Under the Sea (Revised)

by 999nomead

A novelization of the SpongeBob SquarePants TV show. This is the revised version of the story that had been written between 2016 and 2019. This story is incomplete and will permanently remain so.

13. Good Neighbors

Chapter 13: Good Neighbors

On the TV screen, Johnny Erain was standing before a seven day calendar with different weather icons on each day. After several minutes of discussing the movement of the clouds and the winds, the green screen changed to a satellite map of the Micronesian Republic of the Oceanic Union.

"A fog will begin to set in later on in the day. It appears that it will last for the next few days, with a few light showers ending the week."

Gary leaned towards the remote and tapped it with one closed eyestalk.

Blip

The TV turned off, leaving the living room in near-total darkness.

Light was leaking from the slits of the nearby doors, which were closed.

The patterns on the living room's walls were moving like worms and snakes.

Gary thought that the movements on the walls were caused by his vision, which the TV's lights had strained. He tucked into his shell, closed his eyes, and began to nap.

S-S-S-S-S

Several minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

The movements of the walls' tapestries had shifted. The lines now seemed like they were floating against the blue paint like lilies on a pond. The blue paint itself was bubbling like water at a boiling temperature. Whenever the 'bubbles' popped, they released glowing mists.

The particles on the sand floor were rapidly alternating between the nearly infinite colors that existed underwater. The particles were also getting pushed away in certain areas on the floor, leaving behind what looked like footprints.

BBBrrrurghuum

A sound that sounded like a mix of burping, gurgling, and the movement of slime thundered into Gary's ears.

He shot his eyestalks out of his shell. Upon seeing the commotion that was occuring in the room, he immediately shrunk his eyestalks back into the shell, hoping that he had woken up in a dream.

After a few minutes, the vein-like cavities in the shell's interior began to shift into arcane letters that Gary could not understand and poorly drawn stick figures that had heads shaped like masks.

"M-Meow~..." His meow was low and guttural.

The letters shifted into the faces of animals Gary had never seen before.

His heartbeat was now so overwhelming that he could hear it.

He arched his back and hissed.

CRREEEAAAAK

SpongeBob pushed the front door open.

The lines on the walls and particles on the floor returned to their former places. The wall paint stopped bubbling and the mists left behind faded to nothingness.

SpongeBob flicked the lights on.

Gary was shuttering inside his shell.

"Gary?"

Gary slowly moved his eyestalks and the other parts of his body out of his shell.

"It was just a nap, right?"

"Meow."

S-S-S-S-S

Patrick was sitting on the floor before the TV. With the controller in one hand, he was playing a Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy beat 'em up video game that had recently been released. He was in the middle of an advanced level. His brows furrowed as he attempted to outmaneuver the enemies that were swarming around the person he was controlling.

His controller tilted in an awkward direction as he attempted to execute several long combos.

The virtual Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy got pummeled by the enemies. They shattered into pixelated dust.

A dark screen with a laughing face of Man Ray and the words 'GAME OVER' appeared.

"Darn!" Patrick hurled the controller to the floor and folded his arms. "Why do they have to make these dumb levels so hard!" He kicked the video game's disc case to a distant corner. "Isn't this stuff supposed to be fun?"

He then ran to the kitchen and began to eat a bowl of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy branded cereal. He meditated on the crunching he was making, which soothed him.

A faint ringing coming from an unknown location gradually spread to the kitchen..

"Hm?" He twisted the tips of his stubs into his tiny ear holes. 'Maybe it's that ear infection thingy again.' He looked at the TV's audio speakers, which were emitting the background music of the 'GAME OVER' menu. 'Or maybe the TV's too loud.' He grabbed the TV remote and lowered the TV's volume.

The ringing loudened.

He then ate the cereal with stronger bites. His crunching was now louder than the ringing.

The ringing became a humming that pierced his ears.

He shoved the table forward and stood up. "Yep, it's that ear infection thingy," he muttered. He walked to the bathroom, opened a drawer, and took out a plastic bottle filled with over-the-counter medicine and other liquids that had been used as home remedies during his childhood. He took a few sips from the bottle, wincing as the liquid's bitter flavor pierced his mouth.

The humming sharpened to a distorted buzzing.

"Jellyfish?!" He ran to a wall in the living room, climbed to the ceiling, and pushed against the rock.

The rock did not move at all.

He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes to a close as his arms strained with all of their might.

The rock still did not move. Its surface was blurring.

Patrick sucked his teeth.

"Jammed."

His legs, no longer tolerating his body's weight, slipped from the wall.

WHAP

He fell back-first to the floor. He then stood up.

The TV's screen had become pitch black.

He glanced at the remote and scratched his head.

'Maybe I stepped on it by accident.'

A pause.

His mind wandered back to the buzzing, which had smoothened to the point that distinct voices could be heard.

"Look by the … Jauhfaulo… Qniamorpone…"

"It must be coming from the TV." He picked up the remote and pressed the 'ON' button.

The TV did not turn on.

He took a deep breath

"It's dead." He opened the remote's casing and took out the batteries.

The voices loudened to screams..

Patrick covered his ears. "AHHHHH!" He dashed to the shell phone and dialed SpongeBob's phone number.

The voice from the other end was muffled

S-S-S-S-S

An hour later...

S-S-S-S-S

A radio had been placed on the table in the pineapple's kitchen. It had been tuned to a station for religious music. It was playing songs from a genre that combined modern music from the surface world and folk music from the nations of the Oceanic Union.

"Oh, Vulcan, may you forge our path~" sung SpongeBob to the radio's music. He was slowly cleaning the insides of the cabinets.

Gary was peeking from the opened doorway, enthralled by the melifluousness of SpongeBob's voice.

PLOP

A dish fell to the floor without breaking.

SpongeBob stopped singing.

The pile of dishes were near the sink.

"That's odd." He picked up the fallen plate and pushed the dish pile further to the wall. "I thought they were far away enough." He quickly cleaned up the plate with soap and placed it on the pile's top. He then resumed his cleaning of the cabinets. His singing returned with a renewed vigor.

The upper cabinets rattled.

SpongeBob hopped to those cabinets and opened them.

All of the plates and cups were in their correct places.

SpongeBob leaned his head towards one side.

The radio changed to one of his favorite songs, where a slack-key guitar was being played along with a moderately paced drumbeat.

The song's catchy melody transported SpongeBob's thoughts to a place distant from the mundane world. He swayed his hips in sync to the beat. At the same time, he was wiping away dust that had gathered on the pipe below the sink.

'Maybe it was just a slip-up with the piping. A good chunk of 'em still need a little fix.'

The song reached its chorus.

"Bring us to the Elysium, Jupiter! Sweep away our souls with your winds~"

The kitchen's window began to turn like the tub of a washing machine.

SpongeBob put a finger on his lower lip as he stared at the window. He tip-toed to the window and inched his index finger towards it, seeing if it would stop upon his touch.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CREAK

S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-SLAM

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CREAK

S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-SLAM

All of the cabinets in the kitchen repeatedly opened and closed at the same time. The sounds combined with the window's thundering to give off a noise akin to a typhoon's rainfall and winds.

SpongeBob's face lost a shade of color. His trembling hands dropped the towel. For a minute, he focused on the timing of the cabinet's movements.

The drumbeat of the radio's song and the SLAMing of the cabinets were in sync.

SpongeBob ran to the radio and turned it off.

Over the course of several minutes, the cabinets and the window slowed to a stop.

"Did you see that?"

Gary gave SpongeBob an awkward stare, indicating a "No."

S-S-S-S-S

A few hours later…

S-S-S-S-S

Squidward stepped into the bathroom and flicked the light switch to 'ON'.

The bathroom remained dark. The light bulbs were shrouded in a mist that prevented any light from escaping.

Squidward sighed. His eyes were half-closed and baggy.

'Here we go again.' He grabbed his toothbrush, sloppily squeezed some toothpaste onto it, and turned on the sink.

The running of the sink water silenced his thoughts.

Shua shua shua shua shua shua

While only moving the hand holding the brush, he brushed his teeth from side-to-side.

The mirror had strands of light and luminous symbols floating across its dusty surface. After more than a minute, some of the 'dust particles' began to gathered into a shape.

Squidward knit his brows.

'This is new...'

The shape curved out to form a face identical to Squidward's.

The rest of the 'dust particles' then came into view and formed a smaller face identical to SpongeBob's.

The octopus head opened its mouth to such an extent that it looked like an alien by the time its lips surrounded the sponge head.

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

The octopus head was chomping on the sponge head.

Squidward gramced as the sound of the sponge head's broken bones echoed inside his skull. He spat out the toothpaste, rinsed his mouth with a handful of sink water, turned off the faucet, and dashed out of the room.

S-S-S-S-S

A few minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Squidward was sitting in the living room's couch with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded together. He had changed into his pajamas. He was repeatedly glancing at the old-school clock, waiting for '9:00 PM' to strike.

The magic paper was glowing dimly against the relative darkness of the living room.

A trail of thoughts that he had sealed for the past few days surged back into his consciousness and pushed away the lethargy that had remained in his mind ever since his shift at the college had ended.

'If it still has that light, why did it stop working?' He stood up and slowly walked to the paper, picked it up, and held it towards the ceiling.

The bug-like shadows that were swarming around the walls gathered towards the light on the ceiling like moths to a lamp.

Squidward bit his lip. He put a hand on his chin

S-S-S-S-S

The masked strangers surrounded them and held their spears towards them. One of them snatched the paper, shook it, widened his eyes, and then ripped it to pieces while gritting his teeth.

...

A dolphin in the middle of the group spoke. "The papers are infused with a limited amount of magical energy.

...

"Don't they work when you think really hard about something?" said Patrick.

The same dolphin spoke again. "Yep. You just gotta focus on one thing for a few moments and a spell then activates."

S-S-S-S-S

Squidward was flipping the magic paper as he looked at it from different angles.

'Could this paper have something to do with these… 'hauntings'?'

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob, while biting his upper lip and quivering from a chill that would not leave his back, tip-toed into the bedroom.

Gary was cowering inside his shell again. He was against one corner of the room.

SpongeBob twisted his mouth into an artificial grin that was betrayed by chattering teeth.

"A-Ah... Time for bed... Gary."

"M-M-Meow~"

SpongeBob looked to his right.

The tiles on the wall had warped into gruesome images.

SpongeBob's heartbeat quickened. He leaped to the bed. He pulled off his shoes and socks.

The pair of socks landed near Gary.

Gary slipped his eyestalks into the socks, shielding his vision from the wall's images. He attempted to slither towards the newspaper pile, but ended up slithering aimlessly instead. "Meow?!"

SpongeBob giggled.

"Oh, Gary."

He crouched near Gary and took the socks off of his eyestalks.

"You know what they say: curiosity salted the snail." He tossed the socks in another direction, and cartwheeled back to the bed. "Mind your wandering eye, you little mollusk." He laid down, adjusted his pillow, and put the blanket over himself. "Sweet dreams, Gary." He closed his eyes.

Gary briskly slithered to the newspaper pile and then curled back into his shell.

"Meow…"

A pause.

After enduring a few lingering thoughts, SpongeBob fell asleep.

S-S-S-S-S

A sprawling metropolis had sprung forth from what used to be Bikini Bottom. Fire and smoke bursted from the chimneys of the buildings, giving the sky a light green color. Giant rubber wheels had been half-buried in some parts of the city.

Crowds wearing clothing fitting for a punk concert had gathered around Conch Street, which had become a racetrack.

Thirteen drivers, including Patrick and Gary, had taken their places before the starting line; save for one empty spot. They were all in control of vehicles that had jagged edges and giant wheels.

A few people wearing suits and microphone headsets were sitting in a nearby tower, looking at the racetrack through the window.

"Bikini Bottom's annual racing grand prix is about to begin! All we need is one more contestant."

A mile away from the racetrack was a dark blue rock. Right next to it were a pair of closed eyes with yellow lids, a mouth that had two buck teeth, a pair of yellow arms, and a pair of socks tucked into a pair of shoes.

The pair of arms wiggled towards the rock and attached themselves to it. All of the other body parts followed suit; including the eyes, which remained closed; giving the rock a humanoid appearance.

The rock's eyes opened, revealing its blue pupils.

A pair of squarepants wandered by.

The rock laughed and put the squarepants on. The rock's surface then broke away into yellow flesh, popping SpongeBob into existence.

SpongeBob gazed at a road that was connected to the racetrack. The distant cheers of the crowd as he imagined all of the fun the racers were going to have.

SCRREEECH

SpongeBob's bed, which had wheels and was now covered in an untidy green blanket, parked next to him.

SpongeBob gasped. He stroked the hot rods connected to the bed's backside, which were emitting plentiful amounts of diesel.

"It's a lean... mean... racing machine!" His mouth contorted into a fearless smirk. "Time to put the pedal to the metal and the rubber to the road!" He hopped to the bed and clutched the steering wheel.

Vvvvvroooooommm

The bed, without SpongeBob's help, drove itself to the racetrack, SCREECHing past a few corners. It parked at the starting line's empty spot.

SpongeBob glanced in both directions; taking note of Patrick's freakishly extended tongue, Gary's bloodshot eyes, and the other distorted faces of his fellow drivers.

One of the spectators in the tower, who was wearing a purple tie, saw SpongeBob's vehicle. He raised his brow and put a hand on his chin. "There's only one word you can use to describe this, Dale."

"Yes… really cool," said Dale.

The spectator wearing the purple tie chuckled. "That's two words, Dale, but thanks for trying."

A digital monitor that had been built into the apex of the arc that had been placed over the starting line revealed a '10', and began a countdown towards '0'.

All of the contests purred their vehicles' diesel to the air.

SpongeBob leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes as he felt his bed's vibrations. Upon inhaling a whiff of the vehicle's smoke, a sudden madness violently expressed itself through his face. His eyes contorted to an unnatural narrowness and he grit his teeth so hard that cracks appeared on them.

The digital monitor reached '5'.

"Five!" said the crowd.

An abrupt trail of thoughts passed through SpongeBob's mind.

"Wait a minute." He felt all sides of his shirt and his wallet. He could not find his driver's license. His widened eyes melted away some of the contortedness in his face. "I don't have a driver's license!" His nose grew by a few inches.

"Four!"

"Don't let me down pants…" SpongeBob's tongue stuck out slightly as he dug through his back pockets.

"Three!"

Upon the first sensation of a flat, plastic surface; SpongeBob yanked his hand out of his pants. He was now holding a driver's license that had his name and his photo.

"Wow. My driver's license. I can't believe it! I sure took a good picture." His nose shrunk to its normal size. He tucked the license into the inside of his red tie.

"Two!"

The drivers purred their vehicles for one last time, making it so loud that it sounded like the thundering of a volcano. Out of all of them; SpongeBob, whose face regained its demonic expression, was purring his the hardest,

"ONE!"

The digital monitor reached '0'.

"Go~!" said the crowd and the spectators in the tower simultaneously.

SpongeBob leaned forward and slammed down on the gas pedal.

V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-VRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM

The vehicles thundered down the road, leaving behind smoky tire marks.

SpongeBob's heartbeat raced as he turned through the track's bizarre curves and dodged the various obstacles that had been placed on the road.

"I'm driving… I'm really driving! I'm driving!" He swerved past some crates that had fallen to the road and, upon entering a clear portion of the road, sped ahead.

He drove past a neighborhood that looked nearly identical to the real life version of his own. He took note of a rock that had an antenna as tall as the Krusty Krab's sign.

"Hey, Patrick's house… looking good!" He snapped his fingers towards the rock.

S-S-S-S-S

Two minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

The racetrack gradually rose to a highway that was almost as tall as some of the skyscrapers. Spikes had been scattered on certain parts of the road.

SpongeBob gulped as he approached a giant loop. As the vehicle reached the middle of the uppergoing curve, his legs began to slip from the bed's surface.

His legs flailed in the air.

The blanket flew off the mattress.

When he reached the loop's apex, he looked down.

An abyss was below the highway.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

The drivers behind SpongeBob snickered. They were rapidly catching up to him.

A slight blush melted SpongeBob's ghoulish face.

"How could I have forgotten the most important rule of driving?"

SpongeBob's bed gained speed as he reached the loop's end. He fastened the seatbelt into the buckle.

"Always wear your seatbelt." He slammed on the gas pedal harder than before.

VVVRRROOOOOOOMMMM

His car dashed far beyond the clutches of his competitors.

S-S-S-S-S

The spectators in the tower were looking at the contestants from a digital monitor that was connected to cameras floating throughout the city.

S-S-S-S-S

"Looks like the spongy guy's taking the lead!"

The electronic voice of the purple-tied spectator boomed from the speakers placed in every part of the racetrack.

The other drivers' smirks became scowls.

A driver who was wearing a rhombus-shaped mask pushed ahead of the others. After passing through the loop, he detected a sparkle coming from a crate that was lying on the road. He then leaned forward and accelerated.

CRASH

The masked driver's vehicle, which was shaped like a harpoon, rammed through the crate.

An azure glow washed over the vehicle. After a few seconds, it gathered into a giant fan that stuck to the vehicle's front.

SpongeBob glanced at the right side-mirror, saw the harpoon, and bit his lip. He steered to the left side of the road and bumped certain crates to his right, forming a thick blockade behind him.

The masked driver leaned back and pulled his steering wheel until it reached his chest.

The harpoon raised its front wheels

The masked driver opened a hidden case in the cockpit and pressed the button.

Springs that connected the harpoon's rear wheels extended.

The vehicle hopped over the crates. When it reached the clear road, the rear wheels retracted with a SNAP.

CLUNK

The harpoon landed on the road

The masked driver pressed a button that had a fire symbol on it.

C-C-C-CTHUNG

Metal panels on the harpoon's backside slid open to reveal a rocket pack.

BOOOOM

The rocket pack vomited green flames that nearly blinded the drivers behind it.

The harpoon burned down the road, catching up with SpongeBob's bed in less than a second.

The fan then disconnected from the harpoon's front and slapped the bed's backside.

HOOOOOOWWWWL

A gust erupted from the fan. It was so fierce that it left slight cuts on SpongeBob's back.

SCREEeeEEEeeeEEEECH

SpongeBob's bed flew off the road and over the edges. It spun so rapidly that SpongeBob could no longer tell if he was soaring towards another part of the racetrack or falling towards his own death.

S-S-S-S-S

The spectators in the tower gasped and crowded against the digital monitor.

S-S-S-S-S

CLANG

SpongeBob's vehicle bumped into the side of a building.

CLUNK

The bed collided against a chimney. It now spun from top-to-bottom instead of side-to-side.

BONK

The vehicle's rear landed on a portion of the highway. The bed flipped over until it landed facing the correct direction.

"Ta da~!" SpongeBob held out the peace sign.

S-S-S-S-S

The spectators in the tower clapped.

S-S-S-S-S

The masked driver, realizing that SpongeBob was now far ahead of him, slammed his fist against the cockpit.

"S'draghti oumyruelcwe." He shifted the stick to 'X'.

The harpoon's rocket packs emitted smaller, jade flames.

The harpoon sharply turned into the left part of a fork in the highway, entering a shortcut.

Nearly all of the other drivers followed suit.

S-S-S-S-S

A minute later…

S-S-S-S-S

The racetrack lowered from a highway to a road that cut right through the downtown area. Barriers and crates had been placed in certain intersections at sharp angles.

SpongeBob, while holding the steering wheel with one hand, was gracefully sliding through the sharp turns.

Tall buildings were blurring past his vision.

After observing patterns of light and colors from certain slits between the buildings, SpongeBob perceived that the racetrack had been placed in a semi-circle around the Krusty Krab.

"Hey, I can see the Krusty Krab from here!"

V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-VRRROOOOOOOOMMMMMM

S-S-S-S-S-S-SLAM

The other drivers, from a nearby ramp, landed back in the main portion of the racetrack.

C-CLANG

CRASH

C-C-CLINK

They began to crash against each other

Patrick aimed his grotesquely long tongue towards SpongeBob.

"You won't escape dis time!" He stood on the seat of his harley bike and crouched as if he was surfing.

SpongeBob furrowed his brows and smirked, regaining some semblance of his distorted face.

Pink sickle-shaped clouds gradually came into existence and converged together, covering the sky. The parts of the clouds sticking out towards the ground formed into the faces of underwater creatures.

The fires and the smoke coming from the chimneys lessened.

