Chapter Twelve

Happy Birthday Harry

The street was empty as if some recent event had frightened people away. It felt like there was a leftover residue of morbid excitement, fear and chaos. However, it looked undisturbed. The streets were free of debris but also empty of people. People were not walking their dogs or talking to neighbors over fences, sitting in the summer evening on their stairs and watching the world go by. Traffic was non-existent and even the park nearby was empty of laughing children and young mothers.

Harry strolled cautiously up the avenue, pulling his wizard's robes off and stuffing them into his bag. He knew he didn't have the skill to change his boots to runners or his black under robe to jeans and a tee shirt. He looked a little like a young Jesuit priest with the fitted robe that dropped out like a skirt and down to his knee. The black trousers that went to his ankles looked out of place in the heat of midsummer. He also realized how uncomfortable the clothes now were in the hot sun. He watched the houses that camouflaged Number Twelve for a few minutes and then crossed the street.

If I'm going to do it; it's best done now, he thought. His fingers were crossed hoping desperately that nothing had changed about the spell which made the house appear. And sure enough, the gauzy waviness appeared as he concentrated and then the solid foundation of stone and brick. It was there before him and he hurried up the stairs and into the house and closed the doors quickly. There had been nothing to stop him. All of the charms had been removed from the door.

He turned at the door and let out a gasp. Snape was sitting on the stairs calmly studying his nails. He was about to say something when the man looked up and placed an index finger to his lips and pointed at Mrs. Black's portrait hidden behind the black curtains on the wall.

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and then followed Harry down the hall to the sitting room. It was in terrible disarray and spoke of a number of people having been in the room and a great fight having taken place. Harry glanced at the mantle and was relieved to see the statute there; the transfigured Horcrux.

"Now, Mr. Potter," The voice was back to its old familiar growl. "I WILL save your life in spite of your efforts to throw it away. I will repeat. Do not use magic unless your life is threatened. I was the one who removed the charms from the door and emptied the street."

Harry responded in anger. "Then take me to Azkaban. I have no life at all if my friends are killed."

"In good time," Snape said, his dark eyes narrowed in fury.

"Does that mean you will take me there?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Snape said and nodded in resignation. "At my discretion. You have to learn not to build your nest in the top of trees, Potter. You invite more troubles then you can hope to manage if you go off without seriously considering a plan of action." He turned away and studied the table that had held the documents Hermione had mulled over. Most of what had been there was gone and what was left was burned to a crisp or scattered throughout the room. "Learn to rein yourself in; learn some self-discipline," Snape continued with little interest reflected in his voice. He appeared to be more concerned about the condition of the room.

Harry was seething in silence and chided himself on having been so clumsy and stupid to believe he could sneak by the man. He also knew Snape was right and he had been in a hurry to do something about his friends. He had no idea how to go about it and Snape was also right about the Horcruxes even though he hated to admit it. Got to be smarter than this, he thought, although he could not erase the anxiety that crept up in his chest and made it hard to swallow.

He looked around and then turned to leave the room. "I'll check upstairs."

Snape nodded without looking.

He checked the long hall on each floor. Most of the rooms had been currently occupied with the number of people seeking a refuge. However, Buckbeak was not in his old room near the attic and there was no indication of where Hagrid might be. He had not been among those captured, or at least the Daily Prophet had not mentioned him.

Harry did find the room Ginny and Hermione and Fleur had occupied. It was clear they had not been takenwithout a fight. There were scorch marks on the walls indicating fight had taken place. Harry noticed there were also shredded pieces of parchment on one bed and was sure it belonged to Hermione. He was mildly surprised to discover when he bent over the pillow and mangled bedding that Crookshanks was poking his squashed face from beneath them.

"Crookshanks!" Harry said and pulled the frightened cat out. It struggled for a moment and then settled into his arms. "You've been left behind." Harry murmured to the cat and stroked it, sinking his fingers into the fur a little too roughly at times. The cat tolerated his inept petting and began a throaty purr.

He continued to search the room and then carried the cat out to the landing and started down the stairs. His fingers suddenly hit upon the cat's collar and he would have ignored it except that the cat pushed his head violently against the fingers as if trying to rub it off.

