Chapter One
Maria made her way up to the front door of the apartment slowly. She wasn't sure if Michael still lived here even. One of the curtains was open part way and she peeked inside. That same Metallica poster hung on the wall. That was the first thing he put up, she remembered it. Because he had taken twenty minutes to hang it, wanting it to be perfect. And she had just watched, and smiled. She had smiled. The thought of smiling hurt her now. She reached her hand up and rested it on the door softly. Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest. She rested her cheek against the cool surface and clenched her eyes shut for a moment. So close. She was so close to him.
Closing her hand into a fist, she knocked on the door and waited. It was late in the evening, but not too late. She hoped he was home, he had to be home. And if he wasn't, she would wait. After a moment she heard shuffling on the other side of the door and then it yanked open. He simply stared at her. And she just stared back.
"Maria." His voice was the most beautiful thing she had heard in months.
"Michael." Her voice cracked and she reached towards him, her hands were shaking. He dragged her inside of the apartment and she was pinned to the door. Then his lips came crashing down on hers. His hands were everywhere at once, leaving trails of warmth wherever they touched. She trembled against him.
Their kisses were passionate, and full of the pain they had felt for all those months. Maria held onto him like a life line, and Michael touched her anywhere he could find bare skin. To prove she was real, she was alive. That it wasn't just a dream this time.
He carried her to his bedroom, the bed was a new addition since she'd last been there. She was sure almost everything would be a new addition to the apartment. He laid her back and the sheets and she welcomed the warmth of his body on top of hers. She was always so cold. She could never get warm anymore.
Michael never broke the kiss. He stroked his tongue against hers, tasting her mouth. And he could feel the pain, and fear and anger rolling off of her, but it wasn't directed at him, so he continued his explorations. Within seconds their clothes were gone, he didn't remember taking them off, but did remember the feel of her body beneath his. Bare skin on bare skin. She was cool, and he was warm.
They didn't speak. They didn't even look at each other as Michael entered her. Her fingers dug into his back and her legs were around his waist, curling herself up against him. His weight was rested on one arm while the other was wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly against him.
Their movements were rapid, along with their breathing which had become harsh gasping breaths. He felt her go rigid before she cried out, and he let himself go inside of her. But neither of them moved. They stayed there, plastered together, glued together by their own sweat.
Michael was the first one to pull back. He looked down at her, her eyes were shut, and her breathing was just now starting to return to normal. She looked tired. Her hair was longer now, and darker. He carefully rolled them onto their sides and finally her eyes fluttered open. They didn't say a word, she just buried her head in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes again. Michael pulled the blankets up over them and kept them tightly wrapped around her back.
--
Maria woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. She looked at the naked man beside her and ran her hands over her face before climbing out of bed. She picked up his button down shirt from the floor and pulled it on before heading into the bathroom to splash some cool water on her face. When she entered the bedroom again he was still asleep, she watched him for a moment before going into the kitchen to get something to drink.
The cold water felt good going down her throat and she slowly slid down to the floor. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She didn't think she was able to anymore. She'd spent so much time crying over the last several months, she didn't think it was possible. She heard a movement and lifted her head, a second later, the disheveled man appeared in the entry way to the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" He asked sleepily, for the first time saying something other than her name.
"Needed something to drink." She told him softly.
"I thought it was dream." He said, as if he still wasn't sure that it was real, that she was actually there. That this was really happening.
"It's not a dream, I'm here." She pushed herself back up to her feet and crossed the distance between them and kissed him softly. "I'm here." She told him and felt his strong arms wrap around her and clutch her to his chest. "I'm here." She murmured again.
"Maria...?" Michael started and she shook her head quickly.
"Shh, not now." She told him. "Later, we'll talk later." She took his hand in hers and led him back to the bedroom and they laid down together, her back to him while he spooned her. She felt him bury his face in her hair and inhale deeply.
