Chapter five

The Notebook

Disclaimer: Look if I owned final fantasy 7's characters I wouldn't be writing a fanfiction, now would I?

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When Tseng gets annoyed he has a little black Notepad, he writes everything that pisses him off in this Notepad, about everyone who has ever irritated him, here's an insight into the fascinating black book.

Note to self: push Reno off a cliff at next opportunity, paintballs hurt.

Note to self: feed Hojo to one of his own monsters…yes it was an accident, bodyguard duty was a nightmare.

Note to self: put Reno and Elena in a sound proof room to let them fight put their differences, how did I end up with a black eye in one of their fights?

Note to self: buy a hideous, hand knitted, green jumper, make Rufus wear it, he made me search the whole building for his shotgun, it was in his pocket for frig sake.

Note to self: ask Heidegger when the last time he took a bath, I almost got poisoned whenever I got the same elevator as him.

Note to self: send my Turks to group therapy, trust me they need it.

Note to self: order Reno to pay his tab, my favourite bar won't let us in anymore.

Note to self: get Scarlet drunk and push her off the balcony, another tragic loss for Shinra, suicide who wudda thunk it?

Note to self: if I ever get hold of a time machine go back to Reno's first day and shoot him.

Note to self: if I ever get hold of a time machine, let Sephiroth kill me, I need to be put over my misery.

Note to self: go sign myself up for a stress coping course; those last two entries are beginning to scare me.

Note to self: buy a whole herd of Chocobos and send them after Hojo after stashing a Chocobo lure materia in his lab coat, that last bodyguard shift was worse than when Sephiroth was around.

Note to self: call in sick tomorrow, Rufus made me search the building again, this time for his wallet…I'll just let Reno deal with the brat.

Note to self: make Reno wear his uniform properly, threaten him with last years new-years photos, I still have that migraine.

Note to self: I really have to stop writing in this notebook.

AN: hope you enjoyed this, I know it's random, but can you please review and if you can any ideas for later chapters, thankies.