"You don't wear a collar, Crookshanks," Harry said aloud and stared down the dark hall. The house was quiet. He ran his fingers around to the catch and unhooked it. The cat, now free, of his burden, slipped out of Harry's arms and strolled leisurely down the hall in search of mice.

Harry noticed that a piece of paper was rolled around the collar. It slipped off into his hand. He unrolled it and noticed Hermione's very small handwriting covering every blank space on it. He could not understand what she was writing. It appeared to be instructions.

Hermione did you find the spell to destroy the Horcruxes? he wondered and started back down the stairs.

Snape was waiting for him.

"We must leave soon, it's too dangerous here. What did you find?"

Harry handed him the paper and watched him.

The dark eyes skimmed over the parchment and nodded. "Yes, this is what we want." Snape said. "I have the locket. We must go. There is one thing I must do first."

Harry frowned and waited.

"I must perform the your coming-of-age ceremony and initiate you to make you a member of the Order. I understand today is your birthday."

Harry was surprised. He'd forgotten. "Yes. It is. But tell me first why it's so important?"

Snape eyes were now rimmed with dark shadows and fatigue was written in his every movement. "You are about to come of age. You will use magic for the first time outside of Hogwarts and no one will be able to monitor it. As a safeguard the initiation has always been done on the seventeenth birthday. It will help govern your magic."

"Govern it?" Harry didn't like the sound of it.

"Help you control yourself," Snape snapped. "It's either that or let the Ministry license you?" His eyebrow went up. "I don't think we want that now do we? It is a ritual all wizards and witches must undergo when they come of age. There can be no rogues out there Potter and it is better done, even by me, then by some Ministry moron." Snape was now hissing with irritation. He seemed to mellow a little and said, "They always manage to turn out less then adequate wizards and witches when they do it, to say the least."

"Alright!" Harry growled back. He had rather hoped Lupin could have initiated him into the order but knew it was impossible and he knew nothing of a coming-of-age ceremony. He had to trust Snape. "Why here in this house?"

"It is the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore made it so. Please do not ask a million questions, Potter. I need a bed and rest and so do you. THAT..." he continued when Harry threatened to interrupt, "must come before anything else. And I don't want to have to continue to chase you all over London to make sure you aren't getting into trouble. Your friends will not die in the next five hours or six hours. Then, and only then, we will decipher Miss Granger's scrawlings..." He shook his head and looked at the paper again, "...once more...", as if to say he'd had quite enough of reading Hermione's lengthy essays while at Hogwarts.

Harry shrugged in acquiescence and said, "Fine. Tell me how we are going to get to Azkaban?"

Snape looked up and scowled. This time he spoke with his usual sarcastic voice, "You own a broom don't you, Potter? It's seems to me you know how to fly."

"Oh...well...yes!" Harry said with surprise. "I'll just go fetch it." He turned and hurried back up the stairs to the room he had occupied for very short time. While there, he slipped the diary in his bag and checked for anything else he'd left behind. The shiny gold galleon Hermione had put a spell on was between his Quidditch robes. He slipped it into a pocket and then left the room.

Snape waited for him in the sitting room and Harry once again entered carrying his belongings. He was without Hedwig and did not know where she might be, other than she had been stolen, released or out hunting. He couldn't worry about her and was traveling light. He was sure she would find him as she had always done if she was needed.

Snape withdrew his wand and paused. He cleared his throat and looked as if he felt awkward. Harry wondered what the difficulty was. He agreed they had been in the house far too long. He was about to ask what the matter was when Snape looked at him and began to speak, "I must apologize, Potter. This ceremony is a private matter and most often done by a person's parents or guardians. If they are not available then it is done by close friends." He cleared his throat and Harry could see a faint shade of pink in his cheeks.

He's blushing, Harry thought with amazement. He's actually embarrassed! He tried covering up the moment by saying by saying, "It doesn't matter. Let's get on with it."

Snape shook his head. "You know very little about being a wizard, Potter."

"So what?!" Harry said in anger. "I didn't have much of a chance to learn."

