Chapter 2: Bubblestand
March 16, 2008.
Squidward opened the front door.
Pink flowers were gliding through the sky. Orange hues, with increasingly brighter shades of blue above it, were rising over the horizon.
Only the chirping of scallops and the buzzing of jellyfish broke the silence.
He inhaled the fresh air. "Ah…" He put his hands on his hips.
Next to the front door was a bent sea tulip in a vase.
He straightened the tulip and scanned his lawn.
A seashell was lying near the tiki's pathway.
He glanced at the pineapple's window, perceiving no activity inside the home. 'Those two buffoons are gonna be jellyfishing anyway.' He took a wide step towards the seashell and then kicked it to the pineapple's lawn.
He turned around and ambled towards the backyard. When the scallops' chirps began to repeat in more complex patterns, he halted and closed his eyes. He remained still until he recognized all of the scallops' chirp patterns. The notes playing in his thoughts formed into a new combination. He ran back to the tiki's front door.
S-S-S-S-S
A minute later…
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward entered the backyard through the back door. He was holding a few sheets of paper. A pencil was in his shirt pocket. He laid down on a hammock between two large pieces of coral and adjusted his legs until the empty papers were on his lap. As he immersed himself into the writing of his new song, he straightened the branches the notes could take into a single pathway that he had used in previous compositions.
S-S-S-S-S
HOONNNNNNNNNK
SpongeBob wiped his eyes.
CLICK
He pressed the foghorn's button and hopped to the floor. He jogged around the bed until his head no longer felt heavy. "Morning, Gary." He gazed at the orange sky through the window.
Gary yawned. "Meow." He slipped through the doorway to the stairs.
SpongeBob leaped into his squarepants. He skipped to his treasure chest and flung it open. He then took out an instrument case and opened it.
Inside the case was a wooden jellyfishing net.
He clutched the net, wiped off the dust and dirt, twirled it, and then released it.
The net spun as it soared. It nearly touched the ceiling before returning to SpongeBob's hand.
He giggled. "I heard the jellyfish's gonna be more different today." He glanced at his watch and then at Patrick's rock through the window. 'I gotta kill some time.' He contemplated the dust on his palm and rubbed it for several seconds. From the corner of his eye, he saw a purple speck on his lawn. He leaned towards the window, squinted, and saw a seashell. A certain machine emerged from his memories. "Oh yeah! I haven't used that before!" He pushed the window open, hopped to the windowsill, stuck out his tongue slightly, and slid across the pineapple's surface.
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward, from the corner of his eye, saw a yellow flash. He sighed and glanced at the pineapple for a split-second.
SpongeBob landed before the pineapple's garage door. He snatched a nearby crowbar and slipped it under the metal door. His grip tightened as he yanked the door open.
SHHWWOOOSSH
Squidward glared at SpongeBob for almost a minute. 'Don't bother. You'll just encourage him.' His knees moved towards his chest. He resumed his writing. His frown cooled to a deadpan face.
From the corner of SpongeBob's eye, Squidward's arm seemed to have moved in a waving motion. "Hi, Squid!" He waved 'back' before dashing into the garage.
S-S-S-S-S
A few minutes later…
S-S-S-S-S
"With... Harpe, you… safe from…"
The faint sounds of the TV could be heard from the garage.
Piles of miscellaneous items fell to the floor as SpongeBob dug through them. He pushed a box out of the way and glimpsed a tiny sparkle of reflected light. "Aha!" He rubbed his hands and grabbed a black strap that was connected to a large metal surface. His head leaned back and the metal groaned as he dragged out the huge container.
The hose connected to the machine, which was nearly as skinny as SpongeBob's arms, slithered out of the pile.
The machine resembled a backpack.
"I've never tried this reef blower before." He wiped off the dust on the machine, shook off the dust from his hands, and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Didn't uncle John give this for my birthday?" His quickened heartbeat pushed his thoughts forward. He strapped the machine to his shoulders.
He slogged out of the garage.
S-S-S-S-S
SpongeBob tossed a rock at the garage door's bottom.
CLANG
The garage door fell to the ground.
Squidward held his breath and sat up. He clenched his pencil. He inhaled, held his breath until his grip on the pencil loosened, exhaled, and laid down again. The notes flowing between his mind and pencil became twisted.
SpongeBob flicked the switch to 'ON'.
The machine emitted thunder-like sounds and throbbed.
SpongeBob bit his lip but then shrugged.
Squidward winced. His grip on the paper became shaky. "Screw it!" he muttered. He threw the pencil to the other side of the hammock and stuffed the paper into his shirt pocket. He marched into the tiki through the back door.
The machine swayed as SpongeBob struggled to run towards the lawn. When he reached the seashell, he leaned towards the shell, narrowed his eyes, tightened his grip on the hose and aimed it at the seashell, and yanked the starter.
