A/N: There are minor manga spoilers in this chapter, but nothing that should truly upset anyone. Now that you have been warned, I would like to inform you that this has been the single most difficult chapter to write in this entire story. It is also the longest chapter, but that couldn't be helped, as there were no good stopping points. The length of these last chapters is the main reason this story is ending so soon. There are some time skips in these last chapters as well, but I doubt anyone will be confused. However, please inform me if something is unclear. Enjoy! (I hope.)
One last thing - thanks for the comments, guys! You all really made me feel more confident. Mascarpone was the winner, although there were several votes for Gorgonzola. No one voted for more crackers. A few reviewers even went the extra mile and gave me their own cheese! So, I bought some Brie with kitsunebot in mind and some Gouda with Rhiannonofthemoon in mind to celebrate my perceived success of last chapter! Due to her comment, 45cats doesn't get any cheese. Instead, I bought a bottle of Pinot Noir in her honor. Cheers!
Temporal Sequence
Chapter 24:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The logical connection is established.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The water rippled and thrummed as she drew her knees to her chin. He was gone. And he didn't say goodbye. A blot of red dripped into the stream, winding and uncoiling into a line, thinning pink. She ran her fingers along the backside of her scalp—nothing. There should have been something, she thought. It was morning and it might as well have been night. She was enshrouded by darkness and he made sure to keep her there. She wanted to hate him for it. She didn't know who was hiding anymore, her or him.
"Sesshoumaru, what's your biggest regret?"
"Meeting you."
He wasn't lying. He may not present himself honestly, but he wasn't a liar. He was a coward that liked to save face. He could have at least told her completely, not partly, deceptively, like he had. Her chest hollowed as she took a breath, her eyes finding her shirt again. It was red, deep red, but only along the back. The rest was white, like the whole garment should have been. He never told her what had happened.
She tore her eyes away from the physical embodiment of her confusion and decided to shampoo her hair. She had hit her head, she knew she did. She drug her nails across her scalp as she lathered. Again, there was nothing. It had to be his blood on her shirt then, but there was so much. And it was on her back no less. But she would never know because he was gone. The next time she'd see him, if ever again, would be in the company of others and that meant she'd never know. He'd be too busy protecting his reputation; he wouldn't have to answer to a human girl. He was like Inuyasha, but worse.
She dunked her head and blanked her mind, her movements habitual. No matter how much she knew about him, no matter how much he told her, she had no idea what he thought. She would simply wait for that telltale sign, the roll of muscle over his jaw, and wait for him to say it. But he didn't like to talk, not really. Then again, she didn't know if that was true. All she knew was his past, not the man in the present.
Hotness pricked at her eyes and she told herself not to cry. She cried too much already. She always ran away and she tried to break the cycle, but he pushed her toward the woods, his back turned, prompting her to flee. She cupped her face in her hands, willing herself to be strong. She swallowed and stepped out of the stream to wrap a towel around her body. She saw her shirt again, red with blood. Darkness filled her mind and she kicked it into the stream, watching as the miniscule current carried it slowly away.
Foggily, she heard shouting nearby and she walked toward it, needing a distraction to forget her tears. Silver hair reflected the sunlight and she felt lost within herself. She saw more red and arms encircled her, words spoken. She strained, forcing herself outward.
"Kagome! Kagome, did he hurt you?"
Red, dark red enclosed her—more darkness to tease her into vulnerability, into perpetual ignorance.
"I smell blood, Kagome. I knew it; I just knew I shouldn't have trusted him with you!"
A clank of beads drew her focus and the redness brightened, like a light turning, signaling her to stop.
"Inuyasha?"
"It was all fine when I was hanging around to protect you, but then I listen to you and go off to find that stupid toad! I just wanted to make things better, to be the peacemaker for once. And what do I get? Your tears, that's what!" Yes, Inuyasha was here. She never told him to leave, but there was no point in saying words that held no purpose.
"Inuyasha," she said breathlessly, gripping the arms around her. He was warm and comforting, always comforting, like home. "I'm fine."
"You…are?"
She closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest, wanting to feel that radiant warmth. His brother was scalding, but not warm.
"You lying, despicable half-breed! You said my Lord and Master was here, but he is nowhere in sight!"
"Hey!" he yelled at the imp that Kagome couldn't see. "I ain't no liar and he was here! I've done my part. You go find that no good bastard on your own!" She hiccuped and his arms instinctively tightening around her.
"Liar! The Great Sesshoumaru-sama would never consort with the likes of her! She's a nothing but a filthy human!" Inuyasha made move to go after the imp, but she stopped him, pressing further into him.
"Meeting you."
"Just leave him be." She wanted to be held, to know that she was needed. She didn't know if Sesshoumaru really meant that, but she knew for a fact that Inuyasha didn't regret meeting her. And that was enough, for now.
"Kagome, what happened?" She wouldn't tell him, she couldn't. He'd hate her, though he wouldn't break. Inuyasha would never break; he was too strong. "Kagome?" His voice was quiet, like he would shatter her if not careful. For once she wanted him to throw caution to the wind, like nothing was truly breakable. She wanted to feel his passion, but he reserved it for the battlefield alone. But Sesshoumaru, his brother, infused it into looks and words and touches. Her scalp burned and her pulse sped as she remembered one such display. And he did kiss her there, eventually. She dug her nails into Inuyasha's sleeves.