"I am not trying to be critical, Potter. This is difficult enough..." He stopped and then looked uncomfortable but resolved. "Very well, let's proceed. You will understand better afterwards." Snape was not being sarcastic or even cruel when he said it and Harry felt like he had many times; he felt left out and ill-at-ease. There had been too many times, so many that he'd lost count, when he had not understood something about the wizarding world and it was obvious this was one of them. He couldn't argue with the man, he was ignorant about this.

"I am apologizing for having to be the one to perform the ceremony," Snape said, uncharacteristically. "We hardly have any kind of relationship but I will do the best I can under the circumstances and because it cannot be delayed any longer in order to find a suitable master wizard. It is called a quickening ceremony and is designed to stimulate your magical powers that come to fruition on your seventeenth birthday. It is part of our biology, Potter." Snape once again looked extremely uncomfortable. "Without it our skills are not easily controlled and can often be dangerous to us and others."

Harry nodded solemnly and stood before him.

Snape stepped closer and studied him for a moment before he touched his shoulder with the wand and placed his other hand on the other shoulder. "We are wizards bound by a universal pledge to keep our kind a secret from the muggle world and to live as brothers and sisters in harmony, to consider our magic as a sacred trust and follow the laws established by our governing body. We are mortals and we pray that in all things our wand hand is governed by an all-knowing mighty hand from above. And so shall it be."

Harry felt a slight tingling sensation that crept downwards through his body and warmed him, almost to the point he began to perspire. He suddenly felt a sensation the likes of which he had never known could exist. It was wonderful and at the same time frightening. It sparked a feeling that was almost sexual in its similarity; but clearly highly sensual and strong. He felt the ripples of a strong orgasmic spasm seize him and erupt through his system and for a moment his mind was filled with pleasure and indescribable beauty.

He knew the minute it began to subside that he was truly and forever a wizard and the muggle part of him was now dying away. There was no doubt as he felt its last death throes and along with it the agony of its' dying that lasted but a fraction of a second and then went out like a candle flame in a draft. And then it was over.

Snape dropped his hands and stepped back.

Harry immediately understood the intimacy of the ceremony and why Snape had been embarrassed. He hoped someday he would be alive to perform the ceremony for his own children because there was now a link between them much like a father to a son; a brother to a brother and it had been incontrovertibly the most intimate thing he had ever done with another human being.

"I'm sorry," Snape said again. He watched Harry, who now straightened and faced him with a new look and a new attitude. "It should have been someone else," Snape said.

Harry nodded and turned towards the door, and then stopped at the door saying, "I'm not sorry. Now let's go."

…..

Snape carried the basket holding the cat and stood at the one of the doors to Azkaban, looking down at the chasm before him. He always apparated back and forth to Azkaban at the Lord's bidding when the spells on the fortress were removed and had never had to physically navigate the intricate and horrific corridors of the castle or the horrible landscape that surrounded it. He now stood at the precipice and looked out over the moat that was hundreds of meters deep.

One had only to put their foot out and walk across the chasm on an invisible floor. There was an illusion employed to make it look like one would fall into the gorge and die instantly and very few knew it existed. He held the basket with the cat in one hand and his wand in the other, glad Lily was not in her human form. He was dealing with the terrors himself and was glad he could allow her the peace of not being afraid. Even knowing some of the secrets to the place did not relieve him of the terror of it; that and the ever-growing fear they would be captured.

He put one foot out and closed his eyes. If he was wrong, and there was no magical illusion, they would both plunge into the abyss and no magic would stop them from being shattered against the steaming rocks and molten lava below. His breath caught in his chest and he stepped forward. He stumbled slightly when his foot hit solid ground. He opened his eyes and stood, seemingly, in space, over a thousand foot abyss smelling the gases from the smoking rocks below.

He walked slowly and carried the basket as if it were made of gold. The cat was now calm and resting. He checked often and thoughtlessly sucked on his hand where she had clawed him an hour before, tasting the salt of his own blood. He was feeling better. They had escaped the fortress and no one had given the alarm. He knew their most dangerous moments were yet to come, but he was relieved to escape the dreadful atmosphere of the fortress created by the Dementors.

