Chapter two

Are You bReally/b Ready?

Spencer sat quietly in the backseat with her headphones in her ears. She felt the comfort that Muse gave to her every time she had listened to them. She couldn't remember who had turned her on to them; Kyla or Ashley. She had been staying over at Ashley's one night before the whole ordeal. Ashley, Kyla, and her was sprawled across Ashley's bed listening to music and discussing it. That was when she was introduced to the British Alternative band. The music had created a comfortable and secure feeling throughout her body every time she has them playing. This is exactly what she needed to help her prepare for bthis/b day.

She watched different house pass quickly by her as the car sped down the street. They were getting closer and closer to their destination. There was no turning back.

She was going back to the place that had caused her family so much heartache. They place that still had her hooked up to so many machines that she depended on to live. She played with the IV cord that was still connected to her body. The little cord that won't be able to take out until her body was fully capable of working on its on. The thin, short tube called the central line started at the incove of her arm and only came down to her wrist. It was short and easy to hide, but she played with it when she was nervous.

She knew the main reason she didn't want to be back here was because she didn't want to have any flashback of that gruesome night. She would remember all the details of the argument, the gun shots, the feeling of extreme loss. That night, the night that was supposed to be the best night in her life, was the complete opposite. It was a night of disappointment, fear, and complete loss. She knew that it wasn't only for her. She knew that night affected everyone there in some sort of way. That night had created a snowball effect in her life. It started out with Ashley hesitating, then the shooting, then Clay dying and her getting his heart…it just continued to get worse. She hoped that it would all turn around. That maybe, just maybe, a miracle would happen and everything would just go back to normal.

"Spencer…Spencer…Spencer!"

Spencer shook her head clean of her thoughts and took out one of the earpieces. She noticed the car had stopped, and her mother was telling her that they are there. She smiled at the older but still beautiful women. Paula had parked the car in the parking lot next to someone's Escalade. Paula unbuckled her belt and turned so she was facing both girls. She let a soft and gentle smile cross her face. She wanted the girls to be relaxed and ready to take on this demanding day.

"Okay, you both have your cells on you right?" Paula asked both of the girls and receiving nods in reply. "Good, if you need anything at all just give me a call. I will rush over here and pick you up. If it becomes too stressful, you feel sick, or you just want to come home. I will be here, no questions asked. Okay?"

Spencer was amazed at how more loving her mother had become due to this whole situation. Spencer and Chelsea had become her little girl's who she could care for and take care of. Spencer once tried to figure it out why she acted this way a couple weeks ago, but she understood that the reason was probably because Paula needed that maternal since of self. She needed to feel like a good mother again. She wanted to keep her children as close as she could as long as reasonably possible. Loosing one child can have a major effect on a mother. The affect it had on Paula was a since of realization.

"Okay mum we will." Spencer said smiling at the woman.

"Good. Now, Spencer, did you take your meds this morning."

"Yes."

"Did you fix your IV comfortably?"

"Yes."

"Did you grab your pill container for today? I already informed the nurse that it was crucial for you to carry it around for yourself because you didn't need the stress of having to walk to the health office twenty times a day."

"I got the pills."

"Okay, do you have your monitor on?"

"Yup, I got it on. I hooked it up right, I have all the doctors numbers programmed in my cell, I have my V water (vitamin water), I have my lunch…Oh and I have some gum also if you were to ask."

"Spencer, I just want to make sure you have everything."

"I know mum, I got it. Thanks"

Paula looked at Chelsea, "You have everything also?"

"Yes, ma'am, I got everything. I am okay."

Paula smiled at both girls, "Okay, you girls have a good day and stay close to each other. I love you two so much." Her eyes began to water, emotions filling Paula quickly.

"Love you mum."

"Love you Paula"

Spencer and Chelsea hurried out of the car and shut the doors before walking off as quickly as they could. Spencer sort of wished she could drive, but the condition she was in couldn't allow it. Her heart could stop, or she could pass out. It wasn't the best choice if she drove. Chelsea couldn't drive because Paula thought is wouldn't be a good idea for her to drive in the last couple months of her pregnancy. It would have made it easier though.

They took the journey to find the Ceramics class they both shared. Spencer kept looking around the hallways on their way there. Making sure that she wasn't going to be bumping into anyone she wanted to ignore. She turned her attention back to Chelsea who had a blank look on her face.

"What's on your mind?" Spencer asked the young woman.

