Chapter Four

Maria felt like crying, but the emotions wouldn't surface. Michael was holding her so tightly, all she could feel was relief. His joy, and forgiveness. She thought her heart might explode. Her hands gripped his sides as his hands cupped her face and his lips came crashing down, and he kissed her passionately.

Hours later, she wasn't quite sure how they had ended up at Michael's apartment. But truthfully she didn't care either. All that mattered to her was that Michael was touching her. "I'm here." She whispered. "I'm here." While Michael's mouth left a damp trail over her neck and across her chest. Desperation had taken over the both of them. Taste, touch and smell is all that mattered to them.

Tess made her way into the apartment after her shift at the Crashdown ended. She was tired, and a bubble bath sounded really good. She headed inside and down to the bedroom she had shared with Michael for the last month. When she pushed open the door she was over powered with the scent of sex. She paused and just stared at the mass of limbs on the bed. Michael was holding someone against his chest protectively.

She tilted her head to the side a little, trying to see who it was, when she realized who, her jaw dropped. She saw Michael stir, and she just smiled a little. Tess gave him a little wave and closed the door. Maria was alive. Tess knew she was right. But as Tess closed the door she came to the realization that the home she had been building was no longer hers. She felt dejected.

Tess had known that she was just a filler for Maria with Michael. But Max was supposed to be her destiny and he never wanted her. She didn't belong. With a heavy sigh she snatched up her purse off the floor where she had dropped it and walked back out of the apartment. She didn't know where else to go, and soon ended back up at the Crashdown.

So she just sat there, waiting for what, she wasn't sure. But she didn't have any place else to go. So she was drowning her sorrows in a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Tess Harding right?" She looked up and saw Kyle Valenti standing beside her table.

"Oh! Hi, Kyle." She smiled a little. She'd hit on him before, when she'd very first arrived in Roswell, but nothing had ever come of it.

"Mind if I sit down?" He asked and Tess shook her head.

"No, go, go right ahead." She stuttered out and then blushed. She liked him, he was cute, and nice. She watched as Kyle slid into the booth across from her.

"So, you don't get enough of this place when you're working? You had to stick around after your shift?"

"No... actually I went home but..." She paused. Maria was technically his step sister now. Amy and the Sheriff knew what they were, did Kyle? "Maria is alive. I'm not sure how... or what happened, but she was there, with Michael when I got home, so I left."

"She's alive?" Kyle asked shocked, and then just sat there looking at Tess. Neither spoke for a long time. "You know," Kyle finally started. "This whole thing is really weird." Tess nodded. "The FBI was really after you?" He asked quietly, and she nodded again.

"They were... probably still are. But, Maria slowed them down."

"The explosion?"

"I think it was her. I was sure of it when I first heard. I'm not sure how, but, I think she did it."

"So, where are you going to stay now that Maria's back?"

"I'm not sure yet. That's sort of what I was trying to figure out."

"Well, if you don't figure out anything else, you can always stay at my place. I've got an extra room."

"Kyle, you barely know me, and you're offering to let me live with you?"

"Well, I liked you. When you first came to town, you were cute, and sweet."

"I was?"

"Still are." Kyle grinned. "And, since Evans is too blind to see it, and Michael is too busy with the just back from the dead Maria. You're welcome to stay with me."

Tess just stared at him for a moment, then bit her lip to try and hide her smile that was spreading quickly across her face. "Thank you." She told. "I appreciate that."

Maria woke up slowly, Michael's arms were securely wrapped around her middle. He wasn't letting her go anywhere. She was home again. Safe she thought, but for how long? Would the FBI come after them again, after Michael and the others? "I should go see my mom." She told him softly.

"Yeah." His arms loosened around her waist and then a moment later he pulled away from her and sat up.

Maria sat up as well and watched as he got up and headed for the bathroom. "What happens now Michael? I know you're still angry with me about... well everything. I don't blame you. You should be mad, I betrayed you all, because you made a decision, to protect yourselves and you had every right to do so. And I got that Tess lives here now, I'll go to my mom's."

"You know it was never my decision to leave you in there." Michael's voice rose in anger.

"I know that. I am just..." She scoffed. "Probably should have stayed. Ended it all in there."

"Don't." Michael snapped emerging from the bathroom again. "Don't you dare say that."

"It would have been better for everyone."

"I said don't!" He yelled. Maria looked up at him and got up and gathered her clothes. "Maria-" He cut himself off.

"Forget it Michael. You may have cared about me at one point. Regardless of what happened with me being in there. But I betrayed you." She pulled her clothes on and looked at him. "I"m going to go stay with my mom." She didn't give him the chance to say anything else before she promptly left. She walked down the sidewalk, towards her mother and the Sheriff's house. But when she got to the door she couldn't bring herself to knock. She just stood there. Her mom was inside, but Maria was so scared to see her again.

She wasn't sure how long she stood out there, just staring at the door. It opened slowly, her mother was looking down, digging around in her purse. She looked up and gasped. They stared at each other. Just stared. Maria's jaw trembled and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Maria?" Amy whispered softly. "Is it really you?" Slowly she reached out and touched her daughter's face. A sob tore from her lips when she realized she wasn't dreaming. "My baby." She pulled Maria into her arms and held her tightly.