The engine vibrated and the hose coughed out a puff of smoke.
"Hm?" SpongeBob adjusted his aim on the seashell and pulled the starter.
The engine shook violently and the hose coughed out a bigger smoke puff.
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward walked into the music room. He eyed SpongeBob through the right window before flumping to a chair. 'He won't ruin this Sunday.' He picked up his laptop and opened it. He then read a stream of e-book pages, straightening the path of imagined musical notes that SpongeBob had thrown off.
He eventually perceived an advertisement on the left side of the website he was on. The words 'DANCE', 'STAR', 'PLAY', and 'FAME' caught his attention. He clicked on the ad and read the 'ABOUT' section of the advertisement's website. His lips gradually curved as he dug through the available information. Visions of escaping his status as a wage-slave by obtaining prestige raced through his mind. 'This is your chance, Squiddy. They'll finally recognize your talent and taste for what they are.' He clicked the website's 'SIGN UP' section.
S-S-S-S-S
Ten minutes later…
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward performed a front split before standing up. A few sweat drops was running down his neck. His stomach gurgled. 'If I'm gonna do more practice, I can't miss breakfast.' He took a few deep breaths and then walked downstairs.
S-S-S-S-S
A minute later…
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward opened the backdoor. He glanced in all directions before stepping out. He was holding a plate of green vegetables. He tiptoed to the hammock.
The seashell had not moved at all. The sun's rays were illuminating its vibrant colors.
"It just needs some warming up." SpongeBo maintained his aim. He steadily pulled the starter.
FFFFWWWOOOOOOSSSHH
A wall of wind erupted from the hose and pushed SpongeBob backward and the seashell upward. The sand near the seashell was ejected towards the sky.
The sand flew past the tiki and landed on Squidward in a plume.
Squidward coughed and shut his burning eyes. He swung his arms in a futile attempt at pushing away the sand particles.
"Don't worry, I'll fix it!" SpongeBob dashed towards Squidward, aimed the hose at the plume, and pulled the starter.
The sand plume dissipated.
The vegetables on Squidward's plate were covered in sand particles.
Squidward glanced at the sky and squinted. Its brightness filled him with an urge to curse it. He then wiped the corners of his eyes until all of the lingering sand particles were gone.
SpongeBob lowered the hose and tilted his head towards the ground. "Sorry," he nearly whispered. From the corner of his eye, Squidward looked like he was scowling. He then caught a glimpse of Squidward's arms, which were akimbo. "Mr. Krabs, come see your new employeeee!" He walked back to the seashell.
Squidward nodded. 'At least there's some reason in that head of his.' He wiped the sand off the hammock and then strolled to the back door. He could not resist a slight smile.
The seashell was on another area of the pineapple's lawn.
'Gotta do this quick. I can't hurt anybody else.' SpongeBob locked-on to his purple prey and stepped back as if he was going to pounce on it. "You!" he hissed and pointed at the shell. He turned the switch on the hose from 'FORWARD' to 'REVERSE'.
The seashell and the sand near it were sucked into the reef blower.
C-CTHUNG CLANG
The reef blower jerked left and right. Sand and bolts were ejected from the hose.
SpongeBob slipped his shoulders off the straps.
THUD
CLANG CTHUNG
The reef blower hopped in place.
SpongeBob gripped the machine until it became still. He lifted the machine and opened the zipper that was on its backside. He removed the pieces of rock and coral that were near key compartments.
The machine stopped vibrating.
'Maybe it'll work now.' He closed the zipper and strapped on the reef blower again. He aimed at the sky and pulled the starter.
C-CLUNK
The reef blower became silent.
The pineapple's lawn was spotless.
'Looks like my job's done.' SpongeBob turned around and took a step towards Patrick's rock.
The reef blower shook more rapidly than before.
"Using this doohickey is real easy, trust me. All you gotta do is aim with this and pull this little trigger." He gazed at the hose. 'This is a gift from my uncle after all. I can't disappoint him.' He dropped the reef blower, grabbed the starter, and pulled it while running down the street.
S-S-S-S-S
A few minutes later…
S-S-S-S-S
SpongeBob was plodding. His grip on the starter was so tight that his knuckles had a lighter shade of yellow. After a few more steps, the starter cord, which was as thin as a needle, reached its limit. He wiped some sweat from his brow and gripped the starter with his other hand.
The starter pulled him off his feet as it returned to the reef blower.
S-S-S-S-S
Less than a minute later…
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward was looking through one of the music room's windows. "Hm?"
SpongeBob was nowhere near the machine.
The cord was shrinking quickly.
After several seconds, the starter CLANGed to the machine.
SpongeBob was rolled away by a few feet.
The reef blower hopped across the lawn like a rabbit as its gears roared. The hose slithered on the ground as a drain-like whirlpool formed from its opening. The container was glowing softly.