"I missed you." His voice sounded broken, she had never heard him sound like that before, and it scared her a little. How much had changed in the time she'd been gone? Maria reached up and clutched his hand tightly in her own smaller hand. .
"I missed you too." She murmured and felt him pull the blankets around them and within seconds she felt him relax behind her, but she was still wide awake. Sleep would not come easy, ever again.
Morning came too soon for Maria. She opened her eyes, there was a crack of light shinning in through the curtain, and onto the bed, across her face, and Michael's. Michael. She was in his arms. They were still wrapped around her tightly. Slowly she rolled over so that she was facing him and saw his eyes open, watching her. He reached up and pushed some hair back from her face, and ran his fingers down her back.
"Why didn't you ever come after me?" Maria finally asked, her voice just barely above a whisper.
Michael sighed. He knew that question would come up. And that she would be mad at him, and she would hate him, and she would probably leave him. "I wanted to." He told her. "I've argued with Max for the last... ten months about it. About you." He clenched his hand into a fist. That was one of the times he broke his hand.
"Maxwell was convinced you were fine, you'd be fine. They wouldn't hurt you. They just wanted us to come after you." Michael shook his head. "I knew it was a lie. I knew they were hurting you. That they didn't care if you were one of us or not, that ... they would hurt you because of what we are." He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "How bad did they hurt you?" Maria didn't respond, she just looked at him. "That's what I thought." He sighed. He clenched his jaw, and felt the anger rising inside of him.
He knew that he should have done something, he had never really listened to Max before, and the most important thing in his life, and he just let it go, he let Max tell him what to do.
"I never told them anything." She said quietly and he nodded shortly.
"I know." He scoffed quietly. He knew she didn't, he knew she wouldn't. He could feel her breath on his chest, warm puffs of air. She was living, and breathing in his arms again. Naked skin pressed to his. As an after thought, he realized that after ten months, the first thing he did was kiss her, and touch her, and grope her. But their 'relationship' always had been so physical, it was no real surprise.
And he'd needed it, he'd needed to feel her, to know that she was alive. So he could kill himself with the thoughts of how much pain she had endured. "I want you to know..." He swallowed. The emotion thing, she was bringing it back. Part of him hated it, because he felt so much more pain when she was around. And most of it wasn't his own, it was for her. "I should have done something." He laughed, not a real laugh, a bitter, sardonic laugh.
"If you tried, they would have taken you too." Maria lifted her head up slightly to look at his hard features. He had changed so much in the last several months. But she still thought he was beautiful. Scruffy facial hair adorned his chin, his hair was longer, and shaggier. His features were harder.
"At least then you wouldn't have been alone." Maria nearly swallowed her tongue. He would have been willing to give himself up, for her. Stonewall Guerin, the man that never let anyone in, that cared solely for himself, would have sacrificed himself for her. Maria DeLuca, the ditsy blonde, who had only criticized everything about him. He actually cared. Someone truly cared about her. For the first time in months tears filled her eyes.
They trickled down her cheeks for a few seconds before a sob escaped. He glanced down at her, and then pulled her closer to him. His lips were pressed against her forehead, and he held her trembling form while she cried. His hands smoothed up and down her back, and through her hair. And she held onto him as tightly as she could. Her fingers dug into his skin as she tried to get closer to him.
After some time her sobs subsided and Michael looked down at her face. "We should call the others, and meet them someplace." Maria wasn't so sure she was ready for that though. All those months on her own, alone, by herself, to suddenly be thrust into a group of people, she wasn't ready.
"Yeah..."
"I'll call Max and tell them to meet me at the Crashdown."
"Okay." But neither of them moved. They continued to lay there in each others arms, neither quite ready to face the world yet again. It took a few more hours before they got up. "I'm going to shower." Maria told him quietly as she sat up slowly. She held the sheet against her chest and he watched her. His fingers danced down her bare back and she turned her head to look at him. "I'll be out in a few minutes."