SpongeBob began to feel a pressure from an unknown source exerting itself on his wrists and ankles. He looked up, perceived the changes in the sky, and narrowed his eyes.

'Something's changed…'

'"Huadknf'sety skaqwiol."'

'"Hughahfqi gnhalq nvihay lfjal."'

'"Pefqyua nalughsa beaftouqlanre."'

Whispers of a distorted language entered his mind.

SpongeBob glanced at his back mirror.

The drivers looked unphased.

'Nobody heard that?!' SpongeBob glanced at the side mirror.

All of the drivers, save for Patrick and Gary, were wearing masks that were similar to the one worn by the harpoon driver.

"Uh oh," said SpongeBob.

The other drivers ceased to collide with each other. They formed into a line that was perpendicular to the road.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CRASH

Each of them broke through a sparkling crate.

Azure glows covered all of their vehicles. When the glows faded, the drivers had wildly different weapons.

V-v-v-v-v-v-vrrrrooooooooooom

They drove towards SpongeBob at the same speed. When they got close enough, all of the weapons detached themselves from their vehicles.

BOOM

SMACK

POW

P-TAFF

BIFF

GLOK

All of the weapons hit SpongeBob's bed.

SpongeBob's bed flipped through the racetrack. It passed through the finish line.

CLAnnnnnng

His vehicle bumped into the railing that separated the onlooking crowd from the racetrack.

SpongeBob, who had regained his normal face, gazed at the sky with sparkling eyes. He was no longer intimidated by its unusual shapes and swirling movements.

"If only Ms. Puff could see me now…"

Mrs. Puff, a middle-aged pufferfish, had her arms in akimbo. She pushed through the crowd towards SpongeBob.

SpongeBob sat up, took out his license, and held it out.

"Mrs. Puff, look! I've finally got my driver's license!"

Mrs. Puff shook her head and snatched the license.

"Not even in your dreams, Mr. SquarePants!"

SpongeBob's eyes moistened. He rested his chin on his hands and sighed. The image of the license remained in his thoughts.

"I should have grown a mustache..." he whispered.

S-S-S-S-S

"Disqualify him," said Dale.

The purple-tied spectator closed his eyes, sighed, and nodded. He took out a remote and pressed its button.

S-S-S-S-S

The asphalt below SpongeBob's bed slid open to reveal a giant boxing glove connected to a spring .

PONK

The boxing glove punched the bed.

The bed soared beyond the skyscrapers. After passing through the clouds, it stopped moving.

SpongeBob was hugging the mattress. When he realized that he was not feeling any sense of weightlessness, he sat up and scratched his head.

'C-Clink'

'THUD'

'"Ghehogooa? Loueqhentum xueebutak njklajeflo!"'

'"Evalokotgni?"'

SpongeBob glanced in all directions, but could not find any semblance of a figure within the pink mist.

"Is somebody here?"

The bed surrendered itself to gravity.

SpongeBob winced and hugged the bed again.

CRASH

The bed landed in an unknown alley.

SpongeBob took hold of the steering wheel and twisted the key in the 'cockpit'.

VVVVRRrrr-PTOO!

A black cloud of smoke erupted from the backside.

The vehicle became silent.

'It's broken.' SpongeBob swallowed his lips. The pressure from before intensified, causing his chest to feel like it was inside a heavy winter coat. After several seconds of observation, he turned to his right.

BOING BOING BOING

His driver's license was bouncing before him.

"There you are!" SpongeBob ran towards it while holding out both hands.

BOINNNNG BOINNNNG

The license took wide hops away from SpongeBob, going from one windowsill to a higher one.

"Hey, don't go!" SpongeBob hopped from windowsill to windowsill. He eventually reached a rooftop.

The license bounced from one rooftop to another. It dodged fire-emitting chimneys and spiky roof edges.

SpongeBob jumped towards the license on all-fours.

S-S-S-S-S

Several minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

The sky had darkened to a night black. The buildings had shriveled into the shapes of crushed cans.

"What's happening?!" SpongeBob slowed down.

The license hopped into a pitch black hole whose edges had a green glow.

The hole was sucking in all light and space near it.

SpongeBob skidded to a stop and put a hand on his chin. He poked the hole.

Amoist, rubbery, and ticklish sensation covered the tip of his finger.

He giggled and shrugged.

"Aw, what the heck?" He clapped his hands together and dove into the hole.

S-S-S-S-S

A semi-transparent SpongeBob that was not visible to the naked eye flew out of a hole identical to the one he had jumped into in the other world. Runes were orbiting the hole.

SQUEAK

He landed face-first on the floor. The familiar sensation of the sand floor caused him to slowly stand up. His vision, which had been accustomed to the bright flames of the buildings in the other world, became disoriented upon contact with the room's darkness. He squinted.

"Hey, license, w-where did you go?"

The three layers of a giant white matresses was to his left. A giant door with handle reminiscent of a ship's steering wheel was to his right.

He cupped his hands near his mouth.

"Oh, license!"

A pause.

SpongeBob looked at the ceiling and recognized its pattern.

"Where am I?"

He scrutinized the room's areas until he realized that the entire room was identical to his pineapple's bedroom save for the paranormal activity distorting its physical features. He put a finger on his lower lip.

"Is this my bedroom?"

A giant sponge that looked identical to him was sleeping on the mattress.

"Is that me?"

He poked his own stomach.

The semi-transparent SpongeBob was emanating a green glow.

"Or is this me? Am I still dreaming?" He scratched his head.

The pitch-black hole was hovering above the giant sponge's forehead.

The same type of hole, with orbiting runes, was hovering behind Gary's eyestalks.

SpongeBob walked towards Gary's hole.

"This one must be Gary's dream." He leaned towards the hole.

Gary's hole gave off noise that sounded like footsteps against a wooden floor.

"I'm gonna get a closer look." He hopped through the hole.

S-S-S-S-S

THUD

SpongeBob landed on a wooden floor that was blanketed in dust. He coughed and sneezed as he stood up.

He was in a library with shelves that stretched for miles. The tomes contained in the shelves had centuries-old covers.

"Wow! Look at all these books. I wonder where Gary is." He walked aimlessly.

S-S-S-S-S

A few minutes later...

S-S-S-S-S

"Gary-"

SpongeBob's face bumped into the back of a hooded humanoid figure who was taller than him.

The humanoid figure closed the book he had been reading. He was wearing a purple cloak.

SpongeBob stepped back and smiled crookedly. "Excuse me, sir. Have you seen..."

The figure turned around and pulled down the hood, revealing a head that was identical to Gary's body.

"SpongeBob?" He spoke in a weird accent.

"Gary?"

"So, you've come to invade the sanctity of my dreams too?!"

"What do you mean by... too?"

Gary shoved the book back into its proper place in the shelf.

"You are not the first outsider to have entered my dream world. Not too long ago, a group of hooligans wearing odd-looking masks had been tearing down my books. They were also asking me questions, and became quite irritated because I could not answer them back. They spoke a language I could not understand."

The masked driver and the strange whispers he had heard returned to SpongeBob's thoughts upon hearing the word "masks". He narrowed his eyes.

"I think they've come to my dream too."

Gary looked behind his shoulder at the pitch-black hole that was floating in the distance.

"Then my assumptions are correct. They must be, in a way, dream-hoppers."

SpongeBob held up his forearm towards his vision, searching for the particles that his green glow consisted of.

"So, how does this all work?"

"In this realm of existence, one is not tethered by earthly limitations." Gary gestured towards his cloak, emphasizing his height. "Especially when you are inside your own dream or that of someone else." He pointed at SpongeBob. "As indicated by the green glow around your body, your consciousness has escaped the confines of your own body. You are an outsider. Since I am the owner of this dream, your shape can be bent into whatever I desire. Regardless, your own thoughts will remain intact." He held out his hands towards SpongeBob and focused on the first image that popped into his consciousness.

SpongeBob transformed into a ball of yarn, with facial features intact. He bit his lip.

Gary snapped his fingers.

SpongeBob's body zapped back to its previous state.

"I could also give you the freedom to transform yourself into anything you wish, if that is what I desire. Go ahead."

SpongeBob crouched, closed his hands into fists, and shut his eyes. He then transformed into a high-heeled shoe. After a few seconds of leaning back and forward, he transformed back to his previous state.

"So… that's why you're all tall and grown-up?"

"Indeed."

"I still don't get it. How can those masked people 'hop' into someone else's dream? If they're under your control in this world, can't you just…. kick them out?"

"It's not that simple." Gary picked up a ladder, put it against another shelf, and picked up a book from a higher shelf. He then slid back to the floor and walked towards a table that had a few seats. "Come."

SpongeBob, with swallowed lips, followed Gary.

The two sat in the table, facing each other.

"I'll start with one you might know." Gary opened the book and flipped to a bookmarked page. He cleared his throat before reading the passage out loud. "There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true."

SpongeBob's chin was rested on his fist. Any attempt to connect the passage Gary had just read with the previous events scrambled his thoughts into nonsensical conclusions.

"Umm… uh…"

"Perhaps an older work is more suitable for clarification." Gary flipped to another section of the book . "Here's one by a surface-dweller known as Emily Dickinson. 'Let me not mar that perfect dream by an auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again.'"

SpongeBob tilted his head to the side.

"It's still not working."

"What both of these passages have in common is the idea that dreams are windows to another realm. The origin of the first passage I read to you was from a 19th century news report about paranormal activity in the Andes Mountains. The man happened to be sleeping in a particularly affected area, which was what caused him to be able to enter another dream. He mistakenly reported it as 'waking up at midnight', when it was clearly not. The same actions he had been doing in his own dream had merely carried over.

"In the second passage, the poet's dreams had been disturbed by the visits of other beings. She is in the same situation that I am in." He tapped one of the books on the table: 'The Laws of Magic' by Hermes Trismegistus. "Outsiders cannot get kicked out because the holes are what separate the subconsciousness of the dreamer from the more physical world. Since you cannot control the physical world while dreaming, you cannot kick them out. The leaving has to be done of the outsiders' own volition," said Gary.

SpongeBob's eyes sparkled. He giggled.

"Gee, Gary, you sure are smart."

Gary closed the book and stood up.

"Do you think my shell was full of hot air?"

"Well, thanks for the info." SpongeBob stood up and walked towards the hole. "I'm gonna leave you alone." He waved at Gary.

"Beware of their wandering eyes, you little poriferan. You may not know when they come back."

SpongeBob, as if he had hopped from a diving board, jumped through the hole back-first.

S-S-S-S-S

SQUEAK

SpongeBob landed on the bedroom's floor back-first. He stood up and leaped to the windowsill.

"I wonder what Patrick's dreaming." He puffed up his cheeks. "I can't resist!" He slipped through the window and slid across the pineapple's surface to the ground.

S-S-S-S-S

A few minutes later...

S-S-S-S-S

Patrick was sleeping with his sweaty back stuck to the rock's bottom.

SpongeBob, by sticking his fingers into the tiny caviites that had developed on the rock, was crawling towards Patrick.

The pitch-black hole was floating just below the tip of Patrick's head.

SpongeBob swung into the hole.

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob landed on his feet. Entirely surrounding him was a dark blue void.

A small door was in front of him.

Dead silence filled his ears.

SpongeBob opened the door and squeezed through its opening.

S-S-S-S-S

He entered a white void.

Patrick, with half-closed eyes, was sitting on a seahorse ride.

A toll with the slot for '25 CENTS' was next to the ride.

SpongeBob swallowed his lips.

'He must be feeling lonely.' He waved towards Patrick and stepped to him.

"Hi, SpongeBob!" Patrick turned to face SpongeBob and waved back.

SpongeBob put his hands behind his back.

"Y'know, Pat, this is a dream. You can do anything you want."

"Yup." Patrick tilted his head.

"I mean anything!" SpongeBob held out both of his hands towards the 'sky', emphasizing the endless depth of the void. "Watch. I can turn into a skyscraper." Less than a second later, his head and torso, enlarged into the shape and size of a skyscraper. His body's holes became blocky. "Going up, eh?"

Patrick tilted his head towards one side and shrugged.

SpongeBob lowered his arms.

A pause.

"I can make..." SpongeBob shrunk back to his normal size.

A million clones poured out of SpongeBob's holes. They and the real SpongeBob surrounded Patrick.

"...a million of me!" said all of the SpongeBobs simultaneously. "Eh?! Eh?!"

Patrick put a fist on his chin as he attempted to extract an idea from a mind that was almost as blank as the void surrounding him.

A pause.

Patrick sighed.

Another pause.

A light bulb lit up in Patrick's head.

All of the other SpongeBobs disappeared.

Patrick suppressed his smile by pressing his tongue with his teeth. He leaned back and laid his arms on his belly.

"Y'know, Sponge, having dreams can be kinda dull to me. It's just having a job with no money, or having a piggy back with no money inside it."

"What do you mean?"

"That's what I would say... if I was crazy!" Patrick giggled and clutched the artificial seahorse's ears.

SpongeBob giggled.

"Well, I'm going to a different dream."

"Okay. Bye, Sponge." Patrick waved at SpongeBob again.

SpongeBob returned to the blue void.

The artificial seahorse slowed to a stop. The allotted time for one use had ran out.

Patrick took out a quarter from his pocket and glanced at the distance between him and the booth.

His eyelids were growing heavier by the minute.

He then turned his body towards the slot, leaned forward, and stretched his arm towards it.

His outstretched arm trembled.

The coin slipped out of his hand

Plink

It rolled across the floor.

Patrick slid from the ride to the floor and trudged towards the quarter with both hands outstretched.

The quarter slipped into a grate on the 'floor'.

A pause.

"Shoot, that was my last quarter." Patrick returned to the seahorse ride. He allowed his chin to rest on both palms.

Another pause.

Clank

His head fell to the artificial seahorse's neck. His eyes were closed.

He was drooling.

S-S-S-S-S

An indefinite amount of time later…

S-S-S-S-S

Patrick was sleeping in the living room under his rock. He was sitting on a chair in reverse, with his head hanging over the chair's top. His limbs were limp, trapped in their awkward positions.

A thick amount of drool was pooling on the floor.

Boom

An explosion occurred miles away.

RuuuuUUUuuuuuMMmmmmble

The furniture under the rock vibrated.

The chair teetered to the floor.

Patrick shakily opened his eyes. He rolled his body off the chair and wiped the white specks that had gathered near his eyes.

The distance between the ceiling and the floor had shortened.

"Woah, that was a strange dream." He stood up

He accidentally stepped onto a remote.

The TV turned on, revealing the sweaty image of Johnny Erain.

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled static with this urgent newsflash! Bikini Bottom is threatened by Dreaded Patrick! Who can save us now? Who?!"

"The Dreaded Patrick…?" Patrick scratched his head and commenced to pace in circles, wrestling with several disjointed images and thoughts that the name brought up. However, they all eventually converged into one instinct.

"This is a job for…" He leaped towards the ceiling with both fists outstretched.

S-S-S-S-S

CREAK

The rock opened.

In mid-jump; a light blue cape fluttered to his back and tied around his shoulders, a red eyeband snuggly fit through his eyes, and his pants became light blue.

"Starfishman!" He twirled to the ground and cartwheeled to a stop.

SLAM

The rock closed.

Starfishman put his hands on his hips.

Black clouds were emerging from the cityscape miles away. Several crowds of starfish were yelling and running away from the area.

SpongeBob's pineapple and Squidward's tiki were not in sight.

"Everything looks normal… Except, nothing looks the same as it used to."

RING RING RING RING RING

There was a phone booth nearby.

Starfishman turned to the phonebooth. He glanced to his left and right.

'Might as well answer it.' He stepped into the booth and held the phone near his ear-hole. "Hello, Starfishman speaking."

"Thank goodness it's you. Dreaded Patrick's henchmen are on the loose," said a familiar-sounding electronic male voice.

"Starfishman never turns down a challenge!"

"Great, you still remember how to use all of your superpowers, right?"

"Umm…"

"Don't worry, they'll get back to your head in no time."

"Where are these bad guys anyway?"

Scowling starfish dressed in spandex suits and wearing claw-like metal gloves were emerging from posters in a nearby area.

"Oh I see." Starfishman held the phone between one side of his head and his shoulder as he cracked his knuckles.

"Go get 'em Starfishman!"

"Roger!" Starfishman slammed the phone back to its place and dashed towards the cityscape.

S-S-S-S-S

One of the henchmen lifted a police car and threw it towards a police station.

SSHATTERR

CRASH

The police car smashed through the windows of the police station.

Glass shards rained to the ground

KA-BOOOM

Fiery clouds emerged from the building.

A group of police officers were pinned to the asphalt by the feet of several henchmen. Their wrists had been tied with rope.

A male starfish wearing yellow gloves, a yellow cape, a green spandex suit, and a blue belt that had the letters 'DP' on its buckle had been ordering the henchmen with certain hand signals. After giving one more hand signal; he glanced at the street, nodded, and combed his black hair while looking at a small mirror.

One police officer, with moistened eyes and quivering lips, looked at another police officer from the corner of his eye.

"There's never a hero around when you need one," he whispered.

"Oh, look! There's one!" The police officer being spoken to tilted his head in a certain direction..

Starfishman walked to the edge of a ceiling of a nearby apartment.

"STOP!"

Starfishman's voice echoed throughout the street.

All of the henchman turned towards Starfishman. A few of them chuckled at Starfishman's costume.

Starfishman jumped and landed on the sidewalk. He pointed at the henchmen.

"If you don't wanna get hurt, free those officers and clean up that mess you made," he said.

The henchmen turned towards Dreaded Patrick.

Dreaded Patrick, without even looking at Starfishman, signaled with one hand.

One of the henchmen charged towards Starfishman.

Starfishman held up his fists, imitating the position of the characters he had seen in martial arts movies.

WOP

One of the henchmen punched Starfishman in the cheek.

BONK

The back of Starfishman's head hit the exterior wall of the apartment. He slid to the ground rear-first.

The henchman shook his head.

"He's just a show-off," he said. He then turned around.

Starfishman smiled slyly, hopped to his feet, and kicked the henchman in the groin.

"Oof!" The henchman fell to his knees.

Dreaded Patrick frowned. He signaled with both hands.

The other henchmen tossed the police officers to the side and ran towards Starfishman in separate triangle-shaped formations.

RING RING RING RING RING

'It's another phone call!' With swallowed lips, Starfishman lifted open a nearby window and dove into the building.

The henchmen awkwardly pushed themselves into the apartment's windows.

S-S-S-S-S

A few minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Starfishman lifted open a window with one of his feet and hopped to the street. He was now on the opposite side of the block. He dashed to the phonebooth and put the phone near his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Starfishman. I called to remind you of your Super Charge ability." He heard the same electronic voice from before.

S-S-S-S-S

Thunk Thunk Thunk

"Who the Hades are you guys?"

"Dear Neptune!"

Shatter

A few rooms deep into the apartment, the henchmen were squeezing through hallways, barging through wooden doors, and shoving furniture and innocent civilians out of the way.

S-S-S-S-S

Starfishman glanced at the opened window and then at his chubby, feeble-looking hand. His lips began to quiver. His feet commenced to repeatedly tap one of the booth's walls.

"Who's Starfishman? Y-You want me to go fetch him?"

"You're Starfishman!"

"Oh yeah… So how does this Super Charge thing work?'

"Start by holding your fist forward."

Starfishman closed his hand into a fist and held it towards the opened window.

"Like this?"

"Yup. Now move back the elbow of the arm you're using."

Starfishman pulled back his outstretched arm. Sparkles of bright blue energy began to encircle that arm, causing a vigor to surge through its muscles and joints.

"Is it working?"

"You got it! Now the last thing you have to is to push your fist forward again. If you wanna use the ability again, repeat the whole process."

The other end of the phone clicked, leaving behind beeps.

Starfishman stepped out of the phone booth.

CHUMP CHUMP CHUMP CHUMP

Several of the apartment's windows opened. Henchmen then squeezed themselves one-by-one

Starfishman smirked with furrowed brows. He threw a punch to the air.

BOOM

A transparent barrier that had a blue outline erupted from Starfishman's fist, pushing the henchmen back to the apartment.

CRASH

The henchmen flew through the apartment's wall, leaving holes in the shapes of stars.

Starfishman put a hand on his chin, taking his time to admire at the large amount of bricks that had fallen to the street.