The tiki and the pineapple leaned towards the hose.
SpongeBob jumped to his feet, sprung to the reef blower, and flicked the switch to 'OFF'.
The whirlpool from the hose did not shrink. The ground began to shake.
SpongeBob's face drained of color and he gulped.
S-S-S-S-S
Gary was watching a soccer game while lying on the couch. He was eating a bag of algae chips. He raised the TV's volume with the remote when a player from his favorite team kicked the ball to the goal line.
The couch was moving towards the front door.
The TV fell to the right and the hooked fake fish hanging on the wall collapsed.
The ceiling's color was peeling away.
"M-meow…"
Within a minute, all the water in the living room got sucked through the front door.
Gary, whose lack of gills allowed him to breathe in both dry land and water, slowly inhaled and exhaled several times until his lungs adjusted to the dry air. After a few more seconds, he breathed normally.
S-S-S-S-S
The tiki's 'eyes' and 'mouth' flew open. The force of the whirlpool pulled Squidward and his self-portraits out of the tiki and flung them to the ground.
The reef blower was so swollen that it looked like a nearly broken eggshell. Water trickled through the cracks.
The exposed sun was burning Squidward's and SpongeBob's skins.
The surrounding saltwater on the horizon made the neighborhood look like it was inside the eye of a hurricane. Faint splashes from the distant saltwater could be heard.
SpongeBob coughed until his thoughts were consumed by his holes' dryness and the pressure on his miniature gills. He collapsed back-first to a puddle and shut his eyes from the blinding rays.
Squidward's face blued and he clung to the water remaining in his system by tremblingly gripping his throat. He glanced around for any drops of water until the sun pushed him towards SpongeBob's puddle.
The cracks on the reef blower expanded in branch-like paths.
GRROOOOAAAAAAN
Water began to spout from the cracks.
CLANK
Bolts fell to the ground.
The water inside the reef blower shoved a metal panel.
KASPLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSH
The reef blower exploded into countless pieces. The formerly contained water soared until its top was above the islet's palm trees. It then swallowed the dry area of the seafloor.
Thousands of bubbles floated throughout the neighborhood.
SpongeBob and Squidward's limbs felt weightless.
The ocean surface soared and dove until it regained its former height.
A penny was touching SpongeBob's palm.
SpongeBob sat up, held his hands towards his face, and saw the penny. The memory of Mr. Krabs snatching the hi-tech spatula and then walking towards elsewhere replayed. He stood up.
A massive field of sand piles surrounded SpongeBob and Squidward. A green plank was protruding from one of the piles.
A light bulb lit up in SpongeBob's head.
Squidward pushed his head out of a sand pile.
The weights of other sand piles held down Squidward's arms.
Squidward clenched his teeth at the sight of SpongeBob's grin. The pile he was in felt like a pillory that the yellow brat had the key to. His shirt pocket was empty. He scanned the lawns before him but could not discern his music paper.
The sand had soiled his self-portraits.
Visions of SpongeBob hindering his ascent to fame flashed by Squidward's mental vision until it all became a blur that fueled his fire. "When will he leave me alone for just one damn day?!" he hissed. He attempted to push his limbs through but inhaled sand instead. He coughed. "A little help here," he muttered.
"My bad! My bad!" SpongeBob dashed to the sand pile, dug through it, and pulled Squidward out of the pile. He brushed the sand off Squidward's shirt and limbs. "You okay? Sand could really hurt your eyes, y'know."
The fire cooled to a familiar bittersweetness. Squidward could see the faded moon near the horizon. He had a faint image of yesterday's sunset. Like how the sun and moon rose and fell from the sky, hostility and neutrality towards the yellow devil constantly switched in their roles of dominance. SpongeBob's current remorse was a small push in the clashes that forever spun the wheel of Squidward's misfortunes. 'It's still better if he leaves. Him being sorry won't stop him from being a fool.' He dug through the sand pile until he pulled out the protruding end of his music paper. He brushed off the sand on his self-portraits and his music paper. He then folded the paper into his shirt pocket and returned the self-portraits to the tiki in medium stacks.
S-S-S-S-S
Patrick slowly opened his eyes.
His pillow had a drool stain.
The mattress springs creaked as he slid to the floor. He shakily stood up and wandered through the living room until his vision was no longer hazy.
Several pillows were imprinted with his butt or elbows.
The crust of a pizza slice and a puddle of chocolate ice cream were on the couch. Static buzzed on the TV's screen and softly lit the room.
The aches from his stomach pushed him to the kitchen.
Several empty bags of chips were lying on the table and a chair was lying back-first on the floor. Most of the cabinets were open and had their stacked contents leaning either left or right. An empty soda can was lying on the sink.
Patrick opened the refrigerator.