She realized then that she was clothed in only a towel. Inuyasha was too concerned to notice, but in a moment he would. Inuyasha would remove himself, blush and look away, telling her to get dressed. She wondered what Sesshoumaru would do. He would look at her, intensely; perhaps make a comment. She didn't know if he'd push her away or move closer, but he wouldn't look away. No, he most definitely would not look away.
Inuyasha may not heat her blood with a single look, he may not make her mouth run dry with a single utterance, and he may never make her reevaluate the world with a single philosophy, but Inuyasha was strong and stable, like a rock. He was the protector, defending the home, her foundation. She hugged him tighter, knowing home was a dichotomy in her life, but she was willing to believe otherwise. For today at least.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha shoved her away and turned around. She was expecting it, so she wasn't disappointed. Maybe that's why Sesshoumaru tried so hard not to feel, though it was obvious he did. If he could subdue his emotions, then disappointment would rarely befall him. It was smart and stupid all the same. He evaded falling, but he'd avoid rising. She had thought he'd rise, but he fell and he took her down with him. She wanted to hate him so badly.
Sesshoumaru was a thing of the past. If only she could let him die there.
x x x
As he walked the familiar path he repeated the same question in his head like a mantra. How did he get here? A week ago, he awoke at twilight in an unfamiliar place, in an unfamiliar predicament. That girl, Inuyasha's miko, was lying next to him, asleep. And Inuyasha was nowhere in sight. He wracked his brain for an answer as to how he could've fallen so low, but all he could find was the beginning.
xxx
Frustrated with the idle turn of events regarding Naraku, Sesshoumaru sought advice from Bokusenou. Being ancient and wise, he out of all beings would know how to eradicate that blasted jewel that was wreaking havoc upon the land while in the hands of Naraku. The Shikon no Tama enabled Naraku's constant trickery and concealment, making him sick of the damned hanyou and that damned jewel. Both needed to be destroyed; it was his most urgent priority.
Jaken and Rin waited on the outskirts of the forest as he made his way to Bokusenou's place of rest. The tree youkai would most likely frighten Rin and Jaken was being most annoying today, and so he left them behind without hesitation or worry. The old tree greeted him before he was even in sight.
"Ah, Sesshoumaru-sama," Bokusenou said in a thunderous voice. "It has been quite some time since we last spoke. What brings you here this day?"
He responded once he was facing the reliable informant. "Tell me how to destroy the hanyou, Naraku, and the artifact he possesses, the Shikon no Tama."
"A hanyou has eluded your claws?" The earth vibrated as the tree spoke, like an earthquake shifting the land.
"The jewel allows him to escape and regenerate, even under the direst of circumstances. Therefore, it is most difficult to kill him."
"I see," Bokusenou replied thoughtfully, taking a moment to ponder the information. "The solution is not within your reach."
This was an unwelcome surprise. "How can that be? There is no being in this land more powerful than I."
"You speak the truth, but there is only one who can destroy the hanyou and his jewel. Her power is far different from yours."
"Who is she and where can I find her?"
"She is a priestess not of this world. There is no need to pursue her, for she already seeks the destruction of the Shikon no Tama and its bearer." Bokusenou was speaking of the undead miko; the one that had once denied him his right.
"Her intentions seem impure."
"They are not."
"Then why has she not defeated him yet?"
"Go to the forest of your brother's namesake. There is a clearing in the middle of the wood near the great tree on which he slept. There, you will find that which you seek."
"Should I even bother?" he asked skeptically, dissatisfied with Bokusenou's answers. "You said the solution was not within my reach. It seems illogical to seek her when you have already told me there is no need."
"The solution is not yours to reach, but you will ensure that its path is clear. 'Tis why Fate has guided you here this day."
There was nothing Sesshoumaru hated more than 'Fate'. Perhaps that was why he had yet to kill his brother. He wouldn't be able to take credit for it.
Now thoroughly annoyed, Sesshoumaru turned and left without another word spoken. Wanting to get the demolition of sacred jewels and irritating hanyou well underway, and not knowing what else to do, he took Bokusenou's advice and sent Rin and Jaken to his father's keep on the back of Ah-Un. With all distractions removed, he set off to Inuyasha's Forest with a clear head, all the while trying to piece together the puzzle lain before him.
The following day, he found himself on the border of the aforementioned clearing. He would have stepped into the clearing for further investigation had his brother not been standing at the lip of the well at its center. The wind was strong that day and billowing into his face, telling him he was downwind of Inuyasha and thus his position remained secret.
He heard the reminiscent hum of ancient magic and remembered walking by that harmless old well the time he visited his brother while spellbound to a tree. He couldn't help but wonder if that well had something to do with Bokusenou's premonition. The wood was primeval and saturated with magic, making him believe it was carved from the base of a timeless tree, like Bokusenou and the one on which Inuyasha slept.
His thoughts were dispelled upon hearing a muffled whisper. "Stupid girl and her stupid studies."
Inuyasha then proceeded to kick up a patch of earth, unintentionally thrusting it into the depths of the dry well. His brother peeked over the well's lip, making Sesshoumaru all the more inquisitive. Then, Inuyasha leapt into the well. The eccentricity of the action startled him at first, but he waited patiently for the boy's curses. He heard nothing. He waited again, this time for Inuyasha to reappear into the sunlight. Nothing happened. Finally, his mounting curiosity compelled him to go to the well and peer down into it. He wondered if Inuyasha caught a whiff of him and was trying to gain a point of leverage in order to wage a more advantageous attack. The idea was ridiculous, not because it was a weak battle tactic, but rather Inuyasha would never behave as such. Trickery wasn't one of Inuyasha's traits, even if it was beneficial under a particular set of circumstances. The boy would simply draw his sword and holler inane threats.