"Architectural destruction, I like it," he said.

Dreaded Patrick was standing on the edge of the apartment's roof. He was gritting his teeth.

"Curses!" He grabbed an empty soda can and threw it towards Starfishman.

The soda can covered Starfishman's head, fitting snugly.

Starfishman looked up.

Dreaded Patrick wore a smirk and wagged his 'finger' towards Starfishman.

"You may have gotten lucky this time, but don't count on it," he said.

Starfishman took the cup off of his head. He licked a few of the remaining soda drops.

"Thanks for the soda!" He held out the can towards Dreaded Patrick.

Dreaded Patrick grumbled and ran towards elsewhere.

"Wait!" Starfishman climbed the apartment's wall towards Dreaded Patrick. "You forgot this!"

S-S-S-S-S

Several minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

In the shade of a stairway's exit, Dreaded Patrick was standing on a skyscraper's roof with his hands behind his back.

Before him was a wide plaza that was within the heart of the city. The nearby streets were filled with abandoned boatmobiles and other debris.

Henchmen were hauling golden statues of Dreaded Patrick towards the plaza's center. Another group was plastering posters of Dreaded Patrick on the skyscrapers' walls and the boatmobiles' windows.

"Hngh!" A pink hand grasped one edge of the roof.

Dreaded Patrick looked behind his shoulder.

Starfishman hauled the rest of his body to the roof. He stood up and wiped some sweat from his brow. He was still holding the empty soda can. He walked up to Dreaded Patrick and held out the can towards him.

"Here you go," he said.

Dreaded Patrick chuckled and shook his head.

"You have not realized how much of a fool you truly are." He grabbed the soda cup and threw it beyond the roof's edge.

"Huh?" Starfishman ran to the other side and watched the soda cup fall all the way to the street countless stories below him.

Dreaded Patrick stood next to Patrick and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you see it?" he said.

"See what?" said Starfishman.

Dreaded Patrick took hold of Starfishman's chin and moved it towards the statues being brought into the plaza.

"The whole world, not too long from now, is going to tremble before my magnificent visage… my perfect pinkness." He let go of Starfishman's chin, stepped back, and put his hands on his hips. "So, you think you have a chance against me, Dreaded Patrick?" He cackled.

Starfishman dropped his jaw upon hearing Dreaded Patrick's name. However, Dreaded Patrick's laughter shattered whatever script of cool-sounding lines and intimidating postures he had prepared for the villain.

"Why's he laughing? What's so funny? I don't get it." Starfishman glanced around but could not find a possible answer written on any of the nearby buildings and billboards. "I gotta find that phonebooth and make him tell the joke again!" He dashed to another edge of the roof, held his cape's end with both hands, and hopped off the skyscraper.

The air pushed against the cape.

Starfishman was gliding towards the ground.

Dreaded Patrick whistled shrilly.

The henchmen who had been sticking posters halted their activities and retreated to the plaza.

RRRRRRrrrrrrUUuuuuUUmMMMMmmBLE

The streets began to quake.

C-C-CLUNG

A few of the boatmobiles that had been lying on peculiar areas were tipped over.

When Starfishman's feet reached the ground, the quake caused him to fall to one side and tumble down the street. After a minute of watching his vision blur into a bumpy swirl.

Clank

Starfishman's back hit the stern of a boatmobile.

"Why're the yellow lines moving?" he said.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CLANK

Countless sewer tops shot out of their holes.

Hordes of henchmen wearing robotic armor poured out of the holes and gathered around the skyscraper Dreaded Patrick was standing on.

Dreaded Patrick executed a swift sequence of hand signals.

The armored henchmen separated into several groups of equal numbers. One group ran towards Starfishman while the other groups headed for the phone booths.

The group targeting Starfishman grabbed his limbs. Their metallic gloves then squeezed Starfishman's ankles and wrists.

"R~gh!" Starfishman grit his teeth. He heaved his torso forward and backward but could not loosen the henchmen's grip.

KLOK

One of the armored henchmen kicked the back of Starfishman's head.

Starfishman fell into a limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness. His vision faded to a hazy blur. With a goofy laugh, he allowed his tongue to hang.

The group of henchmen pinned Starfishman to the wall of a building.

S-S-S-S-S

A few minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Starfishman was still pinned by the same group of henchman.

SHATTER

A glass shard landed on the pointy top of Starfishman's head.

Starfishman opened his eyes. He then shook his head until his vision was just as clear as before.

SMASH

CLANG

The other groups of henchmen were smashing all of the nearby phone booths to pieces.

Starfishman's lips began to quiver as he dwelled on the thick fog that the numerous questions brewing in his head could not pass through.

A few of the henchman pinning Starfishman began to chuckle.

Starfishman sighed, closed his eyes, and allow his limbs and neck to dangle in the henchmen's grip.

CLUNK

CLANG

SSHATTERR

The last intact phone booth became a pile of metal and glass.

The henchmen who destroyed it wiped his hands of lingering shards.

"Phew." He put his hands on his hips.

The remains of the phone booths that littered the streets were as abundant as fallen leaves during autumn.

Starfishman kept his eyes to a close as he felt his wrists and ankles getting tugged into a certain direction. After a few minutes of attempting to keep his body in an awkward stillness, the tugging stopped.

A snap of fingers.

A pause.

A familiar whistle.

Starfishman's body remained motionless. Within his thoughts, he was praying to Athena to give him strength.

A kick to Starfishman's belly.

Starfishman opened his eyes.

Dreaded Patrick took a few steps back.

The henchmen that were not holding Starfishman were standing behind Dreaded Patrick in perfectly straight and symmetrical columns.

"So, Starfishman," said Dreaded Patrick. "How do you like the new scenery?" He picked up a glass shard and and observed how the curvy reflections of the sun's rays looked on each side.

Starfishman swallowed his lips and shrugged.

Dreaded Patrick frowned and pitched the glass shard towards Starfishman's head.

SMACK

A flat side of the glass shard hit Starfishman's cheek and then fell to the ground.

"Answer me!" said Dreaded Patrick.

Starfishman glanced at the nearby streets until some agreeable word popped into his head.

"Neat," he said.

"Well~, I hope you enjoy it because there's no way you're going to get help now. As a matter of fact…" Dreaded Patrick took out a wallet from one of his pockets, held it out towards Starfishman, and let go of the wallet's lid.

The wallet unfolded down. The last side of the wallet revealed SpongeBob's citizen ID.

Starfishman dropped his jaw. The electronic voice from the phone booths replayed in his mind; with the squeakiness, high pitch, and light-hearted tone of the voice becoming more noticeable with each replay.

'SpongeBob was helping me…'

Dreaded Patrick bared his teeth like a sea bear.

"A special group of my minions are hunting down your ally as I speak." He put back the wallet. "They'll ensure he'll disappear before you find him."

A phone that had been separated from its cord to the booth was lying on the street.

Starfishman's fondest memories of SpongeBob passed by in the blink of an eye.

'I have to tell him!' A robustness suddenly surged into Starfishman's muscles. He tugged against the henchmen that were holding his limbs.

FWOP

Starfishman kicked a henchman off of his right leg.

The henchman holding Starfishman's right arm widened his eyes. He took a step back. His grip on the arm began to falter.

Starfishman, with veins pumping in his arm, threw that henchman towards a nearby apartment.

SMASH

The henchman landed on the windowless area of the apartment, leaving behind a 'wall angel' as he peeled off to the street unconscious.

CLUNK

Starfishman, with his right fist, punched the henchman holding his left arm in the armored chest.

The henchman flew into another squadron of henchmen, bumping them over like a bowling ball colliding into pins.

WHAP

Starfishman uppercutted the henchman holding his left leg in the chin.

The henchman soared above the skyscrapers. He eventually landed in some unknown location countless miles away.

Several groups of armored henchmen surrounded Starfishman and leaned down.

C-C-C-CTHUNK

C-C-C-C-CLACK

All of the metallic armor on their backs opened to reveal laser guns.

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

A volley of pink laser shots flew towards Starfishman.

Starfishman slid to the ground back-first, lifted his legs and arms towards the sky, closed his hands into fists, and spun his body so fast that he looked like a blue and pink circle.

BAM

C-CLUNK

CLAAANG

BWAK

BOFF

CLUUUNG

CLANG CLANG CLANG

CLINK CLINK

BAM BAM BAM

BWAK WHAP

Starfishman punched and kicked the laser guns, striked the henchmen in unexpected locations, and tripped some of the henchmen to the ground; causing their laser beams to aim in unintended directions.

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

CLING CLING CLING CLING CLING CLING CLING

The laser beams coming from the misdirected laser guns hit the armor of the henchmen.

SLAM

BANG

C-CLANK

FA-FA-FA-FA-THUD

SLAM

Several of the henchmen who got hit by the laser beams fell to the ground unconscious. Those who managed to survive the volley of blasts, with faces as pale as snow, dashed towards the nearest hiding spot.

"Dammit!" Dreaded Patrick leaped to the roof of a nearby building.

BIFF

Starfishman blocked the incoming fist of a henchman who was covered in full-body armor.

Several compartments were on the chest area of the henchman's armor, with each compartment's lid being in the shape of a hexagon and having a different color.

Starfishman, whose right fist was still wrapped under the henchman's hand, aimed his other fist at the henchman's chest.

CLACK

The azure hexagon on the henchman's chest slid open, revealing a mini-gun filled with a chilly aura.

ZAAP

The mini-gun fired at Starfishman's incoming fist.

A thick amount of ice to cover the fist.

THUD

The heaviness of the ice pulled Starfishman to the ground.

WHAP

The henchman kicked Starfishman in the belly, pushing out all of the air in Starfishman's lungs.

Starfishman slipped his right fist out of the henchman's grip and began to gasp for air. His face gained a tint of blue.

BAM

The henchman punched Starfishman's left cheek.

CLANG

CLUNK

Starfishman tumbled down the street, bumping into a few abandoned vehicles along the way.

When Starfishman's body stopped moving, a group of henchmen surrounded him. A few of those henchmen had laser scars on their armor.

BAM BAM BAM

BASH BASH BASH BASH

BOMP BOMP BOMP

BOFF BOFF BOFF

The henchmen assaulted Starfishman with the hardest kicks and punches they could muster. The one with the most injuries from the lasers grabbed Starfishman's right foot.

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

The henchman repeatedly swung Starfishman to the ground.

A few bruises welled up on Starfishman's face.

In the middle of another of the henchman's swings; Starfishman swiftly held out his fist, pulled back the elbow of the arm he was using, and pushed his fist forward again.

BOOM

A transparent barrier erupted from Starfishman's fist, pushing the henchman towards a convenience store.

SHATTER

The henchman fell through a window and collapsed into an aisle.

Starfishman grabbed one of the henchmen by the leg, lightly tossed the henchman towards the sky; and, with perfect timing, pushed forward a Super Charge fist.

BOOM

S-S-S-SLAM

C-CLUNK

The barrier pushed the henchman towards the other henchman.

S-S-S-S-SLAM

The henchmen fell to the street.

They tumbled towards a fuel engine of an abandoned truck.

KA-BOOOMMM

The truck's fuel engine exploded.

The henchmen flew across the city while burning with bright flames.

Starfishman put his hands on his hips and glanced at his surroundings.

No other henchmen within his vicinity save for the one wearing full-body armor.

CLACK

The red hexagon on the fully armored henchman's chest slid open, revealing a mini-cannon that had two holes aligned vertically.

BRRRRRRRM

The lowermost hole sucked in the fire coming from the truck's broken engine.

Starfishman held his fist forward, pulled his elbow back, and furrowed his brows.

PFFFFOOOOOOOO

Flames erupted from the uppermost hole of the henchman's mini-cannon.

A few embers touched Starfishman's cape, igniting it.

"Yikes!" Starfishman hopped in circles.

The fire on his cape to grow larger.

The henchman smirked. He aimed the mini-cannon towards the cape, feeding its fire.

Starfishman spotted a fire hydrant. He grinned, leaped to the fire hydrant, grabbed both of its handles, and yanked it from the sidewalk.

A torrent erupted from the sidewalk.

Starfishman turned his back towards the spout and took a step back.

SIIIZZZLE

The water put out the fire on his cape.

Starfishman took a deep breath.

"Ah…"

BAM

The henchman punched Starfishman in the forehead.

The torrent pushed Starfishman upward.

BOING

Starfishman's head bounced off a flag hole upon reaching the top of the torrent.

SHATTER

Starfishman's body broke through a window and entered a room that was entirely dark save for flickering light bulbs.

THUD

Starfishman fell to the tiled floor back-first.

Surrounding him was a forest of tables and chairs. Nearby was a dance floor. Cups and the unsavory drinks they contained were littered throughout the abandoned nightclub.

The armored henchman climbed through the broken window and leaped towards Starfishman.

Clack

In mid-jump, the yellow hexagon on the henchman's chest slid open, revealing a thin metal rod.

Starfishman cocked a brow and stood up.

Tup

The henchman landed on the floor and leaned back like an olympic runner ready to start a race.

A tiny spark appeared on the metal rod's tip.

Starfishman stuck out his tongue from one side of his mouth, held his right fist forward, and pulled it back.

"You won't get me this time!" he said.

An aura with a blue outline materialized around Starfishman's fist.

CLINK

The metal rod flashed a light that was nearly as bright as the sun's.

Starfishman covered his eyes with both hands.

The aura around his right fist dissipated.

Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump

The room was vibrating from the henchman's footsteps.

The henchman lowered his head, aiming his armored helmet at Starfishman's torso.

Starfishman received the henchman's headbutt. His body spun as he flew across the room,

C-CRUNK

SMASH

Several chairs and tables broke.

CRASH

Starfishman collided with the DJ station.

The audio speakers disconnected from their cords and shattered into pieces upon contacting the dance floor.

The armored henchman slowly walked towards Starfishman. When he got a few feet away from him, he felt a series of buzzes in the collar area of his body armor. He clicked a button that was right below his neck.

Dreaded Patrick's hologram appeared from the button. He was grinning.

"You'd better give up, Starfishman." The hologram pointed at the cuts and bruises that Starfishman's belly had gathered. "If you do not immediately surrender yourself to my will, you will only move closer to death."

Starfishman's vision was swirly and multi-layered, causing him to perceive that multiple Dreaded Patricks were standing in front of him.

"Which one's the real you?"

Dreaded Patrick cackled and the henchman chuckled.

The hologram pointed at Starfishman's headband.

"Just as real as your so-called 'secret' identity."

Starfishman blanched. His thoughts converged back to a smooth stream. His vision was no longer blurry. He squeezed his body out of the broken DJ station and pulled out all of the tiny plastic shards that were stuck on his butt. He opened his mouth but then closed it as a light bulb lit up in his head.

'He's tricking me!' Starfishman adjusted his headband, put his fists on his hips, and wore a stoic frown.

"What're you talking about?" he said.

"You're Patrick Star. You are currently unemployed and live at 120 Conch Street."

Starfishman swallowed his lips.

Toot

Starfishman farted.

"Wanna give up now?"

Starfishman slowly shook his head.

Dreaded Patrick scratched his chin.

A pause.

A light bulb lit up in Dreaded Patrick's head.

"I'll be right back." The hologram turned towards the henchman and snapped its fingers.

The henchman clicked the button.

The hologram returned to the henchman's suit.

From the speaker on the button, which was still turned on, the rustling of items and the yelling of commands could be heard.

The henchman whistled while glancing at the scenery.

The rustling ceased upon Dreaded Patrick saying: "Aha!"

The henchman's body armor buzzed again.

The henchman clicked the button.

The hologram materialized. He held out a plate of freshly baked cookies towards Starfishman.

"Are you still sure you don't wanna surrender?" He alternately raised and lowered his eyebrows.

Starfishman took a few steps towards the hologram, attempting to sniff the holographic cookies it was holding. However, all he could smell was plain air and the pungent smell from the spilled drinks.

"I can't smell it."

Dreaded Patrick put a hand on his hip.

"Do you still want to try them?"

Starfishman put a hand on his chin.

"What's in them?"

"Mint, chocolate chips, peanut butter, almonds, and a dash of coconut."

Starfishman gagged as he imagined what the flavors Dreaded Patrick had stated would taste like if combined.

"Almond and mint in one cookie? There's no way I'll eat that!" He raised his fists. "That's the most evil combination of flavors I've ever heard."

Dreaded Patrick's eyes became half-closed.

"Finish him off." He threw the plate of cookies towards a location outside of the hologram's projection and stomped in a certain direction.

The henchman clicked the button, returning the hologram to his suit. He then flicked a switch on the tiny metal rod.

CTHUNG

The tiny metal rod retracted.

C-CLACK

A slightly thicker metal rod took its place. It began to glow light-yellow.

Starfishman closed his eyes and ran around the henchman, allowing his ears to be his eyes. He widely swung his left arm.

BAM

Starfishman hit the back of the henchman's head from behind, pushing the henchman forward.

Pooooooooooooffff

A thick green fog erupted from the metal rod.

Starfishman was outside the fog's range.

CLUNK

Starfishman elbowed the henchman into the fog.

CRASH

The henchman fell onto a wooden table, breaking it to countless pieces. He then jumped to his feet and glanced around. However, the thickness of his own fog prevented him from spotting Starfishman.

BOFF

BONK

CLAAANG

CLINK CLINK CLINK

BANGBANGBANGBANG

Starfishman, with his eyes still closed, unleashed a swift sequence of punches on the henchman's face and torso; leaving behind dents in the henchman's armor.

BIFF

Starfishman uppercutted the henchman with both arms.

The henchman twirled across the room.

SSSSHATTERRRR

The henchman broke through a counter and the shelves of drinks behind it.

A shower of bottle shards, liquor, and pieces of wood covered the henchman.

The liquor seeped into his armor.

ZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzZ

Sparks and smoke arose from the armor.

The henchman frowned, shook off liquid and the shards and liquid, and attempted to heave his body towards Starfishman.

The yellow hexagon on his armor opened again, with the thinner metal rod getting pushed forward.

Starfishman, who had been catching up during the henchman's daze, kicked the metal rod towards the henchman's head.

POOOOOOOooooffff

The metal rod ejected a thick and ashy fog towards the henchman's face.

The henchman coughed and wheezed. He attempted to wave away the fog with both hands.

Starfishman covered his tiny nostrils with his left hand, held out his right arm towards the henchman, stepped behind the henchman, pulled his right arm back, and pushed his right arm forward.

BOOM

Starfishman's Super Charge hit the henchman directly in the chest.

CRACK

The yellow hexagon broke. The metal rods to stop functioning.

The henchman flew to the opposite side of the room.

CRRRASSSH

The henchman's body flew through the brick wall and landed on a street.

The smoke coming from his armor darkened.

Starfishman dove through the star-shaped hole and landed before the fallen henchman.

CRIICK

CRRICK

CRICCK

CRRACCK

Starfishman stomped the henchman's chest several times with all of the remaining strength in his legs, breaking the other hexagons on the armor.

ZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz

All of the hexagons ceased to function.

The henchman, who was sweating profusely and had furrowed brows, became unconscious.

Starfishman raised his foot from the armor and shook off the metal shards that were stuck to his ankle. He took his time to marvel at the dents and cracks he had left on the armor. When his eyes became satiated, he turned his gaze to his right hand. He slowly opened and closed a few times, admiring the blisters on his knuckles and the calluses on his palm.

"Wow, that actually felt pretty good." He turned towards the disconnected phone, which was still lying on the street a block away from him.

CTHUNG

The armor, from one large crack, ejected a small strip of metal.

Starfishman prodded and sniffed the metal strip until he noticed that it was not hot. He then picked it up.

The metal strip had a sequence of numbers: '64283993'.

"Is this SpongeBob's phone number?" He turned the metal strip in several angles but could not find an answer to any of the questions brewing in his head. "Might as well try." He ran to the disconnected phone and picked it up.

The disconnected phone did not have a number-pad.

Starfishman sucked his teeth. He was preparing to fling the metal strip to the ground until he perceived, by looking at the street signs at a nearby intersection, that he was standing on Conch Street.

"Oh, yeah~." He tossed away the disconnected phone and put the metal strip into one of his pockets. "I'll just go see him directly." He ran down the street.

S-S-S-S-S

Ten minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Starfishman skidded to a halt.

Squidward's tiki and SpongeBob's pineapple had an unusual flatness.

He raised a brow.

