Auron's Interlude
Origonally Published 3.08.2006
ORIGONAL AUTHOR'S NOTE: my hands were shaking after i finished this. all i ask is that you read it and let it sink in before you review or flame.
I don't know when I lost hope. When I realized that our quest was doomed to failure, whether we succeeded or not.
That nothing would change and my best friend would be dead no matter what.
I don't know when it happened, but I know that Jecht picked up on it, even if Braska never did.
It was sometime after we left Macalania when I realized that I didn't want to go on. That I didn't want to sacrifice my friend. That we were just being used as a stop-gap measure.
Jecht found me that night, alone by the fire, long after Braska had fallen asleep and dragged the truth of the whole affair out of me. He promised me that we'd find a way to change it, some way to save Spira and Braska.
Obviously it failed.
Braska died anyway, and Jecht with him. And the death of my hope led to my own destruction.
The foolishness of youth.
I still have my doubts. I don't believe that Jecht's plan can succeed. But even ten years later, what choice do we have? The Calm is over; Sin must be defeated again.
It would be so much easier if I could believe that this time it would be different. That I wasn't just escorting another Summoner to her death.
If I didn't believe that I would be left with nothing but pain in my soul where someone beloved used to be.
Nights like this make it very easy for me to understand how the Unsent can become fiends. Not because they envy the living their lives, but because they envy the living their hope of something better after death.