However, his wayward thoughts soon abandoned him. There was no hanyou at the bottom of the well. His senses tingled then and the tip of a shadow appeared in his peripheral vision. He turned as two youkai emerged from the darkness of the forest.
"Inuyasha, I presume?" the smaller of the two yelled across the distance. He had no idea what kind of youkai they were, nor did he care. He did take note, however, of the abundance of weaponry they carried.
"No," the larger one said, "he is full-blooded."
It was obvious they were assassins and their confidence implied that they were rather good at their trade. To him, they were nothing. The smaller one confirmed his suspicion.
"Where is the hanyou? I smell him here. We're here for his head and we don't wish to keep our master waiting."
"Who is your master?" he asked authoritatively, leaving no room for dissent.
The youkai paused and looked at each other. The small one spoke again. "That's none of your damn business. We're here for the half-breed, not you."
"That is the crux of the problem. His death is mine to sentence. No other shall have the privilege."
"It can't be helped then," the small, cat-like one said, pulling a sword from its scabbard. He followed suit, unsheathing Toukijin.
The battle began abruptly and soon they found themselves under the dark cover of the woods. His opponents were fast, especially the smaller of the two, his speed nearly matching Sesshoumaru's. They were also smart, both attacking him simultaneously. Many times pairs of youkai would attack separately, each wanting the right to claim victory for himself.
Metal collided and the battle continued like this for quite some time. Finally, Sesshoumaru surprised them by dropping his sword when they were within striking range. He released his youki whip, lacerating the smaller youkai's shoulder, and rounded on the large one within a moment's time, sinking his claws into the youkai's chest and expelling his poison. He allowed the youkai to claw him as he did this. It was a small price to pay to ensure a timelier demise. He leapt away as the smaller one came up behind him.
"Bastard," the small one said venomously, looking up at him with steely eyes. Sesshoumaru jumped down from the low hanging branch and approached them leisurely. They weren't half-bad opponents and he was feeling particularly unpleasant today. He might as well have some fun.
"Use it," the other one said, panting, sweat beading at his brow.
"But we're to test it on the hanyou."
"Use it." The large one then collapsed.
It seemed as though he'd have to end his entertainment. How disappointing. He charged the one left standing, intending to kill him before he had a chance to utilize this experimental weapon. Immediately, a familiar looking pod was tossed into the air, instantly producing insects of which Sesshoumaru was well acquainted. It would seem their master was in fact Naraku, making him thirst for their blood all the more. He smirked, knowing the poison was useless against him. He overlooked the fact that such poison was too weak to fatally injure Inuyasha, the half-breed son of a poison wielder.
He slashed the first few he came across, continuing to run toward his goal, not yet realizing that the insects were moving out of his way. The smaller youkai simply held his ground, crouching slightly so that he could jump away if need be. Then, he felt it. It was like thousands of fires had sparked aflame on his back. The sweet smelling smoke filtered through his senses, the recognition of purity making his head run in circles. He didn't understand how youkai insects could be armed with such a weapon. He gasped for air and looked to the ground, seeing the saimyoushou disintegrating like ash in the wind, leaving behind a tiny parchment covered neatly in kanji. The paper faded away before he could inspect it. It felt like a Naraku ploy, but Naraku wasn't resistant to purity. Naraku was quite resourceful, this he knew, but somehow or another he had forgotten. One of Naraku's incarnates was born within barrier of Mount Hakurei, making this little scheme quite feasible with a bit of research. Hanyou were undoubtedly the bane of his existence.
A piercing sensation rocketed through his thigh and he noticed the small youkai raising his sword once more. He propelled himself backward as the blade sliced across his face. The wound afflicting his face was shallow, but the one on his leg was deep. Luckily, he was amazingly immune to purity, but this was a high dosage and such large quantities would slow him down considerably, like it had at the base of Mount Hakurei. It would take time for his body to dilute it, but it wouldn't kill him.
He dodged attack after attack, now wishing he still had Toukijin in his grasp, but instead he settled for Tensaiga. He unsheathed it and used it as a blockade. His opponent was faster now and to make matters worse, it seemed his speed had at least doubled from before. The high level of purity in his blood was affecting his vision and he swore he was seeing double. Claws dug into him, everywhere. A sword ripped through his leg again while another slashed across his chest and a foot connected hard with his stomach, causing him to stumble.
From above, his nemesis dropped down, sword poised. He leapt back, but he was too slow as the blade managed to plunge into his other leg, stalling his movement. The youkai pulled on his firmly staked sword so that he could move away, but it wouldn't budge. Sesshoumaru was bleeding excessively. His body couldn't keep up, not when it was trying to heal such a multitude of injuries while diminishing the purity's effects. If this battle continued much longer, he could potentially die from blood loss. And that was unacceptable.