It was dark and Severus searched and found the trail by the filmy, ghostly shreds of moonlight from a sliver of a moon.. He knew there were meat-eaters in the green foliage. That did not concern him. What did concern him were the Inferi the Dark Lord kept in the pools along the trail. If they surged and overwhelmed him, they would both die very horrible deaths; eaten alive by the ghouls. The only means to fight them was fire and that would give him away to the patrols of werewolves and their brothers, the wolves who watched the perimeter. He walked slowly, placing his foot directly on the path to avoid the edges of the swampy water and the Inferi within. He knew it would take longer but it gave them a better chance.

...

Harry could not sleep. He lay on the bed and felt a new strength coursing through him. It had been almost forty-eight hours since he'd closed his eyes and so much had happened. Finally, afraid Snape would cast a spell on him out of shear frustration, he closed his eyes and fell into a floating dream.

He woke and stared at the shabby room around him before realizing just where he was. He jerked to a sitting position and saw Snape across from him sitting at a table writing on a piece of parchment with Hermione's paper before him. He glanced over and nodded.

"I see you are awake. Good." He continued to write and then looked up once again when Harry didn't respond. "Make yourself some breakfast and then join me. We must go out soon. We cannot put off a trip to Gringott's and it will be dangerous."

Harry stood and stretched. "How long was I asleep?"

"Twelve hours," Snape said and continued to write.

Twelve hours! Harry thought. "Why didn't you wake me?!"

"You needed to rest," Snape said. "We could not break into Gringott's in the middle of the night. We have not wasted time, Potter. Do as I say."

Harry frowned at him and searched for his wand without arguing. He was mumbling under his breath, promising himself he would not always be following Snape's orders. The man had a sixth sense or was a seer because he answered aloud, "No Potter, you will not always follow my orders, but today you will." The dark eyes came up and Harry rolled his own and sat down at the same table. For the first time, he waved his wand without worrying about it being illegal and produced a complete breakfast for himself, something he was surprised to learn he could do with ease.

"When will we go to Azkaban?" he asked chewing his toast with relish.

Snape looked up and frowned. "We will be lucky if we survive destroying the two Horcruxes."

Harry frowned. "You don't intend to go at all."

Snape looked up again. "We must do this first."

"Have you ever been there at all?" Harry snapped.

"I told you. Your mother was kept prisoner there. We escaped; we did not stroll out of Azkaban, nor did we waltz." The dark eyes were now piercing. "We escaped with our lives which is fortunate and indeed, a miracle. There is a reason it is a wizard's prison, Potter. It is almost impossible to enter or leave unless the proprietor is at home and allows it."

Harry raised an eyebrow and continued eating. "Do you think you can destroy the Horcrux from the vault? How do you know the locket is not already clean?"

Snape had bent to his writing and laid the quill carefully on the table, folded his hands together over his document and then raised his head. "I believe Miss Granger found the clues to how they are made. She also made some notations about how they are unmade. I believe the locket is probably no longer a Horcrux. Now is there anything else you'd like to know or shall I put my work aside and chat with you while you have your breakfast?"

Good ol' Snape, Harry thought. No warm and fuzzy feelings left over from the day before. "When will we leave for Azkaban?" he asked without concern about his companions mood.

Snape was writing again. "If we survive this, then we will leave immediately after."

"How long will it take to get there?"

"Potter!"

"Alright," Harry griped. He sipped his coffee, finished his breakfast and ventured another question. "So how long does it take? It's far out to sea, right?"

"No. It is not out to sea," Snape answered slowly. "It is on the coast. However, there are perilous cliffs and surging oceans there. It does not take long to get to the island where the castle stands. It does take some time to do so without being seen and to navigate the trail that takes one to it. Once inside it will take even longer. Perhaps it would be wise for you to stay behind."

"What?!" Harry gasped.

Snape studied him from beneath heavy brows and once again laid aside his quill. "There is no need for you to risk your life. I can go and try and free the others."

Harry shook his head. "I told Remus the same thing I'm going to tell you. You cannot leave me out of this fight and you know the reasons why."

"The Dark Lord is at Hogwarts. He is not at Azkaban."