The soda bottles were empty. The gallon of orange juice was empty. The box of pizza was empty. The box of ice cream in the freezer was empty. The bottle of hot sauce was empty.
Only a few gallons of dull water remained.
He sighed, opened a gallon, and drank until he felt full. The water's coldness bit his gums. 'How long I've been here?' His memories were filled with the haze of resting on the couch, habitually going to the kitchen, and wolfing down snacks. He shrugged. He walked back to the living room and jumped to the ceiling.
S-S-S-S-S
Patrick hopped to the ground and the rock SLAMed. The sunlight pierced his eyes. He straightened his posture. He rubbed his eyes until they formed a shield of moistness. He perceived the sand piles and scratched his head. He wandered through the forest of sand until he caught a glimpse of SpongeBob.
CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK
Patrick leaned back and forth as he watched SpongeBob hammer together planks. "Hey, Sponge, whatcha doing?" He stroked the planks.
The wood being used was browner than the average wood.
Squidward opened the tiki's upper left window. "Can we lower the volume please?!" His arms were folded.
"Oh, sure thing, Squid." SpongeBob nodded multiple times. 'I gotta treat him better this time. He doesn't deserve to be hurt.' He gripped the hammer and took a deep breath. He grabbed a few nails and inched the hammer towards the stand.
"Yes. Mm." Squidward's head tilted upward. "Right. Mm." He closed the window. His right leg stood on tip-toe while he raised his left leg.
Clank
SpongeBob tapped the last nail into place. "Hey, Pat." He glanced at the tiki. "You came just in time."
Before SpongeBob was a stand with a large sign.
SpongeBob opened a bucket of red paint, dipped in a paint brush, and wrote on the empty sign 'BuBBLES 25 CENTS'. He then rinsed the brush with a pail of water, dipped it in a green paint bucket, and swiftly painted the wooden table.
Patrick stared at the sign. "You're selling bubbles?" He scratched his head. The activities he imagined did not quicken his heartbeat.
SpongeBob giggled. "Mm-mm." He shook his head. He took out a small soap bottle and a bubble wand. He picked up a piece of construction paper, folded it, rinsed the brush, dipped the brush in red paint, and wrote 'LESSONS 25 CENTS' on one side of the folded paper. He placed the paper on the table.
Patrick scratched his chin. "You're teaching people how to blow bubbles?"
"Not exactly." SpongeBob stepped back and gazed at his work. When his eyes were satisfied, he pointed at the sign and the folded paper. "With this set up, everybody can now experience the joy of bubble-blowing for half the price." He marched to the back of the stand and stood behind it with a slightly puffed-out chest.
"Isn't that a bit random for you?" Patrick tilted his head to one side.
"My reef blower broke and I saw alotta bubbles and that gave me inspiration so I was like, why not?" SpongeBob pointed at the remaining bubbles in the sky.
Patrick could only find hazy memories when he thought about bubble-blowing. 'Maybe I'll remember if I try it.' He stepped to the stand. "I wanna try."
SpongeBob's heartbeat quickened. "I'll need a quarter." He leaned from side to side.
"Sounds reasonable." Patrick nodded. He dug into his pockets and only found lint. He wore an innocent smile. "Um, I'm going to need to borrow a quarter." He held out the lint.
The images of fanciful bubbles eclipsed the fading thoughts of money. "Sure thing, Pat." SpongeBob tossed a spare quarter to Patrick. "It wouldn't hurt me."
Patrick passed the quarter back to SpongeBob. "One try please." He gazed at the the bubble wand and the glistening soap bottle. His hands inched towards them.
SpongeBob scrutinized the quarter by biting it. He did a thumbs-up. "Thank you." He tucked it into his pocket.
"Let's start now." SpongeBob dipped the wand into the bottle. "One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go." He held out the bottle and wand towards Patrick.
Patrick slowly took hold of the wand and bottle. 'Be careful. I can't look too dumb.' His hand trembled as he lifted the wand from the bottle. He inhaled until he had the face of a pufferfish. When he exhaled, his cheeks deflated.
Nothing came out of the wand's hole.
Patrick breathed deeply a few times, did a few jumping jacks, and stretched his arms. A light bulb lit up. 'This'll do the trick.' He tongue stuck out slightly. He inhaled the air to his stomach, leaned his mouth towards the wand, and expelled the air.
The soap pushed out but returned to the hole when it was halfway through.
Patrick noticed the smell of chips in his pants. His mouth began to water. "This is too hard!" He aimed the wand towards the ground.
'Poor Pat. He must've forgot again.' SpongeBob glanced in all directions to make sure nobody else was watching. "Maybe you need a little help." He gently took away the wand and the bottle. He pointed at the 'LESSONS' sign. "Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents."
