. :wink: (wait till...chapter...9 or 10 and you'll have your answer can't spoil that part)

And so ends our…our? MY thanks to everyone who has reviewed and read it and not reviewed for some strange reason. Whatever. Here is the next chapter while I listen to the Back Street Boys… Speaking of BSB, don't listen to them then read this story. Words of advice.

8. Ryou, I Love you do you Love me?

(Bakura's POV)

It's only been two days since I was sentenced here. The officers ignore me from time to time, except for when I sit and do nothing. It's always, 'What are you up to Bakura?' or 'you're still in there, right?' Yea, they're all riots in here… I sigh and lay back on my cot.

"…I miss you Ry. Sometimes I wish that I never laid a finger on you. Other times it was worth feeling your touch," I mutter as I grip my pillow.

If only Ryou could come and talk with me then this place wouldn't seem all that bad. But it's the fact that he can't come while I'm in here, or while I'm out. Our love doesn't matter to them. They're against me. They only want to ruin our relationship.

"You had a relationship with that boy? You should just let him go. There is no hope left for you."

I jump up and look across the hall. I'm immediately shocked to see the girl standing there. She hung on the bar as if she were trying to be seductive or like she was extremely tired.

"Sorry, I'm not letting him go. We've come too far in this time to stop now," I growl. Who does she think she is telling me all of this?

The woman sighs and adjusts her purple top, "Look take it from me; relationships aren't worth the pain."

"This one is!" I retort instantly. I grab onto the bars and growl, awaiting her answer. When I pulled myse;f up to the bars, her face was only inches away from mine.

All I got was a laugh in return. She was laughing at me then popped her gum, "I like you. You're cute, strong and witty."

Ha, I had her now. "I'm gay," I state after a second, "not bisexual."

She stops instantly with her purple eyes staring into mine. While she drilled into my deep brown pools, she popped her gum again. "Didn't you hear me the first time? I said 'boy' not girl. You might be strong cute and witty, but you're definitely no smarter than a brick." She leans away from the bars with a disgusted look.

I was taken aback. Ryou was pretty but he had nothing compared to a girl. I guess I shouldn't call people stupid when they can actually back themselves up. But before I could answer something smashed my knuckles that were gripping onto the bars.

The painful smash on my fingers made me rip away from the door. I first looked up to see an officer standing there looking rather satisfied. In his hands he held a nightstick. I looked back down at my now swollen hands. The knuckles that he hit had the skin over them busted. They began bleeding slightly.

"Now you know how that boy you beat felt!" The officer taunted.

My breathing picked up as I glared daggers at the officer. I clenched a fist with my upper lip twitching in anger. I didn't move until he was gone from the hall but before he left he said, "Miss Valentine, please keep an eye on Mr. Makoto."

I glanced up and see her blow a kiss and wink at the retreating man. Her purple eyes were glinting with power.

Once the pain faded slightly, I stood and sat on the cot. I clutched the pillow in buried my head in it. It was frivolous to try or get angry. I was stuck here. The officer and 'Miss Valentine' were right. Ryou wasn't going to wait for me…he and Malik probably teamed up to get rid of me. I guess I really disserve this.

"Oh Ryou, let me know that you'll be waiting for me…don't let them be right..."

(Normal POV)

"I, I stand, not crawling, not falling down. I, I'll beat, the demons that drag me down!" blared out of the speakers causing Ry to leap up. Narrowed green eyes glared daggers into the alarm clock. The small black box didn't let up on the volume or the song. Ryou grabbed it immediately and searched for the volume control or the off button.

The music was cut about five seconds after beginning. Ryou slowly walked out of the room and left the, now unplugged, clock on the floor.

He lazily treaded down the wooden stairs and realized what time it was. The microwave clock flashed 9:38 in bold green symbols. He would've checked it upstairs, but it didn't cross his mind until after the fact he had unplugged it. Ryou stood in the middle of the kitchen and raised his arms up in attempt to stretch. The effort was worth it. He hadn't stretched in a long time. All the time spent recuperating in the hospital probably was the best thing his body had in a long time. Other than the fact that Bakura could just look at him and Ryou would shiver.

Feeling much better, he looked over towards the window where a light snow fall was occurring outside. Suddenly it struck Ryou; Christmas was less then a month away. A chill ran down the boy's spine when the thought of last year's Christmas. Shaking his head, Ry spins around to head upstairs but he catches a glimpse of the fire place. Right then all the horrid X-mas memories came back

Flashback

It had been about a year since Ryou had moved in with Kura. Both were used to the other being around but they hadn't ever shared a holiday before. Except for when Ryou first entered the scene. Bakura had been gone on Christmas Day with some of the men he worked with.