With a renewed resolve, he stood hastily, forcing the pinned steel outward, further tearing his flesh and momentarily stunning his opponent. A moment was all he needed. He staked Tensaiga in the ground and slashed the youkai across the throat before he could retreat. That was when he noticed the youkai's shoulder was uninjured. There were two of them and they looked identical. His senses drew him to the left and he pulled the sword from his leg and thrust it outward. Pain barreled through his torso as he heard flesh ripping apart. The sword in his hand pierced the other youkai's belly while a sword simultaneously impaled his ribcage. Feeling suddenly tired; he summoned the last bit of his strength and pushed his sword upward, lazily splitting the youkai's midsection. The youkai went limp, falling further onto the blade in Sesshoumaru's hand, his body sliding down its shaft in a gruesome manner. The dead weight caused the metal in his ribs to push further inward. He slid himself backward, slowly removing the weapon from his body. He stood, haggardly, immediately hearing the faint thrum of a heartbeat.
He couldn't help but admire their resourcefulness. One twin remained hidden until he was absolutely needed. Had those insects not been released, he would've still had to fight two at a time. It would seem that they in fact had two secret weapons. Pitilessly, he sunk his claws into the other twin's injured neck and ripped out his throat. The remains scattered, like dirt in water.
They were smart and strong, but the three of them still couldn't take him down. Not even with the power of purity to weaken him. He wanted to laugh, but couldn't muster the energy. He started walking away, sloppily, in a dream-like state. There was blood everywhere and his clothes were torn, like his body. He paused and swaggered, amazed that he allowed himself to be injured so severely. It was because of those modified saimyoushou that he endured such damage. Ironic, really, since he was the one to first release them upon the land. Deliriously, a laugh managed to escape him this time and he collapsed onto the blood-sodden ground, blackness slowly creeping into his eyes.
It would seem he was indeed becoming more like his father as he was more frequently underestimating his enemies. His father acted as though he was invincible and it killed him. Like his father, Sesshoumaru knew none were stronger than he, but deceitful ploys and catered tactics could always serve to minimize the power gap. He needed to be more careful. Perhaps he should have let Inuyasha deal with them. On second thought, those modified insects would've been enough to kill a hanyou and Inuyasha was his to kill. As the Inu no Taishou, he assumed his predecessor's debts, no matter how delinquent they had become.
He may be tolerant of purity, but he obviously wasn't immune. He could feel its effects and he imagined that this was what it felt like to be poisoned. He sputtered blood and realized that he couldn't intake enough air as the blackness deepened. His head pounded from the strain and he wondered, briefly, if his body could repair itself. He assumed it would, but at what cost?
xxx
It was perplexing and that blackness was the last he'd remember; like a void it sucked his defenses into oblivion. He was here now, alive, standing before an aged building, sturdy, like his memory. He circumvented his brother's bout with danger and as a result he awoke next to a human girl.
He took a deep breath as he entered the drab building; it was as dark and drafty as he remembered. He headed to his rooms, no more soldiers or servants to cross his path. For a moment, he wondered what his father would think of his legacy now that it didn't exist anymore. Honestly, he shouldn't care what that man would think. Land and titles shouldn't matter anyway, seeing as how they were poor indicators of true power. Sometimes, he felt as though he was taking for granted the fact that the world could change one day.
The moment he stepped into his corridor Jaken appeared. Smiling, the squatty imp ran up to him and bowed, tears brimming. Jaken had always been ridiculously dramatic, but fiercely loyal.
"Sesshoumaru-sama! I was so worried! You were gone for an eternity!" the imp gushed as tears fell. The display was rather sickening. "That stupid, lying Inuyasha came here and said you had been gravely injured. So injured that you couldn't recall your own name! I went with him to retrieve you, but you were nowhere in sight! Nothing has ever happened like this before and I was so worried, milord!"
Something like this had happened before. He lost an arm because he underestimated an opponent, but he had never lost his name, not really. It would never abandon him, no matter how many years swept past.
He ignored Jaken and stepped over him, going straight for his room. It would still be there, just as he left it. He didn't know what he felt like doing, but he didn't want to be bothered by groveling servants.
"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Jaken asked as he followed.
"I wish to be left alone," Sesshoumaru ordered as he slammed the screen shut in the imp's face. He pressed his fingers to his forehead as he made his way to the window. He pulled the shutter open, the light nearly blinding. He didn't even have time to adjust to the sunlight as arguing erupted outside his door.
"I'm sorry, milord, but Sesshoumaru-sama does not wish to be disturbed!"
"I will bother him if I so please!" Deep and clear, that voice brought back memories, like looking into the bluest of waters and seeing past the reflection, to the bottom.
The screen opened abruptly and Jaken scrambled underneath the larger youkai's legs in an attempt to apologize for the disruption. He was stepped on as the towering demon walked on ahead.
"They have been here for an entire moon cycle and a half! How dare you send a human girl and that annoying imp to me without retrieving them with haste!" Sunlight slipped over green eyes, making them look pale and deathly. This anger didn't frighten him, not anymore.
"It's been a while, hasn't it, Kazuma?"
Kazuma straightened his posture while maintaining strict eye contact. "It's been half a decade—just like your father, but at least you have the decency to send correspondence."
"Any leads?"
"I've exhausted them all and none have been fruitful. However, there is a rumor of a witch in the north who dabbles in the art of regeneration. It appears to be nothing more than feeble gossip, but I'll look into it nonetheless." Sesshoumaru nodded, his eyes looking out into the sunlight again.
"I finally met Inuyasha," Kazuma said off-handily.
"And?" He could make out a tree now, in the distance, clarity finally finding him.
"He is nothing more than an unkempt version of his father."
Sesshoumaru nodded. Sometimes, he believed that was why he hated Inuyasha with such passion.
"He wanted to know if I had any relation to him. For a moment, he was displeased."
"For a moment?"