Patrick saw an empty cereal box from the corner of his eye, remembering that his fridge was empty. "Okay." He felt his empty pockets. "Oh yeah." He rubbed his stomach. "Can I have another quarter, please?" He hesitantly held out his hand.
"Okee-dokee." SpongeBob nodded and tossed the quarter.
"Thanks." Patrick tossed the quarter back to SpongeBob.
SpongeBob caught the quarter with one hand and winked.
The two giggled.
SpongeBob tucked the quarter into his pocket and pulled the wand out of the bottle. "Okay, Pat, it's all in the technique." He held out the wand. "First, go like this, spin around." He spun until his body blurred into a yellow cylinder. "STOP!" He halted. "Double take three times. One, two, three." He glanced to the left and to the right and to the left again. "Then pelvic thrust!" He pushed his hips forward and glided across Patrick's lawn. "Whoooo!" He slid to the right. "Whoooo!" He slid to the left. He halted by stomping with his right foot and allowing his left shin to land on the ground. "Stop on your right foot, don't forget it!"
A pause.
"Now it's time to bring it around town." SpongeBob's upper body circled his stationary feet. "Bring-it-a-round-town." He circled slower. "Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that." The brisk sequence of poses made him look like a yellow tornado. "And then…" He slowed to a stop. He stood on tip-toe with only his left foot and held up the other leg backwards. His blow on the wand was almost inaudible.
A duck bubble emerged from the wand. It fluttered across the street.
The bubble fascinated Patrick with its small wings and irregular movements. He did not blink. "Oooooh…" When the duck bubble popped, he turned to SpongeBob.
A box bubble was floating around SpongeBob.
Patrick, while giggling, gazed at the bubble wand with the same face he had when he saw jellyfish colonies for the first time. "Do you know magic?"
SpongeBob tittered and shook his head. "That's nothing. Watch this." He blew on the wand again and a large caterpillar-like bubble squeezed out.
The caterpillar's elegant slithering caught Patrick's eyes. "Aaaaah..." His head tilted up as he watched it soar.
The caterpillar's head POPped.
POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP
The other bubbles popped in order until the tail was gone.
Patrick chuckled.
"I could do better." SpongeBob held the bubble wand upside-down, loudly whispered into it, and blew.
A massive boat bubble squeezed out and slowly soared. When it popped, it separated into a cloud of bubbles and uttered a HOOONNNNNK.
SpongeBob and Patrick laughed.
"And now… with two hands." SpongeBob stretched his fingers until the joints uttered faint cracks. He gripped the wand with both hands. He inhaled and his holes sucked in air as well. His upper body swelled slightly. He blew and air came from his holes in all directions.
An elephant bubble leaped out of the wand and circled the tiki.
The tiki's upper-left window was open.
"It's a giraffe!" Patrick was guffawing as he watched the elephant bubble inch towards the tiki's roof.
SpongeBob bit his lip. "Uh oh."
S-S-S-S-S
The bubble's trunk touched the upper left window.
POP
A flurry of bubbles swarmed into the music room. The incoming soap poked Squidward's eyes.
He covered his face with both hands until his vision was no longer blurry. Through the window, he saw SpongeBob and Patrick near the bubblestand. He gritted his teeth. The sign on the bubblestand and the lingering bubbles gave him an idea. He glanced at the crumpled music paper. 'If they keep bothering me, I won't be able to get anything done. Now's the time to take action.' He ran downstairs.
S-S-S-S-S
SLAM
Squidward stepped out of the front door with bloodshot eyes. He looked up at the tiki's windows and visualized how the bubbles contaminated the music room. The recent memory of SpongeBob's laughter filling the Krusty Krab passed by. He looked at the bubble wand and perceived its simple design. He smirked.
"Yikes!" Patrick hid behind the bubblestand. He mentally heard the possible words Squidward could use in his thunderous sermons.
SpongeBob shrank to the bubblestand's bottom. Squidward's cries echoed in his mind. He saw Squidward's moving feet from the corner of his eye. He snatched the 'LESSONS' sign, snatched the brush, dipped the brush in red paint, flipped the sign, and scribbled 'CLOSED'. He placed the sign on the stand with its 'CLOSED' side facing forward.
Squidward stood before the stand, raised his brow at the flipped sign, and put his hands on his hips. He maintained his glare.
SpongeBob crouched, clasped his hands near his chest, and looked up at Squidward with quivering lips. He tremblingly pointed at the 'CLOSED' sign. "Excuse me, sir, but we are clo-"
"Don't give me any of that!" Squidward banged the stand with both palms. When he opened his mouth again, he reined back his irritation. "How can you run a business like this one when you can't even control your own bubbles? You need much more skill to run services like these." He forced out a snicker. "To see if you're worthy of running this business, let's do a bet."