"I guess Dreaded Patrick did something to our houses. Maybe Sponge is still alive." He jogged to the pineapple.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"SpongeBob?"

No response.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"SpongeBob?!"

The pineapple, which was as flat as a paper, teetered to the ground.

Starfishman held an edge of the pineapple and shook it.

It had the exact consistency of paper.

"It's paper…" He bit his lip and let go of the pineapple. He glanced around. "He's not at home…"

Nearby were several electricity poles that had been plastered with many Dreaded Patrick posters.

Starfishman walked up to one of the poles.

The text that were below the pictures of Dreaded Patrick consisted of symbols that looked like primitive stick figures of bipedal animals.

"Something's different…" He narrowed his eyes.

A flash of light passed from the left corner of Starfishman's vision.

Starfishman turned to his left.

Several searchlights were moving in circles in the downtown area of the city. All of them had Starfishman's symbol.

'I'll find SpongeBob eventually. I gotta save the other citizens first.' He cracked his knuckles and ran towards the searchlights' location.

S-S-S-S-S

Fourteen minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Five activated headlights had been placed on a sidewalk.

Starfishman stopped.

There was no henchman or citizen in sight.

"That's weird. Normally, when lights like those are turned on, that means somebody needs my help."

The sky was dark purple with orange stripes instead of being pink with blue flowers.

Starfishman felt a chilly aura enveloping his body.

'Isn't Dreaded Patrick only good at fighting?'

The skyscrapers were becoming taller. The corridors between the skyscrapers had shadows that were twisting into odd shapes.

"I guess he's more powerful than I thought."

B-B-B-B-BLIK

The five headlights turned off.

A darkness with purple tinges shrouded Starfishman.

Starfishman held his left arm forward and pulled it back, causing a blue-outlined aura to surround his left fist. He then lowered his legs into what he thought was a proper fighting position. He slowly turned 360 degrees, preparing himself to fight the henchmen he imagined would pop up from any corner. When he finished his 360 degree turn, he held his position.

S-S-S-S-S

Several minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Starfishman's limbs were trembling. His muscles had been tightened so much that sharp pains were all over his body.

PLOP

Starfishman fell back-first to the ground. He p closed his eyes and allowed his ears to observe his environment.

A few pieces of trash blew in the breeze.

'I guess the minions aren't looking for me anymore. Maybe they're too scared.' He opened his eyes and hopped to his feet.

He now faced a metallic wall.

Behind the wall were several sparkles.

Starfishman walked towards the wall.

As he drew closer to the sparkles, the chilly aura returned to his body.

A light bulb lit up in his head.

'He's trying to hide something!' He felt the wall's surface.

The wall was not made out of paper.

While thinking about how to traverse the wall, he held his right leg forward and swung it back.

A blue-outlined aura began to surround Starfishman's foot.

Starfishman widened his eyes and nearly fell to the floor. He then held his right leg forward again and slowly brought it back. He glanced at the wall and another light bulb lit up in his head.

"Last time I ran at a wall, Squidward laughed at me. But I think it'll be different this time." He put his right foot forward.

BOOM

The transparent barrier that erupted from his right food caused him to quickly gain speed.

CLANK

The metal wall fell flatly to the ground, revealing a golden statue of Dreaded Patrick that had unusually-colored sparkles surrounding it.

On the statue's pedestal was a small blue electronic screen and a keypad.

SKIIIiiiid

Starfishman slowed to a stop, leaving behind a pair of smoky trails.

A pause.

Starfishman leaned forward and scratched his chin.

Eight tiny lines of equal length were flashing on the electronic screen.

"Hmmm…" He knocked his head with both fists and paced in circles. His pacing gradually quickened as he dug deeper through his memories.

Clink

The metal strip fell to the ground.

Starfishman picked up the metal strip. His stream of thoughts quickened.

"It's the password!" He ran back to the statue and inputted '64283993'.

BING

The electronic screen became yellow.

CLACK

The statue slid backwards, revealing a stairway that led to a dimly lit hallway.

"This must be Dreaded Patrick's lair," whispered Starfishman. He cracked his neck, took a deep breath, and entered the stairway.

S-S-S-S-S

CLACK

The statue returned to its previous position.

'Guess I can't go back.' Starfishman tip-toed down the stairs.

The stairs creaked with his steps.

The stairway ended in a hallway.

The floor below the last step was tileless. It was faintly reflecting the bright ceiling lights.

Starfishman tremblingly took a step onto the floor.

Skeet

His foot slid against the floor.

'Is this an ice rink?' He broke his fall by leaving a hand on the last step. He then stood up and repeatedly tapped the floor with both feet.

No water droplets formed below his feet.

'This can't be ice. It would've broke by now.'

The hallway was so long that its end seemed like a dot in the middle of intersecting lines.

He held his left leg forward and then held it back.

'Guess this'll come in handy.' He slightly stuck out his tongue and held his left leg forward again.

Without falling to the floor, he slid down the hallway.

When his speed slowed to a stop, he repeated the same process with his right leg. When he stopped again, he alternated between legs until he reached the hallway's end.

S-S-S-S-S

Five minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

A pink dot in the distance had grown into one of Dreaded Patrick's goons.

Starfishman's heart skipped a beat.

The henchman had his hands behind his back. He was standing in the middle of an intersection. In a circular motion, he was glancing at the four hallways surrounding him.

Starfishman clung to one side of the hallway.

The henchman turned towards the hallway to his right. His back now faced Starfishman.

A light bulb lit up in Starfishman's head. He smirked, held his right leg forward, held it back, and held it forward again.

BOOM

BIFF

"Oof!"

The henchman grabbed his crotch area, which Starfishman hit from behind with his extended right foot.

THUD

The henchman fell to the floor head-first, reeling from the sharp pain.

BAM

Starfishman punched the henchman's head.

The henchman became unconscious.

Starfishman glanced at all of the hallways save for the one behind him. Upon glancing at the left hallway for the second time, he perceived a green light at the left fork down the hallway.

'That must be where Dreaded Patrick's keeping his weapons. If I can disable them, he won't be able to harm more citizens.' He slid down the hallway and took a turn into the left fork.

Lined up on both sides of the hallway, contained in glass cylinders filled with bright green cylinders, were robots, machine parts, non-sentient sea creatures, clones of sentient fish; and kidnapped citizens, with clothes in tatters.

The living beings were unsteadily breathing from the nutrients the ooze provided.

Starfishman's face blanched.

"T-The… the fiend!" His hands closed into trembling fists.

"Isn't it lovely?"

Starfishman turned to the voice's direction.

Dreaded Patrick was standing many steps down the hallway. He was displaying a smirk.

"More like chthonic." Starfishman pushed both of his fists forward and then pulled them back.

Dreaded Patrick clapped.

"I see your vocabulary is improving." He pointed towards Starfishman's arms while making strange gestures with his other hand. "However, I don't think it's very wise of you to do that."

"Hm?" Starfishman slightly lowered his limbs.

Two henchmen appeared out of nowhere and jumped towards Starfishman. Each henchman grabbed one of Starfishman's gloves.

C-CTHUNG

Long metal strips were spilled from their gloves, forming cuffs on Starfishman's wrists and ankles.

THUF

Starfishman fell to the floor back-first.

The henchmen picked up Starfishman and carried, with one holding his head and the other holding his feet.

Dreaded Patrick walked at the henchman's pace.

"My victory is guaranteed, Starfishman. No matter how many of my underlings you defeat, I will always be one step ahead of you."

Starfishman attempted to wrestle against the handcuffs.

The henchmen squeezed harder on the cuffs.

Heavier metal strips were ejected from their gloves. The strips wrapped around the cuffs.

"Rgh!" Starfishman shut his eyes as he reeled from the pain that stabbed his ankles and wrists.

'My bones might break if they make it anymore tighter. I'll just be quiet for now and beat him up later.' Starfishman closed his mouth.

Dreaded Patrick and the henchmen reached a large metal double door.

Dreaded Patrick chuckled as he watched Starfishman's quivering face, which looked like a dried-up fruit.

"As a matter of fact, I'm glad you've made it." He pressed a bright button that was right next to the elevator's door.

Fweeeeeeee

DIN

The elevator reached their floor nearly half-a-minute later.

S-SHIMMMMM

C-CLANK

The double door slid open, revealing a squadron of henchmen who were standing in formation within the elevator's brightly lit and spacious room.

Dreaded Patrick and the two henchmen holding Starfishman entered the elevator.

S-SHIMMMMM

C-CLANK

The double door closed.

Dreaded Patrick, from among a panel of hundreds of tiny buttons, pressed the button for the 200th floor.

"You're just in time to see the culmination of all my hard work."

S-S-S-S-S

Three minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

S-SHIMMMMM

C-CLANK

Dreaded Patrick and his henchmen, with Starfishman in tow, stepped out of the elevator.

Yawning before them was a laboratory filled with dozens of scientists wearing coats that had Dreaded Patrick's symbol on their backs. Some of them were typing into computer screens and monitors that were so large that they nearly reached the ceiling. Others were scuttling to different areas in the room, taking notes of combustible material being tested.

Starfishman opened his eyes.

The strange symbols he had seen on the Dreaded Patrick posters were quickly scrolling down the computer screens as lines of code.

'Is Dreaded Patrick using magic?'

Dormant jets were lying on the glass ceiling.

'That's probably how he changed the sky's color.'

Dreaded Patrick and his henchmen pushed through a few herds of scientists until they reached a double door that took up more than half of the laboratory's east wall.

Dreaded Patrick turned towards Starfishman. He stepped backwards to a panel and pressed a large button.

"Behold!"

S-SHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMM

The double door rumbled as it slid open.

Before them was a chamber. The chamber's center consisted of a large hole in the floor guarded by a railing. Within that hole was a rocket.

Tied with rope to the rocket were Starfishman's mother and SpongeBob, who were wearing nothing but their underwear.

SpongeBob grinned and attempted to jump in place. However, the rope made him look like he was slithering like a worm.

Starfishman's mother's eyes moistened.

"Neptune has answered my prayers," she said.

Surrounding the rocket were a group of henchmen that stood out from the rest due to the oval-shaped masks they were wearing. All of them were watching Starfishman's mother.

Starfishman dropped his jaw again.

"Mom? Sponge...? Huh?"

The sight of two of his beloved, combined with the sense of deja-vu given by the masked henchman, made him aware that he was dreaming.

Dreaded Patrick's voice reigned back Starfishman's thoughts

"These two fortunate souls are about to become the first sea-dwellers to ever reach space." Dreaded Patrick leaned against the rocket railing and raised a 'finger'. "That is, if you refuse to accept me as the Oceanic Union's new ruler."

Starfishman closed his eyes. He began to rhythmically move his wrists and ankles up and down against the cuffs.

A blue aura gathered around his hands and feet & gradually brightened as he repeated the movements.

Dreaded Patrick walked up to Starfishman and leaned towards his face.

Only a few centimeters now separated them.

"I will give you one more chance. If you give up the fight, I will release your friend and your mother and send them back to their homes unharmed. But if you don't accept my offer, I will send them to space. The lack of oxygen outside of this planet's atmosphere will kill them. What do you choose?"

The blue aura began to seep into Starfishman's muscles, causing them to bulge.

"Saving them!"

C-CLANG

With one forceful push, Starfishman broke the cuffs into several pieces.

T-Thunk

The shards of metal pierced through the spandex covering the two henchmen's shins.

""Ow~!"" The two henchmen grabbed their stabbed shins and, letting go of Starfishman, fell to the floor.

Starfishman leaned his head forward, leaned it back, and leaned it forward again.

P-PEEEEEEEEEEWW

Each of his eyes shot forth a blindingly bright laser beam.

CRICKLE

The two lasers directly hit Dreaded Patrick's hair, igniting it.

Dreaded Patrick dashed towards the nearest emergency shower.

BOFF

BONK

Starfishman kicked the two stabbed henchmen on the backs of their heads, knocking them out.

RRRUMMMMBLE

The other non-masked henchmen gathered into one group and stampeded towards Starfishman.

BOOM

Starfishman pushed a flank of the henchmen back through a Super Charge punch.

SHATTER

One of the henchmen landed on a computer screen.

ZZZzzZZZZZ

Electricity leaked from the screen's cracks.

The computer screen stopped displaying color.

The scientists in the laboratory turned towards the open chamber with widened eyes.

One of them then pressed a blue button that was below the largest computer screen.

F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-FLANK

The computers and monitors in the laboratory quickly fell into compartments that were directly underneath them.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CTHUNG

Metal lids then closed the remaining rectangular holes.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM

BWOK BWOK BWOK BWOK

BIFF

THUD

SLAM

BAM BAM BAM BAM

The henchmen and Starfishman furiously exchanged punches and kicks. If an opportunity was available, Starfishman would trip one of the henchmen to the floor and knock him out.

P-PEEEEEWWWWWW

Starfishman fired another pair of Super Charge lasers.

The lasers were thicker than the previous ones.

S-S-S-S-SLINK

The lasers grazed against the henchmen's spandex suits, leaving behind burn marks on their exposed skin.

"""""Oof!"""""

T-T-T-T-THUD

Meanwhile, the masked henchmen had their hands raised towards the heavens. They were moving in a circle and chanting an incomprehensible language. After several seconds of performing that ritual, stones engraved with the strange symbols from before floated out of their hands.

The stones transformed into a horde of worms.

""""Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!""""

Foam leaked from the worms' mouths. They swiftly slithered towards Starfishman.

"Sorry, I don't have any wormy treats." Starfishman took a few steps back.

BOOM

SLAM

Using his Super Charge kick, he hit a worm on its jaw.

That worm collided with another worm.

SNAP

One worm nearly bit Starfishman.

Starfishman bit his lip.

BWAK BWAK BWAK BWAK BWAK BWAK

BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF

"Grrrr!"

BAM

"Yelp!"

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP

Starfishman fended himself p by kicking and punching away the worms and henchman charging towards him. As the flow of defensive blows quickened, he gradually led them away from the rocket.

S-S-S-S-S

Siiiiiiiiiiiizzle

Dreaded Patrick's hair smoked after the emergency shower was over.

He took out his pocket mirror and looked at his reflection.

His hair was now ashy and sticking out in awkward spots.

SHATTER

He threw the mirror to the floor.

"Now he's done it!" He ran into the rocket chamber's entrance.

S-S-S-S-S

Dreaded Patrick's hair extended countless times its initial length. It tightly wrapped around Starfishman's body and dragged him into the laboratory.

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

SLAM

Dreaded Patrick's hair swung Starfishman to opposite sides of the laboratory.

Starfishman's vision blurred and twisted as his head endured the countless blows from the floor. Losing the countless stratagems that were running through his brain, he forgot who he was fighting and how he ended up in Dreaded Patrick's lair.

"Hee! Hee! Hee!" giggled Starfishman. "Wee~!" He held out both of his arms as the hair dragged him to a side of the room.

The masked and non-masked henchmen gathered together, whispered to each other, and then split off into two groups. Each group had masked and nonmasked henchman.

The worms joined both groups.

Each group moved to an opposite side of the laboratory.

Dreaded Patrick gave a quick string of hand signals.

All of the minions, including the worms, nodded.

The hair tugged Starfishman towards one group.

SLAM

BAM BAM BAM BAM

BOFF BOFF BOFF BOFF BOFF

The henchman punched and kicked Starfishman's belly.

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP

The worms slapped Starfishman's face with their tails.

PFOOB PFOOB PFOOB PFOOB PFOOB

The masked henchman released orange balls of aura that exploded into blue smoke.

Burn marks appeared on Starfishman's belly and back.

While inside the cloud of blue smoke, Starfishman could not breathe.

"Mmm! Mmm!" Starfishman dragged his lips but could not open them.

The hair dragged Starfishman to the other group.

BOFF BOFF BOFF

The non-masked henchman punched Starfishman in the face.

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP

The worms attempted to bite Starfishman but only managed to chomp off parts of his cape.

BANG BANG BANG BANG

The masked henchman released grey balls of foam that left misty trails.

The grey balls exploded.

SLAM

Starfishman hit the ceiling back-first. His back then slowly peeled back to the floor.

Dreaded Patrick ran towards the spot Starfishman was falling towards.

BIFF

Dreaded Patrick uppercutted Starfishman on the stomach.

Starfishman grit his teeth and shut his eyes as he endured the burning pain on his torso. After he landed on the floor, he tremblingly got to his knees.

"Patrick!"

Starfsihman turned towards the rocket chamber.

SpongeBob was attempting to gesture within the confines of the rope.

"Don't forget your cartwheel ability!" he said.

Starfishman hopped to his feet and ran towards the rocket. His mind began to regain its former state.

"How do I do that?"

"Spin your body against the air, not the floor." SpongeBob outstretched his limbs to imitate the shape of a star.

Starfishman held out a thumbs-up and turned towards Dreaded Patrick.

P-PEEEEEEWWWWWWW

A pair of Super Charged lasers were fired on Dreaded Patrick's lengthened hair, igniting it again.

"Aa~h!" Dreaded Patrick pulled his hair away from Starfishman.

His hair grew flaky from the flames, splitting in two.

Starfishman kicked away the hair lingering on his body.

Dreaded Patrick retracted his hair back to its normal size.

His hair now looked like a pom-pom.

"You'll never stop me, you five-pointed... fathead!" He raised his fists.

A bright purple aura began to gather around each fist.

Starfishman lifted his body with his hands on the floor. He then handsprung towards Dreaded Patrick. As he accelerated, the time between hands and feet touching the floor evened out to the point where Starfsishman looked like a spinning pink circle.

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP

Starfishman's head, hands, and feet hit Dreaded Patrick.

CLANNNNNG

Dreaded Patrick's back hit a wall.

Starfishman slid his back across the floor while preserving his cartwheeling.

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP

Starfishman pushed through the henchman and worms.

SLAM SLAM SLAM

T-THUD THUD

A few of them collapsed to the floor.

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

Most of the others bounced against the room's walls like ping-pong balls.

Starfishman cartwheeled in place as the worms and henchman bounced back to him.

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP

All of them got hit by Starfishman's spinning fists.

Piles of minions and worms collapsed to the floor around Starfishman.

BANG

Dreaded Patrick kicked Starfishman's lower back.

CLING CLANG CLUNK

Starfishman tumbled across the metallic floor.

BLAK BLAK BLAK BLAK BLAK BLAK

Dreaded Patrick kicked Starfishman towards the entrance like a soccer ball.

Starfishman, in mid-spin from a kick, aimed a retracted fist at Dreaded Patrick.

BOOM

Starfishman's Super Charge punched Dreaded Patrick directly in the face.

BONK

Dreaded Patrick fell flatly to the floor, with the back of his head receiving the brunt of the impact.

A shock spread throughout Dreaded Patrick's body.

"Now you're the one seeing stars!" Starfishman wagged a 'finger' before running towards the rocket.

Dreaded Patrick slapped his belly with both hands, canceling the shock's vibrations.

"How is this chubby cerise clot managing to thwart me?" He charged towards Starfishman, held out his left fist, held it back, and held it forward again.

BOOM

A transparent barrier that had a wobbly surface and a violet outline pushed against Starfishman.

CLUNG

Starfishman's belly hit the rocket's railing.

"H-He can use it too?" Gasping for breath, he looked up at the chamber's jagged and rocky ceiling.

SpongeBob, while pointing at his foot, motioned a kick.

Starfishman snapped his 'fingers' and leaped to his feet.

"Right!" He hopped towards Dreaded Patrick on his left foot while preparing the Super Charge with his right foot.

BO-

CLUNG

Starfishman's Super Charged foot hit Dreaded Patrick's crotch but rebounded from Dreaded Patrick's metallic underpants, breaking the barrier the Super Charge had built.

Dreaded Patrick chuckled and prepared a Super Charge with his right fist.

CHOMP

Starfishman bit Dreaded Patrick's right fist.

"Ow~!" Dreaded Patrick elbowed Starfishman away. He held his right fist until the pain subsided. He then removed his right fist's glove.

Red teeth marks scarred his knuckles.

"My beautiful hand… ruined…"

SLAM

Starfishman headbutted Dreaded Patrick.

Dreaded Patrick hit the rocky ceiling back-first.

The ceiling's jagged edges pierced through Dreaded Patrick's spandex suit.

Stings spread over his back.