"Mom." Maria cried and held on for dear life. She could hardly breathe. Some time later Amy pulled Maria back inside, and touched her face, her hair, trying to make sure she was real, that she was actually in her arms again. Alive.

"What happened. Michael said you were dead. But you're not, you're alive. Tell me what is going on Maria."

Maria sunk down onto the couch with her mother. "Michael told you everything... except that I betrayed them. I'd been in there so long... they wanted aliens, I agreed to give them Max, and Isabel. On the condition that they didn't touch Michael. Then they changed the deal. They wanted Michael, and I couldn't... he was the only one that cared. Everyone else just forgot I existed. They moved on. When they changed the deal I told Michael and Tess everything. We went in, and got Max and Isabel out. I was shot. Under normal circumstances I would have been dead, and that is why Michael left me in there. He thought I was dead. But I wasn't. They fixed me up, and decided to play with me some more."

"Play?"

"They ran all kinds of tests and such. They changed me. I am like them now... like Max and Isabel and Michael... I'm not... normal."

"No..." Amy whispered softly but then watched as Maria ran her finger tips along the edge of the coffee table. The wooden table went through a rainbow of colors before finally settling back on it's own natural color. "Oh my god." She whispered.

"I can't... stay with Michael. Can I come home? For a little while?"

"Of course Maria, of course you can." Amy pulled her daughter into her arms and held onto her as tightly as she could. "Of course." Maria relaxed in her mother's arms and sighed.

Tess pulled her hair up into a ponytail and chewed on her lip. She was staying with Kyle, and currently was in the bathroom, just changed into a pair of pajamas. She took a breath and walked back into the living room. Kyle was stretched out on the couch flipping through the channels. "Hi." She smiled a little shyly at him.

"Hey." He grinned. She blushed and sunk down in one of the plush chairs.

It was days before Maria left her mom's house. She'd talked with Jim, and her mom, but for the most part she hid in her room and slept. Her mom kept telling her she needed to get out of the house, to get some fresh air. See her friends again. But Maria couldn't bring herself to see any of them. She'd hurt them all. They would never forgive her. She knew they wouldn't. Because she couldn't.

Maria walked into the Crashdown and Liz was there, flirting with Max. "Liz." Maria said quietly.

"Maria!" Liz shrieked, and stared at her wide eyed, while Max slid out of the booth and stared at her.

"Maria."

"Max... look... I'm..."

"I don't want to hear it." He snapped at her.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Michael said you were dead."

"Disappointed?" Maria asked and pushed some hair behind her ear. "I was shot. Not killed. Saw the explosion? Got out."

"What are you doing here?" Max raised an eyebrow, Maria could see he was ready, just in case she decided to do anything.

"I came to see my friend." She shook her head. "I never should have come back. I knew that no one would ever forgive me." She backed away from them and then headed out the door. "Should have just died." Maria found herself at the quarry a short time later, sitting near the edge, staring down at the lakes below. She was trying to mess with her powers, to do anything. See what all she could do.

Maria heard Michael's bike pull up and sighed. "Leave." She told him at the sound of the gravel crunching under his shoes.

"No."

"I don't want to be around you. Please just... leave."

"No." He sat down beside her. "What are you doing?"

"Practicing."

"What can you do?" She shrugged. "Been staying at your mom's?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Saw Liz and Max today."

"Bet that went well."

"I think they were disappointed I wasn't dead." Maria picked up a rock and flicked it over the ledge.

"That isn't true, you know it."

"Bullshit." Maria scoffed. "There is no forgiveness for me from them. I know that."

"They'll forgive you." He tried to tell her.

"You don't know that."

"I did."

"No you didn't. And I didn't turn you into the FBI."

"Why do you have to argue about every little thing Maria?"

"Yes." She looked up at him. "I'm leaving. I'm not sure where I'm going to go... but I'm leaving."

"Leaving? Why?"

"I can't stay here." Maria told him, and then felt his hand around her arm.

"I won't let you just leave." He pulled her towards him.

"You have to." She whispered.

"No." He kissed her hard and she melted into the kiss for a moment before pulling back.

"Stop doing that! Sex doesn't solve this! It doesn't solve anything!" Maria stood up and started walking away, but Michael grabbed her again.

"Stop trying to run away from me!"

"Stop trying to convince yourself that everything is okay!" Maria screamed at him. Tears started rolling down her face. "It isn't! I messed everything up! I was supposed to die! I'm supposed to be dead! Not here... not... trying to pick up the pieces of my fucked up life!"

"I love you." He pulled her close, holding her against his chest.

"How?! How could you love me? Someone like me?" She cried and collapsed against him. Slowly they slid down to the gravel again.

"There is no one else for me." He whispered against her ear and held her tightly, one hand in her hair, the other rubbing her back. After a while the tears stopped flowing and Maria sat up a little to look at him.

"I don't know what to do, Michael. I don't know... how to just be me again. I don't know if I can. My friends hate me. They want nothing to do with me. And I don't blame them. But I can't..." She looked down at her hands. "Tell me what I am supposed to do, Michael. Please. Help me."

He cupped her face and forced her to look at him. "I don't know Maria. I don't know how we are going to get through this, but we have to. Because, I can't handle loosing you again. I've lost you twice already. I can't go through that again. So whatever it is... whatever is going to happen..." He shrugged. "We'll figure it out."

"Michael, I love you. So much." She buried her face in his chest and sighed quietly.