Michael watched as she got up and walked into the bathroom, the door closing softly behind her. He just laid there, the water turned on, and he heard her close the curtain. He grabbed for his cell phone and dialed Max's number to set up a meeting, but didn't bother to tell him what it was about.
Maria came back out of the bathroom, her hair was wet and falling down around her shoulders, she had a towel wrapped around her, but it was too small for her frame, and barely covered the tops of her thighs. "Michael?" Maria's voice cut through the silence. "Do you..." She bit her lip. Ten months, did she expect him to? "Have any of my clothes? Maybe... still?" She shook her head. "Never mind, forget it, I'm sure you don't, could I just-" He wasn't paying any attention to her. He was digging around in his closet and she just sighed.
A second later he produced a small box and tossed it onto the bed, the lid fell off as it landed and Maria looked at the box. Inside were her clothes. "Oh." She whispered. He had kept them? She lifted her eyes to meet his and he simply nodded before leaving the bedroom.
Maria dug around in the box for several moments before finding a pair of jeans and tank top. Both were just a little too big now, she'd lost some weight while she was being held captive. She was wasting away. But she pushed that thought away and dressed quickly before following Michael into the living room, where she found her shoes.
"Everyone is going to be there?" Maria asked as she tied the laces of her running shoes.
Michael shrugged. "Most likely."
"Okay." She nodded and stood up and glanced around. Michael walked over to her and pulled her against his chest and she went willingly. "I don't know if I can do this."
"It's going to be fine. I'll be there. Everything is going to be fine." He tried to reassure her. She nodded, but she didn't believe him, she wasn't even sure if he believed himself.
They walked outside and Maria was a little surprised to find that he had a dirt bike. He handed her the helmet wordlessly and she tugged it over her head before climbing on behind him. Her arms were around his waist and he started the bike and too soon for Maria's taste they were at the Crashdown. She removed the helmet from her head and smoothed her hair back down. The jeep was already in the parking lot, and Maria dragged in a deep breath.
Michael's hand was on the small of her back, resting against the small patch of bare skin between the top of her jeans and the bottom of her shirt. An encouraging hand, steady, comforting. He guided her through the front door, and was greeted with everyone sitting there waiting. Alex was sitting at the counter, Isabel was beside him sipping a soda, Max and Liz were snuggled together in a booth, and Tess was sitting in a separate booth.
Alex was the first person to look up as the bell over the door went off. "Maria!"
That got everyone else's attention. Before Maria knew what was happening Alex's arms were around her, and her feet were no longer touching the ground. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Then Liz joined in on the hug and Maria couldn't contain the sob. She went weak in their arms and the trio sunk to the floor, a mess of limbs and tears. But Maria's tears were for a different reason than theirs. Theirs were tears of relief. Their friend was home. Maria's were because all she wanted to do was crawl back into Michael's arms and hide.
Max stood and walked over to Michael as he watched the scene before him. "What happened?"
"She showed up at my place last night."
"Are you sure it's her?" Max asked and Michael felt the anger welling up inside of him.
"It is her." He ground out.
Finally Maria managed to pull herself from Alex and Liz's grasp and wrapped her arms around herself. No one was really sure what to say, they were all in shock. Except for Tess. She had heard about Maria, but had come months after she had disappeared.
"So you're Maria?" Maria looked up quickly and then at Michael.
"That's Tess. She's... like us."
"Oh..."
"How did you get out?" Tess asked and Maria just shook her head.
"They..." She swallowed hard and clenched her eyes shut. "They were transferring me to another building...and they didn't sedate me. I took my chances and I ran."
"Where was it at? I mean, a military base? Someplace else?"
"Honestly, I have no idea." Maria shook her head. She wasn't ready for the questions. "I just ran. I got to a road, and I walked. I managed to hitch a few rides until I got back to Roswell."