He attempted to wrestle his way off the ceiling, but the deepness of the wounds and the spandex hanging on to the ceiling's edges prevented him from falling off. He gulped as he vainly fought back the tears forming in his eyes.

"I'll teach that barnacle head," he whispered as he took out a remote from his pocket. He pressed the remote's big red button.

BEEEEEP

The screen of a nearby monitor came to life, showing a time countdown that started with '20' seconds. It counted down a second with each BEEP.

Several sweatdrops ran down Starfishman's forehead. He glanced at SpongeBob and his mother.

"Must stop the rocket… and get them dressed… but how?"

BOOM

Dreaded Patrick unleashed another Super Charge punch.

Starfishman held out his limbs into a star shape and stuck out his belly.

The blast bounced off his belly.

GROOOOOAAANNNNNNNN

The walls of the nearby laboratory rattled from the blast.

The masked henchman's limbs stirred.

Starfishman jumped to the rocket and clung to its ladder.

BOOM

Starfishman threw a Super Charge punch.

BOOM

Dreaded Patrick aimed his Super Charge punch towards the incoming barrier.

The two barriers collided into each other and cancelled out.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Starfishman and Dreaded Patrick exchanged a volley of Super Charge punches.

RRRRRUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMBBBLLE

A pseudo-earthquake spread throughout the lair.

C-C-C-CRRAAAAAAAAAAASH

Several rocks fell from the ceiling.

THUD

Dreaded Patrick landed on the floor standing up.

BEEP

'15' seconds.

The masked henchman rose to a stand with their backs unnaturally arched. Their eyes were glowing. They then got onto all-fours and slowly crawled towards the chamber. They then gathered around the rocket chamber's entrance in a semi-circle and stopped.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The metal lids covering the rocket's exhaust holes fell into the abyss below the rocket.

Smoke began to leak from the rocket's holes.

Dreaded Patrick activated a Super Charge kick.

BWOK

The foot wrapped in the purple aura hit the hand Starfishman was using to cling to the rocket.

SLAM

Starfishman lost hold of the rocket and fell to the chamber's floor.

Dreaded Patrick leaped from the rocket to the floor, landing with a quiet tap. The corners of his smile ended in jagged lines and dug deep into his cheeks, as if an otherworldly being had molded his face. His blown out hair swayed against the gas the rocket was emitting.

"Do you feel it, Starfishman?" The pupils in his eyes dilated to the point where tiny white dots could be seen floating around in them.

Starfishman gulped and sat up.

"F-Feel what?" he said.

Dreaded Patrick tilted his head upward and closed his eyes. He inhaled his lair's noxious air as if it was the scent of flowers getting blown by a spring breeze. His skin lightened to the color of Starfishman's skin.

"The flow of the waves… The energy of the cosmos… The sparks that give life to our thoughts… The source of our superpowers…"

BEEP

'10' seconds.

"Umm…" Starfishman stood up. "Can you hurry up? We don't really have time for big speeches."

Dreaded Patrick opened his eyes.

"This force is called Chaos, and I will become one of its ultimate incarnates. I will join the ranks of the gods!"

The masked henchman stood up. They each took out a horn that had a goat head engraved around the exterior hole. They blew into them.

S-S-S-S-S-SCCCRRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAACH

Deafening yells erupted from the horns.

RRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrRRUUUUUUuuuuuuuUUUUMMMBLE

Strong vibrations came from all directions in the lair.

"You're going nuts!" Starfishman raised his fists.

"It doesn't matter if you call me crazy or not. The Olympians have personally blessed me. It is now my divine right to bring all seven seas under my dominion." Dreaded Patrick cartwheeled towards Starfishman.

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP

BAM BASH BAM POW

BWAK BWAK BWAK BWAK

All five points of Dreaded Patrick's spinning body hit Starfishman followed by a flurry of punches and kicks.

BONK

Starfishman bumped against the railing again.

BEEP

'5' seconds.

The rocket emitted so much smoke that it nearly clogged the chamber.

The smoke reddened to a fiery color.

S-S-S-SSSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMM

C-C-C-CLANK

The metal lids covering the rocket's lift-off path slid away, revealing a sky that was alternating between orange and purple in swirling patterns.

CLINK CLINK CLINK

Starfishman's mother tapped the rocket's exterior with one hand.

Starfishman looked up.

"You can still beat him." Starfishman's mother flexed her biceps. "You have super strength, remember?"

"Good idea!" Starfishman hopped to the rocket's railing and climbed until he reached the rocket's top. He then grabbed the rocket's top.

TRTRTRTRTRTRTRTR

The rocket vibrated under the tightness of Starfishman's grip.

GROOOOOOAAAAANNNNN

Budges began to appear on certain spots of the laboratory's walls.

KIRIK KIRIK KIRK KIRIK KIRIK KIRIK KIRIK

The bulges broke. Dozens of masked henchman poured out of the holes.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Dreaded Patrick released another volley of Super Punches towards Starfishman.

Starifshman shut his eyes and visualized his body becoming a turtle shell that encompassed SpongeBob and his mother.

BIIIIIIIIIIIIII

A forcefield that consisted of numerous tiny blue particles flying around the rocket materialized.

BING BING BING BING

Dreaded Patrick's Super Charge punches were blocked by the forcefield. The forcefield's particles multiplied and orbited the rocket faster, wrapping the rocket in bright blue light.

BEEP

'0' seconds.

The words 'BLAST OFF' appeared on the monitor's screen as it changed to bright red.

RRrRCRKRrRrRUUUUuuUUUCRCKUUMmMmMmMmMCRKmmmBLE

Long flames erupted from the rocket's holes.

RRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRR

The rocket blasted through the chamber's pathway.

As the rocket accelerated, the roars of the engine blocked out the sounds of Dreaded Patrick & his minions' foosteps.

Starfishman crawled towards his mother and SpongeBob.

"You guys okay?"

"Fine as ever!" SpongeBob held out a thumbs-up.

Starfishman's mother did a military salute.

Starfishman opened a nearby window.

"I can't let you guys stay here anymore. It's too dangerous." He grabbed them by their shoulders and tossed them through the window-hole. 'If I'm in a middle of a fight with the bad guys and one of their blasts hits you, you'll get blown to pieces."

P-PLOP

SpongeBob and Starfishman's mother landed in a small compartment.

SLAM

Starfishman shut the window.

A black, gooey substance that covered the surface of the chamber below the rocket's fire was rising with the rocket. Reflections of the masked henchman's masks had gathered in spiraling patterns on the substance's bubbling surface.

"Uh oh." Starfishman hugged the rocket's top. A general soreness began to wash over his body.

The particles inside Starfishman's forcefield began to slow and dim.

The black substance was now forming an inverted funnel that was attempting to reach one of the rocket's fins.

Starfishman wiped the sweat that was soaking his face.

"I'm not gonna be able to keep this barrier up for much longer. I gotta find some way to push 'em back."

SpongeBob was watching him through the window with moistened eyes.

FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM

The rocket soared out of the hole.

The sky shifted to alternating lines of light pink and dark pink. Within those lines, the same illegible symbols were scrolling down.

To Starfishman's right was a black hole with a green outline. All of the sky's symbols were returning to and then orbiting that hole.

The black substance erupted from the hole. The reverse funnel smoothened into the shape of a coiling serpent.

Some of the serpent's scales were the henchman's masks.

SPLORCH

Dreaded Patrick emerged from the 'serpent's head and flew towards the rocket with both hands outstretched.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Starfishman knocked on the window.

CREAK

SpongeBob tremblingly pushed the window open.

The blast of air from the rocket's speed deafened the words Starfishman was trying to say.

SpongeBob cupped his hands around his mouth.

"WHAT IS IT?!"

Starfishman leaned his head through the window-hole.

"FIND A WEAPON!"

SLAM

Starfishman shut the window again.

S-S-S-S-S

Inside the small compartment were several boxes of oil containers and one station of tools.

'This must be a storage room.' SpongeBob walked to the door and opened it. He then walked down a narrow hallway and opened another door.

Before him was a larger room. In the room's center was a turret that had a seat and a cockpit. On one side of the room was a quarter-sphere window made out of indestructible glass, giving a view of the countless skyscrapers the rocket was blurring past.

SpongeBob sat on the turret, put a hand on his chin, and scanned the words and icons on the cockpit's buttons. A light bulb lit up upon seeing the 'ON' button.

"This'll do!" He stuck out his tongue and pressed that button.

S-SHHHIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMM

The window slowly opened.

Gusts of air howled into the room.

SpongeBob's cheeks and lips flapped.

CH-CHICK

The turrets long and skinny barrels extended. The barrels' insides became filled with crimson light.

S-S-S-S-S

Starfishman was standing on the rocket as if it was a surfboard. With his feet firmly placed through dents he had left on the rocket's surface, he was steering the rocket away from its intended course.

Tiny black and yellow lines & grey circles blurred below the rocket.

His brows furrowed.

'Where's SpongeBob and Dad's houses?'

BOOM

Dreaded Patrick accelerated towards the rocket through a Super Charge kick.

Purple smoke was now leaking from his pupils.

BAM

Dreaded Patrick swung his fist directly at Starfishman's back.

CLUNK

Starfishman fell to the rocket's surface. His sweaty feet slipped from the dents. He then slipped down towards the rocket's flames.

One of the rocket's fins nudged within his right armpit.

CRRCRRCKCRACKLE

SIZZZZ

An ember of the rocket's fire burned the tip of Starfishman's foot, leaving behind a white mark.

"Eek!" Starfishman grabbed a windowsill, leaned the burned foot forward, and blew at it.

Dreaded Patrick grabbed Starfishman by the neck.

Starfishman lost his grip on the rocket.

ROOOOOOOOAAAARR

The rocket flew past Starfishman.

Dreaded Patrick took hold of Starfishman's face and nudged it until Starfishman was looking directly at him.

The trembling in Starfishman's limbs intensified the longer he looked into Dreaded Patrick's eyes. Behind the curtains of smoke rising from the sockets, he saw the wailing faces of souls confined to Hades.

Dreaded Patrick pointed at Stafishman's chattering teeth.

"That's what I like to see," he said. "You should treat me with the same reverence like you would with any other god that hails from Olympus." He tilted Starfishman's head towards the cityscape below. "What you are now witnessing is the construction of the first temple dedicated to me, the rebuilding of the entire city. The faithfulness of the henchman cleaning the streets will be the model my future believers will have to follow."

Starfishman shut his eyes and turned his head away.

"The gods wouldn't harm citizens or damage property just cause they feel like it. They gotta have a good reason for doing so."

Dreaded Patrick chuckled with a hand covering his mouth.

"Oh, Starfishman, you'd be surprised." He pointed towards a rune in the sky that looked like a fusion of Zeus' lightning bolts and Poseidon's trident. "How can you know what is truly a 'good reason'? In reality, the gods can take away any life, even an innocent one, as they see fit. They do not have to justify themselves. They are above the moral authority of a lowly mortal like you. They are the most powerful users of Chaos and the purest descendants of Phanes. Until you worked just as hard as I have to get to my position in the divine hierarchy, you will not understand why I've done the things I've done."

Starfishman leaned his head towards one side.

"Who's Phanes?"

Dreaded Patrick raised an 'index finger' and opened his mouth.

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

Dreaded Patrick received a volley of crimson laser blasts.

RRROOOOOOOOAAAAARRRR

The rocket flew past Starfishman and caught him by one of its fins.

Strafishman's mother, who was sitting in a cockpit within a room that controlled the rocket's direction, waved at Starfishman through a window.

The black 'serpent', which had been following the rocket by flying, surrounded the rocket.

SP-SP-SP-SP-SPLURCH

Some of the 'serpent's masks bursted out to reveal the henchman.

They held out their hands.

PTOOF PTOOF PTOOF PTOOF PTOOF PTOOF

The henchman unleashed a volley of orange aura balls towards the rocket.

The rocket began to move in circles.

SpongeBob grit his teeth and adjusted the turret.

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

The henchmen and the 'serpent' received a shower of crimson laser bullets.

The henchman who sustained the worst injuries fell from the 'serpent' and landed on the rooftops unconscious.

The black substance changed from a serpent form into a floating puddle that had an indefinite shape, clearing the rocket's path.

Starfishman's mother grabbed a nearby microphone.

"Starfishman, can you hear me?" Her electronic voice reverberated throughout and outside the rocket.

"Uh-huh." Starfishman nodded. He was standing near a speaker.

"I'm gonna try to bring us through the black hole. I think it's a shortcut."

Starfishman stared at the black hole's all-consuming darkness.

"I dunno… It doesn't look safe."

"You have to trust me."

"Um… okay." Starfishman turned towards Dreaded Patrick, who was already a few inches away. He jumped in fright.

SpongeBob was looking at the scene by peeking his head from the turret room's opening. A light bulb lit up in his head.

"I got this!" He took off his underpants and tossed it to his right.

The wind carried the underpants upwards.

The underpants landed on Dreaded Patrick's face.

BAM WHAM BAM WHAK WHAK BAM WHAM BAM BASH

Starfishman hit Dreaded Patrick's face with all five points of his body two times.

"Rock beats paper… and so does Starfishman," said Starfishman.

CRRRAAAASSSH

Dreaded Patrick flew to a nearby concrete building and landed on one of its faces, creating a wide crater.

The rocket's vibrations intensified as it got closer to the black hole.

masked henchman were emerging from the symbols orbiting it and landing safely on the ground. His eyes widened. "Dad, I think you should go somewhere else. Going into that hole might hurt the rocket."

S-S-S-S-S

Starfishman's mother glanced at the monitor measuring the rocket's fuel.

The bar was more than half-empty.

S-S-S-S-S

"We don't have much fuel left. We have to do this."

"But those letter thingies are spawning more of Dreaded Patrick's minions. If the hole's doing that, it might be helping Dreaded Patrick."

RRRRUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBLLE

As the rocket began to reach the black hole's event horizon, its shaking intensified to the point where Starfishman now had trouble remaining standing.

CRRK

Dreaded Patrick pulled his back from the crater. He pulled the underpants off his face and tossed it towards elsewhere.

"That was the last straw..."

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Dreaded Patrick, through Super Charge kicks, returned to the rocket. He landed on the rocket's fins.

Starfishman held his fist forward and held it back but could not bring it forward again. "Huh?" He looked behind his shoulder.

The rocket was so close to the black hole that the light of his dream world was becoming distorted.

'"Mom, stop the rocket! Stop it!" Starfishman stomped on the rocket with both feet.

No response from the speaker.

Dreaded Patrick took out a square-shaped mask from his pocket. He held it towards Starfishman.

"This is my ultimate weapon. My last resort," he said.

Starfishman stared into the mask's empty sockets.

The growls of sea bears and the whispers of an incomprehensible language entered Starfishman's mind.

"Th-That's…"

The sky became just as dark as the black hole.

Dreaded Patrick put on the mask. His pupils shifted to an orange that glowed in the darkness.

Starfishman turned around.

"Guys! Guys-"

SpongeBob and Starfishman's mother were standing there. They were also wearing square-shaped masks.

The hands of the masked people extended from their forearms as if they were made out of plastic. The hands then enlarged and wrapped around Starfishman's body, encasing him in a tomb of flesh.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Starfishman yelled until he lost his vocal chords.

The sky, the citizens hiding in their homes, and the various other cars and buildings melted into a gray goo.

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob, who was still in his miniature translucent state, was standing with his knees on the windowsill of Squidward's tiki. With his eyes squeezed shut and countless sweat drops running down his forehead, his trembling arms were pushing the window.

Creak

The window opened by an inch.

Squeak

SpongeBob fell to the floor of the bedroom face-first. He then stood up and wiped the dust from his face.

Squidward was sleeping with his blanket folded towards one side of his body. He had not bothered to put on his pajamas save for the cone hat, which had rolled off to the floor. His nightmask was unusually moist.

SpongeBob climbed the bed.

A dream portal was floating above Squidward's head.

SpongeBob squinted.

The portal's green outline consisted of tiny green waves dissipating into nothingness.

"Ooh, this is gonna be good!" SpongeBob rubbed his hands together. He then tip-toed into the portal.

S-S-S-S-S

Squidward, while wearing a velvet tuxedo and a powdered wig, was playing his clarinet on a large stage.

Before the stage was a massive auditorium, including several floors of balconies.

All of the seats had been taken by aristocrats. They gazed at Squidward while leaning forward.

A young man who was sitting in the front row began to cry.

"His music touches me ever-so. I fear that my tears might stain my petticoat."

Squidward finishing his latest composition.

The audience stood up. They clapped and whistled.

"Wh-Wh-Why did he stop playing such wonderful music?" The king, who was a fish with light green skin, was sitting on the uppermost balcony. His seat was decorated with jewels and was also the largest out of all of the auditorium's seats.

Squidward bowed.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

After the clapping ceased, Squidward began to play another composition.

S-S-S-S-S

THUD

SpongeBob landed on the part of the stage behind the red curtain. Upon hearing the clarinet's lovely notes, he leaped to his feet and peeked through the curtain.

"Psst, Squidward!" he whispered while waving. "Hey, Squidward!"

S-S-S-S-S

Squidward looked behind his shoulder.

The teeth in SpongeBob's grin twinkled under the spotlights.

Squidward stopped playing when he reached an abrasive note. His eyes gained a sheen of moisture.

"SpongeBob..."

"Ahem!" The king banged his fists against his chair's arms. "Why did you stop playing, Wolfgang Amadeus Tentacles?"

Squidward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He turned back to the audience.

"Yes, your Highness," he droned. He resumed his playing.

SpongeBob swallowed his lips. He stepped behind the curtain and tip-toed down one of the stage's stairways.

S-S-S-S-S

A minute later...

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob stepped to the king. With a quivering grin, he whispered into the king's ear.

The king guffawed.

Squidward stopped playing. He kept the clarinet to his knees as he waited for the king's laughter to end.

"Hey! I have not instructed you to stop! Now PLAY!" The king banged the bottom of his golden scepter against the floor a few times. He then lightly elbowed SpongeBob. "Oh, do tell me the one about the man from Peru again," he whispered.

Squidward resumed his playing.

SpongeBob whispered into the king's ear again.

The king guffawed again.

RRRRRRRUUUMMMMMMMBLE

The wall behind the curtain vibrated.

SpongeBob was the only one to feel it.

A bulge in the shape of an illegible rune was forming on the area of the back wall above the curtain.

'Aren't those things supposed to float around those dream holes?'

RRRRrrrrrrrRrrrrRRRRRUUUuuuuuUUUUUMMMBLE

The vibrations intensified.

Squidward now felt them. He squeezed his clarinet.

SHATTER

The clarinet broke into many pieces.

Steam came out of the king's ears.

"I CAME TO HEAR BEAUTIFUL MUSIC! IF I DON"T GET MY WISH, IT'LL BE YOUR HEAD!" He banged the head of his scepter against the floor.

C-CRICK

The head of the scepter broke.

CRACK

The rune emerged from the bulge on the wall. It floated over the curtain.

SpongeBob widened his eyes so much that they nearly bulged out of their sockets. He pointed at the rune.

"Squidward!"

Squidward looked up and saw the rune.

"No way," he said.

The rune, as it approached SpongeBob, began to warp SpongeBob's perception of the environment. The room brightened so much that he could only see the outlines of the seats nearest to him. From those outlines emerged arms that belonged to normal sentient fish.

The hands grabbed SpongeBob's limbs and flipped him over.

SpongeBob looked at the floor as he remained upside-down. A sharp dizziness entered his head.

The remaining objects he could see faded to nothingness.

A white void was surrounding him; save for the arms holding him, which were sticking out of misty portals.

The arms shook him until he could no longer tell if he was standing up or still hanging upside down.

Incomprehensible chatter was coming from all sides.

"H-Hello?" SpongeBob wore a smile. He waved both arms. "Can you let me down now?"

The air around him shifted to a lower pressure.

"Are you the accomplice of the owner of this realm?" said an ambiguously gendered voice.

The arms disappeared.

SpongeBob straightened his posture. He remained standing.

"What're you talking about?"

"He is the octopus."

"Oh, you mean Squidward? Well, I'm not his 'accomplice'. I'm just his friend."

"Did you intentionally escape your dream?"

SpongeBob shrugged.

"Not really. The license in the dream I was having hopped through one of those holes, and I followed it."

"Did the octopus ever suggest about the existence of the dream holes?"