"I'm trying to figure out the best way to go so that we don't have to walk by that ispot/i anytime soon."

"Yeah, that would be for the best."

"Why are you so twitchy?"

Spencer chuckled, "I'm trying to be conspicuous."

"Oh, you don't want to bump into her do you?"

Spencer shook her head no.

"I get that a little. But at least you look mighty hot today. So, if she does see you she will have a good idea that she is a fucking bitch for loosing you!" Chelsea said complementing Spencer which causes a small smile to appear on Spencer's pouty lips. Spencer unconsciously looks down at what she is wearing. She had picked out a pair of faded low cut, hip hugging jeans. They fit snuggly against her body. She had a white tank on with and a studded belt. She wore her signature Chucks and a Dickies zip up hoodie that helped hide her line. Still, you could see the small, rectangle heart monitor on her hip and the wires up along her shirt.

"Thank you," Spencer said quietly.

They stopped at the door of the class room. The August breeze softly blew on them and they enjoyed it for the millisecond that they could. Casually both girls walked into the classroom and took a seat in the far left group table. They sat there for a couple minutes in silence. The room was slowly filling up with kids. There was less kids that went here then last year. Spencer didn't know if it was because most of them got shot or that most of them was too scared to come to this school. Either way, it left a lot of seats unfilled.

"Oh My God, Spencer!" Kyla said from the door with a huge smile on her face. She quickly walked over to the blond and took a seat in front of her. The young girl still had her eccentric and giddy attitude to her. She smiled at Spencer and let her eyes graze over her.

"Hey Kyla," Chelsea said sitting diagonally across from the girl. She noticed the concerned and caring look the young woman had given to Spencer. The look she had seen the girl give her many times when she was in the hospital. The same look that had went unnoticed by the blond.

"Hey Ky," Spencer said smiling at the girl. She was happy to see her. She had honestly missed the girl. She had missed having someone outside her immediate family.

"How was your summer?" She asked Kyla.

"It was great going back to see my mum and family, but I most defiantly missed L.A. and all my friends here."

"We missed you to."

"How about you?"

"Stuck in bed for the past month trying to heal."

"Aww, well we will hang after school and get you out of the bed…or…umm…How about you Chelsea?" The brunette asked the girl. Spencer looked at Kyla with intensity. She had changed a little bit. Of course her natural eccentric and spazzy nature was the same, but she seemed a little more matured and older. Spencer didn't know if it was the black framed glasses she wore, or if she actually grew up even more.

Spencer's thoughts were pulled away from her when she glanced over at the door.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Ashley casually walked through the door of the classroom. She looked more radiant then Spencer had remembered. The sun casted a glow on her sun kissed skin and made her look even more heavenly. Spencer had always thought as Ashley as the sun. She could simply brighten Spencer's day, but she could also burn it away just as easy. Ashley had worn a light blue mini skirt with a studded belt, a tight fitting rocker tank that showed off her beautiful arms. The older girl had black flip flops on and her hair long and flowing. She held onto a kaki material messenger bag and was straightening her glasses. Both the Davies girls was wearing black framed glasses. Ashley's a little more stylish and fashionable. Spencer couldn't take her eyes of the offending girl.

The look didn't go unnoticed by the older girl who had glanced over in her direction. She knew that Spencer had this class. In fact, she knew that she had five of seven classes with the blond. Last year they had chosen the same schedule together and got back the results congratulating them on being in most of the same classes.

Spencer saw the girl walking toward their table. She advert her eyes down to her hands as she felt her breathing began to fasten. She didn't want to see the girl right now. Even though she knew should would have to see her, didn't mean she wanted to.

"Hello," Ashley said taking a seat.

The table was silent. Spencer kept her eyes down on her hands. Chelsea just stared at Ashley with a cocked eyebrow. Kyla didn't want to pick sides, so she just looked away.

Ashley looked at Spencer who looked so small and tiny. Her heart broke looking at the blonde. Discouragement was filling her body and she didn't know what could make her go back to her confident self. She needed to get this girl back; she needed to let her know she loved her.

"Welcome back, class."

Ashley looked up at the teacher. Her face still held the courage and strength that she wished she had inside. She knew that this would be hard trying to get Spencer back, but she needed her.

Spencer let her eyes wonder to the brunette who had her attention focused on the teacher. Spencer knew that her heart was telling her…but her mind was focused on something else….