Liz closed in on Maria again and cupped her face and looked at her. "Are you okay?" She asked and Maria nearly slapped her. She'd just spent ten months with the FBI, yeah, she was just fine and dandy. Couldn't be better. She pulled back from Liz, and didn't pay attention to the wounded expression on her friends face.
"Fine." She muttered and tried to duck behind Michael's arm.
"What did they do to you in there?" Max asked and Maria shot him a glare.
"Whatever they wanted."
"They hurt you?" Isabel asked.
"What do you think?" She held her head in her hands and took a breath. "You're giving me a headache." She lifted her head up and looked directly at Liz, her best friend since childhood. "They took me... they wanted you. Then they realized they made a mistake." She glanced at Max. "But they didn't care. First they said... they said they'd just kill me." She swallowed hard and felt Michael stiffen beside her. "But then they decided why kill me when they could test me."
"But you're human."
"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner." Maria shot Max a dirty look for his comment. "They didn't care. They just wanted someone to poke at. They messed with me, did all kinds of things that they could think of."
"We thought they would let you go." Max tried to tell her. "They wouldn't hurt you, because you're human."
"Well, you were wrong Max!" Maria exploded. "They did hurt me! More than you'll ever know!" She glanced down at the scars on her arms. "Didn't you realize, that after a month! Two!? Three?! They weren't just going to let me go?!"
Her friends stared at her in shock, and she didn't care. She was mad. Livid. Angry at them, at the FBI. Topolsky. Everyone. She went missing for ten months and no one tried to help her. Isabel could go into peoples dreams, but she never came to her. Max was their 'leader' he always took charge, and yet, she wasn't important enough to save.
"Thanks a lot you guys." Maria said before turning and storming out of the diner. Michael shook his head and followed her quickly.
"Maria." He called jogging to catch up with her and she stopped.
"I need to be alone Michael. It's too much, I'm just... I need to just be alone." She looked up at him and rested her hand against his chest for a moment.
"Okay." He told her and dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and thrust it into her hand. "Take it. I have to work till late tonight. If you need anything, or if anything happens." He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head and Maria closed her eyes and relished in that moment. "Just be careful."
"I will." She told him and then pulled back, casting a last glance at him she walked down the sidewalk, with every step getting more and more angry at her friends. She walked until she found herself at her old home. The Jetta wasn't in the driveway, but instead it was some dark red van. Her brow furrowed. She walked up and knocked on the door. The normal alien plant holder that was on the front step was gone. The door opened and Maria looked up and saw a woman standing there.
"Can I help you?"
"Um... I was... looking for Amy DeLuca." Maria was really confused now.
"Oh, DeLuca, yeah, we bought the house from her, about four months ago. She and the Sheriff got engaged."
Maria opened her mouth and then closed it again. This couldn't be happening. "Thanks." She said and then turned and headed in the direction of Jim Valenti's house. As she reached the house she saw the Sheriff coming out the front door, Amy DeLuca close behind him. He turned and kissed her before walking down to his SUV.
She stood hidden behind a tree as she watched the scene before her. Kyle walked out of the house and headed for his car and Amy waved to him before closing the door. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. She moved on. Everyone had. No one was the same, and neither was she. Michael had changed, he was harder now, more cold. She had done so much with him, he had opened up to her. But, he still had when she came to him. But his presence with other people, it was worse than before.
And her own mother. The woman she loved and wanted to keep safe, had simply moved on. Gotten a new husband, and a new kid. She couldn't believe it. How could it be true? How could her own mother, the woman who had raised her... just forget about her? Maria shook her head and walked away from the Valenti house and angrily ran her fingers through her hair. Why her? Why did this have to happen? Her mother had to have thought she'd run away. Did she ever look for her? Ask her friends? And what had her 'friends' told her mother? She pulled Michael's phone out of her pocket and stared down at it.
She took a breath and dialed the number she never thought she would. The number she hadn't ever wanted to dial. But now, part of her did. She wanted to do it. Revenge. Paybacks. They deserved to suffer like she had.