Sure there was always Valentines Day, New Years, and let's not bring up Halloween. Halloween was not exactly something Ryou wanted to remember. But this was Christmas. It was the time of the year when everyone got together with whom they loved most and thanked the Lord they had still had each other—well it was supposed to be.

The young teen sat on the couch not bothering to move. The heater had busted and no one would come out to fix it because it was a holiday. Well it might have been a great time for others but the two men weren't exactly having a good time.

Another chill ran down Ry's spine for the umpteenth time. That's when Bakura had noticed it. A sympathetic grin appeared as he sat next to Ryou.

"Cold are we?" Kura asked smiling sweetly.

Ryou pulled the covers tighter and stared into the older boy's brown, shining eyes.

Kura sighed and pulled the blanket off the teen to reveal all the goose bumps covering most of the thin body.

"You know Ry, that fireplace over there does work. Would you like me to light it for you?" Bakura's voice asked. The innocent sound disappeared as he finished.

Blinking his jade orbs, Ryou shook his head; another chill coursing down his back.

"Don't be so naïve," he scolded as he stood.

Not long after Bakura played with a match and the burnt wood, a flame sparked. The small blaze grew into a larger inferno. The brown-eyed boy spun around looking not satisfied quite yet. A subliminal meaning was held in the angry looking eyes.

"Thank you Bakura," Ryou shivered. He had rewrapped himself in the blanket Bakura had taken.

"You can't feel the heat if you sit on the other side of the room. Come over here by me. It feels nice," Kura murmured seductively.

Ryou wasn't really in the mood to get beaten and dragged to the spot so he calmly stood up. Pulling the blanket around him again, he walked over to towards the fire; he was expecting anything to happen. Kura smiled and held onto Ryou's shoulders.

'Something's wrong here,' Ryou thought silently.

But before anything could be exchanged, Bakura leaned over the fire. Ryou looked over his shoulder to see Kura's hand grazing over the red-hot ashes.

Ryou turned to leave but Kura grabbed the boy and ripped the blanket away. Only with a T-shirt and jeans on, Ryou tried to pull away.

"You're cold, don't resist!" Kura says trying to hold the squirming boy in place. But when Ry won't stop moving Kura growls and releases his plan.

Grabbing a fistful of ashes, he dashes after Ryou before pouncing on him. Holding both flailing fists up with one hand; the other hand full of burning wood, Kura grinned. Suddenly the red chips were pressed into Ryou's chest.

End

Tears filled Ryou's eyes as the recollected the past Christmas. He knew that nothing would happen to him this though; unsure to think of it as a good or bad thing. Ry pulled on his long white hair and fell to his knees.

'It's so unfair. Bakura why couldn't you have just told me all of these secrets? I never would've hated you,' Ryou thought knowing nothing would change.

Suddenly the microwave beeped signaling the arrival of 10 o' clock. The distressed teen crawled to his feet shakily. It was kind of embarrassing to him that he would be sniffling over something he could never have.

'Bakura is in jail Ryou. Grow up! Besides, when he gets out, he can't come near you anyways. He's got a restraining order against him.' The truth spoke fluently though the small voice in the back of Ry's head. All of the words said were true; he just didn't want to believe them. But maybe Ryou just needed someone to talk to.

Agreeing with himself to talk to someone, Ryou first wanted a shower. The teen spun around and headed up the stairs towards the bathroom.

When the large wooden door was open a cool temperature met the teen. Ryou stepped in and closed the door behind him. He leaned up against the sink and grabbed the cold water handle. Giving it a good twist, cool water ran out of the faucet. Ryou cupped his hands together and splashed the refreshing liquid onto his burning face. It felt so good.

Although he had to resist another cool down, the boy realized that the shower would be much more worth it. His green eyes shifted to the right to see the white tub that had a light blue curtain hanging over it. The constant dripping of the bath made it all the more desirable.

Slowly removing his shirt, Ryou shivered when the cool air breathed on his pale skin. Next came off his jeans. Though they were full of ratted holes and faded, the pants remained as Ry's favorite pair. Once the light denim pooled at his feet, Ryou used his toes to remove his socks. Slipping his left big toe into the cuff of the right sock, he curled his toes and pulled it off. He repeated the process with his right foot.

All that was left covering Ryou's body was his boxers. The red plaid cloth covered only the area around his hips but left the rest of his body uncovered and open. Many scars became visible. But Ryou didn't seem to notice, for he was used to them.