"Nope." SpongeBob shook his head. "I've rarely heard him talking about the dreams he has."

"In that case, we consider you to be innocent. We shall bring you back to where you came from."

An invisible force pulled SpongeBob's legs.

THUD

SpongeBob landed back-first on a floor that had solidified the moment he fell far enough. His body then slid towards the black hole he had used to enter Squidward's dream. He tried to cling to the smooth floor.

"Wait! Wait! Can I stay here? I just wanted to have fun."

"You shall not."

SpongeBob's body moved faster.

He was pulled into the hole.

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob, with his legs still under the grip of the invisible force, was pulled from Squidward's bed to the floor, dragged up the wall, and pushed through the tiny slit in the ajar window.

S-S-S-S-S

He floated towards the window of the pineapple's bedroom. The soft sensations that graced the parts of his body facing the ground eased away the frightening images that were racing through his mind.

"Mmm, this feels quite nice." His eyes unconsciously became half-closed.

CREAK

The window to his bedroom opened slightly.

He was pushed through the opening.

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob's astral body was hurled into his black hole.

The runes orbiting the hole dissipated.

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob was now flying above a kelp forest. The sky was mixed with clouds from the surface world and underwater flowers.

SP-SP-SP-SPLASH

Countless fire-tipped spears rained into the ocean's surface. The ripples from their impact pushed SpongeBob downward.

CRASH

He fell through the canopy of kelp trees and landed on the ground.

The spears pierced the kelp trees, igniting them.

Flames surrounded SpongeBob, but the embers did not touch his skin.

Several bodies were getting burned by the flames.

"AAAAAHHHH!"

"Curse her!"

"Tyrant!"

"Keep on shooting! Show no fear!"

Several arrows flew towards the sky. However, all of them succumbed to gravity without touching the ocean's surface.

The blueness of the sky parted in twain to reveal the face of a human female wearing a feathered helmet. Her eyes were glowing, grey, and pupilless.

SpongeBob gulped. He opened his quivering mouth, but could not find any words to say.

SPLLAAAASSSH

The grey-eyed goddess outstretched her arm, which was longer than the Mariana trench, into the ocean. Her index finger, which had a nail longer than that of a tiger, moved towards SpongeBob's nose.

SpongeBob shut his eyes and winced.

POKE

The tip of the nail touched the tip of SpongeBob's nose.

SpongeBob opened his eyes.

The grey-eyed goddess nodded and lifted her arm from the ocean.

SpongeBob opened his mouth again.

S-S-S-S-S

"Minerva," said SpongeBob as he opened his eyes. He sat up. He was now in his physical body.

The tiles of the bedroom's walls were floating downwards across the wall's surface like lilies on a pond.

"Meow?" Gary slightly opened his crusty eyestalks.

SpongeBob remained silent. He hugged his knees and did not blink.

S-S-S-S-S

Several hours later…

S-S-S-S-S

April 4, 2008.

A thick fog was covering Bikini Bottom. The coral pieces on the horizon could no longer been seen. The graininess of the fog was more acute in SpongeBob's neighborhood, where its concentrated particles nearly blocked the view of the three homes.

Emerging into the neighborhood was a creature that had a clay-like shell shaped like a cylinder, puffed cheeks, pursed lips, arms hunched into bent positions, and no legs. It waddled to the pineapple and gazed at the steering wheel design of the front door's knob.

CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK

The creature bumped its head against the door, taking delight in how the door rattled with each hit.

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob was still on his bed, hugging his knees. He was staring at the floor with baggy eyes.

Clank Clank Clank Clank Clank

A pause.

Gary opened his eyestalks again and sluggishly slithered away from the paper pile.

SpongeBob looked at the window.

Barely any light was coming into the room.

"I need to call Patrick," SpongeBob said hoarsely. His feet landed on the floor. He squeezed through the rightmost door, which was ajar.

The steps on the stairway were rolling like the wheels of a vehicle.

SpongeBob groaned and wiped his bloodshot eyes. He slid down the stairway's banister.

S-S-S-S-S

A few minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING

The phone lying on a small sand table rang.

Patrick opened his eyes slightly, making sure that the light coming from the TV's static screen did not prick his blurry vision. He was sitting on a sofa chair. He leaned back, hitting the shell-phone's table from behind.

CLUNK

The table tipped over.

The shell-phone receiver fell out of its body and landed on the floor with its audio muffs facing the ceiling.

"P-Patrick?" said SpongeBob.

"I can hear ya," droned Patrick.

"Can you come over to my place to have a little chat? I just had the weirdest dream."

Patrick shrugged.

"'Kay." He stood up from the sofa.

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob, hearing beeps on the other end, put down his shell-phone.

CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK

SpongeBob stepped to the front door and opened it.

The creature widened its eyes. Its dark red pupils, which were shaped like diagonal rectangles, narrowed.

SpongeBob's lips curved, smoothing out the creases on his face. Sparkles returned to his eyes.

"Why, hello there, little fella," said he in a soft voice he would usually use for Gary. He clapped his hands together and stood on tip-toe. "You need something to eat?"

The creature waddled into the living room and glanced at the furniture. It waddled to the fake fish-bat. It then nudged its head against it, taking in the scratches the furniture's 'gills' gave to its head.

SpongeBob followed the creature while taking care not to make any noises with his steps.

"You want meat?"

The creature turned towards SpongeBob.

"MmM." It uttered a nasal whine.

SpongeBob giggled. He noticed how the creature's nose looked like that of an octopus.

"Y'know, you remind me of Squidward."

"Sponge?" Patrick stepped into the room. He saw the creature and bit his lip. The leaf on the creature's head caused wild ideas about what was inside the creature's shell to race though his mind. "Wh-What is that?"

SpongeBob stepped out of the way, giving the creature a full view of Patrick.

"It's just an animal that was knocking on my door. I think it's hungry."

The creature's hands were vibrating.

Patrick took a step back.

"Does it eat living flesh?"

"Of course not! If it did, I probably would've been attacked by now."

Patrick slowly took a step forward.

"So what're you supposed to call it? A… thing?"

"I don't think so." SpongeBob pet the creature's head.

A faint odor wafted out of the creature's shell.

"Let's just call it 'Smelly' for now," said SpongeBob.

Smelly detected the smell of ice cream. It waddled towards Patrick.

SpongeBob gestured to Smelly.

"Patrick, Smelly." He gestured to Patrick. "Smelly, Patrick."

Smelly licked the faint drops of ice cream on Patrick's belly.

"H-Hi… Smelly." Patrick gently pushed away Smelly's head.

"So~" SpongeBob's foot tapped the floor until his thoughts connected again. "Oh yeah! I think I've figured out why there's weird, supernatural stuff going on here." He pointed towards the foggy sky. "Minerva entered my dream last night. I couldn't figure out the exact words she said, but I got the gist of it." He put a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "She's punishing us for being bad neighbors to Squid."

Patrick scratched his forehead.

"Really?"

"I'm being serious!" SpongeBob shook Patrick's shoulder.

"But wouldn't Minerva be happy by now? It's been awhile since we've annoyed Squid."

"But we haven't directly appeased Jupiter yet. By avoiding that, we've still committed Hubris."

"Should we go to a temple then?" Patrick wiped Smelly's lingering saliva from his belly.

SpongeBob glanced at his watch and snapped his fingers.

"Good thinking." He grabbed Patrick's arm. "We'll get there just in time. We've gotta go now."

Gary peeked into the living room from the kitchen's ajar door. He hissed at Smelly.

"What about Smelly?" said Patrick.

SpongeBob exhaled.

"I guess we're gonna have to get him out…" He walked to Smelly, who was now smelling the dust that had gathered on the TV. "...the hard way." He took hold of Smelly.

Smelly looked at SpongeBob from the corner of its eye.

"MmMmMm." It slipped out of SpongeBob's grasp and waddled towards the closet.

SpongeBob swallowed his lips and shut his eyes. He hugged Smelly and pulled it towards the front door.

"MmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmM!" Smelly tried to twist and turn out of SpongeBob's grip.

SpongeBob's arms began to tremble. As Smelly's order began to fill his nose, he held his breath.

"He's heavy…"

After a few tries, SpongeBob managed to heave Smelly through the door.

SLAM

Patrick kicked the front door to a close.

"You're free to go." SpongeBob released Smelly from his grip. He grabbed Patrick's arm again. He then ran in a certain direction while waving towards Smelly. "See you later!"

Smelly slowly turned away from SpongeBob. It stared at the tiki, which, from its own primitive mind, looked like another piece of food. It waddled towards the tiki and extended its tongue.

S-S-S-S-S

Squidward, who was still frowning, was holding the clarinet while inside his home's music room. He looked through one of the windows but the fog shrouded any living being he could possibly see save for Smelly. He squinted for a few seconds but then shrugged.

'Maybe it wouldn't mind.' He opened the window, put the clarinet's mouthpiece to his mouth, and commenced to play a series of compositions he made himself.

S-S-S-S-S

Smelly stopped licking the tiki's exterior and gazed at Squidward. After almost a minute of listening to the music, it closed its eyes. It swayed its head to the notes.

S-S-S-S-S

Squidward's lips curved.

His notes began to lose their harmony.

He stopped playing and allowed a chuckle to escape his system.

"Finally, an audience for once."

S-S-S-S-S

Smelly hopped in place.

"MmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmM!"

S-S-S-S-S

"You want more?" Squidward put a hand on his hip and leaned through the window.

Smelly's whines continued to louden.

Squidward resumed to play his clarinet.

S-S-S-S-S

Nine minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

AH-OOH-GA

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Streets were congested with thick lines of boatmobiles.

SpongeBob and Patrick were standing at an intersection near downtown Bikini Bottom.

The traffic light turned green.

SpongeBob glanced his watch. His arms were folded and his foot was tapping.

"Come on! Why aren't they moving?"

"Maybe it's 'cause of the fog." Patrick pointed in the direction of the skyscrapers, whose tops were covered by the fog. "You can't really get anywhere if you don't know where you're going."

Gathered behind SpongeBob and Patrick were other citizens waiting to walk across the street.

Two of them, a man who was wearing a necklace & a woman wearing a pocketbook that had borromean rings with ecclesiastical Latin names on them, were raising their voices.

The man held out his necklace towards the woman.

"We were the ones who started Olympianism." He pointed at the end of the necklace, which was a labrys. "That's why we're supposed to carry this around. It shows how we stick to our roots."

The woman's 'hands' closed into fists.

"We're not supposed to worship more than three gods. That's all in the past. After the flood ended, Jupiter and Juno ordered us to worship them only. We show respect to the other gods too, but worshipping and showing respect aren't the same thing."

"But what's funny about that is that they contradict themselves later by saying that you guys have to worship Minerva too, but still can't worship the other Olympian gods. If that's not a heresy, I don't know what it is."

"How can you tell me my beliefs are false when that Orfeeoos-"

"Orpheus."

"When Orpheus said that there was a being born from Chaos before Terra even existed? I bet he got everything from those 'herbs' he'd been taking. Your sect is no better than mine."

"Oh? Is your faith in the gods starting to falter?"

"No!" The woman crossed her arms. "I'm just saying that the Holy Ones have to refresh the info every now and then to prevent false beliefs like yours from spreading around."

The man stepped towards the woman.

"Do you dare to disrespect the true Olympian faith?!"

The woman nodded.

Other people began to gather near them, with them evenly split between the man's side and the woman's side.

SpongeBob and Patrick were watching the commotion with widened eyes.

The woman and the man began to swung fists at each other. Cheers and fighting between opposing sides broke out.

SpongeBob attempted to bite his fingernail.

"Maybe we should help them." He took a step towards the crowd.

The traffic light turned red.

The boatmobiles stopped.

Patrick's eyes were half-closed. He took hold of SpongeBob's shoulder and turned him around.

"It's just politics. Ignore them."

SpongeBob and Patrick walked across the street.

The honking of the boatmobiles drowned out the commotion from the other side.

S-S-S-S-S

Five minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Before SpongeBob and Patrick was a moderately-sized building that only had one floor. On the building's front was an unguarded double door that had windows shaped in borromean rings. Next to the entrance was a bulletin with the words 'TEMPLE OF THE GUARDIAN MINERVA' and a schedule of interchangeable letters below it.

The singing of a choir and the chanting of laypeople were coming from the temple.

C-CRREEEEEEEAK

SpongeBob and Patrick entered the temple.

S-S-S-S-S

They were now inside a large chamber. It was dimly lit by torches that had been placed on the walls. The ceiling had been painted with a depiction of three gods sitting in their thrones; Hera to the left, Zeus in the center, and Athena to the right; while surrounded by a vast host of other gods, creatures, and mythical beings. A wide purple curtain blocked the ongoing ceremony from view, separating a small portion of the chamber from the larger one.

SpongeBob and Patrick lifted the curtain and stepped into the larger section.

The flamen, an old blue male fish who had a neck-length white beard and an eyepatch over his left eye, was sitting in the center of giant borromean rings that had been etched onto the polished floor. His legs were crossed, his eyes were closed, the tips of his hands were touching to form a triangle shape, and he repeatedly mouthed a chant in ecclesiastical Latin.

Surrounding the borromean rings was the choir, who were singing from the lyrics on the opened books they were holding. Outside of them were the laypeople, who sat in neat layers of circles around the clergy as they chanted.

SpongeBob and Patrick sat in the outermost circle.

SpongeBob attempted to chant in the pitch of the choir while Patrick chanted from his throat.

CLANnNnNnG

An altar server rang a large bell that hung from a distant corner of the room.

The flamen opened his eyes and stopped mouthing. He stood up and gestured towards the floor.

The choir stopped singing and sat on the floor in the same spots.

All of the laypeople, including SpongeBob and Patrick, stopped chanting.

The flamen raised one arm forward and held out his other arm to his right.

He then slowly turned around, making sure his hands ended up facing the people gathered around him at one point or another, while saying: "May Jupiter Optimus Maximus, Juno Lucina, and Minerva Medica bless you on your quest to gain Gnosis." He completed his turn. "If any of you have been listening to my previous talks, you'd know that this week's topic is about heretics and blasphemers."

SpongeBob swallowed his lips and moved his gaze to the floor. He folded his hands together as he mentally prayed to Zeus.

The flamen began to walk around the empty circular area.

"The story I'll be covering today is about Ceyx and his wife Alcyone." He snapped a finger towards SpongeBob, who he thought was napping.

SpongeBob opened his eyes and forced himself to look at the flamen.

"This happened thousands of years ago, long before any semblance of civilization could be seen in our neck of the kelp woods. Ceyx was a king who ruled Trachis, an area in Greece that is now known as Heraclea. He was admired by his subjects for his physical beauty, which was how he was able to maintain peace throughout the kingdom. His muscular physique even turned the heads of the Holy Ones. His wife, Alcyone, was just as good-looking as he was and allegedly had a nymph as one of her ancestors."

Some of the older laypeople raised their brows.

"She had-" The flamen saw the older laypeople's faces. He raised his hands. "I'm sorry for getting off-topic. A servant of the gods should focus more on the spiritual than the physical."

The older worshippers chuckled.

Patrick lowered his chin to his 'hand'.

"How was that funny?"

SpongeBob raised his index finger to his lips.

"Shh!"

The flamen clapped his hands together.

"Okay, getting to the point…" He rubbed them until his previous train of thought came back. "Ceyx and Alcyone had a lovely marriage. The bliss their union would bring was often sung about throughout the kingdom. The passion they felt was what blinded them from the highest love there is, the love sourced from the Monad... the love of every living being without discrimination. As a result of their passion, Ceyx and Alcyone began to call each other Jupiter and Juno."

Some of the laypeople and the choir smirked.

"As you can tell, the couple wouldn't get away with this for long. One day, Mercury overheard them and then told Jupiter what they were doing. Jupiter, for obvious reasons, became quite upset and planned to bring divine retribution upon them." The flamen returned to the middle of the circle. "Sometime later, the brother of Ceyx died, and Ceyx, in a desire to know where his brother had went to in the afterlife, desired to go to a mystic who lived in a country that is now known as Turkey."

Patrick giggled.

SpongeBob gently elbowed Patrick's stomach, silencing him.

"However, the journey was not going to be easy. Some nasty storms caused the sea between Greece and Turkey to develop waves so massive that they were taller than some of the buildings in New Kelp City." The flamen raised one hand towards the ceiling.

"Why couldn't they surf?" whispered Patrick.

SpongeBob shrugged.

"Alcyone tried to persuade Ceyx not to go since she knew that the waves could kill her husband. But no matter how many times Alcyone nagged, Ceyx wouldn't budge. She then tried to accompany him on his journey but he rejected that proposal since he was already aware of the trip's risk. Ceyx then packed his gear and went off on a ship with the finest sailors of his kingdom." The flamen cracked his knuckles. "Now comes the good part."

Some of the laypeople, including Patrick, leaned forward.

"The night after Ceyx went to sea, Alcyone fell asleep. Hypnos, under Jupiter and Juno's orders, entered Alcyone's mind. He then implanted a dream where Ceyx drowns." The flamen put his hands on his hips. "Guess what happens next?"

Some of the worshippers raised their hands.

Chills ran down SpongeBob's back. He sat up.

'My dream had to have been a message from Minerva! This can't be a coincidence!' He poked Patrick's arm.

Patrick nodded while keeping his eyes towards the flamen.

"See? I was right," whispered SpongeBob.

"I didn't doubt you," whispered Patrick.

The flamen pointed at one of the worshippers' raised hands.

"You."

The worshipper stood up.

"Ceyx drowns."

All of the other worshippers, except for SpongeBob, giggled.

The flamen did a 'so-so' hand gesture.

"You're half-right." He moved his arms in circles, imitating the motions of a typhoon's winds. "Jupiter punished Ceyx by sending a hurricane on his way. The waves caused Ceyx and all of his crewmates to fly overboard. Ceyx thendrowned. After that, Hypnos entered Alcyone's mind again and, in the guise of Ceyx, told her what had happened to her husband. Alcyone became so despondent that she tore off her clothing and sat by the seashore for more than a week. Ceyx's body eventually washed up to the shore. When she saw that body, she drowned herself in an attempt to reunite with him in her next rebirth. Unfortunately, they are both in Hades as I speak."

He sat down in the borromean circles' center.

"So what were the mistakes Ceyx and Alcyone made? Thinking that it was possible for a mortal to be equivalent to a god. They weren't aware that there will never be another Divine Triad. Even though I am now preaching to the choir at this point, these facts still need to be reinforced. Minerva, Jupiter, and Juno are the ultimate embodiments of divinity; the culmination of two successive generations of mystical evolution.

"The other mistake they made was thinking that the soul moves to another body after one's death. This silly lie is part of the doctrine of Arete, spread by the Mystery-followers."

SpongeBob bit his tongue without opening his mouth. After he heard the word "Mystery-followers", he no longer focused on the flamen's speech. Memories of Squidward entering a certain Mysterian temple returned to his mind. A question slowly emerged as the images shifted to what he thought the afterlife would look like. With quivering lips, he turned towards Patrick.

Patrick's brows were furrowed. He was attempting to decode the abstract concepts contained in the flamen's speech.

SpongeBob sighed and turned his eyes back to the flamen.

"...you will better understand the contradictory ideas of the Monad, the single entity that unites the entire universe. You have to continue your Henosis, the process of unifying with the Monad. By tuning your ears to the voices of the Triad, you will gain Gnosis one way or another. If any of you give up this pursuit or even accept heresies, you will condemn yourselves to eternal torture in Hades for no reason." The flamen's his hands formed a triangle shape again. "So would anyone like to talk about any Gnosis they have recently received?"

SpongeBob stood up. He was the only one to raise his hand.

The flamen pointed towards SpongeBob and nodded.

SpongeBob, without knowing why, allowed his lips to curve.

"Some weird stuff was happening at my neighborhood. Not too long after that began, Minerva came into a dream I had last night. He told me indirectly that the unexplainable things happening in my house were caused by me being a bad neighbor to one of my friends."

Some of the worshippers turned towards SpongeBob and raised their brows slightly.

After spending several seconds interpreting SpongeBob's words, the flamen held out a hand towards him.

"Speak to me after the session ends. We'll discuss it when everybody else leaves." He turned away from SpongeBob. "Anybody else?"

SpongeBob sat down.

The worshippers remained silent.

The flamen folded his hands together.