"He called me an asshole and said it was no wonder I was related to you. It seems he is more disagreeable than his father." A smile tugged at the corner of Sesshoumaru's lips. He indulged himself, half-heartily.
"What happened to you?"
His smirk faded. "At Mount Hakurei, Naraku created another incarnate, named Hakudoushi. Due to the circumstances of his birth, he has an even higher tolerance to purity than I. Naraku most likely used Hakudoushi to modify the saimyoushou to excrete purity, which resulted in massive injuries to my person. I see no other explanation, although neither viper was present. Naraku had to be the instigator. Hakudoushi doesn't mind dirtying his own hands. If Naraku wasn't involved, then it would seem Hakudoushi is starting to act independently and subversively. I doubt Naraku will tolerate that for long."
"I've grown tired of hearing the name Naraku. You need only ask for my aid and I will gladly help you destroy him." It was a tempting offer, but he had no desire to steal away someone's father.
"That is unnecessary. Only one can destroy him and the Shikon no Tama."
"Very well, but I must inquire as to why you're still pursuing him if you believe you cannot destroy him?"
"I must clear the path."
He met Kazuma's eyes then and the elder demon had questions lingering there, but didn't ask. Suddenly, footsteps were heard running through the hall and Rin appeared in the doorway, only lingering there for a moment.
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she sang merrily, running up to him and stopping at his feet. She always maintained her distance, and for that he was grateful. "Look!" she exclaimed, holding up a piece of parchment. "Ichi-nii-san taught me how to write my name! He taught me Sesshoumaru-sama's too!" She grinned widely as he inspected her work. Her penmanship was terrible, but that was to be expected. He hated illiteracy and was beginning to think he should leave her here so that her education didn't fall to the wayside. He wondered what Kazuma would think of that. His lip twitched, wanting to smirk like a fiend.
"I apologize, father," the dark-headed youth said as he bowed respectfully. "I tried to stop her, but she was incessant. I feared injuring her, so I let her come."
Kazuma nodded and the boy stood upright. "Take her now. Sesshoumaru and I still have things to discuss."
Rin looked up at Sesshoumaru with a slight pout, but he knew she wouldn't protest. She was just waiting for him to verify it before she complied. It was funny that she named his creature Ah-Un. They could share that name, seeing as how they were no different.
"Rin, go." She smiled and turned, grabbing his cousin's wrist and dragging him out the door with her.
"In your letters, you never spoke of her. Had she not been with the toad and the dragon and covered with your scent, I would not have believed it to be true. What possessed you to keep company with a human girl?"
"I revived her with Tensaiga. Therefore, she is mine to protect. My generosity will not go to waste."
"Be that as it may, you have yet to answer my question."
Sesshoumaru turned his attention back to the world outside his dirty windowsill. Kazuma let the dust settle, for now.
"I take it you will not send her to a human village then?"
"Only if she so wishes."
"Perhaps that is unfair to her. It's strange, but she adores you despite your negligent attitude. She will not ask to leave. Do you think it's appropriate to raise her among youkai?"
"I do not know. She has never once feared me, yet she fears her own kind."
"If she is to stay here, then I require that she become learned. Understood?"
"Perfectly."
"Fine. I will make arrangements for her to stay. However," Kazuma began pointedly, "I refuse to be the caretaker for a human girl. She is to travel with you until your quest is complete. Then, she may return here with you." That was easier than he expected. Perhaps Kazuma missed him? Sesshoumaru ignored the thought and looked to his uncle, curtly nodding his consent. Kazuma turned sharply, intent on leaving.
"Kazuma." His uncle paused, not turning to look at him. "For a moment, I had forgotten you."
"Oh? And how was that?"
"Empty." His uncle turned to look at him then, surprise evident on his face. It was comforting to see the bottom of the abyss, as brief as it was.
"I see you've finally done some thinking. May I ask what brought this about?"
"I was forced to learn who I am today by looking at the past. It has shaped me, but I realize now that it's virtually unimportant. The present is most important. Only then can the past be redefined."
"That is true, but not completely. The past will always be there, even if your present life breaks the cycle of your past life. Do you know why the present is truly more important?"
He quirked an eyebrow as he waited, feeling a tad uncomfortable. Kazuma was always right after all. "Why?"
"Because the present makes way for the future."
Kazuma walked away then, leaving Sesshoumaru to ponder those words as he looked out into the dying afternoon. He awaited the clean beauty of sunset that made way for the stars, knowing it'd take forever to arrive, but he could wait.
He could wait.
x x x
She shoved the cash in her wallet and waved goodbye to the store's clerk as she walked out into the blinding sunlight. Black spots turned green, her sight adjusting, as she made her way to her aging car. She was relieved that all of her books sold, although one was still mysteriously missing. But she made some money! Her euphoria faded upon remembering just how much she originally spent on those books. College was expensive and this wasn't even a fully accredited four-year institution! She shuddered at the prospect of those expenses, but immediately realized that expensive universities were most likely something she'd never have to worry about.
She was in her last semester of community college and she wasn't doing so hot. Last semester, her grade point average took a pitfall, countering all of her previous hard work. Things had gotten crazy in the Feudal Era causing her to steadily miss more and more class. One class she was flunking due to a strict attendance policy, but since she had missed the entire second week of class, the professor allowed her to simply drop the course. There shouldn't be an attendance policy when she was paying for the damn class! The other classes didn't have attendance policies, but she was still riding that abominable fence between passing and failing. Her mother was not happy.