Leaning over the pallid wash basin, Ryou grabbed hold of the silver handle. In the center of the 'easy grip' knob was a red 'H'; giving it a good twist towards himself to force the water out. Steam filled the tiny room. Ryou felt the tap water, making sure it was hot enough. Once the temperature was good he pulled up on the tiny lever that stopped the running faucet and forced the hot water out of the shower head. Slipping his thumbs around the elastic part of his boxers, Ryou quickly pulled them down and off his body. His body wasn't exactly giddy about losing all warmth provided by his shorts. Ryou shivered once more before hopping into the shower.

The hot water hit is body and ran along every crevice of it. Ryou groaned to the nice feel of the water and put his head under the shower head. His whitish hair grew darker to a gray color. The teen soon ran some coconut scented shampoo through the long mane. The suds came and went quite easily. The bubbles trailing down his figure tickled the sensitive flesh. Next Ry squirted a creamy goop into his hands. It too, was scented coconut. Rubbing his hands together for a brief moment, he followed up his arms, to his shoulders, and to his chest. White soapy bubbles coated his pale body.

Steam stopped spreading around the bathroom as the water lost more and more heat. The boy growled at the temperature loss but glanced out from behind to read the wall clock. The second hand made its way around while the hour remained halfway between 10 and 11. Unlike the minute hand that was fastened around the 7 and 8; 10:43. Ryou got in the shower 40 minutes ago.

With a groan, the teen rinsed off his body and flicked off the water. Stepping out of the tub he reached over for a navy towel. Water dripped off his wet body and hit the floor. Pulling the body towel around his waist he gently tucked it together to make a slight knot to hold it up. His clothes were still sitting at his feet. With a sigh he bent over to grab them. After tossing them down the laundry shoot, he turned around to go to his room to get dressed.

As he came down the steps with a towel attempting to dry out his hair the doorbell rang. He rubbed the cloth through his drenched locks and walked over to the door. When he opened it he found Yami standing there. The taller teen's eyes were focused on the surprised emerald ones.

"Hey Yami. Come in," Ryou welcomed.

"Hey Ryou. Thanks, but I have to talk to you," He confesses, his gaze falling to the floor. "I got worried when you didn't answer the phone."

"What's that?" Ryou asked as he shut the door gently.

Yami sat on the arm of the couch with a sigh. Ry grabbed a kitchen chair and set it down next to him. When he took his seat Yami looked up. "I wanted to apologize for the way I was acting at the court house. I was just hurt and confused about why you would've picked this life, instead of one with me. I kind of see why you picked it though. You and Bakura have lived together for two years. You always felt like this for him, whether he didn't like you, right? And I'm sorry that I tried to change feelings that are that old and strong," the whole apology fell out of his pink lips.

Ryou, although happy about hearing these words, still had a small frown on his face. The fluttery butterflies in his empty stomach were beginning to tie a huge knot.

"Yami, that's a very nice gesture, but I don't think Kura and I will be together for the rest of our lives. I would die if I could stay with him forever, but I don't think it'll happen."

"Why not? Doesn't he love you? I seen how he was in the building," he exclaims.

"Yes he loves me, but the judge filed that damned restraining order against him. He can't come within two hundred feet of me. Besides, it's a seven year term he's in there Yami. It's like they're punishing me for his crimes! Bakura is probably as happy as he was when he beat me! I'm the one who didn't want him to go Yami. He always told me…that I'd never mean anything to him. I never believed him, now I'm not agreeing with myself," Ryou sobbed.

"Oh Ry, please calm down. I don't think that's how Bakura feels at all. I saw him holding you. He was scared of losing you. Just like you were of losing him. Ry you can't—"

"Who says that I was scared of losing him? How do you know that I wasn't scared of losing everything I knew? Yami, he held the only life I'd ever seen! I never loved Bakura! I only loved the life he gave me. And now it's gone, everything I knew is gone!"

"You don't mean that…" Yami's eyes stared at Ryou in disbelief. He watched the angry teen swallow and answer in an unexpected motion.

"I do. I mean that. Bakura was the keeper of my life and now that he's gone, I'm free," Ryou stated with a satisfied smile.

"But you told me you loved him!" Yami shouted.

"I did Yami! The only reason was because he was the only life I knew! I knew nothing other than the orphanage! Now I can find a new love for myself. Get the hell out of my house! You don't know who I am and what I'm looking for!" Ryou retorted quite loudly.

