Chapter 4

Christine's kiss was like adding dry wood to an ever-growing blaze. Erik's immediate rage was jolted, his grip loosening then tightening again as he registered what was happening.

He couldn't breathe, couldn't force his closed eyes to open again. She paralyzed him, melted the cold he had felt for so long in one petrifying moment of consuming passion.

And she didn't stop. She clung to him, her fingers gripping his sides, torso pressed to his. Erik's hands abandoned the hold they kept on her arms in favor of wrapping around her back, holding her so close that no space remained between their bodies.

She aggravated him, sent his mind in a dozen different directions, but she stirred him in ways nothing had ever done before. Music was joy, but Christine was intoxicating pleasure, a delicacy he could not imbibe frequently enough. She wasn't on his mind; she was in his blood, in every beat of his heart. And now she was closer than ever before in ways Erik had always thought impossible, forbidden to a beast such as himself. It added to her allure, to the longing that penetrated every hour of every day.

Neither of them spoke when the kiss was slowly broken, both of them lingering, tasting and testing one another. Erik's nerves felt as though they were on fire, his every sense heightened, his desire everything but sated.

He knew his want for her was obvious as he held Christine against him. The blush to her cheeks and the slight smile on her swollen lips confirmed that she was well aware of him. It had only been a kiss, he told himself, no promise of more. He was foolish, inexperienced and brazen to expect anything.

As much as it pained him—physically and mentally—he knew he had to make Christine leave now, before something happened—before she could regret him more than he knew she already would.

"Christine—" Erik said, his voice low and husky.

Without a sound, Christine drew little circles along his back, her caress moving ever so slowly down his spine until her fingers pressed into his sides, bringing him impossibly closer. She smiled when he stopped speaking, appearing satisfied in her games.

Her small, soft hands pressed to his chest, her fingers splayed, searching beneath his shirt until he thought his heart would cease to beat, that the heat he felt building inside would turn them both to ash.

"I want to know," she said quietly. "About this man."

Erik grit his teeth, his nostrils flaring. "What man?"

Her eyes flickered up to meet his. "This man," she said, keeping her hands over his heart. "Who will offer me his home, his food, the use of his paper and pen, but most of all…"

"What. Most of all what? Tell me."

She smiled at his impatience and pressed another kiss to his mouth. "Most of all his trust."

It sounded absurd to his ears. The last thing on his mind was speaking. He wanted to toss her on his bed and devour her in the most ungentlemanly fashion, but here she stood, the woman that he had loved for years, asking him to be more to her than a voice in shadows.

"Trust for what?"

Her eyes fixed on her hands still covering his heart. "For two things."

"Name them," he said, agitation rising.

Christine's grin widened on his desire to please her. "Trust that I will return to you soon enough and when I do you will not lay a hand on me unless I consent to it. Do I have your word?"

With great reluctance he nodded.

"You must understand, Erik, that for years we have known each other only in voice. If it is to be something more…I believe we shall see in time."

"What shall we see?"

"What we feel for one another."

He gripped her tightly. "I know what I feel for you. It's the only thing I've ever felt in my life for anyone," he confessed.

Christine thought a moment, her eyes closing briefly as she smiled. "I feel strongly for you as well."

Erik sighed in relief. He had been terrified of facing her the morning after he brought her to his apartments. At the time his only thought was to keep her from the new patron, whom he knew was fond of Christine. But once she was asleep in the room he had made for her he didn't know what to do, and so he had kept his distance and his mind focused on music.

When she appeared from her room he had hoped she would be drawn to the music and take her seat beside him, singing for him with no questions asked. That was how he envisioned their life together: him composing and playing music and her singing. How exactly they would arrive from him whisking her away to her accepting the new life he had planned he had never attempted to imagine. It would merely be what she did and they would be happy.

Christine took a step back and smoothed her hands over her skirt. "When I look into your eyes I see love," she said.

He stood panting, completely at a loss for words, wanting nothing more than for Christine to continue. Most assuredly this had to be a dream, a pleasant, perfect dream that would end in heartache as he shot up in bed and found only darkness. His hands balled into fists, nails digging into his palms. The pain told him that she was really there.

"But when I feel you against me," Christine said, her head cocked to the side. "I feel only lust. Only one of them is true."

Erik knew he was gawking at her but could do nothing but close his mouth and nod. He didn't know what she wanted. All he knew for certain was that she gave her word that she would return and promises meant little to him.

"You wish to return here? To stay with me?" he asked gruffly. "But for now?"

"For now it is best that I return, just as you wanted me to do earlier."

His mouth snapped shut. He regretted wanting her to leave, especially now that he had enjoyed a little taste of her intoxicating presence.

"And return to the Vicomte de Chagny?" he challenged.

Christine sighed. "Return to rehearsals before Madame skins me alive."

"When will you return?"

"Meet me in the chapel tonight after the performance."

"The chapel?"

"I will pretend to mourn my father in such a way that no one will dare to enter. Then we may speak."

"Speak?"

Christine exhaled, her disgust masked by a chuckle. "If you merely wanted a woman who would lie on her back then you should have haunted a different chorus girl."