She sighed as she started the engine, wondering how she was going to manage. Chaos had begotten her life and there was no foreseeable path back to peace of mind. Her quest in the past had taken a drastic turn for the worse and the end still lay far in the distance. On a positive note, Naraku's minions were dropping like flies, but that didn't make her feel any better. Watching Kanna die was horrific even though she knew there was no other alternative. Now, Byakuya was the only one remaining.
With all the death surrounding Naraku's posse, her little group of friends faced distress. Kohaku was a part of that detestable group and months had passed where they hadn't heard word of him. Finally, they learned he was traveling with Kikyou, but that knowledge didn't alleviate their stress. Sango feared that the undead priestess would one day just decide to rip the shard from her brother's back. It took a lot of coaxing to calm her worries. Thinking of Kohaku, an image came to mind that she wished would disappear into oblivion. Sesshoumaru had just left that day and she had seen him a few times since. It was like their time together had never been.
She saw Toukijin break and she wanted to cry. She realized then that she was truly an idiot. No wonder she couldn't make good grades a habit.
The first time she laid eyes upon him since their little ordeal, he acted like he always did—as though Inuyasha was a nuisance and she didn't even exist. The next time, he swooped down at a rather convenient time and defeated the troublesome water god as though slaying a powerful being was as easy as taking a breath. He carried one sword now, Tensaiga, and it was all he needed. She wondered how he managed to master it.
Then he left, not even sparing her a glance. That was how it was now, or rather, that was how it had always been.
The most memorable of their meetings since that time was when they crossed paths and Sango finally found a sliver of peace. Again, Sesshoumaru unintentionally did something good for someone. She wondered what he'd say to that sentiment, but she already knew. He had said it to Sango.
xxx
They were just traveling along, to where she didn't know and ultimately she didn't care. She was missing a lot of school and her mind was clouded. It seemed she was once again setting herself up for failure. Kouga said goodbye, Kikyou died and Kohaku was becoming increasingly difficult to track. A dreary spell had come upon them and the overcast was indefinitely gloomy. She was having trouble dealing with it all, but at least her occupied mind didn't have room for Sesshoumaru anymore. She hated thinking about him. At first, she was devastated because she thought what he had said was true—that he regretted meeting her. She figured he was appalled by her, by himself, and that's why he left without a word.
"Usually their recovery period is forgotten."
That time she saw him, as he slew the water god, she recalled her professor's words and became convinced that he couldn't remember his time of recuperation. Believing he didn't remember her was easier to swallow since everything else in her life was falling apart.
"Kagome looks quite stunning today, wouldn't you say, Inuyasha?"
She blushed and looked at the ground. Ever since her innocent fling with Sesshoumaru, if it could be so labeled, Miroku made it his mission to get her some genuine male attention. Sesshoumaru didn't come through and so the monk was back to working on Inuyasha. It was embarrassing and way too pushy, but at least his lewd comments served as a distraction and made the group laugh at times or toss around some friendly banter. Miroku really was an amazing guy, despite his times of impure intentions.
"Huh?" Inuyasha replied, obviously not paying attention. He still hadn't regained his bearings since Kikyou's death, but that was understandable. She wondered if he, too, was falling apart inside.
"I think those clothes hug her curves in all the right ways." Her eyes shot up and her cheeks flamed. He didn't have to go so far! He looked at her then, from over his shoulder, and winked. Sango tensed, ready to physically reprimand the monk when Inuyasha suddenly stopped, gripping the hilt of his sword.
Miroku became rigid and scanned the immediate area, seriousness filling his tone. "What's wrong, Inuyasha?"
"Sesshoumaru."
Her heart thudded violently and she held her breath, trying to calm herself—she didn't want Inuyasha to notice. Her eyes were drawn to white as he crested the hill, a large two-headed beast behind him and a tiny imp at his feet. It would seem that they were just passing through. Coincidence, really.
Realizing this, Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his nose in the air, neither brother offering words to the other. It was always a terrible sight to see them around each other, but at least they weren't fighting anymore. Well, not really.
That little girl was sprawled across the dragon's back and she noticed a figure walking behind the beast's hind legs. Sango was the first to recognize him.
"Kohaku!" Sango immediately lunged for her brother, startling him. Kohaku turned to run away, but it only took the utterance of one word to halt him.
"Kohaku," Sesshoumaru said plainly, sternly. The boy paused, placing his hand on the dragon's side as if it would keep him there.
A teary-eyed Sango moved forward and Sesshoumaru slipped in front of her. She stopped herself before running into him. Kagome noted the stiffness of his shoulders and the hard line of a clenched jaw. He always had trouble relaxing, although he appeared so calm.
"What are you doing? He's my brother!"
Sesshoumaru stared her down and spoke dispassionately. The man under the stars who liked to read was gone, a dry replica in his place. She tried to look away, but couldn't.
"He is not yet ready to face you." She wanted to yell at him for being an insincere jerk. Now, under these circumstances, he'd probably kill her for it.
"You—you're protecting him?" Quiet confusion reigned and Miroku stepped forward to speak his mind. Kagome watched as Sesshoumaru's jaw rolled; she placed a silencing hand on the monk's shoulder.
"You misconstrue. He carries the last shard of the Shikon no Tama. Under my supervision, Naraku will not possess it." His eyes flickered to her for a brief moment; she wanted to cry all over again.
"You are lax in your duty."