SpongeBob remembered how Squidward miraculously overcame long lines of irate customers. 'He has more professional experience than I do, he's probably right.' He jumped to his feet. "Okay."
Echoes of Squidward conversing about intellectual topics passed through Patrick's mind. His muscles loosened and he slowly stood up.
Squidward tilted his head upward. He stopped tapping his foot. "This is how it's gonna go: if I do better than you at bubble-blowing, you'll have to end your business since it would prove that you aren't qualified to run it. If you do better than me, you can keep your business. Capeesh?"
"Okee-dokee." SpongeBob did a thumbs-up. He snatched the wand and the bottle from the ground.
"Before we start, lemme see your technique." Squidward sat down with his back against a rock and put his hands behind his head. He perceived the abundance of bubbles in the sky and the simpleness of the bubbles' designs. He sniggered.
SpongeBob stepped forward. "First go like this, spin around." He spun at a moderate speed. "Stop!" He halted. "Double take three times. One, two, three." He glanced to the right and to the left and to the right again. "Then pelvic thrust!" With a push of his hips, he glided across the tiki's lawn. "Whooo!" He glided back to Squidward. "Whooo!" He slowed to a stop on his right foot. His left shin was on the ground. "Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town." His torso circled his feet.
Squidward raised his brow.
"Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that." SpongeBob performed a quick sequence of silly-looking poses. "And then…" He lightly blew into the wand.
A butterfly bubble fluttered out of the wand. It landed on Squidward's forehead and its wings stilled.
POP
A few drops of the soap landed on Squidward's eyes. He kept his eyes shut until they no longer stung.
Patrick's lips were curving.
Squidward, closing his hands into fists, stood up.
"How's that?" SpongeBob's legs were trembling.
Squidward folded his arms. Hours of practice in high school acting class allowed him to adjust his furrowed brows. "Even a little kid could do better than that. How you guys blow bubbles is one of the lamest ideas I've ever heard."
SpongeBob sighed. His gaze fell. "Pat, maybe we should go to my place to do something else." He trod slowly towards the pineapple. 'Squid knows best. If I'm gonna be selling something, it's gotta be something like Krabby Patties. Something special…'
"Okay…" Patrick looked downward as well and followed SpongeBob.
Squidward could not resist grinning. "That's more like it. You should be ashamed of yourselves." He covered his mouth with both hands, turned around, and jogged towards the tiki. The creation of artistic masterpieces raced through his mind.
SpongeBob caught a glimpse of Squidward before closing the pineapple's front door.
Squidward's nose repeatedly honked as he laughed. 'That was easier than I thought.' The neighborhood's restored quietude, to him, sounded like one the symphonies he had created. The fire in his mind cooled down. 'Why not celebrate a little?' He took a wide step to the bubblestand. He took hold of the wand and the bottle. His curiosity was chained to his mind. "Bubbles." He chuckled at the thought of SpongeBob blowing bubbles in front of a massive audience. He inhaled.
"That'll be twenty-five cents, sir." SpongeBob was holding out his hand. The sight of Squidward holding the wand was like an unexpected gift.
"Woah, what?" Squidward nearly jumped. He tightened his grip on the wand and the bottle. He visualized a scene where SpongeBob was gaping at the sight of the magnificent bubble that he would blow. His head tilted upward and he folded his arms.
"We also offer lessons for beginners." SpongeBob flipped the sign from 'CLOSED' to 'LESSONS 25 CENTS'. He nearly bit his lip at the thought of Squidward embarrassing himself by blowing weak bubbles. He glanced in all directions again.
More coal was added to Squidward's fire. "Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble?" He handed SpongeBob a quarter. 'He's gonna run back to his home once he sees the bubbles I'm gonna blow. This is no different than playing the clarinet.'
SpongeBob squeezed the quarter to make sure it was real. He then tucked it into his pocket.
Squidward's forehead had no sweat. His heartbeat was at a normal pace. He dipped the wand into the bottle. "Watch and learn." He inhaled and blew into the wand.
The soap in the wand did not budge.
Squidward felt a slight lump in his throat. He glanced at SpongeBob and Patrick. His heartbeat quickened. "Uh… wait, wait, wait…" He threw a quarter to the stand.
"I thought he was good," Patrick whispered to SpongeBob. He perceived Squidward's furrowing brows and nearly winced.
The whisper made Squidward's fire explode into a bright flame. He inhaled to his lungs' maximum capacity. He began to feel a dull pain in his forehead as his mind struggled to fan the rising flames. With nearly red cheeks, he blew into the wand.
The soap did not move from the wand.
Another quarter landed on the stand.