The phone rang once. "Yes?" The woman's voice made Maria shiver. That woman terrified her.
"Tonight. You'll have an alien in your possession." She hung up the phone and walked again, lost in her own head. Thinking of what she had been through. And what she was willingly putting someone else through.
After a while Maria finally made her way back to the Crashdown, but this time slipped in through the back door. Michael was standing in the kitchen hunched over the grill. "Michael." She said softly as she walked over to him.
"Maria." He glanced at her, and she saw something in his eyes that confused her.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.
"No, not you, never you. Me. Max, Isabel, Tess." He told her flipping a burger.
"Why?" Her brow furrowed.
"What we are, are the reason you had to suffer. All that pain should have been mine, ours. Not yours." Maria walked into the kitchen and took the metal spatula from his hand and set it on the grill before holding his hand in her own.
"You've had enough pain for twenty lifetimes." She told him softly, and he looked at her.
"So have you." Maria nodded a little and kissed his knuckles.
"Stop breaking your hand." She whispered feeling the out of place bumps. Michael slid his fingers into her hair and pulled her close to kiss her softly.
"Why don't you go home, get some rest."
"When do you get off work?"
'Late, after ten."
"Okay." Maria nodded and then left the Crashdown.
Once back at Michael's apartment, she saw a black duffel back outside his door, and she knew that was for her. She took it inside and looked inside, a cell phone, some clothes, and a few various other things, including the keys to the car parked in front of the apartment. Now she just had to wait. She had to wait until the perfect time to call Max and set up a meeting, just the two of them.
It was after eight when Maria finally picked up her cell phone and dialed Max's number. "Max? I really need to talk to you, could you meet me somewhere?" Maria asked, her voice was shaking, she was trying to sound scared. To convince him that he had no other choice but to meet up with her.
"Maria? What is it? What's wrong?"
"Please, Max, I can't do this over the phone. Can you meet me out at the quarry in twenty minutes?"
"Of course, I'll see you then." Maria hung up the phone and tightened her jacket around herself. She was so cold. The wind had picked up and she climbed back into her car to wait. She looked down at her cell phone again and dialed Topolsky again.
"Well?"
"The quarry, be here in half an hour." She hung up the phone and tossed it onto the passenger seat and tapped her hands anxiously against the steering wheel.
Twenty-two minutes later the familiar jeep pulled up beside the black jetta. "Hey." Max said as he jumped out of the jeep and Maria climbed out of her car. "What's wrong? What did you need to talk about in secret?"
"This is your own fault you know." Maria said looking at him.
"What?" He asked confused.
"Saving Liz, that was your first big mistake."
"Maria." Max said taken aback.
"Your second was ... letting me sit in there, waiting. And waiting. Months... Max, ten months I was in there, and you never came. You are the one that told them not to come. That they would just let me go when they realized the aliens weren't coming to my rescue. Do you realize what I went through?! They ran tests! They messed with me! They didn't care if I was human!" Maria yanked her sleeve up and showed him the scars in the crease of her elbow. "They did everything they could think of to make me crack. To get me to confess everything. And I didn't! I never said a word! Seven months I was in there, and I just knew you guys were coming up with a plan to save me. Do you want to know what the final straw was?" Maria asked. "They showed me these videos... surveillance. Yeah, you're being watched. These videos... you and Liz, happy, and laughing. Not planning to save Maria. Isabel and Alex, joking around, Alex going to band practice. My own mother! Flirting with the Sheriff. She's engaged now. The only person that cared, that ever cared was Michael. He's the only one."
"Maria, what are you talking about?" Max was nervous. Maria was glad. A van pulled up and Max held his hand up towards it. Then a second later he realized Maria was pointing a gun at his head.
"I'm talking about what I had to do to keep someone I love safe." Three men climbed out and advanced on Max. "Something that none of you would bother to do for me."