With that, Sesshoumaru and his posse walked away. Sango was devastated, but Kagome tried her best to soothe her. After all, Sesshoumaru was more than capable of protecting Kohaku and he had nothing to gain from killing the boy. Sango finally recovered when she reminded her about the little girl named Rin. Two human children now accompanied him and he was now able to use Tensaiga as a weapon at his command. Sesshoumaru was changing—had been changing—and all because of a little girl with sloppy hair and a gap-toothed smile. She hoped to thank her one day, wondering what it'd be like to have such an impact on someone's life. She supposed she already knew. Even Sesshoumaru had said she changed Inuyasha.
Briefly, she wondered if Sango's acceptance of the arrangement was due to the fact that she stayed by Sesshoumaru's side as he recovered. She would never ask, too afraid to resurrect such a touchy subject and too cowardly to remind her friends of her deceit. Her excuse had been simple—he was an ally, albeit a reluctant one. Inuyasha knew there was more to it and Miroku knew it all, but Sango never pushed her for more of an explanation. And for that, she was grateful.
She was pulled from her thoughts as Sango stood, tall and proud. Sango had watched as her brother killed her family, she saw the aftermath of her village's massacre and she knew her brother wouldn't walk away from this—yet she stood proud. Like Inuyasha, the world could be caving in, yet Sango wouldn't fall into the crevasse. Kagome was almost envious, but she couldn't help but wonder what would happen when it was time to put the jewel back together.
That's when everything would really fall apart.
"I must accept the inevitable changes that will occur around me."
She could handle it; she had to handle it. She was already aware that the world as she knew it would never be the same once her quest was complete. She was going to go home when it was all over. It was the right decision; the best choice for her life. But that knowledge didn't make her feel any more secure or sure of herself.
"I must adapt."
She just needed to learn to be more at ease with her decisions.
xxx
She thought about Sesshoumaru more than she liked to admit. Every time she sat before the fire and rested quietly with her friends, she imagined he was there, sitting across the subdued flames, a book propped open in his lap. When dusk finished mediating between night and day, the stars would capture her eyes, making her envision a rolling jaw and smooth words. When the rain fell and her bath water ran, she thought about his broad shoulders and haunting eyes. She remembered that drop of water sliding down his collarbone and she realized then that she missed Sesshoumaru's brand of calculated sarcasm and refined bluntness. Suddenly, she yearned to see his graceful gait and beautiful face.
A honk and squealing tires awoke her with a startling chill. A silver truck then maneuvered around her little sedan, the words Almohad Foundation printed in bold pink letters on the side of the vehicle. She breathed deeply as the truck started to pass her and she mouthed the word 'sorry' as it flanked her car. Green eyes ensnared hers for the briefest of moments. She didn't even get a good look at the man, but the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, making her feel wanton and suddenly lonely.
She parked her car on the street and brushed it off, attributing her nostalgia and near collision to dead-end thoughts of Sesshoumaru. She grabbed her bags and locked the door, readying herself to make the exhausting climb up the shrine's steps. The shrine grounds looked like a war zone with all the construction that was currently underway. They'd been at it for a few months now and it'd probably continue for a few more months to come.
She followed the wooden planks that led to her house, waving at the workmen as she passed. She saw her mother exiting the front door with a large tray in her hands
"Mama, I'm back!"
"Oh, Kagome! Did all your books sell?"
Kagome giggled sardonically. She had been spending so much time in the Feudal Era that she kept forgetting to sell her books. The going rate really plummeted since she waited so long. "All but one. Have you found my economics book yet?"
"I've looked all over for it, but I can't find it. Either it's hiding from us or someone's stolen it in the middle of the night!" her mother said with a short laugh. "Maybe you left it at school?"
"It had my information in it, so I'd imagine that it would've been returned by now. I guess I need to just chalk it up as a loss."
Her mother laughed again. "Did you happen to see him?"
"Who?"
"Mr. Takahashi just left and so I thought you might have seen him on your way out." Her mother was quite peeved when she failed to report home the day he returned with the building plans. It didn't matter anyhow. She was too busy flunking college and chasing feudal demons to worry about modern men.
"Um, no, I didn't." Now that she thought about it, Mr. Takahashi had to be that green-eyed man, also known in the Higurashi household as thedemigod! Well, she got a tiny glimpse of his eyes, but she decided to forgo that part since it only happened because she almost hit his truck. She didn't want to confess to her mother that an ancient taiyoukai was slowly turning her daughter into a ditz.
"Oh, too bad."
"Let me get that."
"Thank you, sweetheart, but I'll get this one. You can help me with the rest, but first you need to go greet your visitor."
"Visitor?" That was an uncommon word. Usually, that word referred to Inuyasha. She was quite putout when her mother told her that he had been stopping by while she was at school, despite their agreement. She was too smitten with the idea that he missed her to be angry with him.
"Ayumi is in your room! She's on a break from school and wanted to see you. Poor girl is nearly killing herself with work. You have to be perfect to get into medical school after all!"
"Really?" She was supposed to go back to the Feudal Era today, but she was really excited by the prospect of seeing her old high school pal. She'd have to go back after dark anyway because of all the construction workers.
"Take a few minutes to say hello, then come back down and help me with these trays. The men have been working so hard that I decided to make them some refreshments. Don't worry, I'll save some for you girls." Her mother winked and walked away.
"Thanks, mom!" she yelled after her, anticipation crawling under her skin. She ran up the stairs in a hurry, only to find Ayumi reading a recently printed document. She swallowed, hard.
