Derek: (Shocked and saddened.) You're married... I'm sorry I didn't know. I've never seen a ring, you've never talked about it.

Meredith: Derek, I'm sorry. It's complicated.

Derek: It's OK, I have to go...(he had to get out of there, he felt like he had been punched in the stomach.)

Derek rushes out of the scrub room and runs into Mark around the corner.

Mark: So, did you ask her?

Derek: (Grumbles.) Yeah.

Mark: Do what did she say?

Derek: Oh, only that she's married.

Mark: What?

Derek: Yeah, just my freaking luck. I finally meet someone who is a amazing, and she's married. She is the only girl I could ever see myself settling down with. I just can't believe this.

Mark: That would explain the last name. Why doesn't she talk about him. Maybe their marriage is shit. You might have a chance.

Derek: No, the only kind of man who messes around with a married woman is an asshole, and I am no asshole!

Mark: You're right. She probably has her reasons. You should at least stay friends with her. She probably feels bad enough as it is.

Derek: Well, I can't see her right now. I have to go. I have a consult.

Mark: It will work out. I know it doesn't feel that was. It just wasn't meant to be. See you later.

Meredith begins to chase after Derek, and then she sees him talking to Mark, she decide to leave him alone. She could tell he was upset, and she didn't want to make it worse. She decides to go find Cristina, she would make her feel better. After searching, she found Cristina marking charts at the nurses station.

Meredith: You are my person, right?

Cristina: That's what I've heard. Why, what's wrong?

Meredith: Derek asked me out.

Cristina: Oh shit.

Meredith: I told him I was married. He looked like I ran over his puppy. Damn John, damn him.

Cristina: So you finally admit you have feelings for McDreamy?

Meredith: Damn-it! Yes, I do. I don't know why! I am married.

Cristina: Unhappily. Why don't you just get a divorce?

Meredith: John is my life, I have been with him so long...

::FLASHBACK::

Lois: Meredith, you look so beautiful. You are going to be married today, to my son. This is one of the happiest days of my life! I always knew you two were meant to be together. Meredith, I couldn't love you anymore more than if I had given birth to you myself. In my heart, you are my daughter. Thank you for being you, and thank you for making my son the happiest man on earth.

Meredith smiles at her, halfheartedly. She is still broken up about finding John in bed with that girl. Lois practically raised her. Her mother was never around, so she pretty much lived at Lois' house growing up. She could never tell Lois what John did, it would crush her.

::END OF FLASHBACK::

Cristina: Meredith?

Meredith: Yeah?

Cristina: Where the hell were you?

Meredith: The past...

Cristina: What? Never mind. Like I was saying. You are the only one who can make yourself happy. You really need to decide what the hell you are going to do. Besides, you are no spring chicken.

Meredith: Thanks! Now I feel great. (Sarcastically.)

Cristina: I have to go...see you later.

Meredith: Bye.

Meredith decides that she does need to talk to Derek. Even if he is mad at her. She needs to explain to him what is going on. She sees Derek standing at the end of the hallway. They lock eyes, and she feels that feeling in her stomach. The one that only makes her have. She starts to walk towards him, and he rushes into a patient's room. She couldn't talk to him in there. Just as she was waiting for him in the hall, she heard the nazi coming.

Bailey: Thompson! What the hell are you doing? Are you getting paid to daydream. I don't think so! Get you ass to the pit. There are sutures that need to be done.

Meredith: Right away. (Derek walks by while she is talking to Bailey, knowing she can't follow him.) I am going there now.

Meredith starts heading towards the pit. The same direction that Derek was heading.

Meredith: Der-, Dr. Shepherd! (He hears her but keeps going. She knew she had to get to the pit. She wasn't giving up this fast.)

All day Derek was avoiding Meredith like the plague. Meredith was off in an 10 minutes, as she was heading towards the elevator, she saw Derek. He saw her, and he was willing the elevator door to shut. He wasn't ready for her yet. She ran up and squeezed between the doors before they shut. He just looks and her with hurt in his eyes, then drops his head. Meredith pushes the emergency stop button.

Meredith: So, I have this crazy feeling you have been trying to avoid me all day.

Derek: Oh yeah?

Meredith: Derek...

Derek: Meredith...

Meredith: I'm sorry I never told you. It's complicated.

Derek: That's what I've heard.

Meredith: I've been married for six years, the night before the wedding, he decides to screw some girl he met at a bar. All because he thought I was having an affair with my gay friend.

Derek: Then why did you marry him?

Meredith: He is all I have ever known. I don't remember not being with him. I grew up at his house. He was my first real boyfriend. His mother was more of my mother than the one that gave birth to me. I couldn't bare to tell his mother what happened and my mom told me to get while the getting is good because I would never amount to anything. He hurt me bad, worse than anyone in this world, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't call off the wedding. We have been unhappy for so long, I don't know what happy is anymore. I'm sorry Derek. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I would be lying if I said I had no feelings for you, but I can't do anything about it right now.

Derek: Oh Meredith, I'm so sorry. No one should live their life without being happy. I'm not saying you should get a divorce, but things aren't going to fix themselves. I am here for you, as a friend.

Meredith hugs Derek. She loves him, and it's unexplainable. She didn't even know him that well. It didn't really matter, she felt like she's known him a lifetime. She knew exactly what she had to do...

Meredith pulled into the garage. She was finally going to do it. She had grown, she was ready, nothing could stop her. John was sitting at the kitchen table eating the dinner that Mrs. White had made them. She sat down and started putting food on her plate. She looked up at John. The face that had been so familiar to her, her comfort, her life.

Meredith: John, I want a divorce.