More repressed sights and sounds invaded Squidward's thoughts. "Hey, Squid, how're you doing?" "Don't come here! I've told you a million times already!" "What does this do?" "Don't touch that!" "Maybe you need a little help." "Why did you do that?! That took forever to make!" "Patrick, why did you eat my plants?!" "But I was hungry, my bad." "GET OUT!" "Wait a sec, what is this? This stuff soiled the couch… someone got into my fridge. Ugh, Patrick again." He clenched his teeth. He gripped the wand so hard that his hand felt like he was strangling someone. The dull pain spread throughout his head as he inhaled. He blew furiously.
A tiny bubble floated out of the wand and its pop was as quiet as a finger snap.
"Squid, you okay?" SpongeBob's eyes were faintly moist. He saw Squidward as a frail insect trying to lift a heavy stone. "Maybe we should save the bubble-blowing stuff for later."
Squidward pitched a quarter to the stand. "Just a mere warm up…" His mask of calmness was nearly transparent.
Patrick was whistling while avoiding Squidward's eyes. He put his hands in his pockets.
Squidward tremblingly stretched his arms, stepped back, took a few deep breaths, and loosened his grip on the wand. The dull pain remained. He inhaled in one second and blew into the wand.
The shaky bubble popped with a raspberry sound.
'I can't just stand here and do nothing. He needs help.' SpongeBob took a deep breath. Catching a glimpse of Squidward's intense scowl, he felt like he was deactivating a bomb. "Hey, Squid, remember the technique," he said softly.
Squidward inhaled again.
Patrick saw Squidward's clenched teeth. He felt the heat of Squidward's fire. "Squid's art is always so weird." Two students with names he could not recall were looking at a teenage octopus sitting alone while eating from a lunch box. "Yeah, he'll never be as good as Squilliam." "Technique!" He attempted to imitate SpongeBob's method for bubble blowing.
Squidward exhaled into the wand.
SpongeBob and Patrick saw the veins appearing on Squidward's forehead. "Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique!" they nearly chanted.
The flames were becoming unbearable. Squidward aimed the wand at the ground. A glimpse of a quiet neighborhood halted his arm. 'When will they just shut up?!'
"You're not doing the technique." SpongeBob attempted to step forward but his trembling legs glued his shoes to the ground.
Patrick saw redness fill up Squidward's face. "Technique." He began to step away from Squidward.
"Technique?! Technique?! Technique, technique, technique, technique, TECHNIQUE!" The barriers of reason could no longer restrain Squidward's anger.
"First I do this, spin around." Squidward attempted to mimic SpongeBob's voice. He whirled. "Stop." He halted. "Double take three times." He glanced to the left and to the right and to the left again. "And here we go, pelvic thrust." He slid to the back of the tiki's lawn. "Wehoooo!" He slid to the front of the tiki's lawn. "Wehoooo!" He stopped on his right foot. His left shin was on the ground. "Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then, bring it around town." His body circled his stationary feet. "And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that." He was quickly performing random moves. "And that, that, that that that that!"
SpongeBob was clapping. "Way to go, Squid! You got it!" His legs had stopped shaking.
"And then…" Squidward inhaled. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" When the last spark flew out of his vocal chords, he took a few deep breaths.
SpongeBob and Patrick winced and covered their ears.
A colossal bubble squeezed out of the wand.
Squidward was still as he gazed at the bubble. He felt like a part of his soul had just been released.
"Woooooow…." SpongeBob and Patrick's jaws dropped. After several long seconds, they managed to gather the words they were going to say.
"All right, Squid!" SpongeBob clapped faster. "That was so good!"
Patrick held out his hand towards the sky. "Squid is number one!"
"I really did it, didn't I?" Squidward's arms were akimbo. He stood on tip-toe. The vision of his neighbors leaving the neighborhood out of reverence for his skill could not leave his mind. "You guys didn't blow anything like that?"
SpongeBob glanced at the bubble and shook his head.
"I guess you can't run your business anymore," said Squidward.
"The bubblestand doesn't matter. What you did made the whole thing worth it." SpongeBob did not even glance at the quarters on the stand. He picked up the bottle and the wand. He tucked them into a pocket of his. "It was all in the technique."
"Technique? Hah!" Squidward tilted his head towards the sky. "Sponge, you think I created that..." He blew a kiss at the bubble. "Beautiful work of art with your help? Come on, it's in my genes."
"Squid's got genes! Squid's got genes!" chanted SpongeBob and Patrick.
Compared to SpongeBob's chanting, Patrick's chanting was more quiet. He frequently glanced at his bulging belly and was paying attention to the way he pronounced the chant's three words.
Squidward walked in large steps back to his tiki. The chant of his neighbors, to him, sounded like the music played at a hall of fame inauguration.
The two neighbors stopped chanting.
SpongeBob saw from the corner of his eye a distant group of jellyfish flying towards Jellyfish Fields. He looked at the giant bubble again and visualized the face Squidward had when he had screamed into the wand. "Maybe we should jellyfish for a bit, y'know? I think we've annoyed Squid too much."
