Someone shoot me. Please. I''ll get to the action eventually. Bleh.

Disclaimer still stands. Now it seems like I don't own "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem either. No, I don't know how Usagi got exposed to that song. She must have very inattentive parents.

It had been ten full minutes since Usagi had entered one of the shrine's only two stalls, and she was still singing. Rei, meanwhile, had sailed past the point of irritation and was deep in P.O'd country. Her left foot was asleep, she wanted breakfast, and she was STILL handcuffed to her airhead of a comrade. Things were not exactly looking up for the fiery Sailor Senshi.

"Are you done yet? God must have given you a bladder made of elastic if you're not."

Usagi's answer was the metaphorical equivalent of tripping and falling down in front of a moving train. Listening to it, Rei felt her eye start to do that twitching thing again.

"I finished a while ago, but I've been staying in here to get back at you for calling me an idiot earlier. Ha ha, what now? Oh! That's right. Ahem, anyway, as I was saying...I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady, all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating, so won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up--"

The miko ground her teeth together, unaware that steam was rising out of her ears. "Oh, you want to stand up, do you? Here, let me help you."

Rei had to bite back a snicker as she pulled hard on her end of the chain, rudely cutting off the second refrain. There was a most satisfying yelp that was followed by a crash and a loud thump as Usagi was jerked off the toilet seat, smacked against the inside of the door, and hit the ground in a tangle of schoolgirl uniform and bun hairdo. Rei started laughing evilly, drowning out the annoyed voice directed at her from behind the stall door.

"Owwwww! You're so evil to me, Rei. You suck! I hope you get VD, whatever that is."

Usagi opened the door and stomped out, looking disgruntled and disheveled in her fall from glory. Rei turned away so her victim couldn't see her face contorting as she held back giggles. Forcing air into her lungs, the miko spun around and strode past Usagi. She tried to exude a businesslike I'm-the-big-dog air as she dragged her manacled friend back down the hall from whence they came.

"Better VD than a face that'll frighten off Jack the Ripper's ghost. Now, come on. Let's get some breakfast before I faint."

There was no way that Usagi could refuse. Keeping true to the shared feeling of rivalry, they sat directly across from each other. The chain stretched across the tabletop, a line of silver between plates and bowls piled high with food. Rei's end clinked against her bowl as she lifted her spoon, munching on Fruit Loops as she glared over at Usagi.

It wasn't a conscious thing. It was more like her face had chosen that default expression for looking at the Moon princess. Rei wasn't sure when she had started doing it, although she figured in the back of her mind that it had probably been after one of their many petty arguments. If Rei really cared about it, she would have realized that it was kinda weird to be glaring daggers at the queen of a kingdom and not even realize you're doing it.

However, she cared more about eating her gay cheerios than psychoanalyzing herself. Feeling OCD, Rei placed her empty bowl in a ruler-straight perpendicular angle to her glass of orange juice.

Usagi, on the other hand, was feeling as happy as a pig in mud. A Silent Rei was a Happy Rei as far she was concerned. Her ego had suffered enough in the last hour or so from the barrage of sarcasm and insults. Also her bottom. It throbbed from her ungainly descent to the cold tile floor. Ignoring it, the young Tsuskino blissfully jammed a forkful of fresh pancake-y goodness into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

She narrowed her eyes. It needed syrup.

Looking around, Usagi smiled when she saw a big jug of it off to her right by the edge of the table. The blonde leaned to the side to reach it, but knocked it to the ground instead. Sighing, she reached down to pick it up, unknowingly towing Rei along with her as the chain formed a diagonal line that was stretched taunt. The young Hino had to thrust out her arm to avoid having her face pulled down onto her pancakes. It worked, but at a price. Her hand grazed the side of a pitcher of orange juice and sent it teetering.

It wobbled one way, looking on the very brink of falling off the table and hitting the floor. Rei held her breath. Then it moved back. Rei sighed in relief. Just to spite her, the pitcher tipped all the way forwards and drenched her in sticky juice. She sputtered, blinking as the liquid tried to run into her eyes. Usagi sat up, holding the syrup jug in one hand. She goggled at the saturated miko.

"What happened to YOU?"

Rei got up and marched over to Usagi, who cowered at the right of her enraged friend. Somehow, without any words being spoken, she knew that she was in major trouble. The miko grabbed the almost empty pitcher, turned it upside down, and stuck it between the Tsuskino's twin buns like a hat. "Dammit dammit damn," she muttered under her breath as she wiped her clothes on the bewildered Usagi. A thin trickle of orange juice ran down between the blond's eyes.

"This is officially your fault."

"I don't even know what happened!"

Ignoring the defensive wails, Rei went to her room and got out her blow dryer. She reached for her shirt drawer, but a thought suddenly occured to her. Wait, I can't take off a shirt in handcuffs. Nevermind! Rei turned away and walked down the hall, Usagi silently following, numbed by fear. Holding the towel in one hand, she re-entered the bathroom for the second time that morning and got a towel.

Instructing Usagi to stand absolutely still, Rei set down the blow dryer out of the way where it couldn't electrocute her. Then she ran the towel under the running sink faucet. After it was wet enough, Rei wrung it out and scrubbed her shirt thoroughly. She did the same to the skin underneath, making sure to wipe away every trace of the sticky residue.

She couldn't stop blushing until she was done, for some reason.

Glaring at Usagi, Rei picked up the blow dryer and turned it on. The odango-head quailed under the look and shut her mouth again. She had been about to offer helping out, but wisely decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Usagi managed to keep herself amused by staring at the wallpaper until Rei had finished.

Shutting off the blow dryer, the miko gathered up her long, dark purple locks and bent down over the sink. Turning the knob, Rei began to methodically clean the orange juice from her hair. It was a little scary how well she was taking this. Time passed. By the time that the young Hino had finished drying her absurdly long hair, Usagi was feeling a little braver. Timidly, she approached with a brush.

Surprisingly, Rei allowed her to work through the snarls and tangles that the orange juice had brought on, Usagi managing quite well despite wearing handcuffs. It was a silent, awkward affair; for Rei because of what she had remembered, and for Usagi because of the trust being placed in her. It made her feel unreal, and she half-expected herself to break something.

"So."

Usagi nearly leaped a foot in the air. The only thing that kept from doing so was the idea of what would happen if she did it while holding a sizable chunk of Rei's hair in her hands. She was very still as she replied.

"So what?"

Rei waved a hand at her, wanting the brushing to continue. When it was underway again, she sighed.

"So, how are we going to get out of this mess?" Not waiting for the other girl to answer, Rei rushed on. "I mean, this isn't a problem we can solve between the two of us, I think. It'd be too easy for one of us to get hurt." She looked suddenly contemplative. "That means that we have to ask one of the others for help. Who do you suggest, Usagi?"

Usagi fought down the reaction to jump again. She focused on brushing the ocean of silky obsidian strands in front of her, trying to buy time as she thought. Her opinion sounded like it might actually carry weight with Rei. Usagi didn't feel like screwing up this time.

"Well, I think we should ask Ami. She is the biggest genius out of all of us. Maybe she can find a way to break these stupid things." The future Queen stuck her tongue out at the manacle on her wrist. Rei leaped up and spun around, catching Usagi in a surprise hug.

"Usagi, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say! Yes! Ami'll know what to do! Oh Usagi, I could kiss you!"

Usagi blushed, but it went unnoticed as Rei clapped her hands joyously at the good idea and barreled out of the bathroom like a shotgun blast. She ran in the direction of Ami's house, dragging the blond behind her all the way.

"GAH!"