"In other news, the presidential election is only a few days from now. I'm not going to be like the other flamens who talk about politics more than actual spiritual matters, but I'd still like to leave a suggestion." He stood up and raised an 'index finger'. "Michael Goldfish is way better than Nicholas Stingray."

Some of the worshippers chuckled and giggled.

"Not only is he from the party that has been aligned with our values since day one, he actually wants to make a few changes for once."

A few of the worshippers clapped.

"Well, that's my two cents." The flamen sat down again.

Patrick poked SpongeBob's knee.

"How does that 'voting' thingy work again?"

"You gotta go to a place that has a ballot, like a school or something like that," said SpongeBob. "You then tap on a touch screen the name of the person you want."

"Oh~ I thought you were supposed to give the name and then say why you want him."

SpongeBob giggled.

"It's not like school, Pat. There technically isn't any wrong guy to vote for."

The flamen closed his eyes and chanted in ecclesiastical Latin: "May Jupiter clear the clouds that block you from the truth and illuminate the path to righteousness, may Juno protect your families and create fertile ground for victories in this worldly life, and may Minerva promote harmony among all of you."

The worshippers, except for SpongeBob and Patrick, stood up. They then gathered into lines as they exited the building.

When all of the other worshippers left, the flamen stood up and walked up to SpongeBob. He looked at Patrick, raised a brow, and pointed at him.

"Does he live with you?"

"Mm-hm." SpongeBob nodded. "He's one of my neighbors. Weird stuff was happening at his house too."

The flamen crossed his arms.

"To start off, what do you mean by 'weird stuff'?"

"It's stuff that can't be normally explained, like things getting moved out of place for no reason, faces appearing on the walls, stuff like that," said SpongeBob.

"Has there been a recent death in your home?" said the flamen.

"Nope," said SpongeBob.

"Then when did this supernatural activity begin to occur?"

"It started soon after I did a talent show at the Krusty Krab. I don't think that event was related, though."

The flamen turned towards Patrick.

"What about you?"

Patrick shrugged.

"It started at the same time for me too." He scratched his head as he stared at a torch. "I think it started at the same time for everybody."

"Who else lives in your neighborhood?"

"The guy I was being a bad neighbor to." SpongeBob wore a smile. "He didn't die though."

"Does anybody else live in 'that guy's house?"

Patrick and SpongeBob shook their heads simultaneously.

The flamen rubbed his chin with his fist.

"Based on what you said, I still can't come up with a clear solution." He walked towards a locked chest that was lying in a shaded corner of the chamber. "I'll have to inspect your homes up-close. I'll have enough time to do that since my next speech is hours from now." He took out a key from his robe, unlocked the chest, and took out a dusty brown bag filled with oddly-shaped supplies. He walked back to SpongeBob and crouched so that they were at the same height. He put a hand on SpongeBob's head.

"I want you to say Our Maiden on the Chariot prayer twelve times after the whole thing's over. Capeesh?"

SpongeBob hopped to his feet.

"Yes, sir! Thank you so much!"

The flamen, followed by SpongeBob and Patrick, exited the temple.

S-S-S-S-S

The flamen adjusted his eyepatch.

"Can you lead me to your place? I'm not as all-powerful as you think I am."

SpongeBob pointed in his pineapple's direction and jogged.

The flamen and Patrick followed him.

S-S-S-S-S

Ten minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

Smelly was rolling on the ground from side-to-side to Squidward's clarinet music, which was now at a faster pace.

Squidward, with one foot on the windowsill and eyes closed, was playing the last composition in his series.

The flamen stepped into the neighborhood's vicinity

A chilly aura emanated from the three homes.

He narrowed his eyes and stared into the fog with his supernaturally-tuned vision.

Blocky particles were spreading from the tiki and entering SpongeBob and Patrick's homes. Particles with flatter shapes were orbiting the neighborhood, forming what looked like a dome.

The flamen took out a metal rod engraved with wings and leaves. He turned it on and held it towards the neighborhood.

DEEB DEEB DEEB DEEB DEEB DEEB DEEB DEEB

The rod rang like a fire alarm. It now had a dark orange glow.

The flamen slowly raised the rod to his face.

'This is no ordinary curse. It's…' His jaw dropped.

"What's wrong?!" said SpongeBob.

"This seems to be a haunting and a punishment combined together. Minerva must have allowed Hades to release a few spirits from the Realm of the Dead as a way of punishing you. Perhaps she is using the spirits as examples of bad neighbors."

SpongeBob took a deep breath.

"Phew."

Patrick nodded.

"Seems legit," he said.

The flamen turned off the rod, put it away, and took out what looked like a Rubik's cube with needles sticking out within the indented lines.

"Is that a toy?!" Patrick attempted to grab the cube.

The flamen pulled it away from Patrick's hands.

Patrick pouted.

"Can I play with it?"

The flamen shook his head.

"Only a member of the clergy can use it. All of them, including me, have been trained to use its magical properties."

The needle on the cube that pointed northeast was blinking.

The flamen glared at Patrick.

"I believe you're also one of the bad neighbors. If you weren't, your house wouldn't have been haunted."

Patrick swallowed his lips. His gaze fell.

"In order for the spirits to get away, you'll have to appease Minerva through a demonstration of obedience." The flamen pointed towards the tiki. "Since the tiki is the focal point of the hauntings, you'll have to lie prostrate before saying your prayers."

"What does prostrate mean?" said Patrick.

SpongeBob walked until he was several steps from the front door. He then fell to his knees and laid his face on the ground with his arms held forward. However, the notes of Squidward's clarinet blocked out the prayer he was attempting to recall.

Patrick stepped to SpongeBob's left and imitated SpongeBob's actions.

Smelly rolled across SpongeBob and Patrick. He was still in his state of musical rapture.

SpongeBob and Patrick's bodies nearly flattened.

The flamen's eyes followed Smelly. However, Smelly rolled back into the fog's depths before he could get a clear picture. He then whistled towards the tiki's opened window.

Squidward stopped playing. He looked below.

"What?!"

The flamen adjusted his cap.

"We are attempting to please Minerva, who has allowed ghosts to roam this neighborhood."

Squidward lowered his gaze, turned around, and dropped his clarinet to the sheet holder. After a minute, exited the tiki with hanging limbs.

He approached the flamen.

"Oh… you're not Mysterian."

"No," said the flamen.

Squidward glanced at SpongeBob and swallowed his lips. Images of the smaller magic paper returned to his consciousness. He sighed and fell prostrate to SpongeBob's right.

The flamen put his hands together into a triangle shape.

"Please repeat the Appeasement of Uninvited Guests prayer fifteen times."

Squidward remained silent.

Patrick mumbled the fragments of the prayer he remembered.

SpongeBob, with his head slightly turned towards Squidward, prayed loudly.

The fog within the neighborhood's vicinity began to clear.

The flamen perceived that the particles had clumped and were moving in more chaotic patterns. He loudly tapped the ground with his foot.

"Louder. If you don't pray with all your heart, it will not sound convincing to Minerva."

SpongeBob chanted his prayer. His eyes were wrinkled shut.

Patrick mumbled louder, making his words even more incoherent.

The otherworldly particles soared and gathered into a small dome of gas that floated above the neighborhood.

HOOWWWWWWWWLL

A deafening gust bursted from the dome.

The flamen, in the blink of an eye, snatched a scepter from his bag and held it forward.

PSHIING

The scepter fired a pocket that contained no matter.

BZZZZZ

The pocket blocked the winds, causing them to scatter above like water flowing against an upside-down cup.

PFEWW

The winds cut into the ground, kicking sand.

An indented circle was left behind.

The three neighbors stood up and turned towards the flamen.

The flamen stopped his lips from quivering by biting his tongue. He looked up at the dome.

Vibrating strings of a particular color were connected to the dome. They were coming from a distant source.

'It's definitely them.' The flamen tightened his grip on the scepter.

"Is there a storm coming?" said Patrick.

The flamen ran up to the three neighbors.

"Praying to Minerva is not going to be enough. Minerva has sent a Nemesis as part of the punishment, although I do not know which Nemesis it is. As a result, that Nemesis is keeping the mini-portal to Hades open. In order to appease it and the ghosts, I'll have to do it myself." He walked in the northeast direction.

SpongeBob began to follow the flamen.

The flamen held out a 'hand' towards SpongeBob.

SpongeBob halted.

"Don't follow me." The flamen was looking at the neighbors from the corner of his eye. "That goes for all of you." He then ran northeast.

Patrick leaned his feet back and forth.

"Y'know, that magic paper could've really helped us in times like this," he said.

Squidward let one 'hand' touched the other's wrist in a vain attempt at hiding his trembling legs.

SpongeBob's mouth leaned towards one corner. He shook his head.

"I don't think it would help the flamen at all. Those masked people could come back."

The flamen overhead SpongeBob's words. He stopped for a second but then ran faster than before.

SpongeBob saw Squidward's wrists. "You have something on your mind?" he said softly.

Squidward kept his eyes on the tiki's 'eyes'.

"Nothing."

"Why did he stop?" said Patrick.

SpongeBob looked in the direction Patrick was looking at. The flamen was no longer visible.

"Who?"

"The mystic guy." Patrick pointed forward. "He stopped for a bit."

"Maybe he tripped on something." SpongeBob shrugged.

The fog began to reclaim the air above the neighborhood.

"He did say he was not all-powerful…" SpongeBob imagined the otherworldly phenomena the flamen could encounter behind the fog's veil. "We should follow him." He grabbed Patrick and Squidward's wrists as he walked in the flamen's direction. "If he couldn't figure out where we live right away even though he can use magic, how'll he be able to fight a Nemesis and a bunch of ghosts? If we can distract them, that'll give him a better chance at beating them."

Squidward sighed. Images of the masked strangers glowing eyes and the rune he saw in his recent dream combined into a thought that caused his heartbeat to quicken. Contradictory ideas vyed with his emotions as he tried to pull himself out of SpongeBob's grip.

"Don't bother. He said we shouldn't follow him. If he can use that scepter to stop the supernatural activity, we should trust his word."

SpongeBob leaned forward and pulled the two harder.

"No. He went out of his way to help us. We should give back.

Squidward closed his eyes. He allowed his wrist to dangle in SpongeBob's grasp.

Patrick nodded slowly.

In the distance was the grainy outline of a jellyfish. Its head was abnormally large.

A light bulb lit up in Patrick's head.

"Sponge, did you see any masked people in your dreams?"

Squidward's heartbeat became so fast that he could hear it. He straightened his posture to hide his blanching.

SpongeBob let go of his neighbors' wrists. His fingers tapped together.

"Y-Yeah… You remember that weird dream I was describing? I didn't meet Minerva until my dream was about to end. Most of my dream was about some race I was doing, and one of the rival racers was some guy wearing a mask." He fiddled the lint in his pockets. "Did you see any in yours?"

"Yup. I was dreaming about being a superhero and the villain I was fighting and some of his henchmen were using masks. It was real creepy too. Kinda like the ones in real life."

SpongeBob put a finger on his chin.

"Could this all mean something? I heard dreams can symbolize a whole bunch of things."

Patrick shrugged.

"I dunno. Maybe it's death."

SpongeBob's hands moved towards his neighbors' wrists.

"What do you mean?"

"'cause the masks made me afraid in real life and in my dream. Since the masked folk tried to kill me in both worlds, it kinda makes sense why it would represent 'rotting' or things along those lines."

A recent memory became relit in SpongeBob's mind. He glanced at Squidward, who was looking at the various fauna they were passing by. A faint sheen of moisture covered his eyes. He took out a notepad and a pencil, scribbled 'Is Squidward going to Hades?' on an empty note, and showed it to Patrick.

Patrick squinted until he managed to read the words through the fog. He then opened his mouth. A bit of his voice came out before SpongeBob covered his mouth with a hand.

SpongeBob pointed with his thumb at Squidward and then thrust the notepad and paper to Patrick.

Patrick slowly wrote in chicken scratch: 'Why're u asking dat? Squid's a good guy 4 da most part.' below SpongeBob's sentence. He gave the notepad and pencil vack to SpongeBob.

SpongeBob read Patrick's sentence, scribbled 'He's not Numan. Remember what the flamen was talking about at the temple?' on another empty note, and dropped the utensils to Patrick's hand.

Patrick wrote 'Wat's a flamen?' in big letters below and tossed the notepad and pencil to SpongeBob.

SpongeBob crouched and caught the utensils.

"What're you guys doing?" said Squidward.

SpongeBob wore a grin.

"We were just playing tic-tac-toe."

Squidward turned his gaze towards elsewhere.

With his back facing Squidward, SpongeBob read Patrick's sentence. He sighed.

Beyond the neighbors' range of visibility, Smelly was following from behind. Its red pupils gradually brightened as it hopped further northeast.

S-S-S-S-S

Sixteen minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

The flamen was now in a barren plain, miles away from the nearest building. He brushed away the sand up kicked up by the wind.

Countless feet away was a circle of towering coral pieces.

He took out the cube and held it forward.

BLEEEEK

The northeast needle beeped loudly. It moved, pointing exactly at the grove of coral.

'That must be their location.' The flamen clicked a button that was on his sceptor's bottom.

CTHUNG

The scepter doubled its length.

Metal shaped like the letter 'C' extended from the scepter's top.

He turned the scepter towards the ground.

PSSSH

The sceter fired a gust, sending him forward by several miles.

When he got close enough to the coral pieces, he dug his 'heels' to the ground.

SKIIIIIID

The flamen stopped. He then climbed a coral piece. When he managed to reach its summit, he looked below.

'Dear Minerva, they're in bigger numbers than I thought.'

Countless skinny tattooed women and men of various underwater species wearing loose garments and masks had congregated in the basin inside the circle of coral. They were dancing to the frenetic beat of a tambourine being played by a woman hooded in a dark green robe. The dancers were all moving around a group of masked warriors who wore armor that sparkled near the joints.

Waves of magical energy were flowing out of the orifices of the dancers' heads and were getting absorbed by the warriors through slits in their armor.

The glow of the warriors' armor gradually brightened as the ritual continued.

The flamen glanced at the other coral pieces.

'I got to find an opening.'

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward were on the opposite side of the coral grove.

The beat of the tambourine and the humming of the dancers caused Patrick to begin beating his forehead like a drum.

SpongeBob grabbed Patrick's arms, stopping his drumming.

"Don't do that, Pat!" he whispered. "The ghosts are trying to trick us. If we're too loud, it can reveal our location."

Squidward had leaned his left ear towards the wall of coral. His eyes were closed. As he meditated on the timing of the tambourine's beat, the sounds of the Mysterian temple during a visit that happened a month ago gradually surfaced.

"Bacchus..." he blurted queitly.

"Dionysus?" SpongeBob leaned his head towards one side.

"Didn't that holiday already pass?" Patrick scratched his head to the tambourine's rhythm.

Squidward opened his eyes. He crossed his arms.

"The music reminds me of the rituals done for Bacchus," he said.

"But that's impossible. Ghosts come from Hades. They aren't supposed to worship the gods anymore. Their fate's been already decided. A Nemesis wouldn't worship the gods either since they already serve Minerva."

Squidward put a hand on his chin.

"Is that what Numans believe?"

"Oh yeah~" SpongeBob forced out a chuckle. "You're not a Numan."

Squidward preserved a mask of calmness.

"I'm not an expert on religion."

A light bulb lit up in Patrick's head.

"So you believe in rebirth, right?"

Squidward shook his head.

"Not necessarily. I'm not a believer. I just like watching the Mysteries. I treat the rituals like concerts and plays."

"Does it still bring you peace-of-mind?" said SpongeBob.

"Yes, but I never believed in the first place."

"Then why bother going?" said Patrick.

Squidward turned back to the coral.

"Just a habit from my mom."

S-S-S-S-S

"Eeachkoosu mychoosum~"

"Eeachkoosu mychoosum~"

"Eeachkoosu mychoosum~"

"Eeachkoosu mychoosum~"

"Eeachkoosu mychoosum~"

The dancers were chanting thunderously. Their circle formation mingled into a web of flowing lines. Their pupils were dilated, their eyes were glowing light green, and they were not blinking.

The aura flowing from their eyes now looked like water spouts.

The armor was absorbing that aura like vacuums. The armor's sparkles were as bright as headlights.

The flamen ran to the left edge of the summit and slid to a valley between coral pieces.

A group of bushes was next to a coral piece.

The flamen smirked.

'Here we go.' He lightly tapped the scepter against the ground.

A quick burst of an invisible force pushed the flamen off the coral.

The flamen then grabbed onto the coral piece from behind, slid around the coral, and dove into the bushes.

The hooded woman slowed her tambourine playing and looked to her right. Her glowing yellow eyes narrowed.

S-S-S-S-S

The three neighbors, with widened eyes, were watching the dancers from the hooded woman's left. They were all clinging to a coral piece, with Squidward being the furthest behind.

Within Squidward's mental vision, the image of the magic paper lying near the Mysteiran temple flashed by. All of his limbs were trembling.

SpongeBob was staring at Squidward.

"Does it ring a bell?"

'Are the Mysterians behind the spread of the magic papers?!' Squidward stepped back and tightened his grip on the coral piece. 'But the dolphins said they're a cult. There's no way they're actual members.' "They must've used the ritual for its enchanting properties."

Patrick took a step into the grove.

"That sounds 'bout right," he said.

The fierceness exuded from the warriors' masks and the immense number of dancers reminded SpongeBob of an issue from the Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy comics. He pointed towards the hooded woman.

"That must be the Nemesis."

"But why're they wearing masks? Aren't they those masked people we saw in Jellyfish Fields?" said Patrick.

"They're bodies look too different. They have to be ghosts. Why would the flamen lie to us?" said SpongeBob.

The dancers' movements shifted.

SpongeBob lightly elbowed his neighbors.

"Now's our chance." He ran into the basin.

Patrick followed SpongeBob.

"OOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" said SpongeBob and Patrick simultaneously.

Squidward cowered behind the coral piece.

The dancers dashed to the side opposite that of SpongeBob and Patrick. They began to exit from the grove.

SpongeBob grinned.

'It's working.'

The flamen facepalmed.

'Guess I have to find some other means.' He leaped from the bush while leaving the rod behind the bush. He dove towards the warriors and swung on their shins with his scepter.

BAM CLANG CLANG

The warriors fell to the ground.

SpongeBob poked Patrick's arm.

"Make the scariest face you can think of," he said.

Patrick nodded and twist his face into an orc-like scowl with gums revealed.

SpongeBob pressed his nose inside-out, pulled back his lips so hard that his mouth looked like a puckered hole, and pulled back his eyelids so that they turned inside-out.

"OOOUUUAAAUUOOOOAAAUOOOOAAA!" said Patrick and SpongeBob as they ran towards the hooded woman.

The hooded woman turned towards them and raised a hand covered in a light blue aura.

SMACK

The flamen swung his scepter against her face. He then jabbed the scepter into her stomach and threw her towards the warriors.

The woman's hood flew back. She was an angler fish wearing a mask that had sparkle patterns.

CLUNG

She collided into the warriors.

T-THUD

The warriors fell back to the ground.

One of the warriors got to his knees.

"Tsoecha. Rakmaoadny zkgbeceyan!" He held the mace back, aiming it at the flamen.

The flamen turned towards SpongeBob and Patrick.

"Stay back!"

His shout echoed throughout the grove.

SpongeBob and Patrick halted. Their normal faces returned.

SpongeBob blushed.

S-S-S-S-S

The dancers ran even faster from the grove, forming a stampede.

S-S-S-S-S

The robed woman glanced at the running dancers and grit her teeth.

"Zfubluk. Xsqugh," she whispered hoarsely.

Smelly hopped through a space between the coral pieces. She landed before the robed woman.

The robed woman grabbed Smelly's leaf and closed her eyes.

The arm and the leaf glowed brightly.

Images of SpongeBob's neighborhood from outside, images of the pineapple's living room, and the many sensations Smelly had felt streamed into the robed woman's mind.

She nodded, stood up, and poked Smelly's nose.

POOF

Smelly broke into a cloud of dust that faded into nonexistence.

"Smelly?" SpongeBob's eyes moistened. "Sh-She- Wh-Wh-"

"It was a spy."-The flamen swung at a warrior's head-"It's one of the creatures they had taken over."

"Like a sea bear?" said Patrick.

The flamen's grip on the scepter faltered.