Yami's tense muscles went limp. He was hurt by the comment. Ryou had always told him about what he needed. Never had they spoke to each other like this. Yami was hurt and confused once again. But this time he was going to apologize for it. He sighed sadly and walked towards the door. Grabbing the handle he pulled open the white door.

Snow whirled around the enclosed porch. All the rain from the other night had frozen over. But Yami didn't care, he had to leave. As he stepped out of the house he spun around to see Ryou.

"I know who you are. You're name is Ryou Haruki. Your one and only desire is to return to the arms of the one you love. But now…you'd be right. I don't think you're Ryou Haruki. You're more like a Bakura Makoto. A selfish jerk who only wants to hurt people. You can be whatever you want. But you'll never change who you are. I just hope you make the right choice," Yami told the once known boy in the living room.

After the short hurting speech Yami turned tail and walked out into the blizzard. Once the door closed Ryou fell to his knees.

"He's right. I'm turning into Bakura," Ryou cried angrily. Suddenly the phone rang. The distressed teen stood up and picked up the receiver. "Hello?" Ry asked timidly trying to hide his crying.

"Hey Ry! It's Malik. I was wondering if you wanted to go out to eat…Ryou what's the matter?" Malik asked when Ryou sniffed.

"Oh, its nothing. I'd love to go out and eat…just could you get here soon? I have to talk to you," the boy announced his voice cracking.

"You don't want to talk to me now?" the blonde inquired.

"No…Just hurry up okay?" Ryou requested then instantly ended the call.

About 15 minutes later, Malik walked n the front door. There was no sign of Ryou anywhere. But a moan and a sniff came from the couch. Malik approached the sofa and found Ryou laying there mumbling to himself silently.

"Ry," Malik began when he touched the boy's shoulder.

Green eyes shifted up to meet Malik's lilac ones.

"Oh, it's you," Ryou whispered. He didn't stare at Malik; he merely flicked his eyes upwards and then back down to the floor. His voice echoed gently off the witnessing furniture. He raised a shaky hand to touch the blonde's cheek bone. His cold fingers caressed the pinked flesh. His cheeks were red from the blustering wind outside and the slight blush tingeing over.

"Ryou, give me the knife," Malik requested when the black handle became visible.

The snow haired boy was dragging the blade across the floor to hear the soft metallic ping. There were signs of him doing it to the couch earlier. Some of the threads were cut and frayed.

"I wasn't going to hurt anyone or myself. It was Bakura's. He used this knife against me so many times. The police didn't find it. It was hidden in my room. I stole it from Bakura. I didn't want to be hurt again. So he found a new knife. How could I have been so stupid and forget about the knife drawer?" Ryou exclaimed stabbing the knife into the side of the couch.

Quickly sitting next to the sobbing boy, Malik holds him in his arms. "Calm down! It'll be alright. Bakura can't hurt you now. He never will again!" He tried to reason.

"Oh Malik! I'm sorry. I yelled at Yami earlier and I'm so upset," the boy wept.

Malik asked for the story of what happened and let Ryou tell his tale of moments ago. After 30 minutes of yelling, crying, and comforting, the two boys sat on the couch in each other's arms.

"Are you alright now?" Malik asked his eyes closed as he held onto Ryou. The white haired teen didn't answer but nodded. "Do you still love Bakura?"

"I don't think I ever did. I just felt like I did because of the life he gave me. He accepted me unlike everyone else. That's all," He answered calmly. "If what he did to me…you can even consider 'accepting'…"

Malik hugged the boy closer, "You know Ry, Bakura won't be coming back. He'll be stuck in that prison for a long while. Once that's over he can't come near you. Ryou I don't want to force the truth on you but Bakura isn't worth waiting for."

The teen sighed and cuddled against Malik. His body was shaken for all crying and stress. But he too, realized that he couldn't wait for Bakura. It just wasn't going to happen. But…Kura told him he loved him. Could Ryou really shove that out of his mind? Was he only saying this to fool himself into mimicking that he wasn't scared?

"I understand Malik. Thanks for the advice. Let me go wash up and we can get going."

It took a few reluctant moments to let go but they untangled their arms. Ryou stood and walked up the stairs to the bathroom to wash his tear stained face

Oh snap…did you se that coming? …me either. The key word in that last part was R-E-L-U-C-T-A-N-T. Insert gasp here. Well, well. Whatcha all thinking? …are you mad? Sorry…

Hmm…what do you guys…girls, think about Mai entering the scene? How she gunna intervene with Bakura's life? And Malik…what's going on in his mind. (After all, Kura IS his BFF.) Let me hear ya own words on what's going to happen next. MUA! 'till next time!