"'Kay." Patrick nodded. His thoughts were already wandering to other realms.
'That's more like it.' Squidward closed the tiki's front door.
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward entered the music room and placed the music paper on the sheet stand. 'A few songs before I practice my dances wouldn't hurt.' He pushed the stand until it was near the left window. He grabbed the clarinet and opened the window. He bowed a few times with closed eyes. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." His closed eyes preserved the image of his fantastic audience.
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward's bubble swallowed the tiki.
SpongeBob and Patrick had been walking towards their homes. "Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!" They dashed towards the tiki. They leaped but their arms could not reach the bubble. The two collided and landed on the ground.
S-S-S-S-S
Squidward heard the two neighbors' yelling as a chant. "I rock." He opened his eyes. "Hello, my friends. You are looking at a…" He leaned through the open window. "...Genius." His eyes became half-closed.
Below him was a yellow speck and a pink speck."Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!" Their yelling were as loud as whispers.
The wind howled as it pushed the bubble.
Squidward flumped to the floor. His head rested on his hand. He shook his head. 'Why did I bother to blow that bubble? If SpongeBob didn't use that stupid reef blower, this whole thing wouldn't have happened.' His fist banged the floor.
S-S-S-S-S
Patrick had a brain fart. He scratched his head for a few seconds until a light bulb lit up. "We gotta save Squid!" he grabbed SpongeBob's arm. The thought of a bubble popping and a rock falling out of it slipped into his mind. "How're we gonna get him without hurting him?"
SpongeBob had an image of a bubble being stuck in a wand. "I got that covered." He slipped out of Patrick's arm, ran to the stand, and grabbed the wand. As he ran towards the bubble, he gripped Patrick's arm and pulled him forward.
S-S-S-S-S
A green worm was napping near a giant anchor home. After a minute, he opened his eyes. The chain that connected him to the anchor rattled as he slithered around the lawn. He had a collar with the label 'Mr. Doodles'.
Rusty hinges shook as a flaky wooden door opened.
"Chow." Mr. Krabs slid a bowl made out of ship metal to the worm. The bowl was full of worm chow bought from a dollar store.
The worm stuck out its tongue and briskly slithered to the bowl. He devoured the chow. When he finished, he looked up and saw the giant bubble floating above the anchor's tip. He gritted his teeth. "Bark! Bark! Bark!"
Mr. Krabs perceived that his lawn was intact. He shrugged. 'Maybe he's got one of them fleas. It'll pass.' He turned around. After Mr. Doodles barked for a few more seconds, he looked behind his shoulder and noticed the worm's upward gaze and the lack of red marks on the worm's tail. He scratched his chin. "What is it, boy?"
Mr. Doodles leaped towards the anchor's wall.
Mr. Krabs looked up and saw the bubble. "What in th' world be that?" The image of an incoming cannonball popped into his mind.
"Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!" SpongeBob was sweating profusely. He took hold of Mr. Krabs' arm and took a few deep breaths.
"Well if it isn't me sponge lad." Mr. Krabs pointed at the bubble. "Y'know what's goin' on?" The image of the cannonball faded into an image of money stacks.
"Can I enter your house, please? IneedtogettothatbubbleandrescueSquid!" SpongeBob's grip on Mr. Krabs' arm tightened.
Mr. Krabs' claws were clasped together as he stepped out of the way. 'As long as he keeps running the business smoothly.'
S-S-S-S-S
SpongeBob squeezed Patrick through the front door.
Their surroundings were blurred as they dashed up the creaky stairs.
S-S-S-S-S
Less than a minute later…
S-S-S-S-S
SpongeBob barged the ceiling door open and leaped to the balcony.
Patrick pushed himself through the opening.
Mr. Krabs followed.
The bubble inched towards the anchor's tip.
SpongeBob bit his lip and tremblingly took out his wand. He took a quick step forward and the bubble flew back by several inches. 'Gotta do this slowly.' He watched his feet as he took slow and wide steps towards the bubble. His heartbeat quickened. When he held out the wand, his hands trembled so much that he nearly dropped the wand.
"Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"
The rattling of a chain became louder with every passing second.
The chain's rattles gave Mr. Krabs an image of sharp teeth chewing on rusty steel. A light bulb lit up. He gasped. "Oh no...!" he whispered. He dashed to the ceiling door and pushed it to a close.
"BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!" Mr. Doodles banged the door with his head until he overpowered the aged crustacean. He then pounced on the bubble.
POP
CLANK
The tiki landed on the the tip of the anchor and tipped over.
"SQUIDWARD!" SpongeBob's face lost a shade of color. Gruesome images raced through his mental vision.
CRASH
The tiki rolled across the roof and landed several feet away from the anchor.
SpongeBob dove through the ceiling door and dashed downstairs.
Patrick followed.