WHAM

A warrior swung his mace at the flamen's bag.

"Oof!" The flamen broke his fall with a hand. He ran to SpongeBob and Patrick. He then turned his back towards them and held out his arms to his left and right. "Stay behind me."

The robed woman took out a bronze chalice from her robe and took off its lid.

A faint mist rose from the exposed purple liquid.

'The wine!' The flamen aimed his scepter at the chalice.

The scepter shot an invisible arrow made out of winds.

CRACK

The chalice exploded.

SPLASH

The wine spilled to the ground.

"Mley!" The robed woman threw the remaining handle to the ground. While shaking both of her fists, she crushed the handle with her foot.

The warriors moved into a semi-circle formation and charged towards the flamen.

The flamen held the sceptor like a shotgun and repeatedly tapped its bottom with his thumb.

S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-SIK

A volley of wind slices flew towards the warriors.

C-C-CRIK

THUNK

The wind sliced through the warriors' armor, pushing them back by several feet.

"How was Smelly being a spy?" SpongeBob sniffed back his tears. "He just wanted food."

"That thing was no ordinary animal. Its mind had been cr"-He kicked back a warrior-"I mean, altered to gather information for the ghosts."

Patrick stared at the cuts on the warriors' exposed skin.

"Guess that's why it kept looking at things."

"B-But he knocked on the door! Why would a spy do that?!" said SpongeBob.

The flamen gestured towards the orifices on his head.

"The creature uses its senses, especially touch, to record what the ghosts desire."

CLANG CLUNK WHAM

The flamen swung at several warriors. His back pushed SpongeBob and Patrick further towards the grove's edge.

"If it was using more than touch, the ghost must've wanted highly-detailed info. Perhaps they were planning to ambush your homes."

WHANG BAM CLUNG

Using both sides of the scepter, the flamen jabbed at the horde of warriors jumping towards him.

A warrior who was standing at a far side of the grove aimed his mace at the flamen. Within his supernatural vision, he detected a certain aura emanating from him.

"Buraluked tczalbia!" He closed one eye like a sniper and squeezed the mace.

The mace glowed.

ZAAP

A ball of freezing aquamarine flames erupted from the mace's top.

CLINK CLINK

The flamen spun the scepter against the flame ball, splitting it into two flames that flew to his left and right.

B-BOOM

The two flame balls flew to one coral piece each, exploding into blasts of hail that looked like fireworks.

"Ooh~!" Patrick clapped.

The warrior ran towards the flamen while holding the mace upwards.

FFFFFFFOOOOO

A spout of aquamarine flame bursted from the mace's top in a consistent torrent.

The warrior, holding the mace like a sword, swung at the flamen.

PFI

The flamen's scepter shot another slice of wind.

The aquamarine flame weakened for one second but then regained its former strength.

FFWOO

FWISSH

FWOOO

FWISSSH

FWOOO

FWISSSH

The flamen and the warrior exchanged wind pockets and flame bursts, with the flamen shooting at the flame and the warrior slicing at the flamen.

FWWwWWwwWWFWOoOH

The aquamarine flames and the gusts fused to form a tornado of embers that soared from the grove.

The ember tornado pierced through the fog and left behind a hole in the sky.

S-S-S-S-S

A beam of sunlight was coming down to the grove.

The dancers, who were now almost a mile from the grove, halted.

"Gligsbuirbjko." One dancer pointed at the grove. She perceived the beam to be a beacon. "Edaqwclikos bnemuoa resfgohoh." She gestured towards all of the other former dancers, who gathered around her.

The other dancers hastily searched through the loins of their garments.

"Ai~!" said another dancer. He was holding up a small purple bag.

All of the other dancers stopped searching.

The whole group ran towards the grove.

S-S-S-S-S

The flamen dove to the warrior's right.

PFFII

The flamen's scepter shot a gust towards the warrior's mace.

CLANNG

The mace flew out of the warrior's hand and landed on a distant corner of the grove.

FFFOOooOOoo

The mace's subzero flames wavered out to the ground, leaving behind a trail of ice.

A warrior who had been watching the battle from behind a coral piece dove to the mace and grabbed it. Compared to his comrades, he was unscathed. He then took out his own mace.

He held both maces forward like pistols.

FFWO FFWO FFWO FFWO FFWO FFWO FFWO FFWO FFWO

The warrior fired flame bullets.

PFFFFFFIIIIIIII

The flamen spun his scepter so quickly that it looked like a fan. He ran towards the warrior, deflecting the flame bullets.

CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK CLINK

The flame bullets landed on the coral pieces and the ground, leaving behind puddles of ice.

CLAAANNNG

FW- CLANK

CLIINK

SIK SIK CLINK

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

FWOO CLINK CLINK

CLANNK SIK CLANG

The flamen swung his scepter against the warrior's maces while the warrior used one mace to swing at the scepter and the other to shoot flame bullets. Sparks, tiny gusts, and pieces of flame rained out of their exchange.

The warrior who had lost his mace ran towards the flamen from behind.

WHAK

He kicked the left side of the flamen's body.

The flamen faltered.

FWOO FWOO FWOO FWOO FWOO FWOO FWOO FWOO

The warrior with two maces shot another volley of flame bullets.

Some of the flame bullets landed on the flamen's limbs, wrapping them in ice.

The flamen, with his non-frozen left hand, turned his scepter towards the two-maced warrior.

SIIK

A wind slice erupted from the scepter and pierced through the two-maced warrior's armored feet.

"AAH!" The two-maced warrior attempted to hop on one foot while quickly switching feet each hop. After a few hops, he tripped on a fallen coral fragment.

CRRAAACK

The two-maced warrior fell onto the flamen, breaking the ice on his body.

The flamen tugged his body and bag off of the two-maced warrior's body. He took out from his bag what looked like a glass cylinder and turned towards the weaponless warrior. He flicked a switch on the cylinder.

A tiny hole on the cylinder's top opened. It shot a clear liquid.

SPLASH

The clear liquid landed on the weaponless warrior's torso and seeped through the armor's slits.

An itching sensation quickly spread throughout his body.

The weaponless warrior took off his armor and began to scratch himself.

HHUUUUUUUU

The flamen's scepter shot a gust.

SLAM

The weaponless warrior hit a rock back-first. He collapsed to the ground.

The other warriors gathered around a certain opening in the grove.

The flamen tapped another button on his scepter.

rrrrrrruuummmble

The dancers poured back into the grove, with the dancer holding the bag taking the lead.

The flamen widened his eyes upon seeing the bag. He then held out the cylinder towards the former dancers.

SPLASH

The cylinder ejected a wave of liquid to the dancers.

The dancers scratched themselves. After several seconds, they converged into a mass of scratching flesh as they awkwardly attempted to push themselves out of the grove.

The dancer holding the bag dropped it as he got squeezed by his comrades.

PFI PFI PFI PFI PFI PFI PFI PFI PFI PFI

The flamen, with the precision of a sharpshooter, shot pockets of wind with his scepter towards the dancers' heads.

T-T-T-T-THUD

The former dancers collapsed to the ground in a mass heap, kicking up a cloud of sand that was thicker than the fog.

The flamen coughed. His eyes, now irritated, almost closed. When the cloud cleared somewhat, he glanced around.

The bag could no longer be seen.

'Darn. It must've fell underneath them.' The flamen crouched next to the pile of masked people, took out a silver rod with a shiny square attached to its bottom, and stuck the rod through the pile.

The rod did not beep.

The remaining warriors, frowning, marched towards the flamen in a formation that looked like a jagged line. They held their maces forward.

PFOO PFOO PFOO PFOO PFOO PFOO PFOO PFOO PFOO PFOO

They shot forth a volley of bright green balls that consisted of a mix of plasma and liquid.

The flamen rolled his eyes. He twirled the scepter behind his back.

C-C-CLINK

The scepter deflected all of the shots.

S-SSSSSSSSS

The shots landed on two coral pieces exactly opposite of each other, corroding the coral.

C-CRAAAAAAAAASSSH

The two coral pieces fell onto the warriors simultaneously, breaking into several pieces and knocking all of them out.

Patrick's jaw had dropped.

"He wasn't even trying that time."

"You think he was holding back his strength?!" said SpongeBob.

"I had to." The flamen glanced in all directions.

All of the masked people were unconscious.

"I'm one of the best exorcists around, but you gotta show some restraint. If I accidentally destroy one of the souls, the whole Triad would've gotten mad."

Patrick's jaw dropped even further.

"You can destroy souls?" For a few seconds, he wondered if the fish standing before him was Zeus in disguise.

"Although I've never done it before, I'm certainly capable of doing so." The flamen picked up the rod from the bushes, turned it off, and returned it to his bag. He cracked his joints. 'If I had let that battle carry on for too long, more of them would've probably come.'

Squidward peeked from the coral piece he was clinging to.

"Is it over?"

The flamen nodded.

Squidward took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

A purple cloud spilled into the grove. It lingered for a few seconds before disappearing.

The flamen knit his brows. His heartbeat quickened. He looked behind his shoulder.

Save for a few scraps of broken armor and cloths, the grove was now entirely empty.

'They waited until the last second to do that?' The flamen looked down at the slight tears on his robe. 'Although their weapons were unusually strong, their organization was quite weak. The attack must've been hastily planned.' He glanced at the scraps. None of them looked like the bag. 'They took it with them too…'

SpongeBob stepped to the flamen with sparkling eyes.

"Can I have your autograph?"

The flamen shrugged.

"Okay." He took out a pen from a pocket in his robe.

SpongeBob took out his notepad, flipped to an empty note, and then held ould the notepad. After the flamen signed it, he managed to decode the unique cursive that the signature consisted of.

"Your name's Carpthur?"

The flamen tilted his head. He wiped a few sand particles from his eyepatch.

"You guys need help going home?" He put his hands on his hips.

SpongeBob looked at the plain from the corner of his eye.

The fog had vanished. The sand was glowing from the patches of bright blue leaking from the cloudy sky. T

The hole in the clouds above the grove was gradually widening.

"No, we'll be fine," said SpongeBob.

The flamen pressed his hands together.

"You guys still remember that prayer I told you to do, right?" he said. "We still gotta do that. Otherwise, Minerva won't stay happy."

"Yessir." SpongeBob bowed.

BZZZZZZ

A side of the flamen's robe vibrated.

The flamen, from a pocket inside his robe, took out a phone that had a flashy jacket and a touchable screen. He held the phone near his ear, leaned against the nearest coral piece, and began a conversation with a fellow flamen who had recently finished a speech.

"How was he able to buy a SeaBerry 417?" Squidward put a hand on his hip. "Only people like Mr. Krabs could afford something that expensive."

SpongeBob put a finger on his lip.

"Mr. Krabs is rich?"

"No doubt," said Squidward. "He just doesn't like spending it."

"Then I guess Carptur must've saved alotta money to get that phone. The church doesn't pay flamens that much."

"Hierophants aren't paid much either, unless they made some 'great contribution'."

"The donations from believers do help flamens get by though."

Squidward cocked a brow.

"Why would he use people's hard-earned money to buy things he doesn't need? Aren't Numans supposed to be humble?"

Behind closed lips, SpongeBob pressed his tongue between his teeth.

"I don't think Carpthur would do something that sleazy. For all we know, somebody could've donated it to him directly."

S-S-S-S-S

Patrick was wandering around the coral grove, staving off the heaviness that was gradually returning to his eyelids.

A sand lump that was lying against a coral piece.

He walked to that lump.

A speck of purple fabric was on the lump's top.

"Is that a seanut butter bar?!" He grabbed the speck of fabric and pulled it up.

It was the purple bag the masked people had possessed.

Patrick licked his lips.

"Extra large!" He opened the crumpled bag.

Inside the bag was what Patrick perceived to be a wrapper.

"It's in a special flavor too?" Patrick lifted the 'wrapper' from the bag.

The thin object had a soft yellow glow.

Patrick sucked his teeth.

"It's a little small."

S-S-S-S-S

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

The silver rod shook inside the flamen's bag.

The flamen, who had put down his phone and was walking towards his temple, halted. He took out the silver rod and turned around.

S-S-S-S-S

Patrick returned the 'wrapper' to the bag and closed the bag.

S-S-S-S-S

After a few seconds, the silver rod stopped beeping.

'A glitch.' He shook the silver rod and tapped its bottom. 'I'll probably have to juice this up later.' He adjusted his cap and shoved the silver rod back into the bag.

S-S-S-S-S

Patrick stuffed the bag into his pants.

"I'll save it for later. It'll be better if I eat this on a special day." He began to walk towards his neighbors.

A star symbol was on the cloth.

Patrick stopped walking and gazed at the cloth. As he continued staring, the star's color slowly absorbed his vision, pulling him out of the present world.

S-S-S-S-S

The window in the living room of Patrick's maternal grandparents' house had been opened, bringing in a breeze that counterbalanced the summer's humidity. Not a single religious icon was in the room.

A five year old Patrick was sitting on a rug while playing with two action figures that depicted Barnacle Boy and the Sinister Slug.

With a turned-on fan placed right next to the chair he was sitting on, Patrick's grandfather was knitting a medium-sized quilt. He had slightly darker skin and was wearing decades-old rags and a hat that shielded his face from the sun.

Patrick looked up.

The quilt's had a peculiar combination of loud and quiet colors. He wiped a slight bit of drool from the side of his mouth.

"What's that?" He pointed at the quilt.

Patrick's grandfather sat up.

"It's a quilt." He held out the quilt towards Patrick, revealing the symbol etched on the quilt, which consisted of a star that had inward curving lines between each point while being inside a circle. "You like how it looks?"

Patrick scratched his belly with the Barnacle Boy action figure.

"Why is the shape thingy like that? It would look good if you drew it… 'straight'."

His grandfather chuckled.

"It's our family's signature, in a way." He rubbed a bit of dust off his chair, which was made out of wood cut from a tree centuries ago. He held his dirtied hand towards Patrick. "Did you know that this design is older than this chair?"

Patrick slowly leaned forward.

"Real~ly?"

His grandfather shook the dust off his hand and resumed his knitting.

"Your grandma's mom taught me how to make it, her mom's mom taught her mom, her mom's mom's mom taught her mom's mom, and so on."

Patrick was now sitting on his knees before the quilt.

"You don't know who made it first?"

His grandfather shrugged.

"The line of teachers goes so far back that I think the whole family's forgotten by this point."

Patrick grabbed the lowest edge of the quilt.

"You can't forget."

His grandfather raised a brow.

"Hm?"

"Since you copied the thing the person made first, that person is still here, through that copy." Patrick stroked the symbol's edges, feeling the loose strings of unfinished fabric.

"Wow, Patrick, you're awfully bright." The grandfather pet Patrick on the head. "Why did your parents say your wits were slow?"

S-S-S-S-S

Patrick held out the cloth towards SpongeBob and Squidward.

"Guys, look!"

SpongeBob jogged up to Patrick and looked at the cloth. The many art pieces he had seen in the Barnacle Bay Art Museum flashed by.

"Hey, Squid!"

Squidward, with a deadpan face, turned towards SpongeBob.

SpongeBob pointed at the cloth.

"Does this look familiar?" he said.

Squidward's arms hung limply as he walked to the cloth. He then snatched the cloth and held it near his face.

"That special shape was on that vase I showed you at the museum."

"That's right." SpongeBob snapped his fingers.

"How old was it?" Patrick took the cloth from Squidward's hands.

"More than a century. The vase was covered in alotta dust," said SpongeBob. "You recognize it?"

Patrick nodded. "It was on some quilt my grandpa made." He scratched his chin until a light bulb lit up. "You think an ancestor of mine made that vase?" He looked at Squidward.

Squidward glanced at his watch.

The workday was going to start in one hour.

Squidward looked in the tiki's direction. He shrugged.

"I don't think the sculptor was a starfish. His image in the encyclopedia looked like an regular fish to me."

"Oh…" Patrick glanced at the pebbles on the ground. A lump began to form in his throat.

"Maybe that symbol was popular back in the day. You don't have to think about it so much." SpongeBob put a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "It's all in the past anyway."

"Yeah…" said Patrick.

SpongeBob walked in the temple's direction while holding Patrick's hand.

"Sponge, your house's that way." Patrick pointed to what he thought was his neighborhood's direction.

"We gotta go to the temple. There's a ritual we have to do."

S-S-S-S-S

Many miles away from Bikini Bottom, more than a hundred masked people were lying on a large mound. Each one was lying on etched figures that had been drawn exactly to their body measurements.

A glowing mist from the figures' lines were seeping into their bodies.

One of the masked warriors, whose body was already healed, was glancing at each of the dancers' lying bodies.

None of them had the 'wrapper' nearby, although what looked like the bag was nearby one.

He then turned to the robed woman, who had put her hood back on.

"Koalimgha urapsmho zlaapghoi."

"Lualayah! Reicanghlut mnacoob!" The hooded woman repeatedly stomped the ground.

The warrior widened his eyes and put a hand on her arm.

"Ubgebarexsori hagazabhquiy wqokaskp ufok eoo ploheetr," he mumbled while trying to pull her arm away from a certain pocket in her robe.

"Ghanvoa lhabbqeua bhglahwu aghkhbqu!" The hooded woman shoved the warrior away and took out an orb that contained swirling dark clouds, violent waters, and many sparks of electricity. She then ran to the mound's summit and raised the orb towards the sky.

"Byahkha Sooz, ghbalqu aqevbzkgna!"

"Byahkha Sooz, ghbalqu aqevbzkgna!"

"Byahkha Sooz, ghbalqu aqevbzkgna!"

"Byahkha Sooz, ghbalqu aqevbzkgna!"

Her chant echoed across the plain.

SHATTER

The top of the orb broke into many pieces that flew across the mound, waking up a few dancers.

BIIIIIIIIINNNN

The orb unleashed a ray of lightning and swirling clouds towards the sky.

The ray, upon reaching a certain height, flashed into a white ball that then spread over the sky in a white ripple.

After almost a minute, the sky became clear.

The warrior put a hand over his mouth and stared at where the ray had vanished.

"Bighakbvu aquffhlahg…"

The hooded woman pointed at the plain surrounding her.

"Cazafhza yuhga melanak."

S-S-S-S-S

Ten minutes later…

S-S-S-S-S

SpongeBob and Patrick, while sitting on their knees before the flamen, had their faces and hands on the floor.

All three of them were on circles that had been drawn with a special type of ash. All three circles were connected by a circular line, forming a bigger circle.

The flamen, with both hands outstretched towards SpongeBob and Patrick, was chanting a hymn to Athena in ecclesiastical Latin. His voice echoed across the temple's walls, giving the impression that a choir was singing around the whole circle. He had repeated the chant so much that it now sounded even to him like a mystic and incomprehensible language.

SMACK

The flamen clapped his hands together and opened his eyes.

SpongeBob and Patrick sat up and opened their eyes.

The flamen gently took hold of a scepter that had been engraved with endless lines of protective prayers and chants. The scepter's top, which had been embalmed with oil blessed by the Pontifex of the Oceanic Union, was placed on SpongeBob's head and then on Patrick's head.

The flamen then took out two red cup-shaped hats that had tassels on them. He placed them on SpongeBob and Patrick's heads.

"May you, from this day forward, maintain good conduct towards your neighbors. Keep these hats as a reminder of your promises."

SpongeBob and Patrick stood up, held out their hands towards the flamen, and simultaneously uttered the Our Maiden on the Chariot prayer for the twelth time:

"Oh Minerva, thou art the divine embodiment of prudence, justice, and wisdom. May thou forgive us of our transgression and guide us with your chariot towards the Monad. May thou use your Gorgoneion to shield us from the fetters that delay our enlightenment. May our knowledge endure like the olive trees that thou hast bestowed upon the world. So be it."

The flamen separated his feet and stabbed the scepter's bottom between them.

"Hail to the Triad!"

A pause.

"You may now freely converse." The flamen walked towards his bag.

SpongeBob clapped towards Patrick.

"Good job!"

"Really?" Patrick's eyes gained a faint sheen of moisture.

"You said the prayer way better than me." SpongeBob tapped his stomach with his fist. "Your deep voice made you sound like a god."

Patrick scratched his head as he watched the flamen put the scepter into the bag.

A light bulb lit up in SpongeBob's head.

"Whoops." He stepped out of his circle and giggled. "Guess I didn't pay attention to today's speech."

"What speech?" said Patrick.