"Kagome!" Ayumi exclaimed. Her old friend embraced her fiercely while still holding onto those papers. "It feels like we haven't seen each other in forever!" Ayumi seemed more confident than she remembered, but she supposed that was normal for a successful college student.
"Yeah, I know! I'm so happy to see you!" she gushed, her eyes finding that damnable essay again.
"Oh! You are not going to believe who I ran into!"
"Who?" She was too preoccupied with waving sheets of white to play the guessing game.
"Let me start from the beginning. You already know I'm attending Kyoto University and I study medicine. Well, I want to be a doctor and like all good medical students-to-be, I got an internship. Lucky me got a position at White Stone Memorial, which is like the research hospital in all of Japan. Who did you used to know that had a doctor for a dad?"
"I don't know, who?" She hated guessing; she'd rather just be told. She was too distracted anyway, seeing as how her very personal essay was in Ayumi's hands, obviously already having been read. Maybe Ayumi didn't read the whole thing. Maybe she didn't get past the first paragraph! She didn't mean to write about him; it just came out like that.
"I am working under Nakashima Daisuke—Tsume's dad!"
"Really?" It was a bit shocking, but she hadn't heard a word from Tsume in almost seven years. Honestly, she could care less, despite how she used to feel about him.
"Yeah! He's playing semi-pro baseball and he asked about you."
"Oh?"
"What do you mean 'oh'? Tsume is a real heartthrob now! I have his number. I think you should call him."
"He's in Kyoto and I'm in Tokyo. He never forwarded his address and he never made contact with me. You can keep his number."
"Wow. You had a big thing for him once. I thought it was real too. But I guess hearts move on, huh?" She smiled and shook the papers in her hand, making Kagome cringe.
"W-what do you mean?"
"I didn't know you were going for the Aiko Scholarship. When I was deciding between schools, I applied for this scholarship. I didn't get it, so I went to Kyoto since they offered me one." Kagome paled, knowing that if the ever-brilliant Ayumi didn't get it, then she definitely didn't have a chance.
Ayumi noticed her fallen face. "You should still go for it since it's for female psychology majors. I mean, scholarships are all about who you know and I'm sure you can get some good recommendations from your professors. I was just a high school student when I applied and it worked out okay since I'm not even a psychology major anymore. This scholarship favors community college students and those in need—both of which you are and I was not."
Kagome's expression still refused to perk up. As it was, she might not finish community college. "Plus, I heard that the essay is the most important criterion on which this scholarship is based. And Kagome, your essay is amazing! Please don't be mad at me for reading it! I was bored and it was just there." Ayumi was rambling, but Kagome lightened up a bit.
"You think it's good?"
"Kagome, I said amazing. You evaluated the process by which a man regained his memories and reflected upon his past so that he could come to terms with himself. Tokyo U has a lot of money invested in their psychology program, especially the parts that cover the human memory and personality, both of which you exemplified beautifully!"
"My essay is amazing?" she repeated, feeling suddenly giddy.
"Oh, Kagome, it's so personal too! They're going to eat it up! You even wrote it so artistically."
"Artistically?"
"You used the spectrum of white light and broke it down into its covert colors in order to demonstrate the multi-faceted nature of the human personality, while simultaneously demonstrating the skews of individual perception, namely the memory. I feel like I know this man and I've never even met him! For real, Kagome, it sounds like you're in love with him."
The air suddenly became incompatible with her lungs.
"Kagome!" her mother called from downstairs. Thank the gods for small favors, she thought.
"I need to help my mom real quick."
"I'll help too!"
Kagome ignored her stomach, which was currently testing its acrobatic skills, and found her mother in the kitchen, a tray of drinks promptly shoved into her hands.
"Thank you, girls! I'm starting to get too old for heavy lifting!"
"Don't be silly, Ms. Higurashi!" The two women laughed and Kagome finally adjusted to her gastrointestinal summersaults. After all, she lovedall of her friends, right?
"Take it to the workers at the front of the shrine. I'll follow you girls with the snacks." As usual, her mother was going overboard, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless. No wonder people thought Kagome was so nice; they'd think nothing of it if they knew her mother.
She balanced the tray somewhat uneasily as she made her way to the first cluster of workmen at the front of the shrine. A few were taking a break as others continued prying off a large wooden beam near the entryway. She offered them the drinks and they smiled and thanked her. Her load became lighter and she waited patiently for the others to finish their current task so they could have a drink as well. Ayumi was busy admiring their work.
The board came loose and collapsed to the ground with a harsh thud, her heart plummeting with it. Her eyes saw it, but her brain couldn't comprehend it. She dropped the tray, ceramic cups shattering as the men yelled in concern. She couldn't hear them, not when his voice was drowning all her senses.
"Yet, you make me."
She felt warm as she registered soft hands on her face; faintly realizing that Ayumi and her mother were most likely worried. Ayumi probably thought another spell of whacko sickness had befallen her. She couldn't turn to look at them though, not now, not when he managed to turn the world upside down all over again. And she liked the gravitational pull the way it was, yet, once again, he denied her.
There, painted in a deep blue on a plank of wood adhered to the front of her family's shrine, was a crescent moon that was too familiar to be coincidental. Sesshoumaru certainly refused to die and this time, she couldn't rouse the will to hate him for it.
x x x
A/N: Two chapters left! Ha – I bet everyone thought Kazuma was dead! Also, kudos to anyone who can figure out all the pieces set forth in this chapter. Hint: it's all in the labels.