"You said he is setting a trap for me there," Harry argued.

"Perhaps," Snape said agreeing. "It is likely. It doesn't mean he is there. It is a difficult place to get into and out of. I do not need to watch over you and try and do it."

"I am not a child and I do not need a nanny," Harry protested angrily.

Snape waved his hand airily at him and groaned. "Don't give me your theatrics, Potter. I am not in the mood for it. You have no idea what this is about and you have no real understanding of what to do if you go after him."

"No?" Harry spat. "I have already met up with him once. I think I have a pretty good idea of what I can expect."

"He will not allow you close to him. He has learned his lesson well since the night of the tournament. You cannot use your wand and he cannot use his. He kidnapped Ollivander just so a new wand could be made for him." Snape rose from the table and paced the room. He spoke in a low calm voice. "He has thought of all the avenues you might use. Believe me, there are many who dream of assassinating him and who will never succeed. And let me say, they are a little more intelligent then you."

Harry watched the man who spun on his heels, hands behind his back in the center of the room and fell silent. He waited, not sure what he could say. He knew he needed him, probably could do nothing without him, and yet, had to go on.

"Does he believe you are still loyal to him? Harry asked. "You need my protection as much as I need yours. I can't tell you why but it is important that your true loyalties not be revealed too soon."

Snape waited a full minute before nodding slowly.

Harry stood and walked to him, standing very close. "We need each other. I can't do this without you and he can't be killed without me. So let's go one step at a time and see what happens."

Snape looked down into his face and relaxed. "My thoughts exactly, Mr. Potter."

"Good." Harry turned away and walked to the window. It was a beautiful summer day and a shame there were no wizards or witches out on the street. "Let's go get that Horcrux." He felt his heart beating hard and he headed for the door. Snape followed wordlessly.

...

Severus released the cat and waved his wand over her. The woman rose before him in the light of the moon. He held his breath as he watched the transformation. They were not out of danger yet, but he could not go on with her as a cat.

Lily looked over the cliff and down at the raging ocean below. Even in the dim light it was clear there were jagged cliffs and surfs beating against them. No human could survive the waters below.

"Severus! How..." she looked around her and grabbed his hand. "We're no better off then when we were up there."

She tilted her head and he studied her long neck and neckline. He could have fallen to his knees at that moment and begged for her love. Yet he knew she did not belong to him and never would. He could only feast with his eyes and long for her until there was an ache in his chest that threatened to still his beating heart.

When he didn't answer she turned to him. They were very close. Even the salty ocean air did not erase the fragrance of her hair and skin. He pulled her close and she allowed it and then pushed away. "Severus...," she began gently.

He shoved gilly weed into her hands and wadded up the remainder in his. "It will help us breath underwater. When we get to the waters edge we must try and swim to shore. We may die."

She looked at the wormy tendrils of plant in her hand and then nodded. "They were in desperate circumstance and she knew as well as he that they had come a long way, even if they failed at the end."

"The child I carry, Severus," she started again, this time leaning into him and seeking refuge against the rain and the cold by pressing her face into his chest. "You will keep your promise?"

Snape pressed his lips gently against her hair, so gently she could not feel it. "I will do whatever you ask, Lily." Even as he said it he could feel the dark mark on his arm begin to burn. The Dark Lord had discovered their escape and was calling his Death Eaters to him.

She looked up at him, and then turned, took his hand and began the treacherous descent to the ocean. Meanwhile, a patrol of wizards circled overhead on thestrals and shot sparks into the air to illuminate the ground below. It had begun to rain ferociously and it whipped at their clothes and their bodies until he thought they would be swept off the cliffs face into the frothy surf below.

When they reached a point where they could safely jump in, he pulled her to him once again and shouted above the noise that deafened them. "He has discovered you are gone. Now we must hurry. Do not leave my side!"

She nodded and put the gilly weed in her mouth and began to chew. He did the same and took her hand. Just before they jumped he turned to her. "I love you, Lily!"

"What?" she asked, her face screwed into a question mark.

He shook his head and felt the first effects of the gills forming on his neck. He reached for his as she did hers and then jumped and pulled her in with him.